[OP: "Exeunt"--The Oh Hellos]

Sakura was a little miffed at her--for a second--but then she realized that Shine probably had no agenda...

So she must really just think this...

And she wasn't even saying Sakura was the problem...just that she didn't get it.

That was nicer than expected.

So Sakura was far more civil than usual when she answered her:

"Maybe you're right," she said. "Maybe it is a lot of work. But, if you care about Sasuke, surely you think he needs someone who will do that for him."

"I do," Shine said. "And that I can't be here forever to protect him from the consequences of his actions. Nor should I. And I would like to have you as my ally in this situation. I know no one else is as committed to Sasuke's welfare as you are, not now. Even Naruto isn't. But I could not ask you to do this if I think it would hurt you. I'm not that kind of person, and it's not right. So if I had your help, I would need to know now you will do this in a way that won't hurt yourself. If you let Sasuke treat you however he wants, he will never learn anyway, and he'll stay the same--miserable...and if you make yourself a doormat, he will never learn. If you have no self respect, you won't be able to help him. That's the problem. You beg him for his attention when you should just tell him the truth."

"I did tell him the truth," Sakura protested. "Hey, you're not the only one who told him revenge was a bad idea."

"I know, but you caved in also, didn't you? Offered to help him... That's not good. To love someone is not that. You have to tell them that, if they do the wrong thing, you will not stand aside and let it happen. It helps me to keep this in mind: Someone doing the wrong thing is going to hurt them more than anyone else in the long run. It could land their soul in hell or ruin their mortal life. So when I stand in their way, I'm not hurting them--I'm keeping them from being hurt worse. I wouldn't go that far, mind you, but there are those who have to, and that's how they make peace with it."

Sakura couldn't help but notice that was one of the only times Shine had actually spoken to her like she was capable of understanding anything.

It kind of felt good... Maybe this was what Sasuke like about her.

She rubbed her hands together. "I'll think about it, okay? I have to decide if I think you're right about him...or me. But before I accept that, you have to tell me--how much do you really care about him? Because I think if it's only vaguely, because this is the 'right thing', I'm just not sure that enough."

"I don't think you can quantify it that way," Shine said. "But I suppose it's only fair to answer your question, and I really hope he can't hear me right now, since it would be a disaster if he did..." She rubbed her face in a tired way. "I pitied him the first time we met. And something about him stuck in my memory even though I knew I couldn't do anything for him then. All throughout the war, I hoped I'd get a chance. I'm like that. I can't let things like that go so easily. I wouldn't call it liking him--he was quite the little pill then, and he infuriated me by hurting my own students. But I knew I wouldn't forget about Sasuke either... He's hard to forget, whatever else he is."

Sakura could attest to that.

"After the jail visit, I knew I was starting to feel a little less annoyed by him," Shine said, "but once we were on the road, he began to really grow on me. I am supposed to love every one of you since it's the right thing to do. And I make that choice...but, naturally, you want to know if I have any human affection also...and the answer is I do. Somehow he's the sort of person who inspires that kind of feeling from you--if you're not a total sociopath, anyway. I mean, it's pity, partly, but it's not only pity. Sasuke and I have some common personality traits, whether you see it or not. I was a lot like him when I was a teenager. I'll be generous to myself and say 'was'." She laughed wryly. "I questioned the system, and I questioned the people closest to me too, and I always had a hard time with love. And it made me angry too. I changed a lot after I met Jesus... but that rebel is still in me, and I think it always will be. At least while there's enough evil left in the world to rebel against. I believe Sasuke responds better to me because I am like that. All the rebel people in my team do. Rebels tend to like each other. We feel a kinship."

She shrugged a little wryly. "That's not to say it's wrong to not feel that need to kick at the goads. You're not like that, and it's not bad, but it is different. Maybe he needs to know there were people who could feel what he felt but not turn evil...though I'm sure I could have, if I was taught different."

"That almost makes sense," Sakura said. "I suppose I didn't see the resemblance before, but maybe there is one. And you're right, I'm not like that. I'd rather think well of my home."

"Which is okay, Sakura...if you're not excusing things that should never be excused. And I always thought Sasuke would likely respect your opinion of Leaf more if you just admitted more often that it has made mistakes. And if you were willing to fight if it did again."

