不露聲色
bùlùshēngsè
Don't reveal your thoughts in your voice or countenance.
To not reveal one's true thoughts, to not show or betray one's feelings.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Zakhar kept his right hand on the wall of the tunnel and used it to guide him. Occasionally, he would pass an opening, another tunnel branching off to nowhere, and for a second his hand would hang in space, and Zakhar would suddenly feel very alone, suspended in nothing. Then his hand would meet the smooth sandstone again, grounding him in reality.

Faint voices echoed back to him, guiding him to where Sanli must have caught up with Ao. The light filtering back from Sanli's torch brightened with every turn Zakhar made. Zakhar ducked under a low part of the tunnel, where the rock had not been washed away evenly, then stood once more. Then he froze, realizing from the loudness of the voices and the brightness of the light that Sanli and Ao were just around the next bend.

"You're not crying, are you?" Sanli's voice.

Ao's snort sounded like the rasp of pebbles against the cave floor. "Why would I be crying?" she asked. "You think someone's never raised their voice to me before?"

"Zakhar didn't mean to yell," Sanli continued, "He just-"

"I'm sure he has his reasons," Ao cut Sanli off before he could continue, and Zakhar was grateful.

"Are you looking for something?" asked Sanli. The echo of their voices made Zakhar think that perhaps the tunnel opened out around the corner.

"I'm trying to figure out which tunnel leads to..." her voice trailed off, distracted.

"Leads to?" prompted Sanli.

"Leads to where I want to go," said Ao, then she sighed. "But I can't remember."

"You've been here before?" Sanli sounded surprised.

There was a pause, during which Zakhar heard the sound of rocks shifting beneath feet. When Sanli spoke again, the tone and topic of the conversation had changed.

"You never did tell me," he said, in a low voice, so low Zakhar had to lean around the corner to catch it. "How you know The Sixth God's prayer."

"And you never told me the question you want to ask The Sixth God if you find her," Ao countered.

"When I find her," corrected Sanli, and Zakhar heard Sanli take a step forward even as his voice lowered. They must be standing close together now. "I want to ask her which-"

"San!" Zakhar interjected, stomping around the corner. "There you are. Mind if I have a word?"

As he had thought, Ao and Sanli were standing close together in the middle of a large cave hung with huge stalactites. The torch was held aloft in one of Sanli's hands, the light from it flickering on the wet that ran down the ridged lines of the strange natural sculptures running from roof to floor.

At his interruption, they both turned to him, irritation on their faces. Zakhar wondered if it was directed at him. Probably.

Oh well, let them be irritated. What did he care?

"Ao, could I have a talk with Sanli about something?" Zakhar asked.

Ao's eyes, cool in the torchlight, studied him. Then she nodded and moved toward the tunnel Zakhar had just emerged from.

"Ah, you can take the light, I'll make another-" said Sanli after Ao.

Without turning, Ao dismissed his offer with a wave of her hand. "Don't need it." Placing her fingers on the tunnel wall, she disappeared into the darkness.

Zakhar listened to her footsteps fade, and then rounded on Sanli. "What are you doing?!" he hissed.

Sanli shrugged. "I'm just having a little fun. I find her interesting,"

"I thought you said something about her felt off," said Zakhar, trying to remind Sanli of his own first impression of the girl when they had met at the inn in Nan'ye.

Sanli's handsome face grinned roguishly. "Oh, something absolutely feels off. That's what makes her so interesting."

Zakhar expelled air through his nose and tugged at his beard. "Don't drag her into your shit, Sanli. This 'Sixth God' nonsense, don't involve her. It's bad enough Kageyama and I are going to swing along with you if you get caught, don't involve other—"

"Relax Zakhar," Sanli interrupted. "No one cares about that anymore. Everyone knows about the Sixth God. There are books and operas and all kind of nonsense about her. It's hardly forbidden to talk about her."

