( CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO )
THE TRUTH RIGHT IN HER FACE

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          11:21 p.m.

          EDEN FOUND HERSELF STARING at the stars hanging from her ceiling, glowing a little in the dark as if she were entitled to her own starry sky dedicated only to her name. When she found herself in this position, that is to say: legs crossed together, hands placed behind her skull, eyes wide open without looking for sleep and her mouth chewing bubble gum, it was because she was thinking about something very, very insistent. She was only thinking about that. JJ's words had finally managed to disappear from her thoughts, and now a new question was creeping into her labyrinth. Actually, that wasn't really a question. But an impulsiveness to do something, but backing away from doing it for fear of running into something serious.

          This impulsiveness was Thomas' office waiting for her. At the other end of the hallway, it was as if a voice was calling for her to come. Something wanted her to go, but she held back. She had the feeling that if she went in there this time, she wasn't going to come out with good news. So she closed her eyes, trying to erase the idea from her head. She let her thoughts wander from one image to another. She was on the beach, then in the Twinkie, then eating strawberries, and with her father going on a treasure hunt. And here she was again thinking about that office. At this point, she thought he was cursed. She groaned into a pillow and jumped up on both legs, making her bed creak.

When she passed her photo wall, coming across a picture of her and her father, she rolled her eyes at him, telling herself that he was a manipulator of her conscience.

The Winslow girl slowly opened the door, waking Bella who was sleeping on her bed. She signaled her to stay in bed with a calm gesture. She only poked her head out of her room, looking around to make sure no one was awake and that all the doors were closed. No noise was heard except the steady sound of the clock on the wall in front of her. She passed through her door frame to finally head towards the other door which attracted her like a magnet. She arrived at John B's door, and for two seconds she thought about opening it and inviting him to join her, but she decided against her choice. Her voice in her head told her to do it alone, as if the secrets hidden in this room could only be seen by her and no one else.

So Eden entered this new room with no one beside her, only the sounds of her heart beating in her chest and her slightly stressed breathing. She didn't turn on the light so as not to arouse suspicion if anyone woke up, and only took the light from her phone and sent it lighting up the whole room at once. She didn't even know what she was looking for, she didn't even know why she was there. So the only idea that came to her was to go around the room and look for things without really touching anything. She started with the wooden desk, examining it with her eyes as if the truths were going to jump out at her like magic. And then the shelves, the bookcases, the sofas, the window sills. . . But nothing appeared. Eden sighed, looking around the room. Nothing jumped out at her. So she decided to go around the room again, but now she was putting her own effort into it. She slipped her hand into the desk drawers, leafed through the few books, searched the bookshelf.

11:46 p.m.

And it was at this precise time on her phone screen that she finally saw something concrete. A book stuck behind the bookshelf caught her attention. Eden frowned to herself at this discovery, and slipped her hand between the space to grab the brown book. She blew off the dust and the rest with her hands, discovering something marked on it.

PEREZ'S DIARY.

          Only that. But it was enough to take over all her curiosity. She had never seen her father writing in this book, never heard him mention it or even seen him hide it. This book was a complete secret. So she sat on the single sofa, her legs crossed together as she lit up the pages on her phone. The pages were old, a little yellow, and the writing was a little difficult to read.

June 28, 2007

Me, Eden and Noah have just gone on a big treasure hunt for the first time in their lives. I had already prepared everything. Eden was more than happy while Noah was more trying to run away than love what had taken me a month to organize. But it doesn't matter, because Eden appreciated it. She had the time of her life searching from one place to another with a map of our house in her hands. She even went so far as to go find her three friends to help her. It was really fun. My baby girl was finally understanding why I'm leaving sometimes to the Bahamas.

          Throughout his life, Thomas always had to go to different places around the world for gold. He often went to the Bahamas for some reason since the gold wasn't even there. Questioning reigned on her features on her soft and sleepy face at the same time as her eyes slowly moistened.

          She turned a few pages, reading only a few unimportant bits, but she still had fun reading it all. She discovered more beautiful things about his life, his story. . . Sure, a diary is supposed to be private, but her eyes read for themselves without her even being able to stop them. Until she came across a page where the letters seemed more rushed, stressed, and where she could see that something wet had landed there.

