𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚍; 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜.

𝚆𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐.

𝚆𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚍, 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝙸 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐.

𝚆𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚠𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍𝚜.

𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚠𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗.

𝚆𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜; 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎𝚜..

𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚎𝚜;
𝘈𝘨𝘢𝘱𝘦.

(𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕)

I should have known, something deep inside of me always knew, but perhaps I wasn't ready. Paul's eyes settled behind the slow sketched outline of a lake reaching into the bayou.

He was different, I could see the daunting truth resounding in his being. He was a modern man, watching an old city lick the flames of our fire while catching the cinders of his past.

The church within him was aflame, too. All of his strict doctrines, beliefs, and conventions were nothing but thin particles now, snow in a blizzard until he was bare in the winter.

Paul shook the soot off his wings and rose from his ashes. He was experiencing a metamorphosis, breaking and changing into someone I was so proud of.

That's how I knew we shared something special.

We had time, and time was not always gracious, to the fragile. Sometimes it made us weak and weary, a fragment of ourselves.

Tonight I would I hang from the ceiling for him, with a golden rope around my heart, and he would cut me free.

I would find a way to be raw, vulnerable, and hopefully, the one he loved back!

"Feather! We need to go to the store!" Paul grumbled, opening the cabinets. He frowned miserably staring at how empty everything was.

"Yeah, sure!" I agreed, turning on a few lights above the dust.

My parents had always dreamed of a little escape outside of the city. It was a tiny private home, but an oasis for a troubled spirit. The frames of the house were aligned with an old Western Cedar wood, building up to the roof and chimney.

The red furnish made it look cozy and modern. Yet it was sheek like an upscale model home. The place was full of love, or the slight suggestion of bodies to bodies creating heat and warmth like the fireplace.

It kindled with intimacy, a big white rug spread out in the center, candles, a wine cellar, one tv, one king size bed, and a tiny canopy that opened up under the stars, Not forgetting that we had enough chocolate to fill the luxury bath.

I blushed as I eyed a pack of condoms on the coffee table. Perhaps the house was more forward with its intention than I was.

Paul seemed to focus more of his energy on finding food, than noticing how romantic this getaway was.

"We should wait for my brother to get food" I suggested.

Paul's stomach growled as he glanced at me, "Okay, but I need a snack", he said sorely.

I grabbed a bottle of wine, "Château Margaux?" I asked reading the label.

Paul smiled, his ruggedly good looks could gift the blind, "You're trying to get me drunk and seduce me?" he asked, pretending to be offended.

I laughed, perhaps there was a little bit of truth to that statement, but in actuality, I was nervous to tell him how I felt, and perhaps drinking would give me the courage.

Paul grabbed the bottle from me, popping the cork with thumb and taking a swig from the bottle. I watch the dark red, dribbled on his lips.

I took a step closer, wishing to sample just a little bit of his bitterness. My hands grazed his skin, watching his pores rise on his hairy arm.

"Whoa!" he laughed nervously, holding me at arm's length.

"You're not shy now?" I laughed, "no one's here, but us" I whispered.

Paul cringed, gently taking my hands into his, "Do you want to talk Feather?" he asked hesitantly. I heard a vulnerability in his voice, that was different from his usual sturdy, deep utterances. It made me wonder..what he was afraid of.

"I'm listening" I encouraged, although my heart was pounding.

I saw the anguish on his face, there was so much pain in that sentence. Paul strummed his fingers, creating an awkward tension between us, "I might be insane" he blurted out.

I raised my brow concerned by the look of turmoil on his face, "what makes you say that?" I asked

I blushed as he stared at me intensely, "I don't know but lately I've been feeling weird..." he paused looking away, "like I want something more but I can pinpoint what it is" he sighed.

I stopped, smiling as I looked into his sad eyes. Paul was squirming in own skin, as he fidgeted, looking nervously away.

His flustered rosy face scrunched together in tight frustration, as he babbled on.

I sat down, my eyes intently focused on Paul as I tried my best to help him unscramble his thoughts, "Can you describe this feeling?" I asked, concerned that he might be getting sick again.

Paul shifted on his feet, as he tapped his fingers against his chin, "ummm" he mumbled rubbing his chin. "Weird as in, different. It feels warm, it tickles, it makes me care and worry."

