[OP: "Eurus"--The Oh Hellos]

Sasuke knew what Shine wanted to hear--finally, he knew it.

Or had he known it all along?

But...when she asked him that, the first thing he felt was fear.

Not anger, but fear... or maybe that anger had always been fear.

Not now, he was not satisfied to just be angry at Shine. She'd worked too long to make sure it was impossible not to listen to her at least somewhat seriously, and that made the anger go away.

And she was right...as usual. She knew what was eating him...literally, maybe.

The realization made him a lot more meek than usual.

"I wouldn't know where to start." He finally held his hand in a tired way. "If I was honest... all my miserable life I've never been any different."

"That's not true." Shine was surprisingly strong about this. "That's not fair to yourself. You have been different, sometimes. You act as if there's never been anything you've done right, Sasuke. You've forgotten it, that's all. But no one is ever unable to do good at least a few times in their life, and I know you."

"So what if there were a few things here and there?" Sasuke said. "I can't even remember why I did them now. So what is it to anyone else? Besides, it's like what the others say. I'm afraid to care anymore."

He gripped his sheets again. "I mean...look at this, you've done nothing but try to help me, and I never thanked you for it because I wasn't grateful. And I don't feel grateful now. You think I don't know that that is deeply messed up? I know it is, but it's the way I am."

"I think you should calm down."

"Well, it is!" Sasuke was angry again, but now it was at himself more than her.

Shine shook her head. "You sound like me, honestly," she said. "I have had trouble with that too... Sasuke, please, it's not like you can't tell we're helping you--you're not that insane... The reason you don't feel it is because you're afraid to. Same as with me, once. Fear gets in the way. But really, I think you always knew. And I don't really care if you feel it or not, right now. So don't get so upset about that part, please."

"I just don't know how you can stand it." Sasuke sounded miserable now. "I'm a waste of people's time, and at least I know that. But they kept trying anyway."

"And why do you think that is?" Shine asked.

Pause.

"I have no idea." Very frustrated. "They don't believe me when I tell them, I guess."

"Perhaps, but for me it was really more that it didn't really matter," Shine said. "If it was a few times or not, it's the right thing to do. And can you allow that your other friends may just feel the same way? Maybe they know you a little better than you think--however blind as they have been, I'm not so sure Sakura ever really didn't know that, and Naruto must have at least starting to wonder, even him. But they believed it was the right thing to do, never to give up. Surely you can recognize that, even if you don't understand why they feel that way. And they aren't wrong; if it's possible to show mercy, we should show mercy. We just disagree in different places about when it's too late for that. However, all this had worked out the way it has, so maybe they were right."

"So?" Sasuke was sour. "So if you think it's the right thing, so what? It doesn't change me."

"No, but it's a big step to have you admit that," Shine said. "I'm glad of it. Because you make everything about you, but it can just be about doing what's right, whether it's you or someone else. Look at the team and notice that many are rejects, but here in this team, they belong. Because we don't give people up for lost so easily."

Granted...

"So you do this just out of obligation?" he said.

As if he wouldn't have been angry to hear otherwise, but it still bothered him for some reason.

"Sasuke, I love what I do," Shine said simply. "So no."

"And that's all? I'm a project to you."

"You made yourself out to be one at first...but, I think you already know the answer to that," she said.

Sasuke didn't want to think about it. He preferred if she just told him.

Shine folded her arms. "There are reasons I don't talk to you openly about my motives, you know. It's not just to mess with you. It's because you are afraid to hear certain answers. Good or bad ones, doesn't matter. If you were not afraid anymore, I would tell you."

That was surprisingly reasonable.

"Whatever the reason," Sasuke said, "I still don't know why you put up with me for this long."

"You know when you get like this, you astonish me by how clearly you see your own behavior," Shine said. "You don't seem like it that often, but then even to Naruto and Sakura, you sometimes told the truth...but they didn't believe you or didn't understand it, did they? And then you get stubborn again...which is why it's difficult for us to make progress, but, we're all stubborn. The problem is that you do know the truth, deep down, about why you don't Iike this. So...what do you want to do about it?"

This was the real question.

