同床异梦
tóngchuáng-yìmèng
Share the same bed but dream different dreams.
Ostensible partners with different agendas; strange bedfellows; marital dissension.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I had suspected that that was not the last I had felt of Erli's anger, but I did not expect her revenge to come quite so quickly or in the manner that it did.

"There are five things required to create and activate a magic seal. Someone remind me what they are?" our scribery professor asked.

Beside me, Ermi eagerly raised her hand, enthusiastic as ever.

I yawned, my head propped in my palm, idly looking out the window of the lecture hall where our scribery class was held.

It was the following day. The sting on my cheek where I had been slapped had already faded, as had my anger. In the heat of the moment I had been furious, but now, when I stopped to consider the best way to retaliate, I realized it was I who held the upper hand.

Erli may have triumphed momentarily yesterday, but when I thought of the sly smiles Zhangyu had been giving me of late, I knew I had already won the war. Stay away from my son, she had raged. I smirked. Hah. If he can stay away from me.

Outside, in the courtyard, the trees had all turned to orange and yellow. Not a hint of green remained. As I watched, a breeze blew, causing dappled shadows on the window panes to flicker, as dead and dying leaves shook loose from their branches and flew past the window and then out of sight.

Our professor repeated his question, and then chose a student to answer. The boy promptly stood.

"To create a seal requires something to write on, something to write in, and something to write with. And to activate, human blood and an official yinzhang are necessary."

"Thank you Student Qian. You may sit. Student Qian raises an interesting question though. Can a seal only be activated by an official yinzhang?"

Many hands flew up around the room, Ermi's included. Our professor called on her.

"You may answer, princess."

Ermi stood and spoke in a loud clear voice. "A seal CAN be activated by a forged yinzhang. However, success is unlikely, and using a forged yinzhang often results in injury or death."

"Very good princess," our professor nodded. Our scribery professor, unlike many of the others, had taken a shine to Ermi, and often called on her. "And can you tell me why this is?"

"Official yinzhang are tied to the Dayinzhang, or 'Great Seals', of the five gods, and thus draw their power from the Circle," said Ermi, reciting from memory. "Forged yinzhang cannot draw on the Circle, and so lack power to activate seals correctly."

Our professor praised Ermi again, and moved on to the next topic.

As the princess spoke, I had turned to listen to her. I noticed beyond her, sat on the opposite side of the lecture hall, two male students were talking with their heads together. They had been watching Ermi while she spoke, and after she had finished speaking, continued to watch her.

"Princess, who are those two men? They have been staring at us for a while," I said softly to Ermi. I recognized them faintly from seeing them in many of our classes. But I had never had cause to notice them before.

"Who? Ah, that," said Ermi, noticing. "The one on the right is a distant cousin of mine, Lu Pang. His family no longer lives in the valley. Beside him is Cang Wu, heir of a wealthy trading family."

"I see." I did not like the way the men watched us, smiling, then leaned, heads close together, talking about something.

As the day progressed, I noticed the men in our other classes. Always they were watching us and whispering amongst themselves.

"Men shouldn't whisper, it is unattractive," I said.

"What?" Ermi asked, not pausing in her note taking.

"Nevermind," I said.

Finally, the two men made their move. When we entered Kageyama's class, we found our usual seats at the back of the room taken by none under than Lu Pang and Cang Wu.

"Cousin!" Lu Pang greeted, with false enthusiasm. "How good it is to see you."

"And you, cousin," said Ermi politely. She moved to go around the two men and I followed.

"Why not sit together?" The man called Lu Pang said, arms wide to gesture to the wealth of empty seats we could occupy.

'Lu' the man was surnamed, yet he had a narrow, pinched looking face ending in a sharp chin, in which I could see nothing of his ancestor. If anything, he looked descended from a rodent, not a kirin.

Ermi hesitated. "Come, let me introduce you," Lu Pang continued, in a loud voice, so those around him would know how important he thought himself. "This is my good friend Cang Wu. He's been begging me to introduce you for weeks now."

The trader's son, who was not bad looking, smiled and bowed low to Ermi, taking her hand and pressing his lips to the back. Ermi blushed.

"I- I suppose we could sit together," she said. "Ao-jie and I will sit—"

"Come, sit by Cang Wu, I know he wants to talk to you. And I will sit on your other side, cousin," said Lu Pang, gesturing to the seat between he and his friend.

"And where will Ao-jie sit?" asked Ermi.

"Ao-jie?" Lu Pang said, looking confused. "Ah, your maid. She can sit on my other side."

"She is not my maid, she is my friend," said Ermi, angrily. I could not help smiling at the little princess's indignation on my behalf.

"It is fine princess," I said, and sat beside her pinched face cousin.

At that moment Kageyama entered, and the class quieted and began.

Kageyama's now familiar voice droned on, about love and revenge and the poetry of distant land and a long dead poet that I had little interest in. On the other side of her cousin, I could see Ermi trying to focus, to take her overly comprehensive notes, but Cang Wu kept attempting to engage her in whispered conversation.

I could not hear the contents of the conversation, but Ermi's cheeks were faintly pink, and I had the feeling Cang Wu was taking advantage of the situation to spin his most seductive lines.

I snorted. Good luck, little merchant. Ermi had her sights on the man stood before us delivering our lecture. I knew the little princess would not be so easily swayed.

I turned to the window, and began to daydream, the bright blue autumn sky outside on my mind. I had spent many years in the valley when Lu had been alive, and was familiar with its seasons. Soon it would be winter, and the valley would fill with snow. The sky would show grey as the snow fell, and clear blue when it did not. The trees would stand, barren, like black sleeping skeletons. Skeletons that would live once again with spring.