"I might be," Sakura said. "If I had to...but there's usually another way, I think."

"I agree--usually, but not always. And if the other way is to compromise when you shouldn't, then I would have to pick fighting."

Sakura couldn't find a real problem with that.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I see why Sasuke prefers you now... I don't like it, but...you sound more like what he's been after for a long time. You know, maybe I should be grateful you're the one who found him after the war and not someone else...but I still wish he just wanted to be with us."

"Sakura...listen, again, I understand this better than you might know," Shine said, "but as someone like Sasuke who has felt that need to shake things up and to go my own way, I'll tell you what people like us really need most: Support in doing that if it's justified. Wally and I had some rough patches when he and I didn't agree about how much to push the envelope, but we've worked it out now so that he lets me do what I need to do, unless I start crossing over into actually getting too angry. Then he stops me. Maybe you've noticed that..."

Sakura did remember a few times.

"That works for me." Shine shrugged. "I know I can go too far... Who doesn't know that? The thing I'm putting to your consideration is this: If Sasuke does recover from not just this but all of this, it's likely he will even stop being that person who's kind of a rebel...at least I hope not. That's how he is, and it's who he's supposed to be. No one is that way for no reason, depend on it. He'd do it the wrong way, but if he did it the right way, he might not be any more liked for it. And since you already don't really seem to understand why he has issues with the shinobi way of life...I can assume he doesn't think you'd understand it even if it was legitimate. Do you see the problem?"

"You mean that...if there really was something that needed to be stopped," Sakura said slowly, "and I wasn't for that...that's not going to be any different than...before."

"No...in fact it would be worse, because if he knew he was right instead of wrong, he would respect it even less if someone else didn't understand it," Shine explained. "I know this about him, and I have made sure never to tell him not to feel things are wrong when they are. And I know I would not respect anyone who told me that...and people have told me that, to be clear, and they've lost my respect immediately. So I know how it works. He would pity you at best... Do you want that?"

"No." Sakura knew that was not what she wanted.

"Then either you have to grow to his level...or he'd have to lower it. But you know, anything you like about Sasuke will die if his one enduring good trait, which is that he cares about justice, dies first. You won't recognize him anymore... I believe that he nearly got to that, after killing Danzo. You didn't even recognize him then."

Sakura shuddered. "That was...but...well...I feel like what you're suggesting will likely lead to me getting into trouble at some point."

"Yes...it will." Shine stood up to stretch. "As it has with us all so far...but you're still here, so you must be a little willing to risk that. But are you really to risk it forever? To go through life knowing that it may come to this again? Think about it. As the Bible says, don't set out to build something if you haven't counted the cost. For us, the cost is worth it, and all this suffering is not worthy to be compared with the reward of seeing things turn out right. But if it's not for you, you need to know that as soon as possible..."

"So I should go home if it's not?"

"Go home or see this through, I really don't care. But know yourself," Shine insisted. "If you know yourself, then know your limits. And if you've reached them, you can exit with dignity...no need for us to make you do anything then. And I'd rather not have to call it for you if it's clear you can't call it yourself. So I'm giving you the chance to decide now...before things heat up again. And they will... They definitely will heat up again, if we stay in this world a long enough time, Sakura. Always, it always happens, like clockwork." She stood up. "I'm going to change clothes and grab some food. You some get some rest. I can send one of the others in here to watch him for now."

Sakura nodded slowly. 

* * *

Left to themselves for most of the day, the people who weren't on a project right now played games, or tried to catch up on reading.

Camie had an impromptu dance party and introduced the girls to more "oldies" music, which would have been modern music for Shine. [Which is us, readers. Just to keep reminding everyone that MHA is set in the future.]

Camie had a thing for some Avril Lavigne, Taylor Swift, John Legend, and Marshmello, not in any really particular ranking of who was the best.

While this was going on, Momo was trying to find some kind of pretext for how to deal with Sasuke's problem by studying her Bible and other texts...but so far nothing had stood out to her that would help.

"I wish I had Shine's years of experience at times like this," she sighed. "She can just call it up from memory, any number of examples... I have to do it the hard way."

"I never thought you would say reading was the hard way," Dabi said. "But I got nothing... Where'd Snowflake go?"

