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A L I C E

ALICE DUNLAP'S SPIRALING HAD finally turned her full-circle. She'd resorted to her old ways—ones that almost would've reminded her of her bumpy past, had they not been rooted in such avoidance.

But avoidance of her scrambled feelings had become especially impossible after waking up to the bulk of their source sound asleep on her floor, right next to her bed. After silently crying herself to sleep the previous night, the girl felt that she'd blown off just the right amount of steam that would finally allow her to twist the lid shut on the shaky bottle of her own emotions.

Carl was still fast asleep on the floor. He was on his back with his hands folded over his chest. His positioning showed an easy awakening, as if he'd be ready to fight at any slight sound.

Only one blanket covered him, contradicting his search for another in the middle of the night.

Alice figured that his search had been in vain—that maybe he couldn't hear her groggy mumbling when directing him toward another. She felt guilty that he'd probably spent the rest of the night out in the cold, just for her sake.

The girl carefully tip-toed around the sleeping boy as she removed her tangled sheet off of her bed, fluttering it a few times in the wind before draping it over him. She figured that the last few minutes of his slumber should at least be somewhat enjoyable.

Once another layer was atop Carl Grimes, Alice began to head towards the hallway. She quietly opened and closed her bedroom door as she crossed the hall and entered her bathroom.

The girl was afraid to flick on the bathroom light, as she could already predict her wretched appearance before even seeing it in the mirror. She knew that her eyes would be puffy and that her lips would lack color.

Alice went straight for the sink, turning on the faucet and scooping water into her tear-stained face. The splashing woke her up more and more, before she finally decided to grab the hand towel off of the rack and pat her face dry. Only then was it time to get a good look at herself.

She slowly folded the hand towel over her healing wrist, raising her other finger up to the light switch.

Her appearance was not as jarring as it once was. The under eye bruising from the hospital was long gone and it was evident that she was no longer living on an empty stomach. The pimple that was haunting her every paranoid thought, just yesterday, had dulled a slight bit.

Alice Dunlap could've looked worse, and that was enough.

The girl huffed to herself before placing the damp towel back on the rack. She flicked the light switch off and prepared to return to her room, finally illuminated by the long-awaited light of day, where Carl could finally face just exactly who he was speaking to last night.

But when she opened her bedroom door, Carl Grimes was no longer there. Two crumpled blankets had taken his spot on the floor, and his flattened pillow had been returned to the head of her bed.

An unsettling emptiness hollowed out her insides for only a second. His unexpected absence made the girl realize just how much she looked forward to his presence. And that immediate sense of discontent and worry was not something that Alice wanted to feel again.

She needed to read into the situation less than she had already allowed herself to. It was clear that Carl didn't feel the same way—whatever that way was, she had no clue.

☆

With a jurisdictional battle going on within the walls, Alice finally felt that it was time to share her side of things. It became Glenn's word against Nicholas' and the girl knew which version of events Deanna was more likely to believe in the aftermath of her own son's death.

She had not given her statement the day before, upon her return, because Glenn sent her home. The man knew that Alice needed to be alone, dismissing her for the evening although his remorseful eyes had seen all the same things.

It was not easy recalling the explosion, the struggle and the death that'd occurred during their run, but Alice Dunlap spoke the truth through her teary, tortured eyes. She hoped that she would get through to Deanna, although the woman still seemed uncertain on the manner. Alice knew that something awful was brewing within the dividing community, she just didn't know what would come of it.

The girl knew that she was not alone. Many members of her group did not seem to be adjusting well to their new life. As they'd all scattered about, that day, the girl struggled to find someone to bask in the familiarity with.

Sasha, Rosita and Michonne had disappeared beyond the walls. Daryl and Aaron went on a run to see if Daryl was a fit for his new job. Glenn was keeping a close eye on an untrustworthy Nicholas. Rick was on patrol, bordering the line of tension between the merging communities. And Carl was anywhere but where Alice visited. She'd not seen him since that morning.

The girl finally settled on visiting the one person who she knew would not be going anywhere: Tara. The lady was unconscious and Alice figured that unwilling company was better than no company.

After several minutes alone with the woman, Eugene came to visit, as well. Alice became thoroughly impressed by the sheepish man and his act of bravery that'd saved the woman lying in front of them.

The two first began to chat about Tara. They talked in circles, avoiding the common ground that they now stood upon. Alice found it surprisingly easy to understand what he was saying, as the two kept the subjects lighthearted.

She asked him about science, engineering, math—all of it. Eugene seemed to know what he was talking about.

"A lady your age should be getting sturdy use of the quadratic formula, right about now." He started.

