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A L I C E

ALICE DUNLAP REMEMBERED LIFE at the prison, all too well. When she first arrived there, she never thought that her memories surrounding the place would've become so fond. As a means of avoiding her current predicament, her mind decided to replay the beginning of her stay there, over and over again.

She remembered Patrick. She remembered Elliot. She remembered the not-so-distant period of time when she used to loathe Carl Grimes. In just a couple of weeks, everything had changed.

A few weeks ago, Rick Grimes retrieved the girl from her cell block and practically forced Carl to teach her how to clean a gun. That of which, Alice already knew how to do, but—at that point in time—she was not one to mess with the boy's sense of self-importance. So she zipped her lips, gritted her teeth and endured the most awkward, passive aggressive twenty minutes of her life.

While Alice wished that she could say that Carl had her full attention during his reluctant, haphazard lesson, she accidentally focused in on Elliot and Patrick. They were sitting on the floor of the cell block, not too far from where Alice was, separated by nothing other than a cluster of legos. Patrick was doing the building and Elliot was doing the desperate gazing. They were so in love, blissfully unaware of everything that was to come.

Aside from the obvious distraction the girl was facing, she was inherently hesitant about Carl Grimes possessing a gun. She'd heard what happened the last time he was allowed to carry one, and was well aware as to why he was only allowed to clean it under Rick's supervision. Alice carried a certain suspense about her, as she carefully watched his every move.

Now, only a few weeks after having not trusted Carl with a weapon, was she depending on him to defend her with it.

The two practically stood back-to-back, with their weapons raised, immediately after Rick initiated a deadly confrontation with the people who were supposed to be greeting them. Carl Grimes, without a second thought, had become the one she trusted to cover her blind spot, despite the lingering awkwardness from their conversation in the woods.

After what seemed like running through a maze of gunshots, the group was finally cornered. They'd put up a fair fight, but didn't have the numbers they needed until they were unknowingly locked in a stationary train car with the only other people in the world that could help them figure out how to get out of this situation.

Amidst all the chaos, Alice never really found the time to think about the item from her past that she'd just seen. But as the silence crept in and the group dispersed to make their own weapons, the girl began to stir.

The other half of the group had somehow wound up in Terminus, accompanied by a few people they met along the way. Everyone for miles had to have seen the signs leading to this place, like there was some sort of missing person to Terminus pipeline. After all, there was a reason for the signs, just not one that benefited any newcomers.

To Alice, that only meant one thing; her father had found this place long before she did. And surely if the people had his belongings, his presence here was probably history. Now, she was only left to wonder if she would end up the same way—whatever that entailed.

"What did you want to be before all of this?" A voice echoed nearby.

Alice was a bit startled, as her focus was honed in on the bit of the wooden beam that she was aggressively using to sharpen another piece of wood. Out of breath, the girl turned towards the voice, although she didn't need to see him to know who it was. "What?"

"Like your dream job as a grown-up?" Carl nonchalantly matched her gaze, as she looked at him out of annoyance.

"I wasn't aware that we had all the time in the world to pull a weapon out of our asses." The girl remarked, before rolling her eyes and returning her focus back to the chunk of wood in her hand.

She was bothered that the boy wasn't taking this as seriously as she was. He made it seem as if her frantic state was over-kill.

"Need a hand?" Carl started again.

With a huff, the girl once again looked over her shoulder and was surprised by a perfectly sharpened piece of wood outstretched in her direction. She took the finished make-shift weapon out of Carl's palm, quickly replacing it with her work-in-progress.

The boy immediately got to work on the object, quickly rubbing it, at an angle, against a metal beam that lined the wall. Alice turned to face the inside of the train car, sitting with her back against the wall and her elbows planted on her propped-up knees. She noticed that Carl was no longer wearing his jacket, as the mangled pieces of the clothing sat on the floor, now lacking a zipper.

She twirled Carl's perfected piece of wood within her fingers, admiring his work as he continued to scrape away at hers. "So, about that dream job?"

"I wanted to be a scientist." Alice chuckled at the boy's persistence, as she continued to run her fingers along the sharp wood in her hands. She finally looked over at Carl, harnessing something other than a weight on her shoulders. "What was yours?"

"Never really had one." The boy shrugged as he pulled her piece of wood away from the wall, observing it. That didn't last too long as he quickly began sharpening it again. "We lived in a small town—King County. I always figured that I'd end up being a deputy just like my dad."

