張牙舞爪
Zhāngyá-wǔzhǎo
Bare fangs and brandish claws.
Make threatening gestures to intimidate an enemy.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning when I returned to Wo You Nai the men were already awake and sitting in the courtyard on the terrace.

The trees that stretched up and far above the roofs of Wo You Nai were dropping their leaves. The leaves fell like great flakes of snow fluttering in the wind, but instead of white they were golden and red and orange and sun-baked brown.

The leaves reached the ground, then blew across the flagstones of the courtyard. They spun across the terrace, catching here against a chair leg, there against a balustrade, skittering in the wind like skipping children, till they at last collected together in the corner, waiting for the servants to clean them up.

I climbed the steps to the terrace. All three of the men had blankets thrown across their knees, even Kageyama who usually seemed impervious to cold. I sank into a chair beside them and held my hands to the brazier.

"My sources say that the Red Duke has not set foot outside his lands since the rebellion began," Kageyama was saying as I joined them.

"He could have done the negotiations by proxy. He did not need to meet with Xiangli in person," debated Sanli.

"You're up early," Zakhar said to me, mistakenly believing I was returning from one of my forest walks. He took the blanket from his knees and held it out to me.

Gratefully I took it, tucking it round myself. "What are you all discussing?"

Sanli frowned. "Still debating which of the kingdoms my brother has so hastily allied us with, and who will be arriving with him next week."

"The west," I said, turning my hands to face the brazier, then away, warming both sides. It had been cold this morning, when I had woken alone in Zhangyu's bed. "And it will be Baihu's daughter who comes."

"What?" said Sanli, looking at me sharply. I felt Kageyama and Zakhar's eyes find me as well. "How do you know?"

"Your nephew told me," I said, keeping my eyes on the haze of heat rising from the brazier.

Sanli snorted. "Zhangyu did? And you believed him? When did he tell you this?"

I felt his eyes notice my unbrushed hair, my day old makeup.

"Last night," I replied, a slight smile tugging my lips.

There was a moment of silence as what I meant sunk in.

"You... you did not need to sacrifice yourself for such information... we would have found out eventually..." said Sanli, voice shaky.

I laughed lightly. "Oh, your nephew is very skilled. It was no sacrifice, I can assure you."

"You..." said Sanli, and froze. In his shock, the little prince had forgotten his mask, and for once his feelings were open and raw.

I was surprised to see he looked hurt. Betrayed, even.

"How could you?!" Sanli exploded, standing, green eyes burning. "You know how I feel about him!"

I gave my best indifferent shrug. "Why should how you feel affect who I share a bed with? What are you to me?"

Sanli's face grew bitter. "I told you to go slake your lust on one of the stable hands, if you were so desperate!" The prince threw both his arms wide. Zakhar looked between us, nervously blushing.

"And I told YOU a stablehand is no substitute for a prince," I cut back. Kageyama watched Sanli and I as well, dark eyes flicking back and forth.

Sanli lowered his arms, his handsome face filled with disbelief. Then he began to laugh. "I see. This is just one big, grand game to you, isn't it? My ancestor is gone, so you'll make do with what you can. Wandering around the Green King's valley, picking and choosing who you want."

"Be careful, little prince. I do not like your tone." I lowered my hands from the brazier, my eyes meeting his.

Sanli continued, disparaging laughter punctuating his words. "Hah- I guess I'm more surprised you didn't go after Xiangwu. Him being a widower shouldn't be a problem for you. In fact, even if his wife was alive I doubt you'd hesitate."

"Sanli..." Kageyama warned.

Sanli paid no heed to his mentor, eyes wild. "And of course, Xiangwu looks the most like our ancestor. That's what you want right? A pretty green-eyed substitute to fuck in his pla—"

SLAP.

My legs had stood of their own accord, but my hand had wanted to swing, to express the anger I felt at someone, something. At the little prince.

