[OP: "Bitter Water"--The Oh Hellos]

Day 50:

By dawn, Sasuke was much worse than he had been before.

His temperature was high enough to cause delirium. Before, they'd had hope it was just the initial shock, but now he was completely out of it. He didn't seem to know any of them were even there anymore.

He did talk to unseen people, but his words were pretty slurred, so it was hard to tell if the visions were significant or if they were just the confusion of the illness with no clear meaning.

Sakura was worn out since she hadn't slept a wink all night, but worse, she felt guilty. She wasn't convinced that she hadn't brought this on.

But they'd been so quiet about moving him that half the team Zoe didn't even know what happened till they were getting up and getting ready for breakfast.

"Yo," Camie said. "I just realized--where's Sakura, Karin, and Shine?"

"Probably still taking care of Sasuke," Ino yawned. "They gave me a reprieve since they said they didn't need all 4 of us."

Momo rubbed her yes. "Me too, but I didn't sleep well anyway. It was too awful to think about it."

"What are you talking about? It's just a little cold," Kankuro said, confused.

"Huh? Oh, you don't know." Ino sat up more. "Sasuke went out in the rain last night. He still had a fever at the time, and he gave himself something a lot worse. Well, we're not even sure it's just physical, actually, for what Karin was saying, but that didn't help. He's really sick now."

"Like...really really?" Camie said.

"I'll put it this way," Ino said, "Sakura's been a medical ninja for a few years now, and I've never seen her that unsure of herself."

"Normally for Sakura that wouldn't mean much, but with the medical stuff usually she's more competent," Dabi admitted. "Wow, so he wanted to catch his death for real, huh? Why would he do something so stupid?"

"I don't know," Ino said. "Sakura said maybe it was something she and Karin said, but I really don't think that's it. Shine thought it was probably the fight he had since he used his Sharingan... They think that has something to do with it. This is all very new to me. I've never learned anything about this kind of medicine before."

Shoto had frozen in place when they started talking about this, and now he shot them a very disturbed look.

No one noticed except for Momo.

"Wait, so are you saying that Sasuke's really in danger?" Naruto had finally understood. "Or is it just he'll be in bed for a few days?"

"He'll be in bed for a few days either way," Ino said. "And I don't know if he's in danger. He's pretty strong normally, but Karin was explaining that the stuff Orochimaru does can take its toll even if you're strong."

"Why's everyone so somber?" Tenten wondered. "None of you like Sasuke."

They all looked at her.

"Tenten," Momo began.

"No, she's got a point." Kankuro pulled up his hood. "It is kinda funny that you're all taking this so hard. A lot of people would say the world is better off without him if he takes himself out by doing stupid things like that."

"Kankuro!" Gaara was even angry at that. 

"I'm not saying that's what I think," Kankuro said, holding up a hand. "I get it, he's still a member of the team, and, like him or not, we're supposed to take care of him. But I wouldn't go around telling people about this either. And if he does bite the dust, you can't get your hopes up about people taking it that hard in Leaf Village."

"Gee, thanks, Kankuro, that's very comforting," Camie said. "I'm a little worried about him, honestly. I mean, he's such a pick, but he's our prick...like a really grumpy cat."

"A cat is his spirit animal," Bakugo said. "Not a snake."

"I'm proud that you just used the spirit animal joke," Camie said. "But this isn't funny. Geez, I've never seen anyone die because of an illness. That would be so...like...tragique."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Momo said. "Sakura is a prodigy, and Karin is very good at healing people. And Shine has a lot of spiritual knowledge. I'm sure they'll find some way to heal him. We both should ask them if they need any help...and, uh...someone should deal with the Rain Village people today."

"Well, Shine already told me that we'll have a little extra time to prepare because someone is sick," Gaara said. "I'm sure if they're informed he's gotten worse, they'll be understanding...but also we can't put this off forever here. We need some kind of plan, and Shine has all the ideas."

"Shine will be busy watching Sasuke," Temari declared. "You know her. West, what do you think?"

"Me?" Wally pointed at himself. "Oh...well, before this whole thing happened, Shine and I were talking about a way to maybe get the Village economy on track...Did you learn something about it from the factories?"