"I don't know," Sasuke snapped back, now trying to get off this and onto a different subject. "I don't think I'm really done with resenting what happened in the past--and Your God and His part in it...bI wish almost that He'd just have struck me down rather than let me finds out the truth about it and not give an answer about why."

"Is...that what you were saying the other night?" Shine said, with grim understanding... "Oh... wow...Sasuke..."  she sighed.

"It just would be easier that way," Sasuke said. "If everything was so offensive to Him, and I was cursed...and He wasn't going to stop what happened, and if, as you said, it might have been His judgement, then...why do I have to still be here?"

"I can't be sure of the reasons," Shine said soberly. "Because I'm not God. But you ever think that it could be that you survived for more reasons than just Itachi's choice?"

"No, that's the only way of stopping it, from all I hear," Sasuke said.

"No, you dolt, I mean they may think so, but God directs men's hearts, sometimes," Shine said. "I doubt that Itachi really was good enough to think of that idea on his own to leave you alive... Yes, he twisted it by making it your burden to avenge your family, but, on the other hand...perhaps you were spared for a different reason."

"And what reason was that?" Sasuke said wearily.

"Well, I can give you an idea, but you have to find the rest of it yourself," Shine said. "But I'll tell you so much: In the Bible there were nations that were considered cursed because of how they started. One started from incest, and it was considered unclean. They called them the Moabites, related to the Israelites by unholy ties. And Moab oppressed Israel many times...but there was one woman from Moab who was a godly woman who had faith in the true God, and she was in the line of our savior, Jesus. And there was another woman in His line who committed sexual immorality with a married man, but she was still in His line. And there was a woman who committed adultery with a king, but her son was in His line. And there was a woman who betrayed her entire nation to help the Israelites--and she was in His line."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her. 

"And she was from a nation that was cursed in many ways--they were marked for destruction," Shine said. "And they were impure. But God preserved just one family and integrated it into His people because He casts no one aside. And there are Christians from every walk of life of the world now, from those who are considered good, and those who are not. And that's why here in our team, we do not care who someone is. Your Uchiha heritage is nothing to us, and it's nothing to God but an opportunity to show that He is stronger than any bloodline. Again, what that means for you is up to you and Him, if you should choose to ask Him to show you. But I can't tell you about it for sure."

She paused. "One thing though--He didn't spare you because He wanted you to suffer. And remember you aren't the only one who is the last one of your clan now. Naruto and Karin didn't have it easy either. Maybe it's not the same as you, but they, Jugo, and others, they all had it pretty hard. I don't believe that was God punishing them for anything. Mankind can be brutal to people who are special or alone. But they are still here. And when there is life, there's room to change it. They want to change theirs."

She put a hand to her chin now. "And the other thing I can tell you is that no pit is so deep that He is not deeper still. I've heard it from people who suffered worse than I have, by the world's standards... God's goodness is stronger than evil, if you let it in. You can't forget the pain of your past, and you shouldn't forget it. Pain is important. Pain is an important part of life. It's part of giving life, a part of growing up. It's a part of dying, really, probably for the shortest amount of time. Pain is not despair. It is just as painful for a change of some kind happening. That said, pain is not the most important part of life either. So, it's entirely possible that God can take your pain and not remove it from existence entirely but make it into something much stronger and better than any attempt at revenge ever would. God takes revenge for us. And I can assure you what He does with it would be more punishment to the people who started this mess than what you could do. I have some ideas, even in my limited understanding, but I won't tell them to you."

"And why not?" Sasuke actually wanted to hear that part.

"Because you need to find it out for yourself," Shine said. "I can't walk you through everything, Sasuke. You're not a baby. You're too old not to take responsibility for your own life. And I think you wouldn't get it. They're just words. Words are powerful, but experience is more powerful. What I can promise you is that you'll find the answer if you really want to find it. It may take years, but it's there. It always is. And for someone who was so committed to doing evil that no one could dissuade him for years, if you went the other way and went good, you'd definitely be persistent enough to find the answers for yourself. So make up your mind. But you need to accept that there was always, and is always, a choice to do this. You were not born unable to be part of anything but pain."

Sasuke felt uncomfortably like he might cry, and he didn't want to do that. He still was too proud to want that.

Shine patted his arm softly, as if she was trying to comfort him a little but didn't wish to try hugging him or anything that might put him off.