"Not out, I hope," Momo said.

It was still raining--really, it should never have stopped at all; they just had a weird first few days.

"I wish I could talk to him," Momo sighed. "But...I don't know what to say."

"You couldn't have done anything." Dabi surprisingly was sympathetic. He turned a page in his own book. "You know that, right?"

"I could have. I just didn't..."

"Well, I stopped you, so get mad at me."

"Maybe you were right," Momo said. "But now I don't know... What if Sasuke using his Sharingan kills him...? Would you feel guilty?"

"I would...believe it or not...but you can't say we made him do it--just we didn't step in. He could have backed out."

"We both know he would have done that."

"I know..." Dabi sighed. "Well, he'll be fine. I'm sure he'd never die from a little pneumonia or whatever he has."

"I wish we knew, but Sakura even ran some tests, and she says she doesn't think it's that, at least not a normal kind... It has to be part of his powers," Momo said. "But prayer didn't do anything for him... Shine thinks we're not specific enough, that we need to know what the root cause is...and I can't find anything that would tell me. It's like we need someone who could read minds!"

Ino looked up from where she'd been sorting through dried ingredients for more medicinal tea--Sakura had asked her to do that, since she was familiar with treatment...or because Sakura didn't want to do it herself.

"I'm sure the answer will come sooner or later," Dabi said. "We didn't get him all the way to Rain Village just to lose his because of his own stupidity, I would think. Cheer up, you're making me feel more depressed." He coughed. "Ugh, I need more cough syrup."

"Sorry, but, I didn't bring that much..." Momo said. "I wrote home to ask for more, but it hasn't gotten here. I didn't think you'd need more than a few doses."

"I never get over this kind of thing fast... Glad to know some things are still the same even after my divine makeover," Dabi said sourly.

"I guess it would be odd if everything was different," Momo attempted to put a good spin on it.

"Momo, I think Shoto is just downstairs," Ino offered. "I saw him go that way. Maybe he was just going to watch the window, though I doubt anyone is going to come in."

"Oh..." Momo said.

"You know, uh...I think maybe you should just talk to him." Ino tugged her bangs. "The longer you wait, the more afraid you're going to be. And if he cares about you, he'll try to meet you halfway. This silence is not going to help."

"You know, you're right." Momo got up. "I think it's time..."

She walked away from the doorway.

"Dabi, I need to ask you something," Ino said. "And don't think too hard about why I'm asking, just answer."

"Okay..." Dabi said.

"Do you know of any spiritual thing that has to do with being able to sense people's emotions?" Ino asked. "It's something that happened while I was in Stone Village, with those thieves...and it happened again when they attacked our company, and I've never felt feelings that strongly before when I used my jutsu. Usually it's willpower. But it was like I was them, almost, for a moment."

"I don't know--" Dabi began.

"Almost sounds like kything," Bakugo cut in. He must have been listening... He was avoiding the Camie-music party. They didn't have a lot of the same taste, so unless she put on some Skillet or Thousand Foot Krutch, he was out.

"Kything?" Ino said.

"It's a made up thing." Bakugo took out A Swiftly Tilting Planet. "In this book series they called it kything when they can sense someone's emotion or go into their minds, in a way... It's not mind reading so much as it's telepathy, but deeper. And one of them can go within other people in a way, not physically, but his soul and theirs can connect for a short time. Shine's told us that they met someone who had that, but it was like a curse...but here it's just a tool. A gift." [He's wrong about it being made up. Kything is a real word for communicating with an object, but was used in the books to mean spiritual telepathy between living beings. Its literal meaning is "to make visible"--Celtic origins.]

"That does sound exactly like what I experienced," Ino said. "But what is that?"

"I dunno what the real version of it would be. This is just a book...I think..." Bakugo said. "But if it's a real gift, it's dangerous. If the person dies while someone is kything with them, they can die too or at least be hurt. And they can get attacked by the same stuff as the person, inside, not just outside. Like spirits and stuff."

"Check and check," Ino said. "So this is the real thing I can do...my clan can do. Only, like I said, I never sensed any emotions so strongly before. I sensed them a little, but not the way I did then."