I raised an eyebrow, pursing my lips together tightly to stop giggling. Whatever, Paul was trying to say it was just as entertaining watching him wrestle with his use of adjectives.

Paul paused glancing at me from the corner of his eyes, "don't laugh" he hissed running his hands through his hair, "but this feeling makes me less angry" he whispered quickly.

"Are these feeling towards anyone or anything in general?" I asked, still confused.

The color drained from Paul's face, as he stood like a deer in headlights.

"Nevermind" he finally said, giving up.

The room filled with an awkward silence, as I suppressed my feelings too. A tiny inkling of my heart and mind wondered if he was trying to say he cared for me, but my ticking metal heart just wouldn't allow me to entertain such notions.

I wanted so badly for him see me as more but I couldn't force him too.

Paul, coughed breaking the silence, I had drifted away into a dreamy state of thoughts, and wishes. My heart felt like a burning candle, as I stared longly into the fantasy of a future, that so many dreamers and lovers called too.

Paul shrugged sheepishly, "I like talking to you" he confessed.

I stood on my tippy toes, my neck pointed toward the sky, as I stole a kiss from his wine-filled lips.

I noticed he didn't flinch when my lips grazed his, but he didn't respond either. I guess tonight I was testing deep waters, to find out if I could swim.

"I like talking to you too but that's going to cost you extra" I winked.

Paul coughed, spewing wine everywhere as he struggled to catch his breath, "Wwwhhhat?!" he gasped as I whacked him on the back.

"Just kidding?" I whispered, slightly surprised by his strong reaction.

Paul glared at me as if he wanted to kill me. Instead, he laughed pulling me in for a hug, "You should be a comedian" he said rolling his eyes.

I headed upstairs, ready for a shower.

"Hey can I borrow your phone?" he asked.

I nodded, pointing to my bag, "I'll be in the shower" I said suggestively, hoping that he would get the hint.

Paul looked at me as if I was crazy and gave me the thumbs up signal, " uhhhh don't forget to wash between your toes" he suggested.

I huffed, this was going to be harder than I thought...

Paul Pov

Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. We confine ourselves to isolation and emptiness and then complain about being lonely, knowing that we asked to be on this island.

I was grappling with so many feelings I didn't understand. Suddenly when I was around Feather, my body turned to jello, and I couldn't think properly.

I was sweating as If I had a fever, just from looking into her toffee eyes, but nothing was worse than what my heart was doing...

I had never experienced this before, and part of me was frightened and worried that maybe someone had drugged me.

But my thoughts whispered, "maybe you like her?"

I waited until I heard the shower running, and Feather was out of hearing range to curse at myself.

"NO, NO, NO! This can't be happening, everything is wrong about this!"

I had made a mistake with her brother, and now on top of that, Figs and I had gotten ourselves on the hit list of one of our cities most elite and powerful psychopaths. Having any types of feelings for Feather was just not safe..

I gulped, my Adam's apple bobbed up and down, as I grabbed the living room phone to make a call.

"Hello? Figs answered picking up on the second ring.

I let go of the breath I was holding, hearing his voice was one less stress I had to think about.

"You're okay," I said relieved.

"I broke into the Mayor's office, I'm trying to find a paper trail. If I can get proof that he's broken the law, I can go to the police and he'll be arrested before he can harm us" he whispered proudly.

I stammered with rage, shocked that Figs would do something so stupid and risky, "ARE YOU NUTS! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! DO YOU THINK SUCH A MANIPULATIVE MAN WOULD MAKE IT THAT EASY? IT'S PROBABLY HEAVILY GUARDED OR WORSE IT'S A TRAP!" I yelled.

Figs voice fell below a whisper, "I'm fine, and I found nothing. So I'm leaving now" he grumbled.

I balled my fist together, angry at that dumb shit.

The line was still silent, "How's my sister?" Figs finally asked.

I groaned, "Our distraction plan isn't going to work for long. I can't force her to stay here forever. I'm going to tell her the truth. I can't lie to her. It's not right" I said feeling guilty.

"When did you start caring about our safety?" Figs asked, his voice light and curious.

I ignored his question, "I'm also coming clean about our hook-up." I blurted out.

