[OP: "Notos"-- The Oh Hellos]

"Everyone is just crumbling right now," Shikamaru said to Kankuro. "But I am not sure we don't need more of a plan. What if they try to stop us from leaving?"

"I doubt it," Kankuro said. "Trust me, I know when a place wants you gone. This is it."

"Still, there could be an ambush outside."

"Maybe we can dash or portal past the front gate and just go from there," Kankuro said. "But we'll figure that out tomorrow morning. What scares me more is Gaara. That's the most upset he's been in ages--years, even. What do we tell him? It's not even the stoning that's the worst of it, it's the sheer disregard for our efforts. Onoki did us real bad on this one."

"I just don't understand why," Shikamaru said. "What could he hope to gain by allowing this?"

Suddenly, they heard someone knocking on the door.

"That's Kurotsuchi!" Karin cried.

"Is it? I'll kill her!" Bakugo got up.

"Sit down!" Temari shoved him back with wind. "No one do anything stupid... Anyway if anyone kills her, it's going to be me."

"Great attitude, sis," Kankuro said. "I guess I have to be the rational person and answer the door calmly... Still, I'm keeping my puppets ready."

"That'll show her," Dabi muttered.

He followed Kankuro to the door.

Kankuro opened it.

Kurotsuchi didn't seem very happy about being there.

"What is it?" Kankuro said.

"My...grandfather sent me here to deliver a message to you," she said.

"If it's that we should get out, then we're already going to go," Kankuro said. "First thing tomorrow. Unfortunately we had a little medical issue earlier, or we'd be gone already."

"Someone was hurt in that...skirmish?" Kurotsuchi asked.

"If you watched the one-sided near-slaughter that happened earlier, then I really don't know if I should answer that," Kankuro said thinly. "Anything else?"

"The message wasn't about that," Kurotsuchi said, looking more and more nervous. "He said to tell you that he heard what happened, and he's deeply sorry that the village resorted to such methods."

"He heard?" Kankuro rasped incredulously. "He saw it."

"No, he didn't," Kurotsuchi said. "He's older, you know--his sight isn't so clear. He thought your teammates were only giving a speech. We couldn't hear anything."

Kankuro wasn't sure if she was lying or not based on how nervous she looked, but Dabi was.

"What a load of bulls---," he said loudly. "Onoki can hit things with particles, and you're telling me he couldn't see a mob from down the street? If you're going to lie, do it better than that, b---h."

"Dabi!" Kankuro warned. "You can't talk to her that way. She's still--"

"I don't give a d--n," Dabi cut him off. "A dirty liar deserves no respect from me. This twit can go tell her grandad I said that for all I care. Just see what happens the next time you guys try to kill one of us." He lit his hand up with blue flame.

Kurotsuchi backed up.

"We're not going to kill anyone." Kankuro tried to block Dabi's view with his arm. "Don't listen to him. He's unhinged."

Kurotsuchi pursed her lips. "Of course...well, the people will be reprimanded."

"I'll believe that if the moon turns into blue cheese," Dabi called over Kankuro's shoulder.

"Either way, we're still leaving," Kankuro said. "I think you understand why."

"Of...course," Kurotsuchi said meekly.

"You can go now." Kankuro was too mad to not be a little rude even after warning Dabi not to push it.

Kurotsuchi was only too glad to get away.

"The nerve of that guy," Dabi said. "And sending his granddaughter to do his dirty work instead of doing it himself? How disgusting."

"He looks more guilty if he comes himself, I guess," Kankuro said. "But either way, this is unbelievable. He doesn't really think we'd buy that he didn't know what was going on? A child could figure that out."

"Isn't the point more to save face?" Dabi said. "If he denies he knew anything, then he can tell the other Kages he told you that. Then you look petty if you say it was his fault. The heroes do this all the time at home--pretend they don't know what the villains and the rebels are really doing behind the scenes."

"That's...devious," Kankuro said. "Do you really think they're going to use that?"

"Do you really put it past them?"

Kankuro didn't.

Temari sighed. "I knew that Onoki was stubborn, but this is another level. I mean, before the war it would have been easy to believe. I was a fool to think so much could have changed in so few months. But I didn't think he was pretending to agree with Gaara."

"Maybe he wasn't. A man can change his mind more than once," Shikamaru said.