Sanli paused, and his eyes widened, then narrowed, and then sparkled mischievously. "I see. This isn't about the Sixth God, is it? This is about Ao. There's something there, isn't there?" He laughed at Zakhar's discomfort. "Oh my oh my, what will Liang'yi say?"

In response Zakhar swiped the torch from Sanli's hand and disappeared back up the tunnel, leaving the grinning green eyed man to hurry after or risk getting lost in the dark.

Ao was already asleep when they returned. Zakhar could tell by the even rise and fall of her chest. He lay down on his own bed roll and stared up at the ceiling of the cave long into the night.

*~*~*~*~*~*

He must have drifted off at some point, because the next thing he knew, grey light was creeping in from the dawn happening outside the cave.

Ao stood over him, one hand extended. Zakhar startled, twisting his bedroll. "Shi- you scared me."

"Come, there is something I want to show you," she said.

Zakhar took her hand and she pulled him to his feet with surprising strength. She walked to one of the tunnels that led off of the cave and disappeared into it, without fire or spell or anything else to light their way.

Zakhar took a deep breath and followed.

He ran his hand along the wall, the same as he had done the night before. This time there were no openings, just smooth stone. Zakhar followed the sound of Ao's soft footfalls ahead of him, though he wondered how she could move so quickly. The floor beneath his feet was rough and covered with chunks of rock, and several times he stumbled. It didn't help his boots were unlaced. Zakhar thought to stop and lace them, but worried he would lose Ao.

Suddenly the wall beneath his fingers disappeared entirely, and Zakhar realized from the way his footfalls echoed he must have reached an open area even larger than the cave of stalactites from the night before. He had no idea how big it was. He could see nothing. He listened for Ao's steps, but couldn't hear them. He reached forward, to the side, all around, but there was nothing. Nothing but black.

His breath started to come faster, without his permission. He tried to focus on the cave floor beneath his feet, the rasp of stones beneath his boots. He was here, in the world. He was real.

"Ao?" He asked shakily, arm outstretched. "Are you there?"

In answer, he felt a hand take his sleeve and softly tug him forward.

They entered another tunnel, Zakhar knew, because the echo of their footfalls changed. The sound doubled as it bounced off the walls, and it seemed there were ten people in the tunnel instead of two. Zakhar could still see nothing, but the tunnel wall beneath his fingers and the occasional pull at his sleeve helped calm him.

After what seemed an eternity of walking in an abyss, Zakhar thought that a shade of grey had been added to the black. A shade lighter, then lighter, until with relief that washed over his whole body as he was able to dimly make out Ao's outline leading him. It was indeed getting brighter.

They entered another cavern, this one lit by a jagged crack running high above like a bolt of lightning in the night. Through the crack, Zakhar could see a cloudy sky, gradually growing lighter and more pink.

Ao dropped his sleeve and pointed to a wall of the cavern, where the light fell across the rock.

"What do you see?" She asked him.

Zakhar approached the wall. As he did, virulent beasts jumped out at him, their carved claws and teeth all angles and lines. Their bodies were long and sinuous, but they weren't snakes, for they had feet, as well as spines along their back and grinning teeth filled jaws.

Dragons.

Zakhar raised a hand to the wall, tracing the ancient carvings. Dust and bits of stone came loose at his touch, and dropped to the cave floor with a soft patter.

"Dragons," said Zakhar, in answer to Ao's question. "This must be old... there are so many of them..."

"Yes," she said. "What else?"

Zakhar took a step back, then another, to be better able to see the carved mural in its entirety. It was at least five lengths high and twice as long, covering the entire wall of the cave. Roaring entwined dragons carved from floor to ceiling.

Then Zakhar noticed that all the dragons seemed to be cowering or snarling at one particularly large beast in the middle of the carving, a monster of a serpent, double the size of any of the others. While the other dragons all had three or four or five claws on each foot, the behemoth in the middle had more.

Six, in fact.

"Liu Zhua," Zakhar breathed.

"Yes," said Ao again, softer. She flexed her own hands, and the sound of her rings clinking together chimed in the still air of the cavern.