I heard the stress in Figs voice, "have you ever been so heartbroken that you don't understand the time of day it is? The truth will destroy her" he said firmly, "but tell me if we didn't have a one night stand would you be all over her? Do you even like her?" He asked hesitantly.

I thought really hard about my answer, "for a long time my life has revolved around using my body to survive. I don't even know if I have a heart" I sighed, "I just don't want to disappoint anyone."

I heard Figs cough, the line went silent. My hands were gripping the phone tightly as I pressed my ear up against the speaker waiting for some type of answer.

"If you care about my sister you'll do whatever it takes to distract her until I can get there and tell her. If you tell her she'll hate me and you" Figs said falling apart.

I could hear the pain and worry in his voice, I didn't want to be the reason a family was torn apart.

"Fine, but I won't lie if she asks me directly," I said making a compromise.

I knew Figs was smiling I could hear the happiness in his voice, "good, thanks!" he mumbled, "anything else?" he asked.

I heard the water from the pipes moving throughout the home, "Stay away from the Mayor, and don't get caught, idiot" I growled hanging up.

My mind drifted far beyond my reach, I was running through the pulses of time and I didn't know how to feel.

"So where are we going?" Feather asked, creeping up on me silently.

I jumped, my pulse fluttering again, as her perfume wavered on my senses.

I smiled trying my best to keep it together, "to the store," I said.

Feather pouted but grabbed the keys.

I gently took them from her, placing them down, "The dusk is beautiful, we should walk and enjoy it" I told her.

My heart was pounding again, ensured by the beauty of her warm smile, something about her look was so mesmerizing that I often held my breath in.

My mind was screaming, "tell her how you feel!"

Feather slipped her hand into mine, her warm eyes stole the world and placed it softly in my hands, reminding me how beautiful her nature was.

We walked quietly, watching the world churn slowly, moving on its axis, as the undertones of the sky blended into a soft lighting.

It was sweeter than a cupcake, yet marvelous and rich as the sky retreated and brought forth the moon.

The orange hues dripped into the boysenberry colors, creating a bright pop against the emerald fields. The earth crunched beneath us as we walked through the uncivil roads.

This place was secluded, to say the least like it's own tiny island.

I thought of Ed, and how much he would love to retire here, listening to the sparrows sharpen their lungs and the owls rustle high up in the trees waiting for night to give them permission to hoot.

"We should talk about our feelings," Feather said hesitantly looking up at my face trying to read it.

My heart raced, "uh yeah?" I said walking a little faster.

Feather stopped abruptly, her hands still wrapped in mine, "well?" she asked patiently.

"Is this a Great Gatsby Love or a Romeo and Juliet love?" she asked.

I thought for a moment, "well, no one has to die" I joked nervously.

I could tell from her anxious movements that she wanted more, but I just couldn't do it.

"We're here!" I said pointing to the store, happy to have a distraction.

It was a tiny simple corner store, the building seemed to be held together by dust and glue, but yet it had a pleasing old town aesthetic. We raced like horses to get inside. I was starving and apparently so was Feather.

"Oh my god, this is good!" Feather mumbled as she stuffed her cheeks with grapes, like a squirrel harvesting nuts for winter.

"We have to pay for that!" I lectured taking the bag away from her as we grabbed things from the shelves.

Feather rolled her eyes, stuffing another grape in my mouth, "It's okay, I did. My family sponsors this grocery store and gives to their local homeless fundraiser project. As gratitude the owner always gives me a free complimentary bag of grapes" she laughed.

I nodded, understanding now where Feather got her kind and generous nature from, "Okay, let's hurry up and shop." I told her.

It took about ten minutes but we finally paid for two bags of food, that would last us about five seconds when we got back to their place.

Feather sighed leaning against me as we carried the bags outside, "I don't want to carry these all the way back, she complained" huffing, "exercise is against my religion" she complained.

I laughed, kissing her forehead, "stop being silly" I scolded.

Feather looked nice tonight. She was wearing a nice body hugging pair of skinny jeans and a short black halter top that showed off her petite figure. Her black curls spiraled like a tongue twister as she wore it high above her head in a bun.