"Just face facts." Bakugo leaned forward, facing backwards in his chair, much to Tenten's annoyance, as she was particular about things like that. "He was turned off by the message. Call it a mistake to tell him, or call it his own hard hard-heartedness, but that's what changed his mind. Still, the fact is, what you really believe is what pisses people off."

"Blasty's right," Dabi said. "It's not the lies people tell about what they think that really bothers them the most, it's the truth."

[Isn't that accurate?]

"Then wasn't all this a mistake?" Shikamaru said. "This proves what I've been saying, that it's just too different... The ninjas will not accept what you believe in, and it would be better to just leave it alone."

Bakugo frowned. "Hey, Cloud Boy, if you knew there was a killer virus going around and you had the vaccine that would prevent it, would you keep that to yourself even if you knew people would say that vaccine was just a hoax?"

"I guess that depends on if I knew if anyone would actually take it," Shikamaru said flatly. "And I know what you're going to say--"

"Then shut up and listen," Bakugo cut him off. "You always talk like you're so smart and you got it all figured out. How many people have you actually saved?"

Shikamaru's mouth dropped open.

Temari sat up, glaring at Bakugo.

Shikamaru then swallowed. "Less than I wished."

"I bet," Bakugo went on, in the same annoyed tone as if he had not said something insensitive. "And you're the man with a plan, aren't you? So if even you can't always save people, how's it make sense to risk not even trying to help them the best you can? It's hard enough even when you're putting in the effort, but if you don't even do that, then you're worse than a lazy prick--you're a coward. Or a selfish a--h---. You want to let the ninja world keep grinding on towards its own destruction by this backstabbing and dark powers s--t? Or you want to do something about it? So what if 9 out of 10 people say you're crazy? Maybe next generation it'll be only 8 out of 10. Maybe it'll be 5 out of 10. Maybe it'll grow till everyone decides to stop doing this crap. But nothing changes if you let them be. So if you let a failure like this make you think it's not worth trying, then you're a moron."

"To add to that--" Momo dried her eyes. "--while I'm no exception to being afraid to tell people what they don't want to hear, it is not for a reward that you do the right thing. You do it because it is right. Even if people won't like it. People will kill you for any number of reasons, Wally and Shine have told us, but it might as well be because you were doing the right thing."

Shikamaru rubbed his neck. "And you're sure it's right? You could be wrong about all of this, and that's why things didn't work out."

"Eh, if you tell someone a math equation that they can't work, does that mean the equation isn't right or that they just don't get it?" Bakugo shrugged. "You can't just be on the fence--either you think this is legit, or it's not. But if it is, not everyone has to get it for it to be the real deal."

"Maybe we could be wrong. We're not infallible," Momo said. "And we're new to this. But Shine's also told us that she'd rather be wrong about this and live her life believing in something that makes her happy and makes her want to be a better person, than be right to be cynical and live in a small and selfish way. And that it's better to think there's hope, and be wrong, then to think there's no hope and be right. One thing allows us to move forward."

"Or, in other words, we have everything to gain if this is true, and nothing to lose if it's not," Dabi said. "While others have everything to lose if they're wrong and nothing to gain. Which is the smarter risk? There's worse things than death. Didn't we talk about this weeks ago? The ninja villages will die out sooner or later, but your future is your own, and you only get one life to worry about it. Do you think this setback is going to matter then? Not that it doesn't piss me off...a lot. But I won't let it ruin my life."

"That's a good point," Momo agreed. "I'm very disappointed, but, my life will go on. I'm sure all of yours will too. This can't be the end."

"But it could be," Shikamaru said. "What if we die because of this, in some way?"

"You could die any day for stupider reasons than this," Bakugo said. "You could die because of your clan, which you can't control. Or your village, which you can't control. Or your powers, which you can't control. You could fall to your death, or break your neck doing some training. Or you could die for something you actually choose. Isn't that what you guys call an honorable death here?"

Silence.

"You know, when he puts it that way, it does seem better," Kankuro admitted.

"It does?" Suigetsu said.

"I mean, this isn't that different from the warrior's death we hold up as the ultimate honor," Kankuro said. "Just a different fight."

"Well, we don't know we'll die," Temari said. "Maybe we'll find some way to turn this around--I can't see how, but who knows?"