"Right." Temari took out a notebook she must have had with her at the time. "I drew some kind of diagram for this... I mean, I've reviewed our Village economy plenty of times so it wasn't that difficult. I'll use simple words since Naruto is here."

"Hey!" Naruto said.

Temari held up the page to show them the picture. "Basically, it looks as if Pain kept this place going by outsourcing their need for supplies to the Akatsuki, and they would get stuff from the Villages they were hitmen for, since that was how they paid bills. Stone Village was one." She frowned. "But that one is out. However, there's lots of small Villages around the land of Fire and, I hate to say, Wind and Water too--none for Cloud. Must have been too far away or too mistrusting."

"But smaller Villages wouldn't be under the Kages' authority anyway." Ino held up a hand. "I mean, they are, but we don't watch them closely."

"Yes, but even the smaller villages in Cloud always prefer to be pretty exclusive," Temari said. "That's why no one ever got as far as that Village before. The point is, we can rule them out. However, Rain Village traded the supplies they made here through those villages at a discount price. They're way ahead of us in processing things. Anyone other than Leaf wouldn't be so far advanced."

"I'd say, based on what we've seen, even Leaf isn't as advanced," Gaara said.

"I have to admit, the paper they showed us was higher quality than I've ever seen," Temari acknowledged. "And they have some other working factories too. They process rice and cloth...could be where the Akatsuki got their cloaks. I can't think of anyone else who'd make something so obviously branding them as a terrorist."

"They were well made," Tenten had to admit begrudgingly. "But Pain isn't around now, so how would they outsource?"

"Well, maybe they'd still be willing to do business," Wally said. "If we could get them to order stuff again...only Rain can't pay for it right now, so it would have to be an investment, and they'd want to know there would be a return... Without Pain to ensure it, they might not have a lot of confidence in this Village."

"Wow, I'm impressed," Momo said. "You really thought this out."

"Oh, that was mostly Shine," Wally said modestly. "But she thinks if Gaara backs it, there's a good chance that they'll do it. Especially if the first is the land of Wind. Then if the Village can make its stuff and get that going, then they won't need his help. They can build a name for themselves...but that would take months to years, probably. Still, to get the ball rolling, you just need a contract."

"The nice think about this idea," Momo said. "Is that it would not tax our resources too much from Sand Village. They can't support Rain's economy with gifts. It would never work."

"So...the goal is entrepreneurism?" Dabi said. "Wow...how American."

"It's not just American," Bakugo grunted.

"But he's right. This is a very us solution," Wally said. "Do you guys have stocks here?"

"Uh...no..." Temari said.

"Right. Stocks are when you buy a piece of property from someone, like a business or an intellectual property like a story or movie, and when they make money off it enough to pay you back, they give you interest also," Wally explained. "So you get more money than you spent. It's like a loan."

"Then just say that," Tenten complained.

"Sorry, people like the stocks thing better," Wally said. "Though it's kind of a questionable system in some ways, but for this it could work. What if the other villages were to buy shares or something in their product and run their supplies through here? I mean, Leaf use special paper, right?"

"I do." Sai put his hand up. "And theirs might be better than mine."

"Right so in exchange for that, they get some paper in bulk or something, or they get to run their stuff through Rain Village," Wally said. "And hey, it is closer to all the other villages, so Shine also said they could turn it into a kind of trade post. They could make money off that too..."

"That is just what we could use if we're truly going to be united," Gaara said. "The risk of losing shipments is greater with more bandits out there after the War. A lot of people have been stealing things...and Rain is central to at least three Villages, and it's still at least on the way from Wind to Cloud, if we ever...or Wind to Water. That's not a bad idea. But the problem is that no one trusts this Village, and they would probably think they'd steal the supplies."

"Well, that's another thing," Wally said. "If you make this Village your ally, you could have your own people stationed here to make sure that doesn't happen...if they'd risk it."

Everyone had to think about it.

"I don't get it," Naruto said.

"Future Hokage, everyone," Dabi said.

"I understand," Hinata said.