Ao took a breath and then spoke. "Dragons are proud, arrogant creatures. Out of all the Great Beast clans, they alone never had a leader, because none would submit to the other. But, when one more powerful and arrogant than they came along, they had no choice but to capitulate or die."

Zakhar had turned from the wall to Ao as she spoke. Her back was to the light, and in the shadows her expression was unreadable.

Her eyes ran across the carving one last time and then swung to Zakhar. "Even the dragons, the most powerful, long lived beings, cried and begged for a stay when death came for them. There is no shame in fearing death. In fleeing it. Fearing death means you value life. And there's nothing wrong with that."

Her gaze, which had been piercing and so unlike her usual flirtatious glances, dropped, and she cleared her throat awkwardly. "So what I mean to say is, well, I was wrong last night, in what I said to you. I'm.... sorry."

Zakhar stood dumb, fully shocked. Whatever he had expected when he followed Ao into the tunnel, it wasn't this.

Finally he collected his thoughts. "Thanks," he cleared his throat as well to cover his embarrassment. "Apology accepted."

Ao grinned at him, her smile bright in the dim light. She extended her hand for him to shake, a gesture he himself had taught her. "Friends again?"

Zakhar swallowed and tried to ignore the strange pang in his stomach when she said 'friends'.

He took her small hand in his own.

"Friends."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Although it was still cloudy when they left the cave that morning, to Zakhar it seemed a day filled with promise. A day where nothing could go wrong.

Ao walked next to him once more as they traveled, and they chatted about stupid, useless things. The advantages of having a beard. Who would win in a fight between a Dahu and a Dalong. The best place to get ale on the eastern coast.

As for the last question, Ao insisted a tavern located in the seaside town they planned to reach that night had some of the best ale, as well as a fantastic sea bass dinner.

"We don't have to stay," she said, glancing at Kageyama, who was glowering at the back of Makabe's ears. "But to miss their pale ale really would be criminal."

"I think we can afford one more stop," said Sanli. Ao cheered.

"Well, better hurry then gentlemen, they fill up fast," she said, striding forward on her lithe legs. Her wooden sandals slipped on the road, but she didn't seem to care, and hurried her pace all the more with each slip.

Around the next bend however, was something that halted her quick steps.

As one the group all cursed their respective curses and groaned. The heavy rain from the day before had caused part of the hill to give way and slide into the road, blocking their progress with mud and stone and the twisted corpses of up-ripped trees. It would be impossible for the horses to pass the tangled mess.

Kageyama sighed "We'll have to go back to the last turn and take the long way around. We won't get to the sea before dark."

"YOU won't get to the sea before dark," said Ao, starting to scramble over the landslide on all fours like a squirrel, the wet earth sliding down in small avalanches at her progress. "I'll be there before monkey hour. Have fun riding, boys."

Sanli chuckled and Kageyama tsked. Zakhar hesitated, then started to turn his horse.

"Wait!" At Ao's cry, the three men stilled their horses and turned back as one. "Lend me some coin," she said, hand outstretched.

"No," said Kageyama.

"What happened to the coin from the dress I sold?" asked Zakhar.

Ao's eyes flicked evasively heavenwards. "I just need a few silver. If I don't have coin, they won't seat me. No coin, no table, no ale. No sea bass."

"Do I care?" asked Kageyama.

Zakhar sighed and dug around in his saddle bag. He pulled out his purse, then tossed it up to where Ao stood on her landslide throne.

"Thanks!" She said, grinning like a child. "I'll save you the jaw."

"And some of the rest of the fish too, right?" teased Sanli.

The men began to leave once more, until Ao called out again. "Zakhar!"

Zakhar turned back in time to catch her umbrella, which Ao usually carried herself along with her canteen. Her pack and lute were already tied to his saddle.

"Carry that for me, yeah? Looks like it's going to be a clear day," then she turned and scrambled up over the small mountain of dirt and out of sight.

Zakhar turned Dunya to see Sanli make a motion like a cracking whip.