"I think you're tired now, so I should go," she said. "I think the curse mark part will wait till the others come back. I want backup for that. So, just try to rest for now."

She left the room, but Sasuke heard her singing again in the adjacent areas:

"Just stay there for a minute, just don't move any closer...move closer.

"I just don't know if I can take it, it feels like overexposure. Move closer.

"Brick by brick and scar by scar, it's taken me years to put up these guards. I don't want to get hurt again.

"Is it agony or ecstasy? I feel safe now that you're close to me and fall apart.

"Once again I've broken. I've crumbled. I'm in pieces on the floor.

"Don't you know the damage you've done is irreparable.

"You'll find me in the wreckage of a love so severe, and it's clear I just don't know what I'm doing.

"Your love left me in ruins... Won't you ruin me again?"

https://youtu.be/EdTDjEBj0M8

[Jen Ledger--"Ruins"]

* * *

Sakura expected to have an unpleasant time, being stuck in Bakugo and Camie's group yet again, with Ino and Sai to be annoyingly fine with everything they said. And the Rain Village shinobi who'd come with them, Jakku, was still annoyed at having to do anything, it seemed like.

But, unexpectedly, no one was giving her a hard time because they knew she was tired and strung out after the Sasuke ordeal.

If anything, she was mostly invisible to them. 

Without a distraction, she could more observe the change in Ino and Sai both since they made friends with the DJs.

Sakura had not given Ino all that much thought after ending their friendship, except a few times when she might have missed it, but she always brushed it aside.

But since she realized while talking to Sasuke--going off on him, more like--that it was quite similar to his decisions, she also wondered if Ino had ever seen it that way.

The others had brought it up enough times to make Sakura suspicious that they at least did. So...what did they think she was like? Did they really think she was like Sasuke? That she just ditched her friends?

It wasn't the same thing at all. It wasn't like Ino hadn't had other friends...right?

Not that any of them seemed to be around anymore...but it still wasn't the same. Ino was clearly fine. She wasn't as hung up on needing to restore things the way Naruto had been...or Sakura herself.

Of course, Ino had often acted pretty cold to Sakura since then but always had been there when Sakura was in trouble...oddly enough...kind of like...

But Sakura didn't like making the comparisons, but unfortunately the others had made it impossible for her not to think about it. Like most touchy people, any criticism stuck in her craw for a very long time, and the more so if she should learn it was true.

And Ino seemed...happier now. She'd really taken to Camie, and it seemed to be mutual. 

And then there was Sai, whom Sakura had never given much thought to, period, and had always thought to be boring when he wasn't being weird. 

But Sai seemed far more engaged than before in conversations, perhaps because Camie didn't make fun of him for getting things wrong, and her attitude was contagious. Most of the others had stopped bothering to even get irritated with him once they had found out why he was so out of touch. And maybe they even found it funny from time to time. And the change had happened so casually that Sakura hadn't even noticed it till now.

Tenten and Kankuro were the only other people in this group, and they didn't like to talk as much, but when they did speak, they seemed at ease with Bakugo and Camie too.

So everyone had accepted that they were from another world, easily, and that they weren't ninja and that they were strange. It just...it just didn't line up with what Sakura had come to expect of shinobi.

And, being less oblivious than some of the others, she also thought the change might have been more than just the heroes' influence. It did seem that the ninja were starting to forget that they were from different Villages and were finding it easy to talk about the battles and history of their world without stirring up uncomfortable memories anymore, judging by how easily they had kept speaking of Gaara's past.

It also was just so unlike anything anyone would have ever done before, in the ninjas' Villages.

When they finally arrived, the town didn't want to let them in at first.

But rather than just clearing out, Kankuro carefully explained to them why they were there.

"We don't often see any strangers here," the village leaders told him. "No one comes near here. The Hidden Rain Village isn't that far away, and the other villages are afraid of it."

"We just came from Rain Village," Sai said.

"You?" one of the leaders scoffed. "I see your headband, boy, you're Leaf. And you're Sand." Nodding at Kankuro. "And that doesn't make any sense. What would a Leaf and Sand be even doing together? And what even are you?" This to Bakugo and Camie.

"Human," Camie offered.

"There's a Hidden Human Village?" said one person in confusion. "But how would that work...?"

