冷若冰霜
Lěng ruò bīng shuāng
As cold as ice and frost.
(Usually said of women) To have an icy manner.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As the air whistled past me, and the river hurtled toward me, I thought of one thing.

I can not let go of the little prince.

I cinched my arms tighter around Sanli's waist.

We hit the water with the force of a charging horse, and I felt the air knocked from my body. Even more than the impact, the cold was a shock, hitting my skin with such a burning that it was as if I had fallen into a kettle and not a freezing river.

Don't let go.

The current grabbed at us, and turned the prince and I over and over, dragging us against rocks. I knew better than to fight it, and instead let it take us, trying my best to shield Sanli from the worst of the impacts.

Don't let go.

I felt Sanli struggle against me, feebly trying to fight to get to the surface. Over the roar of the water in my ears, I heard the last of his breath escape from him in a great groaning bubble, and felt his body convulse in my arms.

He needs air.

I wrapped my legs around Sanli as well as my arms. The next rock the current threw us against I grabbed with one hand, nails folding and ripping as they dragged along the smoothed stone.

Grunting, the current trying to rush over us and push us both down, I pulled my and Sanli's head above the water.

"Little prince!" My voice was lost in the roar of the rapids. Sanli's face was pale as the river foaming around us. His eyes were closed, and he wasn't breathing.

I need to get him out of the water.

Even as I thought this, the current pulled at me, and ripped away my tenuous grasp on the rock.

We were whipped away downstream again.

This time I tried to keep Sanli's head above the water, legs furiously kicking at the river and my arms wrapped around his torso just below the shoulders. I was soon exhausted. My muscles burned even as the cold water numbed my skin beyond feeling.

Just let it take you. You will wake up somewhere, wet and cold but alive.

I would wake up, but Sanli would not.

I continued to fight the chaotic current, holding the prince's head above water, wondering how much longer I could.

*~*~*~*~*~*

At last after what seemed like hour in the rushing river, but was probably no more than a quarter that, the same current that threatened to drag us down or crush us against rocks delivered us to safety. I found myself washed up on a beach of small stones, river waves gently lapping around Sanli and my legs.

Panting, I stood and pulled the prince out of the water.

As I left the water, the cold bit into me like a dog's teeth. The freezing air of the mountains cut into my skin through my wet clothes. I immediately began to shiver.

One of the arrows in Sanli's shoulder had fallen out in the rapids, shaft, head and all. I realized that both wounds were shallow, as though the shots had been made from a great distance. That was probably the only reason Sanli was still alive.

I reached down and carefully snapped the other arrow off at the shaft, just above the head. Sanli grunted in pain, then coughed, and the water he had swallowed emerged from his lungs in coughing gasps.

After he had emptied the water from his lungs, the prince's breath came easier, less shallow than it had been. But he did not gain consciousness.

I knew we could not stay where we were, exposed by the river. "Come on, up you get," I said, pulling Sanli's arm over my shoulder.

I staggered away from the river toward the cliff face.

I had scarcely walked 20 lengths when exhaustion and the trembling of my legs forced me to stop. I lay the prince down and crouched down beside him.

"Fucking phoenix feathers, I am cold," I said to no one.

I wrapped my arms around my legs, trying to still their trembling. My mind was past the point of feeling the cold anymore. But my body still knew it was there, and that was why it had set my muscles a tremble, to try and warm me.

That's right. I looked down at the still form of the prince beside me. It is not just water and arrows. The cold can kill him too. I needed to find Sanli shelter.

I found it, in the form of a small, shallow cave not a hundred lengths from where I had set the prince down. It took my last remaining strength to carry the prince on my back, across the uneven rocks to the cave.

The cave entrance was low, and I had to get on my belly and worm through the entrance. But inside was considerably higher, enough for me to stand.

The walls of the cave were smooth, and I could tell the river had intruded here, and washed away weaker stone to make the cave. Much like the caves we had stayed in when I had first traveled with Sanli, Zakhar, and Kageyama through the southern reaches of the Green Kingdom months ago.

To one side of the cave a pile of leaves and twigs and... some kind of animal hair sat. It looked like some creature had once called this cave home.

"It will do, for now." I did not know who I spoke for. There was no one to hear but me.

I had to shift some stones, and dig away at the rough river sand to widen the cave entrance enough to pull the prince and his broader shoulders through. At last I did.