Alice sucked in a breath as the boy mentioned King County. Her last memory of that place was from the day her dad went running off, stranding her and Elliot.

"I had no choice but to dream about things like that." She huffed, with a smile. "My dad quit his job to take care of Ell—"

The sudden silence in their corner of the train car became deafening. The ongoing sound of the pieces of wood rubbing together came to a halt, before Carl cleared his throat and attempted to continue.

But, as the boy didn't feel right about carrying on, he quickly gave up on Alice's weapon and sat down next to her. His knee brushed against hers as he let out a breath. "Elliot would've been proud of you, Alice."

The girl allowed a small smirk to play along her formerly blank expression, as she nudged Carl with her elbow. "He'd be proud of you too, Carl."

"He'd be proud of both of us." Carl remarked underneath a low chuckle. "That we're finally—"

"Friends?" Alice interrupted him.

Carl raised his hands as he surrendered. "You said it, not me."

"Well, what were you going to say?" She rolled her eyes.

"I was going to say that we were finally getting along." Carl played it off, jokingly acting as if the words exhausted him. "But I guess your version works too."

"So calling this a friendship works for you?" Alice asked.

Carl let out a huff of breath, followed by a reluctant eye-roll. "I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

The two teens quietly chuckled amongst themselves in their dark corner, finding amusement in one another. To Alice, it seemed that there was never a dull moment if all of her moments were spent with Carl. If she had to be caged like an animal, she was just glad that they were in it together.

It was miraculous how Carl made Alice feel just an ounce of joy, despite the heavy thoughts about her father and brother being at the forefront of her mind. But the girl soon realized that she was probably doing the same for the boy, regarding Judith. Despite the interaction being an even trade, Alice would've enjoyed his presence even if she didn't need some cheering up.

The muted laughter died down, allowing things to once again become serious. Carl trailed off for a few moments, his hesitance being no secret to Alice. "Are we okay?"

There was no point in the girl acting oblivious, now. It was finally time to acknowledge what'd happened in the woods. "Of course, Carl."

"Are you sure?" He asked. "It didn't seem okay, back there."

"I might not be okay," Alice admitted. "But we are. I'm sorry that I snapped at you like that. You were just trying to h—"

"I was being annoying." Carl cut her off. The two looked away from one another, as they both tried to contain their smiles.

The girl let out a sigh. "Okay, maybe just a littl—"

"Alright," Daryl started, pulling the two teens back into reality. The man was firmly posted at the door, gazing out of the slightly parted gap. "We've got four of them pricks coming our way."

Alice inhaled a deep breath—one that didn't quite reach the bottom of her lungs—as everybody began to scramble into position. She and Carl both climbed to their feet, frantically attempting to situate themselves.

"Shit," Carl muttered, looking down at Alice's incomplete wooden weapon. He quickly dropped it and took the fully-sharpened one from her hand, ushering her into the corner. "Get behind me!"

She watched as the boy steadied himself in between her and the door, only for the door never to open. Instead, a downpour of light illuminated the train car, from a latch in the roof. Something was dropped in from the opening that caused a wider panic amongst everyone.

Alice only heard the clinking of metal against the floor before an explosion echoed within her ears. Carl winced, using his forearms to shield himself from the sparks, before the train car began to fill with smoke.

The group only had a fraction of a moment to react before their lungs were to succumb to the gas. Carl used his fraction to quickly pull his sleeve over Alice's face.

She didn't know what to think—she didn't have time to think. She didn't even have time to breathe in the fumes before Carl attempted to put a stop to it.

Alice balanced the boy as he slowly began to go down, his hand falling from her face and his hat falling from his head. She lowered the both of them to the ground, preventing Carl from hitting his head as his body fought against the inevitable limpness.

Once he was out, the girl looked around, still attempting to hold her breath. Everybody else was unconscious—or dangerously close to it—as well.

The creaky, metal door clanked as the men opened it and began to drag out a few people. Alice couldn't see who was being taken, through the thick layer of smoke.

She, once again, felt like a powerless bystander as her vision became more and more blurry. She extended a weak arm in the direction of the door, watching as the indecipherable blobs of light bounced around. The girl was having a war against time and gravity as she could feel herself further embracing the floor, slowly losing the integrity in her muscles.

Alice continued to fight off her own breath until the door to the train car finally closed. The absence of light allowed some sort of false protection that cradled her frantic mind as her thoughts came to a halt.

