~ A JOURNEY TOWARDS HATE BY ankitha21 ~

Title and Cover:
I liked your title. A simple one that gives a sneak peek of what the story would be about. The picture used on the cover was an overwhelming one but you need to work on attractiveness of the cover. It was too simple and the fonts can be improved as well.

Blurb:
A short and simple blurb but I feel you need to work a little in making it more interesting so that you can can have as much readers as your story deserve and maybe even more.

Feedback on the story:
# The story started at a good note with the cute love story of Shravan and Nisha. The transition of the phases of their lives was carried on quite well.

# However, as the prompt demanded Mitra’s character could have been explored a bit more. The innocence of the twelve years old child captures our heart instantly but leaves the readers yearning for more.

# The catch was used nicely but a little more work on the given word would have been even better.

Grammar and narration:
The flow of the story and narration was good but there were some quite noticeable grammatical and punctuation errors. You really need some work on your punctuation marks and spacing. So, a quick proof reading and editing is advised.

Remarks:
It was really a good read. You, as a writer, have a lot of potential which can be unleashed with continuous reading and writing practice. All the best!

~ MENDING HER HEART BY wallflower_words ~

Title and Cover:
A really nice title that went with your story pretty well. I really liked the simplicity of your cover. A good choice but I feel a better font would have made it even more attractive.

Blurb:
A really appreciable one. The lines at the beginning gave us a small glance of the story.

Feedback on the story:
# The way the story began with the dream is really appreciable. Raveena’s and Pradeep’s first meeting was cute.

# However, the way plot followed, I feel you could do a little better. Let’s say, a couple of meetings more before they decided to go for their one night stand. It felt a bit abrupt. But the further part of the story was carried out in a really good way.

# The usage of word was quite nice. However, as you concentrated on the word given, you overlooked both the genre and the catch given. Instead of the Young Adult, the story revolved somewhere between the New Adult and the Adult sub-genres of Romance. Moreover, there was no mention of the catch given. 

Grammar and narration:
The words flowed smoothly and the narration was quite gripping. With almost negligible grammatical mistakes, the plot and the characters were well developed.

Remarks:
This story really had some potential, only if it had followed the guidelines of the prompt. But as a reader, I really liked the story. You can do wonders but please pay attention to the details of the contest as you pen down your thoughts. All the best!

~ CORNERING LILY THOMAS BY Gokka_Makka ~

Title and Cover:
The first thing that caught my eye was the title, somewhat unique and intriguing. The cover was pretty cute but addition of a few elements related to the story would have made it even more appealing.

Blurb:
A nicely written blurb but I found the curiosity factor missing in it. I’m sure you can do better.

Feedback on the story:
# Reading the title, I thought the storyline would be like ‘wooing Lily’ but Irai’s father challenging Lily to woo him came as a surprise.

# Both the characters of Lily and Irai were carried well as their cute love story progressed. They were adorable.

# Though you’ve used the catch nicely, but I wasn’t able to find the proper usage of word, as the story seemed more inclined towards Lily being a Philomisia instead of a Misogamist.  A better usage of the word would have made your story even more beautiful.

Grammar and narration:
There were some grammatical mistakes that you can improve with time and continuous practice. However, you need to concentrate more on your punctuation errors. Please don’t use two dots in your story to indicate pauses. You can use ellipsis to indicate omissions of words, phrases or sentences; otherwise even their use is not advisable, as they are not used for the purpose for which you’ve used them in your story. In addition to this, switching of point of views, not once but twice, in a short story tends to confuse the readers. I would advice you to use a third person’s POV if you wish to convey everyone’s feelings. That would have made it even better.

Remarks:
Overall, it was a sweet, cute story but I’m pretty sure you can do even better. All the best!

~ HEAL MY HEART BY angelshiva ~

Title and Cover:
A nice title that went pretty well with your story. A simple, pretty and eye catching cover. It found it really soothing.

Blurb:
A couple of words and it made straight into our hearts. Beautifully written!

Feedback on the story:
# It was a indeed a pleasant read. Our heart goes out to Arnik. His emotions were beautifully expressed.

# The plot as well as the characters was developed quite appreciably. Pearl was, undoubtedly, very sweet.

# Though the catch was used well but there were some possibilities of exploring the given word a bit more. Moreover, the story lacked the essence of relationship between Arnik and Pearl, be it love or friendship.

# But yes, the poetic lines, both in the blurb and the story were crafted beautifully, just like a cherry on the cake. 

Grammar and narration:
The narration of the story and the dialogues were quite good. But what you need to focus on is the grammar portion. There were a lot of fluctuations in the tenses which definitely affected the reading experience. A brushing up of grammatical and punctuation rules is advised.

Remarks:
All in all, I really liked your story. It was beautiful and with a little bit of more effort you can do wonderfully well. All the best!