Once inside I stripped off my clothes and spread them on the sloping rock walls to dry. My fur cloak, my warm woolen tunics, my wool pants and the soft leather breeches beneath them. All of them I peeled off in sodden layers, like a butterfly molting from its sticky cocoon.

I pulled off my thick sheepskin boots, and water came out of them when I turned them upside down. Water and, thank the gods, Zakhar's knife, which had stayed put in its sheath throughout our trip down the rapids.

In nothing but my under things and a single wet shirt, I turned to Sanli.

"Time to remove those wet clothes," I said. Sanli still did not respond. His unconscious form lay sprawled on the loose stones and sand of the cave floor, arms at unnatural angles, like a dropped doll.

Grunting and heaving, I propped the prince in the pile of leaves. Then, carefully, so not to tug at the remaining arrow head in his chest, I removed his thick sheepskin coat, and then the layers of sodden tunics beneath.

I spread these out on the walls of the cave, then turned to inspect the arrow wound. It had stopped bleeding, and indeed was so shallow the head had almost worked its way out on its own already.

I will remove it after I start a fire.

I set to work on Sanli's trousers. I unbuckled his belt, with Tenzetsutou strapped to it. Placing the knife carefully to the side, I moved on to the ties of his trousers.

I had just started pulling the trousers down around his muscled thighs when my cheeks began burning.

What's this? How many naked men have you seen? Why are you blushing like a girl? I thought as I tugged away. I hung the trousers beside the rest of his clothes.

Still, not many of the naked men I had seen looked like the prince. His arms, his legs, sculpted and perfect, pale creamy skin without fault. Flesh so fine it could be a woman's, yet still firm enough to be masculine.

The prince's chest was not as muscular as some, but the way it tapered to his waist, and the lean muscles about his hips, I found delicious.

I hastily cleared my throat and looked away. What am I doing? The man has an arrow in his shoulder and is half drowned.

Finally I removed Sanli's sodden socks. I decided to leave him with his undershorts. They would dry well enough on his body.

And you can see all of him already, with the thin cotton wet like tha—

"Dammit!" I cursed, and quickly crawled out the entrance, face burning.

*~*~*~*~*~*

If only my burning face could have kindled the fire.

I collected branches and dried leaves from outside the cave, debris the river had thrown up, and stacked them inside. I used every technique I knew, spinning two twigs against one another, striking a flint like rock to stone, but could not get the wood or leaves to catch.

I looked over to Sanli, where he lay, near naked, in the pile of leaves the animal had left behind. I had piled more on top of him that I had found out beside the river. The prince's face was wan, his lips near as light as his skin, all traces of their normal coral color gone. He would not survive the night without a fire. Not here, in the north, on a cold night.

Curse humans, and their susceptibility to death.

If only the little prince were awake. With his knife and his seal, he could—

Suddenly I realized. His seal.

I crawled across the cave to Sanli, hands plunging into the blanket of leaves. I felt Sanli's smooth chest, up to his neck.

His seal was gone.

I checked among his clothes, but I had not removed it by accident. I felt around the cave in the near dark, but it was nowhere we had been, not in the sand of the floor, nor in the pile of leaves.

Even if the prince were awake, he could no longer do magic. His yinzhang must have washed from his neck in the pull of the river.

There would be no making a fire that way.

I resumed my previous attempts, but all my strategies were in vain. I threw down the wood and gave up.

Sanli's face was pale in the dark, and his lips had grown blue. He needed warmth.

Shit. Shit.

I had not felt fear all that day. Not when I fell from the cliff, not when we were caught in the rapids. But now, a single thought ran through my head, and my hands started to shake. He will die. He will die. He's going to-

Across the cave, Sanli gave a dry, racking cough and I put my head in my hands in frustration.

I once brought empires to their knees. And now I cannot even start a single fire. I am truly worthless.

Despair lingered on the outskirts of my vision, hanging in the dark like a hungry dog waiting for its chance to strike.

But, as I always did when confronted with an impossible situation, I stood and kept moving.

I paced, and as I did, the thought occurred to me: perhaps movement itself was the answer.

I moved, swinging my arms, striding from one side of the narrow cave to the other. Jumping in place and putting my hands together over my head in a clap that would have woken the little prince, if he had only been sleeping.