☆

Although it seemed like most of Alice Dunlap's problems were over ever since the group had escaped Terminus and reunited with Carol, they were only just beginning. While the girl wished that she could bask in the joy of having somehow survived, barely making it out of a community that went up in flames, she couldn't help but notice what Carol brought with her.

In addition to saving everyone's asses, the woman had the liberty of returning a few stolen items that belonged to the group. Along with Daryl's crossbow and Rick's watch, she turned up in the woods with the backpack.

Alice's eyes locked on the object, as she wondered why Carol made it a point to grab something that shouldn't have been familiar to her. The girl tried to write it off as coincidental scavenging. It was killing her to think that her father had been scavenged from, but Alice's instinct told her that this ran much deeper than she was piecing together. As the group trekked through the woods with the aim of meeting Judith and Tyreese, it was the only thing on her mind.

It was quite the long walk from Terminus to the promised cabin, especially knowing what awaited them. Alice had to walk shoulder-to-shoulder next to an eager Carl, who juxtaposed her eerie demeanor. "Thanks, by the way."

"For what?" The boy questioned, kicking a twig out of his way.

"For what you did, back there." Alice offered him a smile. "It almost worked."

The girl hadn't let the downpour of chaos shield her thoughts from the fact that Carl had once again fought for her. Despite every bone in her body telling her not to, she was becoming too comfortable. She could feel her guard coming down, but the worst part was that she didn't mind it.

Carl Grimes was a teenage boy, of course, and anything that wanted to get to Alice would have had  the same difficulty getting through him first. But the part that made her feel special was how he always had her back, despite the redundancy. She had someone on her side, and she grasped onto every lingering moment of the feeling like it was a warm blanket.

"Oh, yeah." He sucked in a breath, seeming a little hesitant about the subject. Alice found amusement in his embarrassment. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"It worked out for the best." The girl let out a chuckle, not out of humor but to fill the silence between her words. "I think I stopped us from hitting our heads. I don't really remember, though. It was all a blur."

Carl took his eyes off of the ground, looking over at Alice. The boy flashed an elated smile, one that she wished she could've taken a picture of. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head?"

"What makes you say that?" The girl got defensive.

"Your memory loss." He teased.

"Oh, I remember what happened," Alice rolled her eyes, pulling her gaze away from Carl and instead placing it back on her own feet. "And I kind of wish that I didn't."

The girl's words were meant to be playful, but the depth of their situation seemed to sink in as she noticed Carl look away, as well. "What do you mean?"

Alice sucked in a large breath, letting it out as a sigh. "It's just—I saw them being taken, and I couldn't do anything to stop it."

"It seems like being hard on ourselves—feeling powerless—is kind of all that's left for us now, doesn't it?" Carl asked. "Especially when it comes to the people we care about."

Alice Dunlap was simply appalled at the words coming from his mouth. She was surprised at Carl's ability to articulate something of such a heavy amplitude, despite the boy seeming less affected by everything that'd happened to them.

"You feel like that too?" She asked as her boots continued to trudge through the leaves of the forest floor. It was then that the girl felt guilty, now knowing that Carl was experiencing the same feelings as her. Alice didn't know why, but realizing that he had been subject to all of this mental torture somehow made her feel even worse. "You just seem so put together."

Carl shrugged underneath Alice's gaze. "I guess that's just something else we do for the people we care about."

With just one sentence, the boy had transformed her mood completely. Alice, at first, felt horrible that he felt as powerless as she did—that she didn't even notice how badly Carl was impacted by all of this. But now, she felt honored that the boy cared enough about her to shield her from his emotions. Carl admitting to putting on a brave face just for her allowed the conversation to embrace a whole new atmosphere.

The two glanced at one another—their usual testiness at play. Carl was upholding his message, trying to see how Alice perceived it. It wasn't until the bashful smile took over her face, involuntarily, that Carl finally allowed himself to loosen up. Their paces slowed, as they briefly forgot about the destination ahead.

As the two were walking nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, it was not a big deal to Alice that their hands brushed together. However, what took the girl by surprise was that Carl's hand stuck around, lingering for a few moments with the intertwining of their fingers.

Both of the teens looked down at their hands, completely engulfed in the moment. It wasn't until Rick and Sasha began to run towards the cabin on the horizon, that Carl and Alice realized what they were doing.