March 19, 2008

I've always hated hospitals. Bad smells, bad news, bad doctors. Nothing is ever good in a hospital. And right now, I don't know if I can say it's good or scary. I already have a family—not a very happy one—but I have a family. Two children that I love, a woman with whom I no longer really feel anything. And now I'm going to have to open my arms to her. Violeta. The woman at least let me choose her first name, since I didn't want a new person in my life. Violeta Perez, my second daughter.

The diary found itself on the floor in a shock, while Eden moved as far away from this book as possible. Her heart which, unlike her breathing which had stopped, it beat more and more quickly and harder without stopping. Her lips, her hands, her entire body sent electric shocks, endless tremors. She was contributing to her own earthquake. Her own life suddenly falling apart.

          It couldn't be. Nothing she had just read could be real.

He had another daughter. And now she had to have. . . twelve years old? Twelve fucking years of not knowing her, never having seen her or even heard her speak. A real ghost. A story without answers. A mystery. The biggest secret her father ever told her.

And suddenly, while saying these words to herself, a rage formed against her father. An urge to scream, to set fire to this damn shitty office hit her right in the chest. Her family always made fun of her, always lied to her. But never him, he had once lied to her. Life is full of selfish people, manipulators. And here's the new one added to Eden Winslow's list: Thomas Perez.

She placed her hand over her mouth, preventing herself from screaming all her hatred and anger into a black hole. Tears ran down her cheeks, and she hated herself for crying over a bastard of a father like him. She always modalized him, always saw him as more incredible, like, a hero for her, but it was just a role. She had been fooled by the person most important to her. She had been a pawn in his life to be able to slip between queens and kings. She had served as his fence to always protect him against Yasmina, against Fred, against everyone. And in the end, she was the one who ended up a failure while he continued to live somewhere.

Eden got up after a moment in the darkness, didn't even touch the diary. She didn't care about her father anymore. Or everything he had hidden. If people came in here, they would find what she saw all alone with no one by her side. She then turned off the light on her phone, and walked down the hall without even caring about the noise she was making. But this time, she didn't go to the end of the corridor, she put her hand on the door handle of another room.

The sight of John B not asleep, his body half hidden by the blankets and his eyes fixed on the ceiling, gave her an expression of herself 40 minutes ago. The door creaked, making the brunette draw attention to the Winslow girl who stood there in silence as she tried not to sniffle to show him that she had been crying. She was tired of always showing him her sad sides and never her happy ones. She too wanted to be his light in the darkness. But truth be told, John B didn't care if she was happy or sad when she was with him. He just wanted to have her present with him, and his world was already in color again.

His worried look crossed his eyes as he noticed how she tried to fake a smile. As he went to get out of bed to come join her, she went towards him, dragging her feet, and climbed in beside him. John B said nothing, and examined her like a work of art until he saw a tear not yet wiped from her jaw. He grabbed it with his thumb, making her look up at him. She murmured no words, no longer showed any smiles, she only let herself fall into his arms, clinging to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, revealing her slightly trembling body.

Eden closed her eyes, smelling his familiar scent, and her hands wandered over his non-covered skin as he slipped his hands under her T-shirt, rubbing her back in appalling silence. She felt like if she dared to speak, it was like nothing was going to come out. So she remained trapped between his arms and the walls of the room. She didn't want to hear anything anymore, see anything anymore. She only wanted him by her side, was that wrong? She thought so, but at this point, she didn't care. She didn't care about anything.

          John B held her tightly against him, wanting to take all of her pain and escape it into his own heart instead of seeing her suffer every second. And then suddenly, she moved away from him in a slow movement. His hands slid from her back to her hips, holding her there out of fear that she would go off to her room alone without anyone. He didn't want to leave her alone. Eden looked up at him, and he immediately ran his thumb over her cheeks to remove the droplets of water left there.

          He waited for words, for explanations, but the only thing she managed to whisper was the most unexpected sentence. "Can I kiss you?" She asked in almost inaudible words, but he heard her anyway.

          His eyes widened a little, trying to sense if she had been drinking or taking something, but no. It was really her in totality with her whole head. He stared at her still worried, and simply hummed, "I don't think that's the right time for that, Eden. . ."

          "All moments with you are right for me." She sent straight to his fragile loving heart as she slowly approached him. Sadness often made her do wrong things like that kiss with him on the beach, but that moment of rage only proved one truth to her. He was the only one who has never used her in his entire life. So yes, she wanted to kiss him. She really wanted to. "Can I kiss you?"