I had meant to slap him, but I had not meant for one of my rings to catch on the soft skin of his mouth. A drop of red beaded on Sanli's lip, and then ran down his chin.

Sanli held his hand to his mouth gingerly and then took it away. He looked down at the red smeared on his fingers, stunned.

Instantly, I felt regret at what I had done. At all I had done. But it was too late to undo it now.

"I have warned you, not to mock me," I hissed vehemently.

"That's enough," snapped Kageyama, pushing me away from Sanli. My foot caught on my chair and I stumbled.

"Hey!" said Zakhar, standing quickly and catching my arm to keep me from falling.  "Doesn't matter what she did, she's still a woman Kageyama."

"She's not a woman, she's a monster and I want her gone!" snarled Kageyama, before turning to Sanli. "San, let me see."

Kageyama's words caused my skin to prickle. A monster.

Disgust, dislike, hate, swirled within me. A thousand feelings that had been forced on me for so long.

But before those feelings could drown me, I turned them to anger. Hot, churning anger.

"You want me gone? Then I will leave!" I snarled back at Kageyama. The kitsune had taken up a white cloth napkin from the table and was holding it to Sanli's bleeding lip. "I told the prince, I would only stay as long as our aims aligned. And he doesn't even know what it is he wants anymore," I lifted my chin scornfully.

"Leave, stay I don't care," laughed Sanli, taking the cloth Kageyama held to his lip and pushing his guardian's hand away. "You are the one who will end up the fool. Zhangyu will take you, and use you, and then leave you, just as he does with everyone he pretends to care for."

I laughed as well. "Little Prince, how little you know me. What do I care what the second prince does? What you do?" And I turned and walked away, leaving the three men standing on the terrace in the falling leaves.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I went to my room with the intention to pack and go, but when I got there, I felt regret. I did not want to leave this comfortable room, this comfortable lifestyle I had gained for myself. The food, the clothes. Wong Peng's almond pudding.

And the people. I thought of all the memories in this room. Writing essays with Ermi on the deck. Speaking with Sanli about his past. Pinning the little prince to the bed. Hearing him cry in the night.

Hah, attachments only bring problems. I had learned that lesson well enough by now. Better to keep moving, I told myself, gathering together the few possessions that I would need on the road. I changed into traveling clothing and slung my lute over one shoulder, my heavy rucksack over the other. Then I turned my back on the room that had been my home these past few months.

I was not sure what to expect when I returned to the courtyard. Whatever it was it was not what I found.

I hovered in the shadows of an archway, watching. In the middle of the leaf strewn courtyard, Prince Zhangyu sat on Banli, the stallion nervously pawing the ground. The second prince was dressed for travel as well, and I wondered where it was he was going.

Sanli stood on the terrace, nearly at eye level with his nephew on horseback. His lip was slightly swollen.

The tension between the two men was palatable.

"-I am only here to bid goodbye to Lady Yunyou, uncle," Zhangyu was saying. A few servants who had been going about their duties froze, then hurriedly scurried away, sensing the oncoming storm.

Sanli's fists clenched by his sides. "You are here to taunt me. Is this some kind of revenge for Sunshine?"

Zhangyu's face went white. "Not everything is about you, Sanli," the second prince said, using his uncle's given name for the first time. It sounded odd, but not unfamiliar in the second prince's mouth. I realized when they had been younger, closer, he must have used it often. "Perhaps I just have interest in Lady Yunyou."

"Hah, I know you, Zhangyu," laughed Sanli mockingly. "You don't have interest in anything that isn't going to further your interests. What do you want her for, if not to take her from me, as you took Sunshine?"

"And I know YOU, uncle," said Zhangyu, sliding from the saddle and striding across the courtyard toward the terrace. "Your excellent memory only serves you when you want it to. If you recall, Sunshine was MY maid, and you stole her from ME."