"You've got more power than you're used to, with our...upgrades we get," Dabi said. "All of us do, but we don't know how to use it. At least I don't. I dunno how to call on it for my gifts. Blasty doesn't either. Momo's got her healing, and Camie's got...whatever that thing she's got now is. Shine's got Insight and Wisdom and Knowledge. Wally's got...gee, what would his be...? Encouragement maybe?"

"Ey, something like that," Bakugo said. "Probably faith too, I'm guessing, since he's not a coward."

"Faith?" Ino said.

"There's a list of spiritual gifts in the good book," Dabi said. "Wow...I sound about 80 years old saying that. But anyway, they don't all just mean the face value. Faith doesn't only mean for you to believe in something. It can mean you can do miracles or something like that because you believe they're possible. Prophets don't just know the future--it can also just be knowing stuff that you shouldn't be able to know. And there's teaching and other gifts like that. And there might be more that's not listed in there, and you guys have this super spiritual world, more than ours. So all your stuff is out there in the open."

"Yeah, you're really on that spiritual stuff here," Bakugo said. "Maybe that's why yours is so strong now that you've got the right source. I don't know what that s--t is either. Shine probably would. But yeah, it is. You'd better learn to control that, because it looks like you could get in some deep s--t if you don't. Gifts can be dangerous too. Like once this prophet cursed at these kids and bears ate them. Not clear if that was God or just that his gift was real powerful."

"Wow..." Ino said. "That's...scary... I'm kinda glad mine's not that, then."

"You can have more than one," Dabi said. "We just only know one of ours mostly. Shine and Wally know more than one of theirs, I'm sure. We're all too new to this. I don't know what Bakugo's is... Is anger a spiritual gift?"

"Shut up," Bakugo grumbled. "Maybe yours is being a preacher because you like to talk so much."

"Not funny," Dabi said. "That sounds Iike the worst possible thing for me."

"Careful, sometimes that means it's your calling," Bakugo said to get at him.

Ino felt this way getting off subject.

* * *

https://youtu.be/g7pnibcd9r4

["I'll Stand By You"--Carrie Underwood]

Shoto had been staring at the rain for a while... He had so many dismal ideas running through his head.

"Shoto?" Momo came in. "Is...? Are you...okay?"

Shoto tended to just burst like a pipe when he finally admitted to how he felt.

So, without so much as a warning, he just turned toward Momo and said in a very upset tone:

"I feel responsible for this. I lost my temper yesterday... If I hadn't pushed Sasuke like that, he probably wouldn't have used his powers... If he dies over using them, it will be my fault. I should have stopped when I saw he was serious...but I didn't. I've mulled it over, and...I could have caused a lot of this to begin with..."

He sighed. "It's no use... I really did actually act like my father. I stop thinking about what other people's risks were and just thought of my anger."

Momo didn't know how to take this sudden burst of self blame and what sounded like a dangerous amount of guilt.

She clasped her hands together and shook her head.

Shoto looked at his hands. "It sounds cheap now, but I realized that I've been causing trouble for this entire mission, and the first one too. And everyone has tried to warn me--even my brother tried...and I was too stupid to listen. It's pathetic now to regret it just because he could die...but I didn't want him to die. I never wanted for it to go that far. I didn't want that on my hands, I just wanted him to...but of course I couldn't do anything to help, and that's led to me causing something far worse than I thought."

"I know you didn't want him to die," Momo said quietly. "I never thought that, truly. To leave maybe, but not to die. I know you wouldn't want anyone to die."

Shoto was barely listening to her. "My actions made this happen. I should have just taken the loss rather than fight just out of pride... When will I ever stop doing this?" Now he was slightly frantic. "I do this again and again and again, and I never realize it when it's gone too far--"

Momo couldn't take any more of this. She came up behind him and threw her arms around his waist--this was not a romantic gesture at the moment, of course. She just wanted him to stop beating himself up.

Shoto did stop, a little stunned, and then he looked down. [Anime characters also stop talking when people hug them, ever notice that?]

"Shoto, please," Momo said quietly, leaning on his torso. "I know...you feel bad, but please, don't talk about yourself like that. It hurts to hear it."

Shoto felt he was going to cry now...and he'd been holding it in for a while anyway.