The boy allowed Alice's hand one gentle squeeze, shooting her an excited glance before picking up his pace and leaving her palm out in the cold. Alice watched the reunions taking place as she walked with the others. Seeing Judith Grimes in the flesh was one thing—seeing Rick and Carl beam at the sight of a baby who had beaten all odds was another.

Sadly, for Alice Dunlap, what'd happened to her family was irrecoverable. There were no odds or chances left to grasp onto. There was only mystery. She didn't know why, how or even who was involved with what happened to her brother and father. The only thing that she did know was that she'd never be as lucky as a Grimes.

☆

Alice Dunlap had never really gone to church. She thought of most religious people as selfish—like they only went to church whenever they needed something. And the girl was there because she needed something: shelter.

She could never have pictured herself willingly spending time inside of a church, let alone watching people raising a toast with cups filled of the sacramental wine to commemorate their agreement to pursue a cure. While what she was seeing was awfully strange, the peculiar sight wasn't what kept Alice from celebrating.

She couldn't quite allow herself to match the moods of everybody else as they merrily ate and drank, talking amongst each other. Her paper plate, filled with warm beans, sat on the floor next to her, untouched. The thought of her father having gone through what Rick, Glenn, Daryl or Bob had described was enough to keep her from eating. But the girl had to continuously curb her nausea at the slightest thought about the backpack sitting just across the room from her.

As Rick and Carl were busy soaking in Judith, and the rest of the group began to settle in for the night, Alice found her opportunity as she saw Carol heading towards the church doors.

The girl quickly stood from the floor, making her way down the aisle. "Hey, Carol?"

The woman turned around, seeming a bit preoccupied but still taking the time to see who it was. Carol was always like that—busy. What wasn't like Carol, though, was wearing the distraught look that overcame her face when she laid eyes on the girl.

The woman was never caught off guard. It was almost as if she sought to avoid Alice. "What is it?"

"I—um," The girl tried to spit out. "I have kind of a weird question."

Chills cascaded down Alice's spine at Carol's lack of confusion. Much to the girl's dismay, the woman seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. "Why don't we step outside?"

Alice allowed Carol to usher her out of the heavy church doors, as the two walked out onto the porch. The girl didn't even know where to begin as her heart started to pound. But, there was no need for the girl to begin speaking, as Carol placed her hands on Alice's shoulders.

"I did it, okay?" Carol started, bending down to Alice's level. "It was me."

The girl's eyebrows furrowed out of confusion, but her parted lips didn't move.

"I—I thought that I had to stop the illness from spreading," The woman began choking up, amidst her heavy words. "Sweetheart, if I could take it back, I w—"

"W—What illness?" Alice coldly step backwards, forcing Carol's hands to fall from her shoulders. "The one that killed Patrick?"

An answer wasn't needed, damage control was. "You deserved to know. You deserved the truth and you deserved to hear it from me."

Carol continued to talk, but Alice could no longer hear her. Her mind was occupied from corner to corner by the information that'd never even occurred to her.

She never knew why Elliot died in such a manner, and now that she knew why it happened, the who didn't make any sense. Carol was supposed to be the one watching over the people who were in quarantine, but instead the woman took it upon herself to try and eliminate the threat they posed. As if what she did could've ever prevented the mayhem that occurred despite her efforts. Elliot died in vein.

After a few moments, Alice finally tuned back into the one-sided conversation, right as the woman reached a conclusion. "I was trying to find the right time to tell you, but there really is no right time with something like this."

The girl stared at her, her eyes beginning to form tears. However, her tears weren't from sadness. They burned with a salty warmth that could only come from a seething anger. Alice had never felt this kind of rage, before. She didn't know how to channel it. After all, no matter what the girl felt, nothing could make her situation better. Nothing could bring Elliot back.

Alice Dunlap decided to quit while she was ahead. All that the girl had left was grace, despite the anger that was radiating a heat off of her skin and the sinking feeling that she was harboring in her stomach.

Alice raised her hand, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Thank you for telling me."

☆

The night seemed far too quiet in comparison to the constant buzzing inside of the girl's head. She sat on the front steps of the church, not quite finding it in herself to attempt to blend in with the rest of the group's glee, and aiming to wait until everyone had fallen asleep to go inside.