Although she didn't believe a word of what was about to come out of her own mouth, Alice began to speak, anyway. "I'll know all about it, someday."

"With your wit and grit, I do believe your sights would be better set on finding a cure for all of this, on said day." Eugene said. Alice figured that it was his idea of a joke. It was always hard to tell what his words meant. "A different decay algorithm would better quench your formula thirst."

Alice involuntarily squinted her eyes in confusion. "Noted."

"In the meantime, it seems like sorghum production should be moved to the head of the priority list." The man started. "That there is a criminally underrated strain that could..."

The girl's squinted eyes shifted their gaze from an uninteresting Eugene, outside the infirmary window behind him as somebody quickly ran past it. It wasn't long before somebody else followed the same path. And then another. And then another.

She'd unknowingly tuned the man out as her concern grew larger and larger. People never really ran behind the walls, because there was no need.

"I—I forgot—" Alice interrupted the man's ongoing voice. Her feet began to move as she frantically switched her gaze between Eugene and the crowd building at the end of the street. "I was supposed to meet F—Father Gabriel about something."

There was no time for Eugene to react as Alice was instantaneously out the front door. Her feet quickly pattered down the wooden steps before their thuds echoed throughout the busy street.

It was from a distance that she finally caught sight of the scene that'd drawn in so much focus. Rick Grimes and Pete Anderson, bloodied and rolling around on the pavement, had the undivided attention of a community that had not yet experienced such violence.

Alice knew that there were differing reasons for the frantic behavior of everybody surrounding them. Her group was in a panic because this festering situation was not going to help them get out of the hot water that yesterday's run had gotten them in. Everybody else was concerned with the quickness at which Rick would be sent out the front gates. Everybody associated with him was still on trial, and this was yet another piece of evidence.

She watched with wide eyes, parted lips and a heaving chest as she stood there helplessly. Rick Grimes could handle himself, but the repercussions the entire group would face were the difference between their life and their death.

With her stare locked on the two scrambling men, Alice almost didn't notice Carl Grimes approaching the scene. That was until she saw who was following right behind him: Enid.

Her eyes twitched to a brief squint at the other girl before they ultimately followed Carl as he attempted to pull his father off of Pete Anderson. She did not have time to feel anything about the two being seen together, as everything began to happen too fast. A gasp left her mouth as Rick used his elbow to toss Carl off of him and onto the pavement.

Alice's eyebrows furrowed as she focused in on Carl. He began to clamber backward, watching intently as his father rounded Pete into a chokehold.

Rick's sinister stare brewed for the moment that it took Pete to succumb to his lack of oxygen. He muttered threats to the man, threats that Alice could not perceive under the duress of the people in front of her.

Now that the fighting had reached its end, the true chaos was only just beginning.

As the people of Alexandria began to plead with a bloodied Rick, the man seemed to do the impossible. In an instant, he'd had a gun cocked and aimed at the people who were already terrified by his actions.

The girl's eyebrows furrowed as she slowly yet suddenly began to put all of the pieces together.

Carol was not acting alone in her schemes, nor was she ever. This was all part of a bigger backup plan, a plan that was now publicly being teased—or threatened—as a viable option. Rick, Carol, and whoever else was in on this were ten steps ahead of Alice Dunlap and they had been this entire time.

☆

With one blow to Rick's head, Michonne managed to end the brawl that was now the talk of the town. Although the entirety of Alexandria was now used to the sinister silence, Alice Dunlap had finally found herself listening to the sound of the heavy ball of her and Carl's relationship bouncing around in her side of the court.

Just like that, it was now her turn to tend to the boy—to make sure he was okay. With his father's membership of the community seeming to expire soon, the burden on Carl's shoulders seemed to finally begin to form cracks in his foundation.

The girl approached his bedroom door, which was slightly cracked open. She listened for a few moments, pondering the possibility of someone else beating her to the boy's comfort. She immediately felt guilty, knowing that she was beginning to factor in actual problems to whatever was going on between Carl and Enid.

Alice slightly huffed, fluttering her eyes to a brief close before placing her fingertips on the surface of the door, gently pushing it open.

After all, Carl was there for her when Elliot was locked away in death row. And again, he was there for her throughout each installment of grieving for her father—as much as he could've been, anyway. And once more, he was there to distract her from the memories of Noah's death replaying across the backs of her eyelids, just the day before. Things happened fast in Alexandria, and Enid would always become last on the long list of Alice Dunlap's problems.

To her relief, nobody was in the room except for Carl Grimes. Alice even questioned if the boy was completely there, himself. The room still felt empty, despite his presence.