Sanli descended from the terrace to meet his nephew, shoulders hunched. "She was a person, Zhangyu. You can't steal people. Sunshine came to me of her own free will."

"—just as Lady Yunyou came to me of hers."

The two men met and squared up to one another, tense. Same height, similar build. Faces showing the same anger.

Sanli's swollen lip twisted into a sneer, and he leaned into Zhangyu's space. "You deliberately sought out Ao, created situations where you would meet her," said the third prince. "You charmed her, seduced her. You're a manipulative, power hungry liar... just like your mother..."

Zhangyu's face darkened. "And you're a whore just like yours—"

Before I could think to blink Sanli's fist had swung and connected with Zhangyu's mouth.

Zhangyu immediately retaliated, but the blow went wide. Before he could swing again, Sanli ducked under Zhangyu's reach and tackled him to the ground.

The men tousled in the dirt of the courtyard for a moment, each trying to gain the upper hand. To my surprise it was Sanli who came out on top, sitting on Zhangyu's chest and pinning one of his arms to the ground.

Sanli swung again.

Zhangyu managed to catch this swing with his free hand, but the swing that came after it he could not. It snapped his head to the side with a wet thud.

"All hells, what are they fighting over?" said Zakhar, appearing in the shadow of the archway beside me.

"Me I think, originally," I said. "Unfortunately it seems to have devolved into a fight over some girl called 'Sunshine'."

"That was ten bloody years ago. What is wrong with them?" said Zakhar, hurrying forward.

Sanli was winding up for another punch when Zakhar reached him and grabbed his arm.

"Stop it San. Kageyama will be angry as hell if he finds you two fighting."

"If I find you two what?" said Kageyama, stepping onto the terrace from a corridor.

Sanli had been struggling to free his arm from Zakhar's grip, while Zhangyu tried to wiggle his own arm free from under Sanli's leg. On Kageyama's arrival both men froze.

Kageyama stared down at them. An icy stare. The stillness that settled around the kitsune when he was really angry held the whole courtyard frozen in its grip.

"Leave now, Zhangyu," said Kageyama.

Sanli stood from Zhangyu's chest, and the second prince stood as well, brushing the dirt from his clothes.

"You always favored Sanli over me," the second prince said, sneering. He swung up onto Banli and turned his horse toward the entrance.

When the second prince was gone, Kageyama's eyes swung to me, where I stood in the shadow of the archway.

"You. Leave as well," the fox said.

"I was just going to," I said with a sneer to match the second prince's. Hoisting my pack higher on my shoulders, I turned and left Wo You Nai, the eyes of the three men watching me go.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I had just crossed the bridge over the little stream that ran beside Wo You Nai when I heard hoof beats.

I looked up. Zhangyu had turned back on Banli, and was riding toward me.

He caught sight of me on the path and kicked Banli faster, reigning up when he met me. "I apologize for leaving so early this morning. I had to make ready to go meet Uncle Xiangli at the border. I was just coming to— where are you going?" The second prince asked, noticing my traveler's clothing.

"Your lip is bleeding," I replied.

Zhangyu raised a hand to his mouth to wipe away the blood. His lip was already swelling from Sanli's punch.

It looked like both princes would have fat lips tonight.

Zhangyu took his hand away, then eyed my worn shoes and patched linen suit with distaste. "Where are you going, dressed like that?"

"I am leaving," I said.

The second prince's eyebrows shot up. At first he looked dismayed. Then, a hungry, opportunistic look slid over his eyes.

"You can come stay in my courtyard. I have a spare room beside my own. You will be comfortable there. And safe. My soldiers are loyal to me alone. They will not let anyone harm you."

He didn't say safe from whom, but we both knew he didn't mean distant rebels or cultists. He meant his mother.

"No thank you, prince. That sounds like a cage, and I value my freedom." I turned to go.

"Wait!" said Zhangyu, sounding desperate. "Where will you go?"

"I do not know."