"Fuck you," he said, swinging Ao's umbrella at him, but Sanli only laughed, dodged, and spurred Little Light away.

*~*~*~*~*~*

They made good time, and reached the sea just as the sun was setting in the west behind them with a furious finale of pinks and oranges and purples. As Ao had predicted, the day had cleared, the sky becoming a beautiful washed clean blue. As the three men and their horses stood looking down on the eastern ocean spread out in front of them, it was hard to find the line where the darkening blue of the sky ended and the blue of the ocean began.

The road sloped sharply downwards. The small town they planned to stay in was squeezed between the base of the hills and the water. Houses started to pop up along the road as they made their way down it, small windows lit yellow as night fell, sounds of laughter and talk and the clinking of porcelain coming from within.

The sound of children playing reached Zakhar's ears, came closer, and sped by in a blur of evening tag that wound daringly around the legs of their horses. The wind off the sea blew on his face and brought with it the cool smell of salt and wide open ocean waiting for night.

They reached the main street of the town, where people still made their way to or from one of the local shops. A blacksmith's, a rope maker, a vegetable seller. There were a few small restaurants and bars, patrons going into and out of the open doors after holding aside the door curtains. The sounds of eating and drinking came from behind the curtains.

Toward the end of the street, facing the ocean, a long low building sat, with lots of long low windows looking out across the street to the water. The sounds of eating were especially loud from inside this building. A sign above the door gave the name of the inn Ao had talked about.

They rode around the back of the building and a stable boy met them, who informed the men that though there were still rooms for the night, the restaurant was almost full, and they would have trouble getting a table.

"It's fine. We're meeting someone," said Sanli.

The men took their gear (in Zakhar's case, Ao's as well) and turned their animals over to the boy. A maid showed them up a staircase to a narrow room with two double bunks perfectly slotted inside like a puzzle box.

"Top bunk," called Sanli, throwing his stuff onto one of the raised bunks.

After leaving their things, they made their way down to the busy restaurant. The three men stood at the bottom of the stairs for a moment, each scanning the crowded inn for Ao.

"She's not here," said Kageyama. He sniffed, wrinkling his nose at some offensive smell that Zakhar was glad he, with his ordinary human senses, could not pick up. "I don't think she was ever here."

Sanli flagged down a steward, who confirmed that no one matching Ao's description had arrived at the inn that day.

At the stewards words, Zakhar's stomach dropped, and he already knew the truth. Still, he wanted to pretend elsewise for a while longer. "Let's order and wait over there," said Zakhar, pointing to one of the few tables still available.

The men crowded around the small table and ordered. The sea bass was already sold out, but there was pork and vegetables, and the pale ale turned out to be just as delicious as Ao had claimed. The men talked lightly about no topic particularly, as though just filling time. No one said what they were all thinking.

Finally, several mugs of ale later, as the crowd around them began to start thinning, Kageyama declared he was turning in for the night.

He clapped Zakhar on the shoulder as stood, which was unusual as the dark eyed man usually avoided contact. "I hope you didn't have too much money in that purse," he said sympathetically, then turned and went up to the room.

Sanli sat with Zakhar a while longer. Although he could be cruel, Sanli also knew when to be kind. "Perhaps she got lost," he said. "Maybe she'll show up before we leave tomorrow?"

Zakhar shrugged. "Makes no difference to me. There wasn't that much coin in that purse anyway. I can probably sell the lute and get most of it back."

Sanli looked at Zakhar, opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it. He too patted Zakhar on the shoulder and left.

Zakhar ordered another mug of ale. He moved to a better table that someone nearby had vacated, one that had a view of the ocean. The moon had risen, and created a long wavering line of silver, like a floating bridge across the water that swayed with the waves.

The white of the moon on the water reminded him of the white of Ao's strange smile in the dark of the cave as she held out her hand for him to shake.

Zakhar put down his ale, looked out at the ocean, and made a decision.

*~*~*~*~*~*

❤️ Fanart by cupidities !