Carol left her alone several minutes ago to go fuel a car that she'd found earlier, alongside Daryl. Alice found it funny that the woman had just dropped such a bomb on her life and somehow continued to go about her night as if nothing was wrong. The girl, deep down, knew that there was no time for slowing down in a world like this, but it still felt wrong.

Everything felt wrong. Alice sought answers about her father and uncovered an entire narrative that she'd been completely oblivious to. The girl, still riddled with unanswered questions, began to wonder what else had been going on right underneath her nose.

The church door briskly opened before someone stepped down onto the steps, letting the door swing shut.

By the sound of his heavy feet approaching her, Alice was not surprised when Carl sat down next to her. The boy extended Alice's abandoned plate of beans toward her. "You're supposed to eat this."

"And you're supposed to be asleep." The girl took the plate from his hands.

Due to their close proximity, Alice could feel his shoulder shrug. "At least I'd be going to sleep on a full stomach."

The silence crept in, as the girl felt no need to fill the air with her voice. Her mind had become too overpowered by everything to even partake in her usual banter with Carl. Though the boy had obviously noticed her hesitance, he readily indulged in the quiet moment.

Alice wanted to tell Carl everything, of course. He'd become her confidante—the one person who she naturally wanted to share everything with. But she thought, over and over again, about what he said earlier. Sparing Carl's overuse of empathy was worth hiding the truth, as well as preserving any bond that the boy might have had with Carol.

It felt weird to Alice as she finally decided on keeping everything inside. That was what she used to do, before everything at the prison went awry. A few weeks ago, nobody could have predicted that she'd ever want to share her feelings with Carl Grimes.

Adjusting to the comfort of the silence, the girl began twirling the plastic fork around, in her plate, as she rested her head on Carl's shoulder.

The warmth from the boy's body felt almost natural against her upper cheek. His long hair tickled her forehead, but she didn't mind. After a few moments, she could even smell him. He smelled of earthiness and a natural aroma that could only be described as Carl.

Alice almost wondered if the boy could hear her thoughts. It was silly, but the girl had become self-conscious of her sadness.

She sighed, closing her eyes as Carl adjusted himself around her cheek, sinking into the partial embrace. The small motion sent a tear—one that the girl didn't even notice was forming—dripping from her face onto Carl's arm.

"Oh, god." Alice pulled her head from his shoulder, clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, no." Carl started. His tone was unlike any she'd ever heard from him before. He was at her emotional beck and call, hanging onto her every word. "Don't be sorry. What's wrong?"

The girl swallowed a lump in her throat. "Please don't do that."

"Do what?" Carl became even more concerned. His eyes widened as he slightly leaned forward, subtly searching her face for answers.

Alice couldn't find the words to describe her predicament. She, herself, had no idea what exactly she was asking of Carl.

She wanted Carl to stop carrying her emotional burdens. She wanted Carl to stop being there for her. She wanted Carl to stop pretending to be okay, just to keep her at ease. She wanted him to stop caring so much. She wanted to stop caring so much about him.

She wanted him to stop looking at her with those big, blue eyes. She wanted him to pull away—to go back into the church and never look back. She wanted—she needed to stop feeling so many things, at once.

She needed Carl Grimes to stop being so painfully perfect.

Alice couldn't comprehend what was overcoming her. She didn't want to understand what was happening, as she began to lean forward.

She hesitated a bit, glancing from Carl's lips up to his eyes, only to find them already angled downward, locked on her lips. Earlier she'd wondered if Carl could hear her thoughts, and now she was putting every last one of them on display with such an act of vulnerability.

The girl slowly continued with the motion, only for Carl to begin inching forward as well. It was only a matter of time before the two met in the middle, all at once.

Her palm met his cheek. His hand slid farther along the step behind her, as he slowly leaned into the kiss. The two settled into each other, allowing a moment of desire for things other than survival. At this point in time, they were living.

What was once happening all at once, was over all too soon as the two quickly pulled away. Almost instantaneously, the teens were scared of what they'd just let happen.

"I'm s—" Carl stuttered, in between periods of his mouth gaping open. "I shouldn't h—"

Alice said nothing. Instead she began to nervously laugh, as her fingers entangled themselves in her own hair, on either side of her head.

She pulled her gaze away from Carl, looking out into the forest. "This can't be happening."

"What do y—" Carl started.

Alice never let him finish. She dramatically dropped her hands from the sides of her head, looking the captor of her first kiss in the eyes. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Well, we all feel a little crazy somet—"

"No, Carl." Alice sighed, rolling her eyes to a close. "This is different."