"Yeah...I mean, it's a good plan," Temari said. "And better than what I would have come up with after hearing how bad it was here...but the idea needs two things: time and trust. Rain has no trust, and it doesn't seem like it has a lot of time."

"But if you make them part of your alliance," Wally said, "others might trust them more...and money talks. If you can convince the Villages that they would get more quality goods if they used this Village, they might risk it. People will risk a lot more on money ventures if they think it'll profit them, and it could make them stronger...plus Rain has other factories that aren't being used right now, but they could make other stuff people want, like weapons... I guess we should really get a list."

"But would Mirai agree to this?" Hanabi asked sensibly. "Even if they thought she would, which they might not, what if they just took the chance to take over Rain? She might not want to let them in."

"Yeah, but it's better than Rain ceasing to exist," Wally said. 

"Our support might help stop that," Gaara said. "If I have not lost credibility..." he winced. "But it isn't guaranteed... I feel that it would be only fair to disclose to Mirai why I may lose influence in the future. If word from Stone spreads around...and then none of this will work. She shouldn't put her hopes on us and then not see any return, not without knowing it was a risk."

"But you don't want to tell her about it," Kankuro pointed out.

"Not when it would be better for her not to know," Gaara said. "But I feel that it would not be fair to offer any of this without full disclosure to her...and we'll have to do it right away because it would take two weeks at least to even process this through Sand Village's legal council. And that's if they agreed to it."

Temari was just happy to see Gaara have a little drive to do anything. "It would be worth a shot..."

"If Leaf could join you on this," Shikamaru said, "it would look better to the other nations...but I can't promise Kakashi will go for it, and even if he does, the elders might step in and try to talk him out of it."

"Those old bags," Bakugo scoffed. "All they ever do is crap like giving Danzo power and promoting the Uchiha massacre. How are they still in charge?"

"You know how hard it is to remove a corrupt politician from power," Dabi said. [Ouch. Too real.]

"Just the same if anything had a chance of working, I would say it's this," Momo said. "Shine is brilliant. What would we do without her?"

"I don't want to know the answer to that," Ino said.

"Then I suppose I must meet with Mirai," Gaara said.

"But we could buy time," Temari said. "If you want to think about this more."

"No," Gaara said. "It would be nice, but, if this is to work, we'll need all the time we can get. A few days more deliberating about it won't help. And if she says no, we'll need to come up with a new plan. Or to leave... I only hope they don't drive us out when they hear the truth."

He didn't sound any more upbeat or convinced than before, unfortunately. Only sure that this was the fair thing to do.

Shikamaru glanced at Temari, and then he said, "Well, Gaara, if that's how it is, I'll go with you to talk to him... I guess I'm technically representing Leaf's government there, being one of the assistants to the Kage sometimes. So it might help."

"Thank you." Gaara didn't seem that touched, but then, he never showed it anyway. 

"I guess I'll go too. You should have guards," Temari said. "Kankuro?"

"I'm not sure this is something I want to go over for the 3rd time," Kankuro sighed. "But good luck."

"Pray before you do it," Wally suggested. "That never hurts. And while you're doing that, I think we should see if Guren's on board with this. She seems like she knows the village well."

"I'll go with you," Naruto said. "I promised Yukimaru I would show him Transformation Jutsu."

"Naruto..." Ino warned.

"Oh, no, not Sexy Jutsu." Naruto held up his hands. "I'm pretty sure Guren would kill me if I did that. It's just regular transformation."

"Phew," Hinata breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

"Good news." Shine joined Sakura while she was watching Sasuke. "The others have decided to move forward with a plan instead of waiting. I thought the extra days might help, but I'm actually glad they're not taking them. Waiting like this makes me nervous."

"Yeah, wonderful," Sakura said sarcastically.

Sasuke was stirring, but he wasn't conscious...just restless.

Shine sat down next to Sakura. "So what happened there?" she asked. "Might as well tell me...and anything could help me figure this out."

Sakura was too tired now to feel worried about Shine knowing about it, so she told her--and, because of her subdued mood, without exaggerating or minimizing it.