Tsunade was listening to their conversation, but she seemed surprised at their resolve.

Suzushi had been listening quietly, and some of them had forgotten he was even in the section of the compound.

"Well, maybe," Shikamaru finally sighed. "I'll have to think about it... But what about Ino? She's really upset. She must have gotten attached to you all."

"That's so sweet," Momo sighed. "I would miss you too...but maybe we don't have to go yet. Perhaps there's something else we can help you with."

"Might as well write to Sand Village now and get an update," Temari reasoned. 

"But...how will do you do that without a hawk?" Shikamaru said. "And you can't ask Onoki for one."

"There are people in Sand who know about this," Temari said. "Matsuri, for one. She's young, but she's reliable. I can give it to her, and she'll pass it on. She'll never have to tell them it wasn't from a hawk."

"Matsuri is that girl we helped you rescue once?" Shikamaru asked.

"Mmmhmm." Temari was taking out a piece of paper. 

"I thought she was a boy," Shikamaru said.

Temari laughed, though weakly. "Gaara actually didn't realize she was a girl either. But my brother wouldn't notice that until someone...blossomed, anyway. If then. His eye is always on politics."

"I knew she was a girl," Kankuro said. "You could tell by how she acted. And the ladies always liked Gaara more, so if one of the kids was going to warm up to him, it would be a girl."

"She's not that much younger than him, is she?" Momo asked. "I remember her. She was in the war too. She must be at least 12."

"No, she's closer to 14-15 now. She was only a few years younger than Gaara," Temari reflected. 

"I always forget that he's only 17 too," Dabi said. "The kid acts old for his age."

"He'll be 18 soon," Kankuro said. "But honestly, I think he barely remembers his own age. We never celebrated his birthday because of..." He paused.

"I see." Momo suddenly remembered about his mom dying when he was born. "I'm sorry."

Temari was silent now.

"As a compromise," Momo said, "what if you celebrated his...you know, spiritual birthday instead? Without any unpleasant memories. I mean...it's just thought. If that wouldn't be too flippant."

"I wouldn't think it would be..." Temari mused. "But that won't be for a while. Didn't you all come in summer ? Or late spring, was it? When did Sasuke run off again?"

"No, that year the Chunin Exams were in summer," Kankuro said. "It was a few months after that, wasn't it?"

"Sasuke's birthday is a few months before Naruto's, I think." Momo remembered this from doing research.

Sasuke had no idea she knew that and cast her a strange look.

"Naruto's is in October," Hinata spoke up quietly.

"Oh...right...so it must have been September or October when he left." Temari spoke as if Sasuke wasn't even in the room--which was a habit they'd all picked up on the trip, since he so rarely spoke to them, and it annoyed him.

"Wait, it's December now," Kankuro said. "Or no, I guess it's January. It's hard to keep track on the road."

"A whole new year started, and you never said anything?" Momo said.

"Wait, if it's January, why is it not colder here?" Dabi asked.

"We're in the western side of the continent," Temari said. "It doesn't snow here usually till after this time...but so far it's been a very mild winter. We probably just beat it in Leaf Village."

"Maybe it's good we're not going to Cloud Village," Kankuro said. "If we had to go that far, the cold weather would hit Stone and Rice before we went back, and it would be way worse traveling. Weather is weird between villages though. I hear it never snows in Rain Village. Not that anyone knows for sure."

"Some climates don't support snow..." Momo said.

"Why are we talking about weather right now?" Tenten asked.

They all looked at her, and then their expressions sobered.

Of course, they'd changed the subject as an intuitive response to stress, but now they remembered why they were upset.

Tenten regretted her words once she saw the result of them.

* * *

Wally and Shine did not go to sleep for quite a while that night. They were talking about what happened. Perhaps it wasn't really getting them anywhere, but they both tended to talk when they were worried.

Shoto didn't develop any symptoms of poison, to everyone's relief, and he said he felt fine.

After checking on him, Wally yawned. "Maybe it is time to call it a night."

"It must be 11 at least." Shine glanced at a clock. "At home I wouldn't be in bed by then, but I've gotten used to sleeping once it gets dark."

"Personally, I never need as much sleep," Wally said. "And I always get a midnight snack, but I think I'm mentally drained... What a day. Good night."

"'Night." Shine kissed him.