          The timing was bad on Eden's part, because his head told him that she was in no condition, she was not well. Everything around him was telling him not to agree, telling him to just fall asleep here and do nothing. Especially since he was still thinking about that awkward kiss on the beach. But he noticed something different. Right now, he didn't see the same expression that he had seen on the beach. The vulnerability was obviously there, as much as the sadness. But something more was present beneath her irises. He saw a desire, a temptation, a risk to take from her part. She wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her.

She was only ten centimeters from his lips, so close that he could even feel her breath on his face evaporating into the air. He lowered his eyes to her lips so soft that they only waited his. He huffed in a short breath, pulling her closer by squeezing her hips softly, "Yes. Yes, you can."

And she crushed her lips softly but heavily on his at the same time as he pressed her to his chest, his hands still on her hips. He almost fell backwards, but she wrapped her hands around his neck to hold him and deepened the kiss as much as she could. Hundreds of butterflies exclaimed in her stomach as she realized what she was doing and who she was doing it with. A kiss, a simple kiss but yet there was so much passion. She no longer thought about what she had just discovered, about the rage that had controlled her for minutes.

          She only focused on him. And he focused on her.

There was gentleness as long as there was tension. John B held on to her hips, pushing her closer to him until her body was pressed against his, and she had to climb onto his lap so she wouldn't hurt her back from bending over so much. She kept her hands intertwined with his soft hair. And she ran her fingers over his jaw, until she moved away from him, brushing his lips with her thumb. John B stared at her longingly, waiting for her to put her lips back where it was, which she did after giving him a cute smile that melted his heart.

And it was his turn to smile. He didn't know why he smiled, but he did. Maybe because the words she said before she kissed him were the same words he said the first time they kissed for real. And he knows what that feeling is when the person we ask to kiss accepts. And he felt it with her, because he never once stopped wanting to kiss her. It took every breath from her, every smile to perch on her lips, every butterflies to bring to her stomach. He kissed her as best he could after a full year of waiting for her.

John B whispered between two deep kisses, "Are you going to run away like the first ti—"

She shook her head, biting her lip. "I told you I wouldn't leave again, so I'm not, John B." She affirmed, looking straight at him.

He smirked, catching her lips as he pushed his against hers, surprising her. And they kissed until the stars faded, the darkness encompassed them, their lips could never be separated.

          He made her fall on her back when she broke the kiss for good, her forehead pressing against his, and hid under the covers, her back to him, but his arm came around her waist. He still had no idea why she was crying, and Eden wasn't about to tell him. She just wanted to try again, and if she messed up, then she would stop trying again and she would let go. But she at least wanted to try her luck with him, nice and slow and sure. She doesn't want to miss anything with him anymore. But the question that was in her thoughts when she fell asleep was : Will he agree to try or will fear take him like it took Eden the first time?

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          EDEN WINSLOW NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD why John B chose her to be the one he was going to make smile, laugh, sing, cry, comfort. She never understood it, because she never understood herself. But after that kiss, the next morning, when he got out of bed and whispered to her, "It was incredible," she perhaps understood him a little better because yes, it was incredible. Even at their first kiss, she had never felt this pile of emotions, of chills on her, and this urgent feeling of always kissing him harder than she could herself. She understood how he felt when he kissed her, but she didn't understand why it was with her that he felt that way. There were so many more beautiful girls, simpler, less sad, and just. . . not her.

She wanted to understand, because she wanted to be the one he would continue to bring to life every possible feeling on earth. She wanted him always looking at her when Pope spoke to her. She wanted him to take her to this old church to talk for hours. She wanted him near her when she felt at her lowest point. She wanted him stroking her hand during a horror movie. It was crazy how much she wanted him, but yet he seemed so far away. As she had thought last night as she fell asleep, she wanted to take her time this time. Don't rush, don't play stupid games to keep an idiot away.

          The feeling she felt for John B when he told her he wanted more, that her heart was his, everything he told her, she felt it. She felt it and she was afraid it would come back to her in a bad way. She knew John B as he knew her, and a part whispered to her that he wouldn't want to try his luck again, not to be caught in the same mistakes of the past. And she understood it.