"What are you doing?" I asked concerned as she skipped ahead of me and jumped into a cart that was in the middle of the grocery store parking lot.

"Push me, and the groceries. With these wheels we will get home fast!" she giggled excitedly.

I looked around, I had to admit I always wanted to ride in a grocery store cart, downhill.

"Deal, but scoot over I want in," I said hoping aboard.

I sat behind Feather, using the wall closest to us to give us a head start, as I pushed.

Feather screamed, throwing her hands up as if we were riding a roller coaster.

I laughed tossing my head back, listening to the wheels skid across the road gaining momentum as we pivoted straight down.

"Wait, how are we going to stop this thing?" Feather yelled above the loud screeching noise of the tires, and the rattling cart.

I shrugged, "we got to stop sometime," I said holding her in my arms tight.

We flew past the night watching it all mar together like a swirling cone, of goodness. We could barely keep our eyes closed as we ripped into the wind, creating sparkling streaks, in the places we left behind. The roads were empty and infinite, and I felt alive.

I looked at Feather, her eyes grew as we got close enough to magic. The silver vapors of the cool air chilled our spines with a rush of excitement, our hearts raced against the wheels as we rippled in our time.

I tried to look up at the star, as we held on tightly but it twinkled so quickly. We were afraid to miss this moment, it was life, laughter, and high thrills. Eventually we would stop, but for now, we moved at the speed of light and in what felt like a tiny shuttle propelling us through the open orgasmic universe.

We held the dark blue voids at the end of our fingertips, afraid of nothing. Just listening to our waves of laughter echo.

Feather held my chin, pulling me down to her face as she kissed me, in her hysteria and euphoria.

I kissed her back, returning the love I felt I couldn't deserve. I wasn't worthy of her, I didn't deserve the pain or the pleasure behind her fetching eyes, our the way she made a queen jealous with her royal smile.

So we closed our eyes, enjoying the bumps and skids in the road, as we spun out of place. Laughter spinning on a spindle, moving like we're drifting, and speeding like time would never run out.

I tasted her secrets, as she controlled the kiss, breathing in slowly as our noses crushed against each other face. She was sweet like I expected her to be. Feather took my lips to her heart, bones pressed into my skin, and pulse against my breath; riding down the road of agony.

Kissing her felt normal when the world was forever changing. My heart had stopped strumming like it was in a heavy metal band and eased into the smooth tempos of a sigh, or melody sung by an opera singer. It was perfect, yet nothing felt the same down to the core,

and for once in my life,

I stopped fighting.

I pulled away, my lips glistened like a shiny badge marked from her intrusion. This was what I was afraid of, caring so much that even if I wanted to put space and distance between us, I couldn't.

Feather had me now,

the same way my arms held her waist, pressed against my body as if we were one.

She had me,

and the magnets of destiny wouldn't let us go.

I pulled away roughly, as we began to slow down, coming to the end of the hill. I grabbed Feather tight, using my body as a shield, ready for the impact.

I closed my eyes and flinched as we narrowly avoiding hitting a tree.

"This is so much fun!" Feather screamed loudly in my ear.

I winced, "get ready to jump!" I told her as we slowed down enough for us to do so safely.

I grabbed her hand and we jumped together, landing roughly on the ground.

I rolled over groaning as my arms twisted, "that hurt" I laughed checking on Feather.

She was fine.

Feather grabbed the groceries, "last one in the house, gets locked out for an hour!" she said darting toward her place.

I jumped up quickly, there was no way I was losing this.

I wiped the perspiration from my forehead as the kitchen became hot with the smells of soup and garlic bread. I could hear my stomach roaring as Feather prepared the food.

Feather paused to latch her hands around my waist, feeling the solid indents of my body pressed against hers. I stared at her intently, just smiling.

"So..." she hummed drawing out her words as if it was bubble gum.

"What?" I mumbled.

Feather bit her lips, her knees buckled nervously. I held her tight, as we embraced.

"So, how do you feel about me Paul?" she blurted out.

I sighed, this was the moment I had dreaded, and having her so close and being so affection made it worse. I looked into her puppy eyes and I knew I had to tell her the truth.

I lead her into the dining room, "sit down, please" I paced, my voice broke with emotions. What I had to say now, was the hardest thing ever.

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