He walked away slowly.

Shine felt tired but didn't believe she'd sleep a wink. While she was thinking of anything she'd forgotten to do, it suddenly occurred to her that she'd never even discussed the incident with Sasuke...and he had seemed kind of out of it.

Truthfully, Shine had barely given it any thought. She was the type of person who really didn't understand how to take gestures people do for them beyond the surface level. Though if it had been anyone else, she would have clearly seen why he had acted.

But she could guess it must mean something, and she probably should figure out what.

Sasuke was in his room, but Sai was not. 

"Where's Sai?" Shine asked.

Sasuke barely made the effort to even look up. "I don't know."

"So he didn't come in here?"

"He came and left again. Probably took his drawing supplies or something." Sasuke didn't care.

Shine supposed Sai was likely in one of the buildings. He would be smarter than to go outside to draw after what happened.

She leaned on the wall.

"I never thanked you for earlier," she said. "I suppose I was too distracted by the rock flying at my face and the subsequent events. And I was mad at you for doing exactly what I said not to do, making yourself a target--but it's done now, and I suppose dwelling on it won't help. And I shouldn't be so ungrateful."

Sasuke either had been thinking about this or had other unpleasant thoughts in mind, because he had no snippy retort like she expected. Instead he just sat up slowly as if he had weights on him.

He thought he was going to tell Shine that she was delusional to think he was worried at all, and he'd only done that to show the village they shouldn't dare to attack any group he was in.

Which was what he would honestly have believed was his reason, even two weeks ago.

But as much as he planned to say it, what he said instead was this:

"What were you thinking? Just standing there. You could have gotten out of that."

Shine did not react to his unusual response, though inwardly she was surprised.

"Well," she said, shrugging, "I had my reasons. Even for me that was a difficult situation to get out of. Them holding me in place... I'm not very strong, you know. I talk my way out of things, and that wasn't working. Still, if Onoki hadn't shown up, I think it might have worked, but much as I'm pissed off at him, it won't help now... I take it that whole scene disturbed you. You've never seen anything like that before."

Her concerned tone made Sasuke angry--though why he didn't know.

"I'm used to people's blind hatred," he said. "And cruelty. Don't think for a second that was scaring me."

"I didn't say scared, I said disturbed," Shine said evenly. "You're a sensitive kind of person. I could imagine what that was like."

Sasuke couldn't stand this. "What are you doing, trying to talk to me about that? Are you actually trying to comfort me right now? You're the one who was in trouble! Don't you ever think about your own safety?"

"As much as anyone else does--" Shine began, but Sasuke dared to interrupt her.

"Taking such stupid risks is ludicrous when so many people rely on you," he barreled on, forgetting entirely how out of character this was for him. "You could strand people here forever, and the rest of us--" 

It was then that he remembered he was acting strange and broke off.

But he'd said more than enough for Shine to understand.

And she was really quite flattered. But she wisely kept it to herself.

She felt that acknowledging Sasuke's emotional state right now would be dangerous, if she said the wrong thing. He would likely snap back to his old, sullen self as soon as she touched a nerve.

He was so raw on the inside that anything might set him off.

So she was quiet for a while, and he waited for her to speak and didn't get anything.

Finally, he said, very crossly, "Nothing to say?"

"Were you finished?" Shine replied, stalling.

"I have nothing more to say to you." Sasuke contrived to sound as if she'd insulted him, though she hadn't, by any stretch of the imagination.

Shine considered.

She knew now, after hearing this, what she'd already suspected for a while--namely, that Sasuke was starting to bond with her, whether he knew it or not.

The kid had never had any real mentor figure whom he actually respected or could really talk to, not since his parents died. He'd fought it, but he must have always wished he had it, deep down.

She'd worked to get under his guard, and she must have succeeded more than she knew.

But realizing this didn't make Shine feel extremely confident, like you might expect. She knew that Sasuke's trust was extremely easy to shatter, all the more so if he extended it more fully than he usually did. The price of her methods working with him had always been having more to lose if she did make a mistake. He had not ever learned how to overlook people's mistakes if they were overall reliable. And he wasn't likely to learn it for a long time.

Thinking this, she saw that his anger at her must be fear. If he thought that he was going to lose something as soon as he'd finally started to accept it, he would feel betrayed. He was going to blame her for that because he had nothing else to blame but fate, and that was too uncontrollable.