It was hard to move, in the dark, narrow cave. I skinned my shins on unseen stones, and many times my swinging arms scraped walls. But soon I was panting, and sweat was starting to break out on my hot skin.

I pulled off the damp cotton shirt I was wearing, the last of my clothing, and lay it beside my and Sanli's clothes in the dark.

Then, feeling my way, I slid into the pile of leaves and onto Sanli's chest.

He felt frightfully cold against me. I tried to find contact wherever I could, pressing my limbs to his, my chest against his chest, and my head into the crook of his neck.

Finally, I turned my breath against his cheek. I could not hear the prince's own breath, it was so faint. But I could hear the pulse in his neck, near my ear. It was also faint, and ponderously slow, as though with each beat his heart might forget the next.

I held myself against Sanli, giving him my warmth. Then, when it was gone, I stood, tucked the leaves about him, and warmed my body with movement once more, before returning.

I did this many times, throughout the night. So many times I lost count. Sanli's skin gradually regained warmth, but still he did not wake. Finally in the early hours of the morning, exhausted, I did not rise again to my frantic dance, and instead slipped into sleep, the roar of the river outside continuing into my dreams.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"I must be dead, and this must be heaven, to wake up and find a beautiful woman naked on my chest."

The first thing I noticed was the sound of the river. It roared, loud after the silence of sleep. I opened my eyes. Grey morning light streamed in the narrow cave opening. I could see my breath, misting in the new light, but within the pile of leaves it was still snug and cozy.

Beneath me, Sanli's skin was warm.

"Little prince!"

I sat up, leaves rustling around me. Sanli's bright green eyes followed me. He winked.

The relief did not come at once. At first I felt no different then I always did, on seeing the prince.

And then I thought how it would have felt, to wake up to his chest cold and not rising. To those eyes closed forever.

The joy at seeing him awake fell over me like a waterfall. I quickly lowered my face again, so he would not see my emotion.

"This is not heaven, and you are not dead, and I am not naked," I said against his chest. It was true. I was not naked. Not really. I still had the bandages that bound my breasts, and my cotton undershorts. Though they hid even less than the prince's own.

Beneath me, Sanli chuckled. I felt his hand creep up my back, fingers caressing my spine. "Could have fooled me."

His hand was warm, and I truly didn't mind it there, so I confused myself by pushing off his chest and standing in a cascade of leaves.

"Well you seem MUCH better," I hurriedly reached for my closest garment, my fur cape, and threw it about my shoulders, before pulling on my loose trousers.

I checked the prince's own clothes. His sheepskin coat was damp, but no longer dripping, so I placed it atop the leafy blanket.

"These leaves stink of badger," said Sanli.

"Do not complain," I chided. "You almost died last night, I am not in the mood to hear your jokes. And lay down!"

The little prince had tried to sit up, but his eyes unfocused and he fell back in exhaustion. "You sound like Sho Sensei," Sanli said with a weak laugh.

"Stay there. I will make a fire, dry our clothes, and then set about finding us breakfast and removing that arrow in your shoulder."

"There's an arrow in my shoulder?" said Sanli, struggling to look.

"STAY STILL!"

"Yes, Ao Sensei."

"Do not call me that."

I sat down on the floor once more beside the wood I had collected the night before.

At last, after minutes of spinning one stick against the other, the wood caught. Perhaps it had still been too damp the night before.

"What happened to Sho Sensei and Zakhar?" Sanli asked me from his pile of leaves.

"I do not know, but I am sure they fared better than us," I replied, feeding the beginning of my fire.

"Thank you Ao, for jumping after me. Though it was a terrible idea."

"Uhn," I said noncomintinatly, poking carefully at the tiny flame I had managed to coax to life. I did not want it to die and to have to start all over.

A sudden breeze from the cave entrance caused the tiny flame to flicker and disappear.

"Damn it all to a thousand hells!" I cursed, throwing the sticks down and knocking smoking leaves all over the cave floor.

"You don't have to do that Ao. Where is Tenzetsuto? And my seal? I'll start the fire," said Sanli.

"Tenzetsuto is still strapped to your belt, prince," I said, motioning to where the prince's clothes were spread on the cave wall.

"And my seal?" asked Sanli. I heard the leaves rustle as he felt about his neck.

I did not pause. "Your yinzhang is gone."

*~*~*~*~*~*