"I got Karin's side," Shine said. "Seems she said something very similar to what you did, but probably less angry... Wow, can't believe you snapped finally."

"See, this is why I shouldn't tell you things!" Sakura said angrily. "Go ahead, make fun of me."

"It's not that... Actually, I'm relieved," Shine said.

"You're...what?" Sakura puzzled.

"I always thought you should do it, and I'm not 'capping', as Camie would say," Shine said. "The timing could have been better, but he never should have tried to hit you... It's strange that he'd do that when he was already in trouble for breaking another rule. It's like he thought he might as well seal his fate since he'd gone this far already. Ah, Sasuke, you're so foolish." She looked at him ruefully.

Sakura had thought something about Shine since yesterday--or really she had before, but now she was sure of it.

"You...don't actually dislike Sasuke, do you?" she asked, frowning at Shine. "You told me he was growing on you in Mist, but I thought you were being sarcastic...but you weren't."

"Well, why do you think I would like him?" Shien rubbed her shoulder. "He's never pleasant to me, is he?"

"I've heard that with you that doesn't matter so much," Sakura said.

"By that logic, I could like you too," Shine said.

Sakura frowned. "So you hate me for real, but with Sasuke you're just faking it."

"I'm not faking anything," Shine said. "I treat Sasuke the way I do because I think it's how I should treat him. Whether I like him or not. That's one of the things he doesn't like that I do--and also what he secretly does like. I'm used to bratty children, and I don't let them change my behavior much. So it's easy for me to do it. And I don't hate you--you shouldn't use that word. Dislike is not hatred. Dislike is because you annoy me. Hatred would be I loathed everything you stand for."

"Whatever the difference is," Sakura said, "I don't like either."

"You don't like me either, so why should it hurt you? Usually we only like people if they like us."

"I bet you think it is my fault." Sakura jumped around.

"Oh, please don't do that," Shine said, a bit annoyed. "Making this wild accusation of what I think because you feel guilty. Don't project onto me. I don't like that either."

"What if it was?" Sakura pressed.

"It's not," Shine said. "I'm pretty much certain of that. And I'm not saying that to make you feel better. I really don't think it is your fault. And we all know, I'm 'usually right'." with air quotes.

"Ha ha," Sakura said. "Still, I went off on him while he was feeling bad."

"I doubt he'd have spared any concern for you if the positions were reversed, so don't worry about it."

"Is it fine not to think of something just because they wouldn't for you?" Sakura said.

"No," Shine said. "You're right, it's not. However, in this case, I think your pity for him would be better directed at his own foolish choices, not yours. You know, if you just let him have the responsibility for it, it doesn't give him more power."

"You know what he said to me?" Sakura went on, ignoring that last part. "He said that I don't understand love, or something like that. Just like what you told me...only it sounded a lot more like an insult when he said it--no, it already did. Just a different kind of insult."

"Because he didn't mean it the way I did." Shine folded her arms. "But he may have used my words... If I said that to him, I don't remember."

"He thinks it's a waste of time," Sakura said. "He always did think that...but I told him he was afraid. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why not? It's true." Shine was unceremonious.

"Because it's harsh," Sakura said. "And it doesn't help anything..."

"It might."

"No..." Sakura insisted. "Don't you think that criticizing him doesn't work?"

"And begging him has worked so much better?" Shine replied flatly.

"Maybe not..." Sakura rubbed her temples. "But at least it feels better than being harsh. I know what you think of me...but I didn't want that."

"I know that," Shine shrugged. "Sakura, this has to stop, don't you think? Do you really want to replay this cycle for the rest of your life? Even if Sasuke finally did cave and accept your feelings, is this how it should always be? You begging for some crumb of his attention...and being unhappy all the time. You told me that you told him that love made you more happy than him--I'll give you that, I agree...but your kind of love is only a little happy, isn't it? Mostly it's sadness and pain. Do you think he wants more of that? He's already had so much more than any person could stand without being broken inside by it."

"You mean the massacre," Sakura said.