          A harsh and loud clicking noise landed in her ears, making all her disturbing and dreaming thoughts disappear. She brushed her hair out of her face, looked to each side, still uncovering herself from John B's bed. She smiled to herself, then her lips closed again as she heard loud footsteps through the house. Now her senses were wide awake and her fantasy was extinguished. With a doubtful and stressed expression, she walked towards the door and opened it ajar. She only had time for a second to see Yasmina go down to the first floor with papers in her hands. An angry expression was on her face, and without Eden even understanding her movements, her eyes fell on the door of Thomas' office, the papers in Yasmina's hands, and she was following her mother. Her movements were quick and slow as if she was afraid of what Yasmina had found.

After hurrying down the stairs, Eden calmed down a little and discovered Yasmina in her office, walking up and down. Eden stood behind the door, examining the paper in the furious woman's hands, and her doubts were put to rest. Thomas's diary found itself there, in Yasmina's wicked hands. Eden's breathing accelerated, but a desire to know what Yasmina had in this diary convinced her to slowly push the door, and to make room in the room like a little mouse while the cat was already ready to enter.

Yasmina's head quickly turned towards Eden like lightning, glaring at her with anger already ready to be shouted from the rooftops, and the young girl now regretted her movements. Her decision to enter the office was just another mistake on her list.

"Hey, mom. . ." Eden began, remaining in the doorway, staring at every feature on her mother's face. "Everything's okay? I heard a door slam and—"

Yasmina cut her off in her uncertain words to throw in her face, "What have you done?"

So there, Eden remained frozen at her words. She hadn't done anything. She had nothing to reproach herself for as to what was described in this diary. So she remained in an uncomfortable silence, keeping eye contact with her even if she preferred to lower her head, close the door and return to John B's arms instead of facing this horror again.

"What have you done, Eden!" Yasmina screamed again, taking a step towards her, raising her arm with the diary towards her daughter. She stepped back at the same time, crossing her arms over herself. But Yasmina didn't even pay attention to her gestures, only to her eyes. "You weren't allowed to go in that room, and you knew it!"

"Oh, and you were?"

It came out on its own, in a frank attitude and in a single breath. Eden hated herself for having her moments of confidence which were going to fall on her the next second.

"Don't play the role of the girl who has the upper hand over me, young lady!"

"And you the one of the mother who really cares about her daughter!" She responded back, anger building for as long as she could keep it from exploding. "You knew it, right?"

Yasmina frowned, playing the victim as usual when it came down on her. "What? What did I know?"

Eden gave a forbidden laugh, shaking her head from side to side, then shouted the truth, "Violeta. You knew about her. You and Dad were over for a long time ago. You didn't even cry a single shortly after his death, and all you told me about your relationship being "dead" was because she came into your lives. You fucking knew it! And you never told me anything!" She said, taking a step towards her, letting a tear fall down her cheek.

Yasmina's finger found itself pointing at her daughter, silencing her with her words as the mother gritted her teeth to not let a slap go too quickly. She knew Eden's weak points and used them when she felt like she was losing control of the situation. When Eden finally put herself against her, and not at her mercy. "Don't you ever talk to me on this tone, Blair Winslow."

Eden remained in silence, her arms trying to surround her body as if to forbid Yasmina from touching her. She was even more frightening, she had real rage, real. . . Hate. She hated Eden at that moment, she really did.

"You don't know anything, okay? You don't know what happened. You have no say in this matter," The mother declared, pointing at the diary with her hand. Eden stared at her, preparing to argue, but her words stalled. She was scared, she didn't feel safe. She felt suffocated. And then suddenly, Yasmina took a step in her direction, letting her get lost in her muffled and rapid breaths. "Don't you ever dare go into that office again, don't ever talk about it, and get out of here before I get even more upset."

Yasmina looked her snake eyes into Eden's before turning her back, leaving behind her desk, throwing the diary onto a seat in the room.

"Have you ever met her?" Eden asked suddenly, her feet nailed to the ground as if she had to ask her questions in order to then leave. "Has she ever seen me? Where is she?"

"No. No, and I don't know. Probably with her real mother, Eden, what do you think?"

A tear fell down her red cheek, leaving her speechless. The daughter was not Yasmina's, but another woman's, she knew it, but hearing it said was much harder to take. Thomas therefore cheated on Yasmina, and he hid a girl for years from everyone.