The boy folded his kissed lips together, sucking in a breath. "Try me."

As a means to distract from their kiss—to attempt to somehow explain it away, Alice Dunlap's plans of concealing the truth from Carl were thrown completely out the window.

"I found out who killed Elliot. It was Carol." The girl sarcastically laughed. "And the fucked up part is that I wasn't even asking her about it, when she finally told me. As if only one part of this is fucked up."

Carl's eyebrows furrowed, in thought, as he reacted to the information presented to him. "What were you asking her about?"

"It all started in Terminus. They had something that belonged to my father." Alice shrugged. "I—I thought that they'd gotten to him just like everyone who came before us. But Carol brought it back with her."

The boy said nothing, but continued to stare. Alice failed to notice the certainty in his expression as she continued to speak. "And after talking with the person who murdered my big brother, I still don't know why she felt the need to take my father's bag from Terminus."

Alice noticed herself talking at a quickened speed, and stopped her rambling in its tracks. She sucked in a breath, clearing the air for Carl to say something.

The boy always had something to say. As a matter of fact, he always said exactly the right things to make her feel better. But when she finally looked over at him, Carl Grimes was silenced.

Carl's demeanor seemed frozen over—like he'd just seen a ghost. His gaze seemed to burn right through her, as she could tell that his focus was set afloat anywhere other than this earth. He no longer wore the confused, intrigued expression, instead embodying a deer in headlights.

Alice's eyes subtly squinted, as the stiff boy continued to gape at her. Her breathing quickened as she began to piece together everything that she knew.

Carl was from King County, the place where her father was last seen. Just a few days ago, he asked her what she would choose if she had the option of knowing what happened to her father. Carol returning her father's bag was of no surprise to Carl, because he knew exactly what Alice was talking about. The bag belonged to the group.

Back at Terminus, Alice had counted on the boy to cover her blind spot. Little did she know that Carl Grimes had already been hiding in her blind spot for a very long time.

"Oh my god." Alice harnessed a wide smile, just underneath her building tears. She didn't care that she was sitting on the steps of a church, as she said the lord's name in vein. "You know something, don't you?"

The first on Alice's list of suspects was the governor. The man was a likely offender, as he was no stranger to doing that kind of thing for his own benefit. As were those people at Terminus—the community of which her father never made it to. He died a long time ago, and Carl Grimes had something to do with it.

Carl's gaping mouth slowly closed. His lack of a response was a response as the two teens, once again, communicated despite a lack of words.

Alice laughed, briefly looking upwards. Her tears traveled to the outer corners of her eyes as they began to build. Looking Carl in the eyes, once again, she never allowed them to fall. "How?"

The girl sucked in a breath, as Carl prepared to tell her the series of events. Subconsciously, she was hoping that he was going to tell her that she was crazy and that he didn't know what she was talking about. Instead, the tears in her eyes began to pour as the boy began to speak.

She listened to every painful detail as Carl hesitantly spit them out. It was almost as if his words were painting a picture in her head, as she didn't really hear them—she only absorbed them.

Once Carl seemed finished with the short story of the end of her father's life, she began to frantically shake her head, in denial. "You're Carl Grimes. Y—You ran into the tombs to save Sasha and Tyreese. You went out of your way to save me more than once. You—You're not the type to just look the other way."

"I'm so sorry, Alice." Carl pleaded. "I wanted to tell you, b—"

"I've been hearing that a lot today." She remarked along with the rolling of her watery eyes. Her voice cut deep despite the scratchiness in her throat. Alice's denial quickly turned into anger, as she could now see the completed portrait painted out of a series of connected dots.

"I asked you and you said that you couldn't handle it." He spoke with an urgency. "I was only trying to protect you."

"Protect me?" As the boy spoke, Alice noticed more and more nuances in what he was saying. There were so many obvious wrongdoings on his behalf, that she didn't even know where to start. So, instead, she decided to strike while the iron was hot. "How long have you been protecting me?"

Carl gulped. Of everything he'd just told her, it seemed like this was the hardest detail to reveal. "Ev—Ever since the night we went visit Elliot in quarantine."

"Oh my god." She repeated. Alice didn't know whether or not she was building a painful narrative in her head to make things worse, or if there was some truth to it. "That's what all this was about. Everything we've been through—you caring about me—it was all because you felt sorry for me?"