"I mean that and everything else after it," Shine said. "Until you've experienced it, you can't understand how horrifying Itachi's actions were. Itachi even claimed they were out of love...that sick, twisted, warped, monster of a man." She made a grimace. "I try not to hate, but, as he's dead, I suppose it doesn't hurt much to hate him. I can't kill him again, can I?"

"You hate him?" Sakura said. "But he might just have wanted to protect the Leaf Village."

"No one can or should justify killing innocent children to protect a Village that ordered them to do such an atrocity," Shine said. "They could have negotiated with Uchiha, but they chose to eradicate them. The Uchiha could not help but be more powerful than them...and they are prone to insanity, but you don't poke the angry bear or the rabid dog. If they truly wanted to wipe them out, they should have killed Sasuke too, then, and Itachi also, if they really thought that the Uchiha were just too insane to be safe to live. But not all the Uchiha were like that, and letting two of them get away is proof enough that Leaf never really did it for justice or real concern. They did it for power. From fear. Nothing done for those reasons is ever a good idea."

Sakura swallowed. "You speak of that so intensely, you sound like Sasuke."

"Because Sasuke and I are not in disagreement about this matter," Shine said. "Only in what to do about it. See, I told Sasuke I wouldn't hold everyone in Leaf responsible for what the Elders did. They are evil people, but many in Leaf had no idea why or what happened. You didn't, though you were alive at the time. Naruto didn't... Many children didn't. As far as most of Leaf knew, Itachi just went mad. And he was mad, whether or not Leaf pushed that decision. And what Sasuke may not notice is that Itachi still offered to do it, even if they wanted it to happen. Instead of trying to find other leverage against them, he chose the bloody option. What kind of man does that to his own people? He is no hero."

Sakura winced. "I don't...disagree with that either."

"But I don't blame all of Leaf. If Sasuke had only killed those Elders, I wouldn't even have blamed him," Shine said. "They deserve it. Even Sarutobi, that failure of a 3rd Hokage, who let Orochimaru go and allowed that massacre, deserved to die for it. But Tsunade is not him, and Kakashi is not to blame for it either, so I wouldn't go and punish them for the previous Kages. Sasuke should have known that was not fair--and I believe he did, really, but he didn't care anymore. I hope he's changed his mind about that now, but who can be sure?"

Sakura balled a fist. "Maybe you're right, I don't know what Sasuke went through. I guess he's suffered there too...but isn't it better to move on and try to be happy?"

"Of course it would be," Shine said. "And you can tell someone who broke both legs that it would be better to use crutches and do physical therapy so they can walk again... Does that make it easy or painless to do either? You can tell someone who had a miscarriage that they can try to have another baby... Does that make the fear go away? I can tell you to let Sasuke go, and will that make it easy for you?"

Sakura shook her head. "So that's it then? It's too hard?"

"Sakura, to be honest with you, Sasuke has had more suffering in his short life than most people will have in all of theirs. Though we all have our anguish and our dark days, his are something more than even a normal human being would go through. Those damned powers of the Uchiha and Orochimaru are enough to make sure of that... I believe that God's blessings are still stronger, but that doesn't make the fight easy. It would take a lot to save him, and I always knew that, from when I first met him, to when I talked to him in the jail, to now. I knew the fight for this young man would be one of them most intense I've ever had, and I feel as if I'm just keeping my head above water here."

"You?" Sakura sputtered.

"Oh, it would be nice if you could think it was easy for me, wouldn't it?" Shine said. "Because then you don't have to sympathize with me? Right? But it's far from the truth. Sometimes I want to slap him also...or cry. But I wouldn't put that on him when he can't possibly handle it."

"Put it on him..." Sakura said.

"Yes...this pain of yours, you ask him for help with it, and he maybe should feel sorry...but it's more than he can handle now. If he lets more pain in, he thinks, he'll break. You're right, he's afraid of love. He's afraid that if he ever lets anyone else into his heart ever again, they'll be ripped away like his family was...and he won't survive it a second time--or worse, that he will survive, but in agony. The last several years have been nothing but agony for him anyway. I'm sorry, but your love offering is not enough to take that away."

Sakura started to cry now, she couldn't help it... Then she was quiet about it.