He was lying on his bed, atop the sheets. His stare was locked on the ceiling above him, not acknowledging the girl who had now fully stepped into the room. It was unknown if the boy even knew of her presence or just simply did not care.

"Hi." Alice said.

Carl said nothing, at first. A few blinks took place here and there. "Hey."

His voice was complacent, as if muttering a simple word was something he had to deal with. Alice wondered if the boy's own existence had become something that he had to undergo.

The girl took in a slow, unsure breath. Her eyes stared over at the boy who still avoided them. She slowly made her way across his room, the place where the two previously sat in another silence, as the girl did their homework. Now, Alice was there to complete an entirely new agonizing task.

The girl slowly sat on the corner of his bed, taking up only the tiny bit of space allotted for her before Carl took it upon himself to move his outstretched leg. As the boy settled into a new position to welcome her presence on his bed, she felt less ashamed of it, entirely.

But although being hosted by Carl, Alice was the one to set the scene. She'd taken center-stage by entering his room, and now it was her turn to make her visit worthwhile. That was easier said than done; ripping off the emotional bandage. She wished she could just spit something out already, but the girl felt as though her metaphorical skin would tear right off, with it.

Alice finally opened her mouth to speak. "How are y—"

"I thought it would make it easier." The boy muttered. His voice was monotone, as he continued to stare at the ceiling.

"What?" The girl furrowed her eyebrows, intently searching his face for answers.

"I thought that if I could just do this one thing, that we could make it work—living here, we could make the best of it." Carl finally removed his stare from the ceiling, glancing at the girl who sat across from him.

Alice took in a sharp breath, slowly working herself up over the boy's mysterious demeanor. "If you could do what?"

Carl said nothing for a few moments. His chest slowly moved up and down with every breath.

"If I could stay away from you." He hesitantly said, matter-of-factly. The boy slightly shook his head, allowing his long hair to gently bounce atop his pillow.

With parted lips and nothing to say, the girl continued to stare at Carl for answers. He said nothing, for a few moments. His lips parted and closed a few times, as he returned his gaze back to the ceiling, trying to find such words.

The two sat in silence for a few more seconds. The time seemed to drag on as Alice's mind raced with ideas. She was about to hear things that she'd been curious about for weeks, not knowing that there was a deliberate method to his madness.

"Now, we might not even get to live here." Carl sighed. "And it would've all been for nothing."

Alice had no intention of speaking as her mind begin to factor in everything that had been going on around them. None of this had to do with the adjustment to Alexandria, or the loss the two endured, or even Enid. It had to do with whatever was going on inside of his head. The girl attempted to wrap her head around the reality of a situation that she'd perceived as nothing but teenage weirdness.

"How would it have made things easier?" Her voice sounded out in such a small way that even she didn't expect to hear.

Carl slowly sat up from his position, using his hands to lift himself as he crossed his legs, turning his body to fully face the distressed girl. He let out a sigh. "It was just one less thing to complicate our lives—your life. The things that you've seen—I don't th—"

"I don't think that's your call to make." Alice interjected. Her voice was no longer soft and broken, but affirmative. "So I don't get a say in any of this?"

"Alice, that's not what I'm saying." Carl began to shake his head. He began to loosely motion with his hands. "I thought maybe you'd enjoy living here—that it would be better for the future—our future."

"How could we have a future if we don't even have a present?" She quickly shrugged, becoming passionately engrossed in the discussion. "This entire time, I've needed you by my side and you weren't there."

"I was there when it counted." Carl sternly defended himself. He seemed more offended by the accusation implying that he didn't care, than trying to take away from how right she was. "I can't stand it when you're in pain, you know that. It's been absolute hell staying away from you."

He was right. Both Carl and Alice knew what the girl meant with her words. But Carl was there for her, from a distance, only creeping in when he felt was necessary. The girl didn't know exactly how she felt about all of this, though. Some kind of slimy behavior from the boy left a bad taste in her mouth.

"Then why do it?" She shrugged, exhaustedly.

"I—I," The boy stumbled on his words, as he intently looked in her eyes. "I thought that someday, down the road, we could just start over. Just knowing you were safe here would've been enough for me, until then."

Alice hated the way that her heart thumped at his words. Carl Grimes, for once, had a plan. The plan revolved around the girl and her wellbeing. His immediate suffering in exchange for a better future between the two. Although she was peeved that he was making decisions for her, she could feel the pain in his eyes, as they darted all around her face trying to read her mixed expression. He was being genuine. There was no leader complex—no childish games or lies.

"I just felt like the longer I stuck around, the farther we moved backwards." He sighed. "And now it might all be for nothing."