~ BROKEN BUT BEAUTIFUL BY snowcrystal- ~

Title and Cover:
A simple and sweet title whose meaning was depicted in the story pretty well. The cover was beautiful and blended quite nicely.

Blurb:
The couple of lines with which the blurb started were beautiful. A pretty good one and had an impact!

Feedback on the story:
# A really good story with a generous amount of emotions, twists and some beautiful moments. The development of the bond between Eva and Aaron was shown beautifully.

# The way the catch was used was really appreciable but there was scope for a better usage of the given word.

# Moreover, the story seemed quite deviated from the given genre. It revolved somewhere between the new adult and the adult genre of romance.

# But undoubtedly, the unexpected twists and the ending made the whole journey quite enjoyable. 

Grammar and narration:
The narrations and descriptions were written quite well. However, the story lacked a bit when it comes to the grammar. There were a lot of fluctuations in the tenses which will definitely take some time to improve.

Remarks:
Overall, it was a really good story but you need to work on some parts to make it even better. You can do wonders. All the best!

~ MARRIAGE! SIGH! BY NikkithaKJ ~

Title and Cover:
It was quite a creative title that went really well with the story. The cover was nice but it lacked a bit of creativity. Addition of a few more elements related to the story and some better fonts would have made it even more appealing.

Blurb:
The blurb was really relatable as it had most of those questions that arise in everyone’s mind at one point of time. But I feel you can do better as I felt the curiosity factor a little missing.

Feedback on the story:
# That was definitely a very cute story. Aadya and Hitesh slowly made it into our hearts.

# The way you’ve tried exploring every relationship mentioned in the story is really appreciable.

# However, the word and the catch could have been used in a little better way. The emotions that these two carry had the possibility of a better expression.

# We could witness Aadya and Hitesh bonding, but the love between them felt a bit missing. Though, the plot was nothing out of the box, but the way you’ve written it made it interesting.

Grammar and narration:
The narration was gripping and the characters were developed well. The grammar in the story was quite good and the monologues in between made it an enjoyable read.

Remarks:
Overall, it was a good story and, as a writer, you can definitely do wonders. All the best!

~ SAPTAPADI – AGNISAKSHI BY IshaniDurbaPurkayast ~

Title and cover:
A nice title. I liked it! But please work a little on the cover of the story as that’s the first thing that a reader notices.

Blurb:
It was a simple and nice one but I wasn’t able to connect with it much. I think you can do much better when it comes to the blurb.

Feedback on the story:
# The introductory scene between Sakshi and the little girl was pretty cute.

# Though, the story jumbled in between the present and the past events, but that never tended to confuse the readers. That’s really appreciable.

# The story was carried nicely but seemed a little hasty at places. A little detailed narration might be able to do the job here.

# Though, the catch was used nicely, but you could have used the word in an elaborate manner. I don’t know why but it seemed a bit out of place.

# The ending was a bit abrupt and seemed incomplete, and something felt amiss in the relationship between Sakshi and Agni. A little more concentration on their relationship could have made the story even better.

Grammar and narration:
There weren’t any major grammatical errors. You can definitely improve it with a little bit of effort. A quick proof reading and editing is advised. The narration and description were quite good.

Remarks:
Overall, it was a nice story but there are a lot of scopes for improvement and you can definitely do much better. All the best!

~ BLURRED LINES BY Nita_Reid ~

Title and Cover:
Loved the title and the meaning that it carried along with it. Good one! The cover was nice and simple but with a little bit of creativity, it would be even more beautiful.

Blurb:
The blurb was written well but with a little bit of more effort, it would be more interesting. Good work at it!

Feedback on the story:
# From the beginning till the end, the way Avinash’s character was developed is really appreciable. From being confused because of what he had been taught by his father and the conflict of his emotions witnessing the plight of his mother and sister, to being enlightened by Roshini, everything was wonderfully expressed.

# The portrayal of the social message within such limited words was really impressive.

# You’ve used the catch quite well but I found the usage of the given word somewhat incomplete. A bit more effort in that regard would have made your story even better.

# Moreover, something felt missing in the way Avinash and Roshini bonded. I felt that the space given to the way they bonded was comparatively lesser.

Grammar and narration:
The narration flowed quite beautifully. Your selection of words is pretty good, simple yet effective. Your grammar is nice but I think you need to brush up the old school grammar book once again. There were some punctuation errors as well. So, I would suggest a quick proof reading and editing.

Remarks:
Overall, it was a really good read. Though, the plot was something we’ve always heard about but the way you’ve expressed it was really wonderful. A bit more effort and you’ve a long way to go. All the best!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Hello everyone!

So, here’s the last set of reviews. We hope that it would be helpful for you all.

The Results will be announced in the morning tomorrow as we still need to do some evaluations and discussions. And it's all because of you people and the tough competition you've given to each other.

See you all soon!

Happy Wordsmithing!

Love,
Stella & Asmi