Fangirl is a young adult novel by Rainbow Rowell, published in 2013. It is an Young Adult novel about a college freshman (Cath), who struggles with anxiety, a new roommate and the end of her favorite book series. [Source: Wikipedia, Amazon]

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Fun fact: Emily had a fan account for book reviews on Instagram.

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Chapter Twenty Three: Fangirl

We were at our lunch table. For normal people, they were eating lunch while wrinkling their nose at the sad sandwich or the excuse of an apple. But for me, I was in an interrogation room. All of my friends were looking right at me, waiting for me to open my mouth. Erika was shaking her head in disappointment.

I had texted Nathan, telling him everybody had found out. He had texted back a very sarcastic “LOL” and then nothing. I glanced at him now. He was eating his lunch like he had no care in the world. He gazed at me once, and it seemed like he was trying his hardest not to laugh.

Wow. Why must I go through this?

I decided to throw Leanna under the bus first.

“You know, we went to a party last Saturday, right?” I started.

Leanna raised an eyebrow, while Azra nodded. Malti, Uyen, and Erika kept the same passive yet intrigued expression on their faces.

“Leanna definitely slept with someone that night,” I said.

“Oh my god!” Leanna screamed, “This isn't about me.”

Malti burst out laughing despite her best efforts, and Azra asked with widened eyes, “What are you two even on? Because I need that.”

“How was it?” Uyen asked, “Did he have a big-”

“Stop it!” Leanna blushed furiously. I didn’t know for sure how far she went, but that blush definitely confirmed it, “Em is trying to change the subject.”

“Yes,” Malti interfered, “I can definitely see that. Alright, in order: first, we hear what Emily was hiding, then we grill Leanna, right, girls?”

“Why me first?” I cried as the girls nodded, including Leanna.

They turned to me again. Sacrificing Leanna hadn't worked, and my other friends weren't up to much, so I couldn’t sacrifice them too.

“So, why would Nathan Callahan, of all people, ask you to prom?” Uyen asked.

I decided to go with the simplest answer. “Because he is my seatmate.”

“Wrong answer,” Azra commented, “Try again.”

“I told him how I would not come to prom if I didn’t have a date, and he agreed to take me.” I said.

“That is exactly what she said to me, but I think that is not true,” Erika replied, “There is something else here.”

“But why would she tell him, though? Isn't he like scary and mysterious and talks to nobody?” Uyen said.

“Is he your friend now?” Azra asked. Leanna observed me with keen eyes.

“Well, he is more like my chemistry study partner.” I covered my mouth with my hand as soon as I said it.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“He is your what now?” Leanna asked incredulously, “You need a study partner for chemistry?!”

“Yeah, you are like a chemistry whiz,” Malti said, “You can probably belt out the whole periodic table from memory. Why do you need a study partner?”

I had dug myself a hole, and now I was falling in it.

“Maybe he needs one?” Azra said weakly, “Maybe he is not good at chemistry, and if anything, Emily is the right teacher for that.”

“No,” I said too quickly, “He always gets an A.”

I realized I shouldn't be this excited to defend him.

“Then why are you studying together?” Leanna said, “And since when?”

I honestly just wanted to run away. They were asking too many questions. “Reasons, whatever. We study together, so we kind of became friends, and now he has asked me out to prom and that's it.”

Leanna was staring, “Does TJ know about all this?”

I made a face.

“She does, doesn't she?”

“Umm, yeah.”

“You'd tell her and not me,” Leanna mumbled, and I snapped.

“That's because you'd judge him and me, and she wouldn't do that.”

Leanna grimaced, “That's because she doesn't know him except for what you say.”

“You don't know him either,” I said in reply.

“Well, fine then,” Leanna crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat, “Tell us about him. Tell us why I shouldn't be worried that he will break your heart or make you cry. Because he looks like he will.”

I deflated in my seat, “That is exactly what he wants everyone to believe.”

“Why?” Leanna asked. The girls were looking from me to her.

“He is scared? He thinks all the people at school are stupid or whatever. He doesn't wanna be involved in any drama, but he does have friends, like outside school.”

“Oh,” Azra said, “Do we know them?”

I perked up, “Oh, Leanna might.” I looked at her, “Saturday party was thrown at Cycreak twins’ house. Theo and Fletcher. They are his friends.”

I skipped the whole neighbor bit.

“Theo?” Leanna's eyes widened, then she shook her head, “Theo and Fletcher are his friends?”

“Yup. And not only that, Nathan bakes,” I counted on my hands one by one, “Babysits his siblings, watches kids’ movies, and checks out new restaurants whenever he can. He's kinda passionate about food and stuff.”

I glanced his way and saw him packing up his lunch tray from the table, “So yeah, despite what he wants everyone to believe, he's like a normal person.”

“Woah, okay,” Azra said, and soon all of their eyes followed him as he walked by our table. I tried to tell them not to look, but they pointedly stared at his back, which I realized was kind of broad, and it looked good in his black shirt.

