Chapter 9! Yeah...I don't even know umm yeah....

It's been awhile since I've written in here, with being at the lair again... Master Splinter embraced me warmly, maybe I was too cold at that moment...or maybe it hurt to much to try to care...
I guess I won't bored you writing in this journal, your obviously only reading this because you want the excitement, sorry this isn't too good tonight...but I heard a quote while pruning my feathers, which honestly isn't as easy as the birds in the movies showed... Anyway, Mikey had decided it was movie night and dragged us all out. The entire movie was just something to do with taking care of trees...I kind of zoned out...I got a small orange person, and these two guys that look almost the same. One quote caught me. "The tree falls the way it leans..." Which way did I lean? Was I leaning towards failure?! Is that why I fell so hard?! Anyway its late and Leo keeps coming in my room to make sure I actually get sleep...
Until next time
Sayonara.

I scribbled the last part down. I stretched my hand out, breaking out the strain gathering.
"Donnie?!" Leo knocked on my door.
"I'm finishing up!" I yelled out, shoving my journal under my sheets. The door clicked as the leader in blue opened my door.
"Donnie?" He asked softly, coming inside my room. I didn't even try to smile.
"Yes?" I asked, Leo blinked, and shrugged.
"Wanted to see how your doing?" He asked, the frown line in creased.
"I don't know..." I started sarcastically. Leo sighed and lowered his poistion.
"Just...I get it life is hard...can you...at least try? A little?" He cut me off. I shook my head, he acted like he knew what he was doing. He must of caught my expression and gave up. One last attempted smile before falling into it.  He flipped off my light.
"Good night Donatello." Leaving me to the pained darkness

I hate the darkness, I was scared it when I was young. As my knowledge grew stronger I understood it was just light waves and my eyes working their science. Now the darkness was edging into my mind. Whispers of my weakness and how useless I was... I blinked tears, a foot step outside my door. I bolted up.
"Who goes there?!" I demanded.
"Chillax dude!" Mikey chuckled, for some reason he'd taken the coming home well, but in some way he knew were to distance. Casey invited him out to 'beat up bad guys' to quote.

***********

Mikey frowned.
"Why?" 
Casey's grin subsided.  "Cause it's fun!"
Mikey looked back at me laying on the floor. "I think Don needs company." He decided. I tried not to pulse my anger at Casey... Well sort of. Casey blew out a laugh.
"Don-man's ok! Right?"
I stood up, with difficulty I stumbled towards Casey. I'd barely his height now.
"Don't. Call. Me. That." I bit out. Casey double took, he was struggling to cope with the idea of my condition.
"Hey...sorry man." He raised an arm up in defeat. I nodded, still unhappy with him. 

*********

I shook my head.  "What?" I demanded. Mikey smiled.
"Time to cheer the depressed turtle up!" Mikey grinned.
"I'm not depressed!" I protested, never had lies been so true. I flicked my eyes away from him. "Sensei will tell us off if I'm awake." I muttered, trying to get him off my shell.
"And that's ever stopped you when?" Raph asked. He walked towards me, arms folded. "Mikey has a point...your not ok." 
Mikey grinned at the agreement of Raph.
"Just leave me alone, I want to be alone!" I demanded, I threw out my wings, Raph stepped back.
"Nice wings?"
I scowled, hoping that would scare them off.
"Why do you care so much?" I growled. Raph frowned, as the question seemed to insult him.
"Why don't you care about anything anymore? Even your own life."
"Have you been there?" I hissed, that's when the shaking started, Shredder's room. I remembered the lab.

***********

Liquid bubbled in vials. Stockman smiled as he walked over to my locked poistion.
"Hellllo." Stockman laughed, he grabbed a drip. I'd been here maybe two weeks, but from my last trip I'd learned to hold back my tongue, and questioning. What was he planning? Logic told me that chemical was meant for my arm. Naturally I was right, Stockman was smiling as he started to enter it through my blood stream.
"Ever wanted to know what being on fire feels like?" Shredder asked calmly, walking into the room, he was helmet like. His face was that of my nightmares. When ever Leo described it now; it seemed like a children's cartoon. Something an eight year old would watch, laugh as the good guys beat him. Let me tell you, when he turns towards you, your blood runs cold. Your only instinct is to run. Dried blood was splattered over his gauntlet. His cloak, danced around the room, giving an aura of distant from the devils reincarnate. Oroku looked at Stockman.
"Turn it on." His voice, that blood chilling voice. All you need for a horror movie is to hear his tone. The scream exploded out my mouth. Fire I was on fire! It was coursings through my blood. Spreading almost gleefully. It stopped, I frowned it was all the chemical. I lowered my head and took in a deep breath, before looking back at Shredder. He was smiling.
"Blame your father." He muttered, and left me to endure the pain once more.

****

And that was just a daily torture...

*********

"No, that's why you need to trust us Donnie. We want to help." Raph said quietly.
"Since when?" I asked sarcastically.
"Since we where brothers, forever Donnie." Raph whispered, he met eyes with me for a second, before falling into giving up and he left.

...yep chapter 9....*awkward thumbs up* hope you guys liked this update...Uhhh yep...bye
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-Ninja out