"Don't cry. Dry those poor tears. You have no reason to be sad, you didn't even know her." Yasmina snapped, turning back to her daughter. She took several steps toward her, and the Winslow girl hoped as hard as she could that her mother wasn't going to hit her. Strangely, Yasmina gently wiped the tears away with her thumbs. "Now that you know the truth, you understand that I was never the bad guy. Your father was, but we're okay now. Our lives will—"

"Stop!" Eden exclaimed in anger, pushing away Yasmina's hands which were surrounding her face. She sniffled, her lips trembling. "Stop now! Stop thinking we'll ever be a normal family, mom!" Yasmina closed her mouth, regaining her hard and cold expression towards her daughter, but Eden did not let herself be intimidated. "This fucking family is nothing else but fucked up! We're all playing fucking roles, you hear me?"

Eden's words stopped when the door behind her creaked a little more, proving that someone had just entered the room. Fred and Noah stood there, staring at the two women without saying anything. Eden looked at them, then a tired laugh escaped from between her lips.

"Come join the party. The perfect brother, and the impostor. Fred Barrow," she said slowly, pointing at him. "Here's a professional actor. Seriously, what an actor. Well done." She clapped her hands together in front of the faces of the three people around her.

"Eden. . .?" Noah whispered, his eyebrows furrowed.

Eden ignored him, and continued on with Fred, "You're a really nice guy, Fred. Unless you're just playing a fucking role, because let's face it, we're all pretty good at that." A laugh pierced her lips again. "The worst part is that I was starting to like you a little, but you had to enter the most disgusting family of all Figure Eight. Sad for you. . ."

          Noah took a step forward, trying to grab her shoulders, "Eden, calm down. You're losing control."

          "Don't touch me, Noah." She hissed, taking a step back and shaking her head, tears clouding her vision. "Where were you, huh?" He frowned again, with a new glint in his eyes. He was worried, and afraid of what she was about to say. "Where were you when mom punched me in the face when I was just nine years old? Where were you when she took me aside at Midsummers and ordered me not to cry anymore? Where were you, Noah?"

          He was speechless, the revelation striking his heart like a knife. "I. . ." He turned his face towards Yasmina. "Mom?"

          "You were never there! You never noticed anything strange since you were always the perfect boy, and I was the worst daughter to have. You never lifted a finger to go against Mom's words. You let her judge me, hit me, ridicule me while you lived your fucking life. So fuck you, Noah."

          "Okay, that's enough." Fred stated, stepping between the siblings, but his eyes fell on Eden and only her. "We. . . We'll sort this out, okay? We're all here for you—"

"Oh, stop it. You don't even know me, Mr. Barrow. I'm not your daughter, this isn't your family. We're all fucking strangers living under the same roof." She said, arms raised in the air, demonstrating the piece. Fred sighed, seeing Eden trying to hide her sadness and getting angry. "I really thought you could be a good man, but. . . No one is good in this house so. . . Fuck you all." She grumbled through her lips, the anger disappearing little by little as she sniffled.

Nobody spoke. No one tried to hold her back when she stormed out of the room into her bedroom. The only noises she heard were those of Noah shouting at his mother and then leaving the house, taking the car.

Eden was the next to leave this house, but she didn't leave empty-handed. A bag on her shoulders with a few pieces of clothes, and important things. She confronted her family, she had shown them the truth, she had screamed everything. She didn't regret anything she said, she didn't care. When she thought about destroying her family, she only wanted to destroy them like they had been destroying her for years. By pitting them all against each other. As they had all been against her before.

She was going to join her other family.

Eden Blair Winslow was going to join the Pogues for good.

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authors note: was i dead? no. just had no motivation lol

WHATEVERRRR!! heyy my dudes, how r u doing?? hope ur doing good after this whole chapter!! me writing a fully happy chapter? NEVER.

sooo john b and eden kissed. IM SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT'S CRAZY. and then yasmina found out everything, and eden got really mad. yup... i'm not really, um, SHE GOT REALLY MAD.

i cannot blame her. her whole family always used her, made fun of her, lied to her... they deserved to be put at their place. but that was hard to write the part between the siblings. noah did have doubts about yasmina hitting eden but yk... he never said anything.

anywaysss!! love you guys and take care of yourself <3