Dancing in the dark, with you between my arms, barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

~ Perfect

I've been walking about the garden for a while now, trying to find my way around to where Travis had called me for. I called him as soon as I arrived at the entrance, worried because he hadn't sounded well.

Cause when you say nothing.

The voice of his, made the insides of mine, twist.

I just wished it wasn't about someone who'd died.

Oh wait, did you think that I was worried that it's about our relationship? Oh no, no. It would never be about our relationship. No, that thing is as strong as the flow of time.

I felt a glimpse of happiness for myself even in the doubt of sorrow. I felt mature and it sounded so funny when comparing to my age. There I was, going ahead in growing, not alone, at a birthday party of a family member, feeling content at how normal things were.

"Pete, I've been looking for you."

I snapped from my thoughts, turning to look at my boyfriend, who was heaving and taking fast breaths like he'd been running around everywhere. "Travis? Where the hell have you been? You told me to wait here."

"I know, but not wonder into the garden!" He had an amused look that made me smile. "I think you got lost."

No, I'm not.

I looked around to see where I'd come from.

No, I'm not.

Okay, so maybe I am.

"Come on now, enough daydreaming. I'll get all the angles of the place on phone so you can paint them later." He looked like he's from the historical dramas. Like a humble prince or something. He was only wearing a white shirt and jeans for god's sake.

Maybe I should draw him as a prince.

I narrowed my eyes at him either way because I felt accused. "I wasn't daydreaming, but just looking. Plus, you know taking a picture isn't going to give the idea for me to paint them. The beauty can never be caught by a-"

"-a machine," he interrupted. "Yes, I know. But they're going to cut the cake. How about we come back to this after the party finishes?"

"Alright." And it felt so nice to banter with him. He loved it, I loved it. It was a win-win situation. "But Trav, I have this idea to paint by hand. What do you think about that? Like, using my fingers and everything..."

I had his attention in time.

"The fingertips are useful tools you know. I've been watching a few videos too. There are so many artists who do that and it's so much more interesting than just using paint brushes."

Travis hummed along to all the ideas that I had. And I was always glad that I shared them instead of cowering away with doubt. He told me when the idea was good, and he told me where he'd think I'd need to work on.

It made me trust him more.

"Oh, Pete, wait a sec."

We paused abruptly in the middle of the garden. I looked down at what he was picking at, and my heart skipped a beat. "Trav?"

"Wait, I'm not done yet."

But I couldn't wait for him! I prayed that what I saw wasn't real. "Is that a tattoo?!" Travis froze. "Travis, you have a tattoo?!"

He finally looked up from his shoe, still on his knees, with a sheepish smile. "Yeah? Do you like it?"

My mouth was wide open, and I couldn't figure out how to close it. On the back of his neck, Travis had a tattoo. "Travis, that says a word."

He chuckled, looking up at me. "Yeah, it says Pete in cursive. I got it small because I didn't want it too big but it's not bad right? I actually feel good about it."

My mind was blank.

"No regrets at all though I'm so nervous for what's to come."

I narrowed my eyes. I felt like I was floating. "What's 'what's to come'?"

"I know that this has been put off for more than enough." Travis pushed his hand down into his packets and pulled out a box.

His words made my heart dig deeper and I could feel the tears fighting to let out. Everything was happening too suddenly.

I couldn't believe that he was down on one knee.

"You've grown so much and so have I, and we found each other just in time to keep each other and honestly, I still think that you don't see the way I see you." Travis reached out for my hand, and it felt so magical, taking it ahold. "But I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you the way I look at you being so beautiful and bright. So, Pete – my pretend husband, would you make me happier than ever to call you my actual husband?"

I laughed in such joy I've never felt. My heart was beating too loudly, so much more like the bells of a church. I could feel the blood flow in myself but felt so numb at the same time as I nodded, pulling Travis up into a hug.

A hug I'll never forget.

So simple yet so strong.

"I have a husband," I couldn't help but mumble.

He only laughed and hugged me tighter. "Slow down baby, we're almost there."

I ignored him. I rather thought that I was allowed to run as fast as I can. My boyfriend proposed to me, and I actually felt in place. I loved that it was so simple. I loved that no one else was there.

I love that I feel deserved.

Yes, I've been to hell and back, as my husband likes to put it.

Opps, maybe I am a tad bit too excited.

But I moved on passed that because it wasn't about drowning in sorrows and regrets that your mind makes up. I've gone through a hurdle that makes me believe that I can go through it again and much worse. I'll always be okay, and I'll always make it out.

I've become a better person. With the people I know. Aka: Travis.

As a matter of fact.

I wouldn't have found myself out of where I was without him. It's not something ugly to come to terms with. I think that we both grew with each other these past years. I've changed because of him, and he's changed because of me. For us. As cliché as it sounds.

As a matter of fact, indeed. 

---

The END.