But he didn't know this about himself, and if she said it outright he would deny it.

Finally, she spoke again:

"Well, you're right that it was reckless."

Sasuke didn't want to hear that he was right. He just made a sound of derision. 

"But Naruto was in trouble," Shine went on. "That boy never listens...but you know exactly how he is. Perhaps I shouldn't have gone up there alone... I can make mistakes, you know. It happens. More than you probably realize. But I didn't want anyone else to take the chance."

"Does it bother you that they all called you a witch and turned on us?" Sasuke was hardly listening to her words.

Shine tilted her head at him. "It bothers me a little, yes. It used to bother me more. I have feelings... But it won't shake my resolve to do what I do. You can't let things like this stop you. People will never all approve of what you do. Do you think we should let that stop us?"

Sasuke had no idea if he thought that...

He was kind of waiting for Shine to ask him why he'd done what he did... By now he'd begun to wonder if it was really for the reason he normally thought.

Well, he hadn't done something like that for years...not since the Chunin Exams or before, when he would step in to save people on occasion. Even then he was never extremely nice to them about it, but he'd been the kind of person who wouldn't just watch people getting killed then.

Then he became the kind of person who just killed people instead, even if they were innocent.

He noticed, in a bitter sort of way, that he'd completely changed and had not even seen it that way till later.

Well, he'd wanted to become a monster, in order to have power...but perhaps he'd always assumed he'd retain the better parts of himself... In fact, he hadn't. They'd all slipped away slowly, and he'd never seen it till much later.

Knowing this had finally started to make him feel ashamed again, which he hadn't acknowledged yet.

Maybe that's why he couldn't take Shine ignoring it. If she'd railed at him over it, he would have been able to bear that, but her quiet acceptance of it was too much. She wasn't angry, and she wasn't surprised, that he could tell. 

It made it as if she always thought he was capable of this--but she had no reason to think that.

Sasuke did not realize that this indicated he was starting to feel unworthy of her kindness, which might have meant he was starting to become more humble--he had no name for these feelings.

He didn't even respond to Shine's question; he didn't care about it. That wasn't why he was upset.

If anything, he actually agreed with her on that. He wouldn't have stopped because of this, and that wasn't what had him spooked.

No...no, he realized, with a sense of horror, perhaps it was that he was starting to get attached... That was what he'd always wanted to avoid. And he'd never thought it would happen, not to these strange people. They were crazy and annoying, and they didn't even like him that much. He thought he was safe from regressing to that weakness of caring about anyone ever again. At least more than as a distant friend.

But the idea of Naruto or Sakura dying had, for a long time now, not really bothered him. And now it only bothered him slightly. [They made it to slightly!]

But that moment when he thought the mob was going to kill Shine...that had been terrible. Almost sickening. He'd thought it was anger and disgust at the small-minded people--but it might have been fear too.

No, no, he was coming to rely on her too much, that was clear.

And this usually meant he would have left--but the funny thing was, he knew he wasn't going to. He'd been tempted to before. The time when he could have forced himself to go was past... He knew even if he said he was going to, he'd only change his mind later.

Shine would talk him out of it anyway. She'd probably say something that would make it seem as if this was all his choice, and he didn't need to rely on them at all. And he'd probably buy it because it would sound so convincing.

Honestly, he wasn't even sure she didn't actually believe that. How could she suspect that he cared about anyone else? He was too selfish.

In fact, she clearly thought it was because she was helping him to begin with. He needed her help, so he was scared to lose it. He knew that was selfish...but he'd never been ashamed of that before. Always he had thought he was justified in treating people that way.

It had to be because Shine never did that. She never demanded anything of him except adherence to their code. That was why it embarrassed him to find he was not the same way.

He'd been quiet for so long, Shine half thought he'd forgotten she was there. She moved as if to leave the room.

"Did you think I was going to do that?" Sasuke finally asked in a tone that sounded like the words were coming out of him without his will.

"No," Shine said. "But I didn't really think of anyone doing it, period. I can't say what I would have expected. I didn't remember you were even watching by then. Tunnel vision happens easily at a time like that."

Sasuke could believe that, but it wasn't answering his question.

"I suppose you think it means something," he said tersely.