"Not nothing," The girl gently retorted, shaking her head and lowering herself into Carl's droopy gaze. "I'm still right here. I'm not going anywhere."

The boy lifted his eyes to meet hers. Instead of a sincere glance, he offered her a slightly squinted stare. "Are you sure about that?"

Alice immediately felt as though she should be on defense, but she didn't know what for. She was definitely being accused of something, but she did not know exactly what. "About what?"

"Nevermind," Through parted lips, Carl let out a heavy breath as he shook his head. "It's nothing."

His stare returned to the soulful longing embodiment of pain that it once was. He could never stay mad at the girl for very long, if at all. What he was angry about, however, Alice Dunlap had no idea.

"Are you sure?" The girl continued to pry. "I feel like we should just get everything out in the open, while we're already at it."

"Oh yeah?" The corners of the boy's lips arose ever-so-slightly, as Alice realized that she'd finally showed a little bit of her cards that'd once been held so tightly to her chest. "Like what?"

Alice began to squirm and Carl could definitely tell. There were so many things over the past few weeks that she wished she could say to the boy, but now that the time had finally arrived, she was drawing blanks. In the moment, she could only remember one thing.

She rolled her eyes. "Like what's going on between you and Enid, for example."

Carl's face continued to sink into the amusement granted to him by the girl. Alice no longer cared that she was the one being vulnerable. If something was going to come out of this painful conversation, she wanted answers.

"What about me and Enid?" The boy teased.

Alice began to grow angry at his amusement, as this thought had been buzzing around in her head ever since they first laid eyes on the girl. She knew there were questions to be asked about the two, but she no longer wanted Carl to have the satisfaction as she tried to finally ask the right ones.

"I don't know." She shrugged. Her tone became entirely serious, as to deter his playful glance. "You tell me."

"Wait," He started. His facial expression quickly settled into a delightfully shocked glance. "Are you being serious?"

The girl could feel her cheeks turning more and more red as she only hoped that Carl couldn't see them through the darkness. She abruptly tore her eyes away from his delighted glance as he began to chuckle.

"You know what? I think I'll go get some sleep." She began to stumble as she frantically stood from the corner of his bed. Her feet backed away almost as quickly as she could stand from the mattress. "Let me know how the meeting went, first thing in the morning."

The girl haphazardly met his gaze, only to see that he was still somewhat reacting to her suspicions. This embarrassed her even more.

She rolled her eyes at him, before turning and reaching for the door. "You have a goodnight, C—"

Alice expected the feeling of the cool, metal doorknob along her palm, as she fastened her grip in its direction. Instead, something pulled her away from the closed bedroom door, leaving her with a fistful of air.

"Alice, wait." Upon turning her head and lowering her gaze, she'd realized that it was Carl who'd gently grabbed at her other wrist. He was frantically leaned over the edge of his bed, as he used his grip on her to slowly turn her around.

The boy still held her wrist in his warm palm, as he stood from the bed to meet her gaze. Her head slowly tilted upward, as he reached his full height, now standing tall and towering over her, right in the middle of his bedroom. His grip on her was now the last on the long list of Alice's thoughts.

The two stood there for a few moments, awe stricken at Carl's actions. Neither of them seemed to know what was about to happen.

Between previously parted lips, the boy inhaled a short breath. "Come here."

Alice, for a moment, was left with an emptiness as Carl released her wrist, as she had no time to process his words. Before she knew it, the boy had snaked both of his hands around her waist, pulling her in, whether she was ready for it or not.

As if instinctual, her arms wrapped around his neck before she returned the favor, pulling him into a shared embrace.

He quickly rested his face in the nape of her neck, breathing in through her hair. She allowed herself to do the same, as she rested her chin on his shoulder.

The two stood in a heavy silence, still wrapping their heads around what was happening. Alice could feel Carl's heart rapidly beating against her own chest, which was shamelessly pressed up against him. They held onto each other as if any gaps between their bodies would tear them completely apart.

There was only one thing that could've pulled the two from the moment—that could pull their heads from their embrace, sending their glances in the direction of the moonlit window as Carl soothingly pulled Alice closer into his chest.

And that was the sound of one, echoing gunshot.

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3991 words
January 25, 2025
10:23 A.M.

A/N

anndddd that's a wrap on season 5!!!

so beyond excited for season six, you guys have NO idea

also sorry for being spicy with my little threat at the end of last chapter (it lowkey worked though) and sorry for not updating in a long periodically time...

hope you guys enjoyed this tasty chapter!!

☆vote if you did and/or did not miss me☆