"I'm...sorry," he said, "for not listening to you more and for avoiding you and everything... It was really foolish, and I can't make excuses for it now. I was just...being willful...and...proud."

"It's okay." Momo straightened. "I know you're sorry... I know you were sorry before, honestly... I just couldn't talk to you about it because I thought I would make things worse...but I shouldn't have left you alone to deal with something like this. I'm sorry too..."

"You don't have a reason to be sorry," Shoto insisted, taking her shoulders. "Please don't apologize to me... I wish you'd just punch me or something, actually... I was awful to you about this...and I only realized it now because it's too late for me to do anything about it, which makes it worse... If I'd listened to you when it would have made difference..."

He looked away.

Momo gently put a hand to his face. "It makes a difference to me," she said quietly.

Shoto did cry then...silently.

Momo hugged him again.

[Reii's fan art of sad Shoto and Momo hugging.]

However, she wasn't as upset as he was though...because, after so many weeks, she had the distinct feeling deep down that, whatever else needed to be said, the issue was mostly resolved.

She felt like Shoto had finally given up clinging to his resentment so tightly now... With him it always only took a short time, once he started to realize his mistake, to adjust... She almost thought if he just would see it that way, he would be fine.

But she expected he would probably berate himself for this for a long time...and she felt useless that she couldn't do anything about that...but at least he was talking to her again. Maybe it was selfish, but that made her feel a little better about the situation...though she didn't feel happy about Sasuke being out of it--she wasn't that petty.

Shoto didn't want to stand there for long though. He tried to calm himself down. "I..."

"You don't have to apologize anymore," Momo interrupted. "It's okay... I'm not angry, I mean it."

"I know," Shoto said finally. "You're being way too forgiving actually."

"I disagree," Momo said, a bit firmly.

Shoto had started to settle finally, but then he frowned again. "If there was something I could do to make it right, at least I would feel less like I ruined everything again."

"You didn't ruin everything... I'm not just making excuses for you--it's still not your fault," Momo said.

"But, Momo...answer me honestly, it is partially my fault, isn't it?"

He sounded desperate.

"No--" Momo began.

"Momo...please...I need to hear the truth."

In his own way...maybe he was just as much someone who needed to know people could stand up to him as Sasuke was.

Momo didn't want to say it, knowing how bad he would feel if she did...but she pursed her lips.

She was a little more honest than his sister or even his mother might be about his responsibility, even as sweet as she was. It was one of the reasons Shoto liked her so much...and she knew he wanted her real opinion.

She liked that...but she disliked it when her real opinion couldn't be as happy as she wanted.

But finally she said, with difficulty, "It...it is a little bit your responsibility. It was his choice, but...well, some fault is on you for starting it...but that doesn't mean you caused the Curse or his anger, or anything like that, all by yourself. I really hope you aren't going to take full responsibility for it."

"Even partial responsibility means that I need to do something to help," Shoto said.

"Shoto...what could you do?" Momo sighed. "I mean, if you could do anything, I would say to do it, yes, but...you're not a medic."

Shoto suddenly got a strange look. "Not normally, but...I wonder... Where is Shine? I think I need to ask her something."

"You too?" Ino suddenly startled them.

They both turned.

"I wasn't spying on you." Ino held up her hands. "I just came down here to see if Shine was here, but she's not... Maybe she's with Sasuke right now then. I have this idea...but I don't know if it's crazy or not."

"Well, your timing is perfect then," Shoto said, seriously. "Because I also have an idea. I don't know if it will amount to anything, but I'm going to ask her about it."

"I haven't seen Sasuke since last night," Momo said. "How bad is he now?"

"The last I saw he was sleeping fitfully, and it seemed more like a fever dream than a really restful one," Ino said. "I don't know now--that was hours ago."

"I hope he's not in such a state that it will be disturbing to..." Momo pursed her lips. "Well, if we must, we must."

"You don't have to--" Shoto began.

"No, I want to help." Momo took his hand. "We can try at least, right?... Besides, if you help him, it will be much easier to explain to him that you never meant for this to happen when he comes to."

Ino raised an eyebrow at Momo for saying such a thing that didn't seem quite like her, but Shoto just nodded like he took it dead seriously.