"Alice, no," Carl fumbled with his words. "That was real. All of it, I swear."

The girl, once again, began to laugh.

"Everything that I've said to you, I've meant." He started, with a firmness. "What I told you on the way to the cabin, the kiss—everything."

Alice had spent the entire evening being double-crossed. First by Carol, and then by Carl. But when it came to the boy, she was not only betrayed. Alice Dunlap was heartbroken.

She felt played—like a charity case. Everything that'd made the girl feel so special and comfortable was now ruined. Her fond memories shared with the boy were now clouded by the context of her father's death.

"I'm so sorry." The boy sat next to her, his eyes and mouth both agape as he waited for any kind of response from her.

Alice's eyes glanced around his tense face, trying to decide whether or not her memories of Carl were the only parts of the boy that were ruined, or if he was. "I need to be alone, right now."

"But Al—" Carl subtly reached out to her, in every sense of the word.

The girl wished that she could've accepted the advance—that she could take comfort from the same person who was causing her so much pain. He'd become her crutch, always there for her to lean on through the darkest of times. But Alice began to wonder if Carl Grimes was the one that had been keeping her life in the shade.

"Please." The girl shrunk in on herself, as there was nowhere else to turn to.

Carl sighed, holding his distraught stare on her for a few more awe-stricken moments. The boy ultimately ended up folding his lips, still having somewhat of an internal battle with himself, before inching away from her.

He slowly stood from the steps, travelled across the porch and rested his hand on the door handle. "I—I'm sorry."

The opening and closing of the church door sounded exactly the same as when the boy first came to greet Alice with her plate of beans. Except so much had seemed to collapse in on itself since the last time that door was opened.

The girl looked down at the plate of beans in her lap, no longer having the stomach to even be around it. Out of impulse, she grabbed the plate with her fist, forcefully throwing it into the grass. Her breathing quickened as she burrowed her head in her hands, repeatedly shaking it back and forth.

She tried to calm herself, still carrying the instinct to control her volume. Her silence was more important than ever, considering all of her weapons were back at Terminus.

Once her sobs finally became less frequent, the girl was able to hear something in the distance. She picked her head up from her hands, glancing at far-away glares of light bouncing off of the trees. The powerful light source was coming around the bend, as was the distant humming sound.

It was the irrefutable sound of a car. The moving headlights casted intricate shadows of the tree leaves, those of which Alice couldn't see in detail because of her watery eyes.

Alice slowly stood from the porch steps, attempting to blink away her tears as she prepared herself for her first inevitable encounter with someone she wished to avoid. She figured that Carol and Daryl had finally gotten fuel inside that car, and wanted to park it nearby before turning in for the night.

The girl stood by the side of the road watching the car finally begin to approach her as it appeared from behind the trees. She shielded her damp eyes with her raised hand as she came into view of the headlights. Alice could hear the crunching gravel and leaves getting closer as the car veered to her side of the road. She assumed that whoever was driving would slow to a stop, with the intention of pulling over right beside her.

But, after that day, Alice Dunlap should've learned never to assume that intentions were good. Because the driver of the car was not Carol nor Daryl, and the car, itself, never came to a stop.

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6488 words
May 11, 2023
11:23 PM

A/N

first things first: after writing this chapter, I now know that Carol didn't take the orange bag from terminus. I've had this chapter planned since the start of the book and for SOME reason, I always thought that Glenn took it from terminus. so I guess that they canonically get the bag back when Gareth attacks the church... oops... but JUST GO WITH IT OKAY

second: I wasn't originally going to have them kiss but I didn't have their first kiss specifically planned yet and the moment was RIGHT

third: HOSPITAL ARC HERE WE COME !! Alice got emotionally wrecked and then physically wrecked

fourth: I debated for SO LONG turning this chapter into two separate parts but after the last two updates came out late, and you guys keep being SO GOOD TO ME, I figured that it was time for a long part

five: fun fact! I never wanted to do another fic after extinction event, but I got the idea for Carl covering an OC's face and trying to stop her from passing out at terminus. That was the FIRST time I thought of making a second Carl fic. then that idea just snowballed from there.

I'm so beyond excited for you guys to see the s5 edits I've made. there are a LOT that I've been keeping up my sleeve and A LOT more that I could make bc I've been hoarding scenes

edit: I'm inserting this AI-generated picture here because this is EXACTLY what the last scene looks like, in my head.

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