"The worst of that mistake is that that sounds like something ninja would actually do," Bakugo said.

"EW..." Camie made a gagging face.

Kankuro wished he'd put on face paint--but he'd run out anyway, when he'd put it on the previous sunny day. And Rain Village had, unsurprisingly, not carried that particular item.

"Look," he said, "we're part of a peace cohort. Team Zoe. Rain Village invited us there. They want to change their government and let more people in the village. "

"We weren't born yesterday," said the leaders, irately. "Get lost."

"These pricks are dense as a rock," Bakugo said.

"Or a Stone?" Camie said, with a grin.

Ino frowned. "Well, I suppose if they want us to take our business to the next village over, it's their affair," she said, with a nod at them. "What was it again? The town of Eastern Gust?"

"You guys and your fancy weather names," Camie said. "I think I prefer our movie reference ones, honestly. They're easier to say."

"That was the one." Tenten at least caught on to Ino's game. "I mean, our other teammates should be there already. I'm sure they've got better quality stuff anyway."

"Of course we'll have to keep track of which place has the best for the Kazekage," Ino added.  "In case we do open trading routes through this land after all."

"That would get lot more traffic through this town." Sai actually didn't get they were doing this on purpose, he just genuinely had the thought... You could kind of tell, too, at least if you knew him.

"But they're not interested," Tenten said, not being the subtle type. "So let's go."

They started to turn.

"Wait a minute," one of the leaders said, right on cue. "Maybe we overreacted a little there... We're not opposed to more trade...but how do we know Rain Village is going to allow it?"

Here, they looked at Jakku.

Jakku had had his rain hood up so that his headband was not visible till now, and he looked very annoyed to pull it back and show it to the strangers.

They stared at him.

"That's Rain Village," one of them said quietly to their companions.

"Again, no one ever thinks anyone could fake those headbands?" Camie said to Bakugo.

"Maybe it's taboo, like the Geneva Conventions," Bakugo said.

"Ah, it's so hot when you know stuff," Camie teased him.

Bakugo turned red. "I told you not to--wait, did you know what that was?"

"Well duh, a lot of shows and comedy channels reference it," Camie said. "Like I'm not gonna Moogle it."

Bakugo glanced at her strangely. "I'm not sure how that was strangely kinda attractive. I think my brain must be getting warped from dating you."

"Babe, that was, like, so good though." Camie was impressed. "Like, that was just the way I would have said it. Major points. Hey, you could get good at this flirting thing after all."

"I figured I'd be the best if I tried." Bakugo tried to sound like he hadn't been pretty unsure if he was even doing it right a second ago.

"Ugh." Sakura had had enough. "Do you have to flaunt your relationship in front of me?"

"Girl, no need to be jelly," Camie said.

"And how can you let him insult you like that and call it flirting?" Sakura said.

"Girl, let me introduce you to 'mean flirting'." Camie motioned like she was literally going to guide Sakura through a doorway. She was so extra all the time. "That's what works for us, right? We've been trying these different ways of flirting with each other to see what's the most comfortable, and so far I think this one's tracking at the top."

"Why would you even do that?" Sakura asked.

"Duh, because if you're in a relationship you gotta learn to speak the language." Camie gestured. "Bakugo and I are both kinda unique , if you haven't noticed. If we just don't even try to compromise, we'll never communicate at all. And that would suck. "

Sakura was slightly intrigued. "Well, it seems stupid, but I guess that kind of makes sense too..."

"Hey, guys, focus," Ino hissed at them. "They're letting us in."

"Whoa, what'd we miss?" Camie asked.

"Kankuro explained a few more things about Gaara's vision, and Ino said a few more about our financial plans," Tenten said. "That's about it. Standard stuff."

"Standard?" Sakura said. "This is not the usual way that this goes. And since when did Ino know how to make negotiations?"

"Hey, I've been learning more from Shine than you think." Ino tossed her hair. "And she and Wally said that if it was a chance they would profit, people would be way more likely to risk it. So I tried, and it worked. They know their stuff. Honestly, why didn't we think of this years ago? I mean, it's Sand Village's approach to patch things up with Leaf, just without the...bloody part."

"Ino appears to be good at this," Sai said, without a trace of flattery. "Perhaps you should learn from it, Sakura."