"You can't just leave. With no plans, and nowhere to go," said Zhangyu. Beneath him, Banli tossed his head in agreement.

"Can't I?" I replied. "It is how I have lived, for hundreds of years." To my surprise, the second prince looked genuinely sad.

"Who is 'Sunshine' my prince?" I asked softly. Zhangyu looked away, embarrassed.

"You know, if you wanted to make your uncle jealous, you had only to ask," I said, matter of factly. "For someone as handsome as you, I'd be happy to oblige."

"It's not..." Zhangyu began. But he could not finish his sentence.

I turned. "It is time for me to go. Safe travels, little copper prince."

*~*~*~*~*~*

In the end though, I did not go far at all.

I found myself standing in Ermi's courtyard, watching her maids hang white linens out on a pole to dry in the afternoon breeze.

I had wandered aimlessly in the forest for a while, trying to decide where I should go next, until I had found myself here.

One of the maids caught sight of me, standing there dressed for traveling and looking lost. She hurried off down a hall and appeared a moment later with Ermi following her.

"Ao-jie? Why are you dressed like that?" Ermi asked, looking at my linen traveling clothes.

"I... may I stay with you princess? Just for a few days," I asked.

Ermi nodded and held out a hand.

I had thought she would give me a guest room, or a room in the servants hall, but instead the little princess led me to her own room.

"You can stay with me. I always wanted a sister," said Ermi.

Ermi's room looked much as her room in Zhanghai had. Crowded with color and toy animals like a child's.

There was also a desk, and a shelf that looked as though it had been recently cleared out. The desk sat in the corner, beside two windows that looked out over the forest beyond. It was covered with Ermi's study items, books and scrolls and parchment. The box for her writing accoutrements sat on the desk, polished to a sheen.

"I call it my scholar's nook," said Ermi proudly, seeing my gaze.

I sank onto Ermi's bed.

"What's wrong Ao-jie?" asked Ermi. "Did you fight with my brother? Or my uncle?"

I thought. "Both, probably. And Lord Kageyama."

I saw Ermi frown, her devotion to Kageyama conflicting with her fondness for me. "I.. Sho Sensei can be a little too strict at times. He is very protective of Uncle Sanli. He raised him from boyhood, after all."

I nodded and said nothing.

"Come Ao-jie. Let's go to the baths. I have this lime flower hair oil that makes your hair shine like silk," said Ermi enthusiastically.

I smiled weakly, and let Ermi lead me.

Ermi bathed me, lathering my hair and scrubbing my back, talking all the while of things she thought would cheer me. I did the same for her, without the talking. Then we dried, and spent the afternoon in her room reading, Ermi texts for school, and I one of her romance novels I had found hidden behind the scholarly texts on her shelf. We ate an early dinner in her room, and went to sleep in her bed.

Except I could not sleep. I kept thinking over and over of a single line of red, running down Sanli's chin. Of the hurt in his eyes.

I caused that, I thought.

I did not know why it bothered me so. I had gutted men alive and felt less.

Ermi woke around dawn and found me still awake beside her.

"You should grab Cho Cho from the sofa," said the princess with a yawn. "He always helps me sleep."

"Cho Cho?"

"The green rabbit," said Ermi, gesturing to a lopsided lump sat on the sofa. I had not realized it was supposed to be a rabbit. Then again it was Ermi's room. I should have known.

"I do not need a toy to sleep with princess. I am not a child," I said, my tiredness making my tone sharp.

In response Ermi got out of bed and grabbed the rabbit, then came back and placed it between us.

"I'll just leave him here then, in case you change your mind."

The princess's quiet snores soon returned. Outside the sky grew slowly lighter, and the quiet breeze that came before dawn stirred the trees.

I reached out and stroked the stuffed toy. Its sides were soft, as if made of real fur. Softer even.

I fell asleep sometime just after dawn, the ugly animal tucked in the crook of my arm.

*~*~*~*~*~*