God, I was drooling over his back now. A new low for me.

Nathan Callahan decided to turn around as we were all staring, and smiled at me.

“Hey, Emily,” Nathan said and waved at me, with his tray perched on his other hand.

My eyes widened at his mischievous-looking smile. Azra giggled beside me, and Malti gasped. I was frozen.

“How's your day?” he asked, standing right there, as he shoved his hand into his pocket.

“I-” I opened my mouth, then shook my head, “Can you just not?”

Nathan laughed, turned around, and walked away.

“I ship!” Azra said before Nathan was even out of earshot. I covered my face with both of my hands.

Because I was blushing. He did not just do that. He was having so much fun with this.

“So, what are you going to do about the prom dress?” Leanna asked.

*****

“Look at that one,” Nathan Callahan pointed to a big blue dress with so much fabric, I could bury myself in it. It was also 3-4 sizes bigger than what I'd wear.

I had brought him with me to dress shopping because all of my friends had already bought theirs, and none of them were ready to go through it all again. I had only one choice left.

But unlike what TJ had hoped, Nathan wasn't giving me starry eyes. No, he was pointing out every inappropriate and out-of-my-league dress that I'd never be able to wear or choose to wear, just for fun.

“Yeah, I'd wear that, and you won't even be able to find me behind all that silk and lace,” I said, “Find something I could actually fit into.”

Nathan grinned. I shook my head and walked forward. He followed me.

“I'm telling you,” he stepped close to me and whispered, “You don't need to wear anything-”

I swatted his forearm as my cheeks heated up. This boy, ugh.

“Be serious, for like a second,” I muttered as he dropped his grin.

“I am very serious.”

I turned away from him as we kept walking among rows and rows of dresses. I had complained to him in chemistry about how my friends basically ditched me. It wasn't really their fault, to be honest. Leanna had repeatedly asked me to go with them, but I had refused every time. So, I guessed it was on me a little.

Nathan pointed to a red dress next, which literally had no fabric at the back. The back was nonexistent. I turned to him and stared at his face.

“Yeah, nice choice.”

He smiled like a sneaky bastard. “I know, it's cute, right?”

“Except Mrs. Collins wouldn't even let me enter the school wearing that,” I said.

“We will go somewhere else then,” Nathan said.

I groaned at him. He laughed. Then he whisked me ahead with his hands on my shoulders.

“How about this one?” I asked, holding a pink dress. It reminded me of fan art of Once Upon A Broken Heart.

“Pretty,” Nathan shrugged. His reaction did not convince me, so I rejected it. We walked ahead, but I came back for it because I wanted to try it on.

We checked out more dresses, Nathan calling out weird shots as I slowly lost my mind and realized why my friends didn't want to come with me. All the dresses looked pretty, but not pretty enough. Every single one of them had something missing, and I could not figure out what.

I grabbed a few dresses, nonetheless. I found a purple dress with a sweetheart neckline, an off-the-shoulder cute mermaid dress in a blue-green shade, and a red silk dress that looked nice but a little too sexy (I saw Nathan raising his eyebrow when I picked up that one). I also found a black dress with full sleeves and a flared skirt.

I headed towards the trial room with the sales lady following me and carrying the dresses, feeling like none of these dresses would do.

Nathan followed us, scrolling through his phone. He sat down on a couch, not far from the trial room, as we went ahead. I entered and grabbed the dresses from the lady as she waited outside.

I put on the mermaid dress. It looked horrible on me, even though the dress itself was pretty. It was also too tall for me. Then I tried on the black dress. It hugged my body perfectly, but it also hid my best features, which were the only few things I liked about my body: my shoulders and my collarbone.

I put it off and tried the red dress on. It had a long zipper at the back. I could've easily put it on. But the problem happened when my hair got tangled with the zipper.

“Shit,” I tried my best to get it out, but it felt like it was only getting worse.

I looked in the mirror. I was looking pink because of all the try-outs. And the trial room wasn’t too big. The piles of dresses on the bench also made the room suffocating.

I turned around and tried to figure it out through the mirror. But since it was a reflection, I started pulling my hair in the wrong direction.

“Oh, for God’s sake,” I huffed as I let go. Without the zipper, the front didn't hold itself. So I placed my hand at my front and cussed at the ceiling.

Then I opened the door a few inches. The sales lady should be here, and she would be able to help.

But she wasn't there. I could hear people talking outside, someone was screaming. Something might have happened that whisked her away.

Then I looked at my prom date. Nathan Callahan was going through his phone, humming to himself.

“Pfft,” I hissed.

He didn't even look up.

“Hey, you,” I waved.

He glanced up this time. One of his eyebrows went up.

“Come here,” I said.

Nathan craned his neck to look around, and then he looked at me. He pointed his index finger to his chest and mouthed, “Me?”

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