Sai meant that in a nice way--at least he thought he did--but naturally Sakura didn't like it.

"What? Are you saying I'm stupid?" she said.

"How did I say that?" Sai was puzzled. "It seems I always say something to upset Sakura without knowing it."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," Sakura said.

"Case in point," Bakugo muttered. "Sakura didn't take her anti-b---h pills this morning."

"I thought you weren't going to call me that anymore," Sakura said.

"I didn't call you that. I said you didn't take the pills. That's not the same thing," Bakugo retorted. "Now shut up."

"How dare you!" Sakura said. "You shut up!"

"Hey, hey, that's my thing, all right?" Camie said. "You can't steal it.Only I get to flirt with Bakugo."

"I'm not flirting with him. Ew, that's gross," Sakura said.

"Not to get involved in this stupidity," Kankuro said, "but...I really don't know why that's so far fetched but Uchiha isn't."

"Ouch," Tenten said. "As Camie says: roasted."

"All my little kouhais are uploading this lingo so fast." Camie put her hand to her heart. "I feel Iike a proud mama bird."

"I believe that Kankuro was more of throwing shade than roasting," Sai said. "There's a nuanced difference. He didn't insult Sakura directly, he just implied that she was being inconsistent."

"I feel like there's not a real difference between roasting and throwing shade," Tenten said. "They're interchangeable." [I actually Googled that to see if there is a difference... Sai had it right. And I wrote that before I Googled it. Also, I consider that to be one of the dumbest things I have ever Googled, but it was funny.]

"At least Sasuke is quieter than Bakugo," Sakura said.

"Quiet and stuck up," Tenten said. "That's different than just quiet and thoughtful."

"Oh, tea, is this more of what your type is?" Camie asked eagerly.

"Why do you keep asking me that?" Tenten said. "I told you I really don't have one."

"Hey, Momo has science, Shine has theology, Dabi has Animal Planet, and I have people's relationship preferences," Camie said. "We've all gotta have a thing. You have weapons."

"Is there a planet of animals?" Sai asked.

"In Narnia..." Bakugo said.

Sai was still confused.

"Real question," Kankuro said to Sakura, "what did you ever see in that guy?"

Sakura tried to remember.

" I guess...well, all the girls liked him back then," she said. "I mean, Ino, you remember."

"I remember thinking that I was young and dumb," Ino said. "I mean, I don't understand it at all now."

"But...did you really just get over the crush?" Sakura said.

"I think I realized that Sasuke is not like what we thought," Ino said. "Maybe I just kept that torch alive because of our rivalry anyway. I think Sasuke and I have nothing in common and never did."

"But, Sakura, you actually did know Sasuke a little better." Camie tapped her chin. "I mean, you saw him at his more...real moments. And you still liked him, right? Or was it blind infatuation? 'Cause, like, I could never tell."

Sakura frowned. "You don't really want to know. You just want to make fun of me."

"Might as well give us a real reason to as let us guess," Bakugo said.

Sakura glared at him. "Fine...well...okay, so there are things Sasuke does that I don't like."

"There are?" Camie was surprised.

"Oh, come on, I'd be crazy if there weren't," Sakura said.

"True," Bakugo said, unhelpfully.

"Shut up," Sakura reiterated. "But he does kind things too...or he did, once...brave things. And you know, he didn't like all that dark chakra at first. At first maybe I just liked him for those superficial things, like Ino was saying, but it wasn't like he wasn't cool...sometimes. And I think Orochimaru just...twisted him. I mean, even Shine thinks that, and you all just worship her opinion."

"We don't worship it," Bakugo said. "That's going too far... She's a reasonable person, that's all. Shine's fair. You see it yourself. She says she's wrong to you. Not many people would bother to do that, especially to you."

"Really don't understand why you don't like her at all," Camie said. "Shine obviously cares more about Sasuke than everyone else does other than you, so you'd think you'd be allies."

Sakura had...actually softened a little towards Shine since the other day...but she didn't want them to think she was changing her mind about all this.

"Well, even if she was, we still have different goals," she said. "But my point was that she thinks it's not all just his fault. So why do you?"

"Who said we did?" Camie said. "Girl, I literally told the story of what Itachi did to him. Like, I never thought it was all Sasuke's fault."