"No, not if you don't," Shine said carefully. "I suppose you have your own reasons. And we don't have to talk about it anymore. I just came to say thank you and to check in, that's all."

Sasuke didn't believe her.

"I suppose I did owe you," he said flatly, mind wandering elsewhere. "For a few times."

"Oh, well, you don't have to worry about that. I don't expect people to repay me." Shine held up her hands. "You don't save people to get something in return. It's just the right thing to do."

At one time he'd thought that too, he remembered vaguely.

Almost as if he wasn't really talking to her but saying his inward thoughts in her direction, he said in a distant tone, "Once, I would have done that anyway. For anyone. I just realized that I've changed a lot in the last 4 years...a lot more than I knew I did. Everything good about my character was forgotten about." [How I felt about how Kishimoto wrote this kid. At some point it just felt like it was inconsistent, not just Sasuke being corrupted.]

Shine felt sorry for him--it was quite true.

"Sasuke, let me tell you something that I was a little afraid to tell you before," she said. "And I'm not quite sure it's safe to say it now, but I'll risk it after today."

Sasuke finally looked at her like he remembered who he was talking to.

"Back when we met the first time, I really didn't know that much about you," Shine went on, gently enough. "Though I suspected that someone with such loyal friends had to not have always been the way you were. And they told me as much, without details. Of course the others didn't like you, but still, they didn't think you were a criminal yet. After we went home--so to speak--I did more digging. I won't explain how, but we have our ways. Learning about the past before the Exams and Orochimaru, I thought that, really, I would have liked you."

Sasuke was very surprised to hear this. He had assumed that his irrational nature (in their eyes) had been something they all would have disliked from the beginning.

"I really don't care that much if kids have a bit of an attitude, if they have a good heart," Shine shrugged. "Being young, often they grow out of the attitude part, so I don't worry about it. You wouldn't be the first person like that I've met. Back then, I really think we'd have gotten along just fine. I mean, you'd be no shining paragon of virtue, but no reason for us to have all these contentions either. And I thought it was almost a pity that we had to arrive later than that."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, though not really in anger this time.

"Well," he said, as if the thought didn't really matter that much, "if you'd arrived years before that, probably we'd never have been enemies."

"Probably not." 

"But if you're saying--" Sasuke suddenly got suspicious. "--that because of that, deep down you think that I'm not the way I am, then you're no different than Naruto and Sakura."

Shine knew this was the part she'd have to tread carefully on.

"No, Sasuke," she said in a low voice. "For better or worse, what you've done is likely to have changed you for the rest of your life."

Sasuke found he didn't really like that answer better.

It made him depressed. If she'd said otherwise, he would have argued with her but expected that kind of optimism.

So he really had done irreversible damage...

But Shine was not finished yet.

"However," she went on, more staunchly, "that doesn't mean that you'll always be this way, whatever way it is you think you are now. The fact is you are different. But the good things you had before, they were childish ones, weren't they? And you won't be a child for much longer, if you even are one now, technically speaking. That in-between phase is hard to measure. Most of us make mistakes after we lose our innocence that will change us forever, but they don't necessarily make us evil. The question of our life is about whether we will return to innocence or forever stray away from it. You can become the cynical, bitter adult that you've certainly been trying to become...and before too many years have gone by, you probably won't be able to lose that entirely even if you later regret it...but you could also go the other way. I doubt you'll ever be as light-hearted as Naruto. Your temperament isn't inclined that way to begin with." She shrugged. "And that's not a problem. We're not all going to be the same. But it doesn't follow that the difference has to be a negative. If that makes sense."

"It doesn't." He didn't get it at all.

"What I mean is," Shine explained, "the bad things did change you, but, with enough growth, that could become a different kind of good inside you. It will be harder than if you never did those things, I won't lie to you. You've made yourself some massive barricades...but they're not insurmountable. The harder path is not impossible. And there are things that people who take the harder path learn that others don't. Things that are important to know."

"Such as?" Sasuke really had never heard anything like this before.

"I'm afraid that's not a thing I can just tell you," Shine said. "Your path and mine aren't the same. For me, I know making the mistakes I did make taught me the importance of words...and you see now how carefully I have to choose mine. But for you? I doubt that's going to be your lesson. Anyway, if you're worried that nothing can get better, then don't be. It can always get better."

A long silence.