Shine didn't acknowledge it, so at least she wasn't making fun of her weakness.

"Then what do we do?" She asked Shine. "Just give up? If love can't help, then what can?"

"Love can help," Shine said. "It's all that could help him...if he'd let it in. But, Sakura, love is not always feelings and words of affection. Love is putting someone's needs before yours. Love is like water, when it's blocked up one way, you can open another way for it...or you can drown in the pressure of it being cut off. It's up to you."

Sakura wasn't even mad at Shine right now... Maybe Shine had never made so much sense to her, actually.

"How would I...open up another way?" she asked. "I mean...hypothetically."

"For me," Shine said, "when I found that pity didn't do any good with the people in my life who don't love me the right way, I withdrew pity, and I distanced myself from them till I thought I could love them without giving them the wrong kind of power. I told them that they had hurt me, and I let them see that there were consequences...but I didn't go out of my way to punish them for it. I just put up boundaries. And I told them that, while I loved them, I could not live that way anymore. But I forgave them also. You have to forgive, but you can't always forget unless the person is repentant, then you can forget. In fact, you should forget as much of what they've done as possible then. But if they are not sorry, then you can't forget, because they will do it again."

Sakura nodded. "Do you think Sasuke is sorry?"

"If he is, it's not in the right way," Shine said. "Because he's turned his guilt inward into self loathing. I always thought so, really, but I'm sure of it after the conversations I've had with him. I believe he was even saying it last night, though he was pretty hard to understand. He thinks it's been too late for him for some time. I'm afraid Tobirama didn't help anything with his story of the Uchiha Curse."

"Do you believe that curse is real?" Sakura asked.

"I think it is real, but I don't think it works the way Sasuke thinks," Shine said. "I think it can be resisted and overcome, like all curses. But it takes a lot of effort, and he's not willing to do it, not yet."

 "Are you telling me to just leave him alone?" Sakura asked. "How can I do that, when he's doing things like this...? I guess I'm a fool for caring anymore, but I can't help it."

"I can believe that, but, Sakura, I think you need to hear this: You will not prove anything if Sasuke likes you," Shine said firmly.

Sakura didn't know why that made her feel cold suddenly...but it did.

"Huh?" she said, strangely.

"I mean it, you won't have won just because he gives in, if he does. He's not going to prove you're worthwhile or that you're lovable or anything like that. And if you're expecting to get that by pursuing him, you'll never be satisfied. I've been there, trust me. You know why Wally and I work? Because Wally likes me the way I am, and he did before I even tried to make him like me. In fact, I didn't try that hard, and it freaked me out that he liked me anyway at first, but now I'm grateful for it. And he didn't have to impress me, though he tried because guys do that anyway, but I was already impressed. And love only works that way, Sakura. Any other way and it won't work, if you try to earn it. Love is not earned, it's given. And don't you give Sasuke your affection because you hope he will understand it?"

Sakura sighed. "Even if he doesn't, what if I can't stop?"

"I'm not really telling you to. I suppose love is what it is. It's hard to kill. But you should be aware that it may never work out in a romantic setting, and you may need to adjust to it being a different kind of love...or if it did work out, which is not likely right now, but if by some miracle it did, years from now, it would only do it if you let it go first. If you can't do that, I'm not sure you have the courage to deal with Sasuke. You realize that if he really trusts you, you would have a part in all of this? All the nightmarish memories, all the pain, all the blame, and all the lashing out he'll do. He may grow out of it, best case scenario, but it will take him a long time to know how to love anyone the right way, and if you want it to be you, you'll pay the price for it. If it's really worth paying, that's for you to decide. Some people find it is...and others decide it's not. But you have never shown as much grit as I would think necessary for this."

She tugged her hair. "But you may change. And I may not know everything about you, I'll give you that. So I'm telling you this as a test. I don't always tell people it's a test, but in your case I think I had better. If you can't do this, you shouldn't be with Sasuke, plain and simple, and no one else is likely to tell you this to your face. Shinobi pass over this subject, I notice, but you'll thank me for it one day, if you accept it."