* * *

Sakura had only taken a brief break earlier, but then Karin had called her, and Shine back.

There'd been a change. Sasuke was still out, but he was moving more...as if he was fighting in whatever dream he was in.

"I called you because his chakra is still spiking weirdly," Karin said. "But it's more now... I'm...starting to get worried that, if this keeps going..."

"What?" Sakura asked.

"Well...the human body can only stand so much stress," Karin said. "For a young person, usually that's...not life threatening to be strained for hours and hours, though it's not good, but...uh...I can say that, again, the treatments Orochimaru did do take a toll on people's systems..."

"You mean it could put a strain on his heart," Shine guessed quickly enough. "Or his nervous system."

"The two are connected," Karin said. "And so is the chakra network--in us anyway." Nodding to the fact that Shine didn't have one.

"Well, our spirits and our bodies are also connected. I think I understand," Shine told her.

"Then you can imagine what a constant strain on it would do," Karin said. "He could...well...too much stress can be deadly."

"But Sasuke has never crumpled in times of stress," Sakura said. "He's had...well....issues, but they were more mental."

"That's the other thing I want to tell you." Karin shoved her glasses up. "I'm not entirely sure it's not mental. He does seem to be dreaming something...and the energy...it's reminding me more and more of the Sharingan. Like the feel of it again. The chakra is really dark. And it is around his head, too."

"So...like the Mangekyo?" Sakura said.

Shine slapped her thigh. "Ah...well..I told him I wouldn't tell anyone, but...I think this situation might be enough of an emergency to bypass that. Just don't tell too many other people, all right? But, some time ago, Sasuke was having nightmares."

"I knew that," Karin said.

"I didn't." Sakura frowned.

"He didn't want anyone to know about it. They were pretty intense. He was waking up in a cold sweat, and once he woke up and he still thought he was in it," Shine said. "I was able to calm him down and get him out of it... That was the only time Sasuke ever reached out to me for help. The nightmare seemed to have bypassed his usual pride and resistance to being helped, which can only mean it was terribly realistic... I'm not even sure it was nightmare only. To me it was like his Sharingan was turning on itself. Now that he isn't using against others, well...powers like that don't like to rest. If they aren't being used on one person, they will turn against their user. I've seen it before."

"Well...that's...disturbing." Sakura wasn't sure what to think. "And the same thing now... But you said you stopped it at the time, so why can't you stop this?"

"I've tried," Shine said. "But I don't know what he's really experiencing... The thing is, at least before I knew. He could still tell me, and he asked for help, which is a big thing. The way he acted before this started, he was practically giving it an open invitation to torment him further...and then, the body is important. If your body is weak, your spirit will often be weaker too. We're both, you see. So this temperature he's running, it's part of the problem. I can't reach him with so many things in my way...not to mention he broke his word to me when he used that attack on Shoto... That doesn't help."

"What? So you're just petty?" Sakura said.

Shine gave her a terrible look.

"Sakura!" Karin was aghast. "How did you get that out of what she said?"

Sakura rubbed her forehead. "I...sorry, okay. I just... No, I know that's not what you meant. My instinct was to assume the worst because of before...but I just don't understand."

"It's like this," Shine said, with more evenness, "the spiritual realm has rules, just like the physical realm does. If you drink poison, it's going to affect your body. Even if you don't die, it's not a good idea. Same thing with doing things you shouldn't, spiritually. And just like how some things you eat or drink can mix badly with other things or make you not tolerate medication, so things you do spiritually can make you not tolerate help. There are laws to this. And broken trust and promises are a big thing to avoid in the spiritual. Words are powerful. Why do you think you shout out your jutsus? It's not just to show off. Your things are spiritual, and your words make them stronger."

"I've never thought of that," Karin said. "I've never heard anything like that."

"I...we don't have time to talk about it right now," Sakura said. "The point is...so you can't help."

"No, it's not that I can't," Shine said. "It's that he's probably resisting it...somehow. Subconsciously. I wouldn't refuse, but...I don't know how to change this when he's not awake... This feels like it was planned, really..." She frowned darkly.

Sakura shivered. Shine talking like this was freaking her out. She never seemed fazed by anything.

"Excuse me." Ino and the other two came in. "Can we talk?"