"Isn't that just the reasonable thing to conclude?" Kankuro said.

"Seems Iike the powers still are affecting him," Sai said. "And I feel a little as if I might have judged him too harshly myself. But then, at the same time, some things do not make sense to me still."

"It's not that it's all him," Ino said. "It's just that...what is and what is not him? I mean, at least with Jugo, there was some sign of what he wanted and what the curse wanted being at odds--that's what Karin and Suigetsu have said about him. And he's said it too. But Sasuke seems to like it. I guess that's what worries me."

"Sasuke likes power," Bakugo said. "Jugo doesn't. Big difference. Once the LOV thought I would join them because I liked power so much and didn't like to be a traditional hero. But the suckers didn't know that I don't like to be ruled too much to let a bunch of villains boss me around. And being on the wrong side of the law is just being less free anyway. I still have moral standards. They were dumba---s to think any different."

"Of course they were, Bae." Camie patted his head. "I mean, sheesh, who could know you and think you're pliable?"

Bakugo smirked.

"I'll tell you, he's not pliable, but he's putty in her hands," Kankuro said to Tenten in a low voice.

Tenten smirked.

"Still, shouldn't you want to help him, not judge him?" Sakura asked.

"We do want to help," Camie replied. "What've we been doing?"

"Uh...you've been mocking him for months," Sakura said.

"So?" Bakugo said. 

"So...how is that helping?" Sakura replied.

"Well, lemme think about it." Camie held up her hand to count on it. "Number 1, we didn't kill him. Number 2, we were super nice and let him join our team even though he was way mean to us in the war and before that. Number 3, we didn't beat him up when he copped an attitude even after we did that very nice thing. Number 4, we've bailed him out of getting in trouble. Number 5, he doesn't really mind the ribbing as much as you think, sis. I really think he even likes it sometimes... Oh, and number 6, we give him books."

"Shine does that," Bakugo said.

"Shine is part of 'we'," Camie replied.

"It's true that, considering what he did to start off with," Sai said, "they have been incredibly generous. Why do words matter so much, Sakura? We're teammates and friends because you and Naruto let me stay on even after I was assigned to betray you--at least on the surface--and you talk to me the same way as they do with Sasuke."

"Ha." Kankuro thought that was funny.

"Ahem," Jakku interrupted them.

They all looked at him.

"Out of curiosity," Jakku said, "what did this Sasuke do that was bad?"

"Wait...you didn't know?" Ino said.

"Come to think of it," Tenten said, "this has been the only Village so far that has not asked us why he's with us...or even noticed him at all."

Then they all realized it: Rain Village was too isolated from the world to know who Sasuke was by sight.

Likely they had not even heard of him, as their news of the war seemed to have been very limited. They hadn't know Gaara's age, so why would they know Sasuke Uchiha?

"Should I?" Jakku asked.

No one wanted to tell him.

"Sasuke got into some trouble," Kankuro said diplomatically. "So he's not popular in the team. But he's still one of us. That's all you need to understand about it. The rest of it is our business."

Jakku didn't press further after that.

"Wow...Kankuro, that was so cool," Camie said. 

"I admit, while I had my doubts about him being included " Kankuro said, iIt doesn't mean that everyone else talking s--t about him is going to help us. There's such a thing as respect even when you don't like someone."

"There you are," Tenten said to Sakura. "See? I mean, really, what more can you ask for? Sasuke is a jerk, so this is about all I'd ever expect anyone to do for him. Actually, I wouldn't have done this much if it were me. Show some gratitude."

Sakura sighed. "I just wonder if he's gotten so worked up lately because of feeling like none of you accept him." [Passing the buck a little there, aren't you?]

"You're sure that's what would do it?" Ino said. "Not all the other things? I just don't think he's ever cared what we think... Sakura, just admit that the thing that bothers Sasuke runs a lot deeper than just us Leaf... I don't think it's that that's causing him so much trouble. He's got a lot worse to deal with than our dislike. For me, it's more of a neutral feeling now than dislike."

"I still don't like him," Sai said helpfully.

"Thank you, Sai," Sakura said sarcastically.

"You're welcome," Sai said with his weird smile.

Camie and Bakugo snickered.