I closed my eyes and imagined sitting with Sanli and the others, around a brazier in the courtyard, heating wine and drinking it while eating hot spiced cakes. I envisioned the night sky in winter, black like the soft velvet fur of some mythic animal, and speckled with the brightest stars. We would sit beneath it, in the courtyard of Wo You Nai, and joke and talk of useless things.

Our breath would emerge in clouds of fog as we talked and laughed late into the night.

I was brought rudely from my thoughts by a sudden weight on my upper leg and Lu Pang's voice low in my ear. "Thinking of your master?" he breathed.

I looked down to where Lu Pang's hand rested on my thigh, and was slowly sliding higher.

"What?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"You're the whore's whore, aren't you?" said the sharp chinned man, leaning closer, so there was no chance Ermi, who was being distracted by Cang Wu, would hear. "How much is the bastard prince paying you to lay for him? I bet I could pay you more."

I tensed my hand, ready to strike the man, then froze. Instead I rested my hand on Lu Pang's, drawing it further up my thigh at a slow, seductive pace.

I looked at him from under lowered eyelashes. "Oh, and how much would you pay me?"

Ermi's sharp chinned cousin chuckled, leaning closer, so I could feel his breath on my ear. "Depends on what you're willing to—"

As he leaned toward me, I jerked his hand from my thigh, twisting his wrist and pulling it down and back. The force on his arm caused Lu Pang to slam his own sharp chin into the desk before him with a loud sound.

THUNK.

The man cursed with pain. Kageyama's eyes flew to the two of us.

"Is there a problem, Student Yunyou?" asked Kageyama, hand poised mid-air as he prepared to write on the board.

"Ah, not at all," I replied graciously. "But it seems my companion here fell asleep, and hit his head on the desk. Did you not say you would remove anyone who slept in your class?" Lu Pang started to protest.

"I said I would remove you if you slept in my class," Kageyama said sharply. The hall was still.

"That hardly seems fair, to single one student out," I said, trying to sound reasonable.

Everyone in the room turned from Kageyama to I and back again, as they listened to our conversation.

Kageyama's perpetual frown deepened. "True. Student Lu Pang. You are dismissed. Do not return to my class."

Grumbling and muttering some choice insults in my direction, Lu Pang gathered together his things and left the lecture hall, the eyes of the assembled watching him go.

With a satisfied smile I shifted into his seat, beside Ermi.

*~*~*~*~*~*

However, despite the fact I had managed to get rid of his friend, Cang Wu seemed inclined to stay.

"May I walk you to your next class, princess?" The man asked, gallantly offering to hold Ermi's books as we left Kageyama's lecture hall. I felt the kitsune's eyes following us as we left.

"Oh, um, oh yes," said Ermi. Then she turned to me, looking confused. "Ao-jie, is it alright if—"

"Go ahead, princess," I said sharply. "I will make my own way to class."

"Oh. Well, I will see you there, then," said Ermi. She looked conflicted, as though she wanted to say more. But she turned and disappeared into the crowd of brown robed students with Cang Wu by her side nonetheless.

I huffed under my breath and then turned back down the hall. I would find an unused room to sleep the afternoon away in until it was time to go home.

The whore's whore.

Being called a whore had never bothered me before. I don't know why it had irked me so today. But it did.

Perhaps because it was so far from the truth. Sanli has barely touched me.

I wished I had pulled the man down harder, and caused him to bite his damn tongue off.

I made my way through the old stone halls, turning right, and then left, and then right again, until I had left the bustle of the main classrooms behind. In fact, the corridor I now found myself in was deserted, lined with closed doors on one side and windows interspersed with alcoves on the other.

I tried some of the doors and found them locked. A shame. This would be a nice quiet place to sleep and waste the afternoon until it was time to return to the Valley.

I turned and was making my way back the direction I had come from when a hand reached out and dragged me into an alcove.

I found myself pressed up against the wall, an arm shoved against my throat, forcing me to stand on tiptoes to keep my windpipe from being crushed.

"You BITCH," Lu Pang snarled, into my face. A bit of spit flew onto my cheek. "Cousin Erli said to hurt you. I did not think you would make me want to this much."

This close, I could see a large bruise that was darkening on his swollen chin. His sharp chin is not so sharp anymore. The thought made me laugh.

"You think this is FUNNY?!" Lu Pang said, pushing his arm harder against my throat, and causing my laughter to turn to coughs. "I was humiliated and thrown out in front of everyone. Me, a descendant of Lulin!"

I gasped, trying not to laugh/choke further. "You look more like a rat than a kirin," I managed to get out.

Lu Pang snarled and drew his free arm back to hit me. As he did so, and as I debated which part of his body to break, another arm suddenly snaked out and grabbed Lu Pang's raised wrist, dragging him off of me.

I sank from my tiptoes, coughing, and emerged from the alcove to see Kageyama standing over Lu Pang, who was clutching at his wrist where Kageyama had grabbed it.

"You nearly broke my wrist!" Lu Pang shrieked. "This is unforgivable! You are sworn to serve me and my family!"

Kageyama snorted. "I only serve the main family. Of which you are not a member. Now disappear from my sight, and do not appear before me or Student Yunyou again. Or I will make sure to break something."

I knew that Kageyama's threat was empty, but Lu Pang did not. He struggled to his feet and left the hall as quickly as possible.

I laughed. "You needn't have bothered, Lord Kageyama. I was about to break his—"

Kageyama rounded on me with a whirl of his instructor's robes. "YOU need to be more careful with your flirtations, girl. This is the result of them."

I was indignant. "How dare you! I am the victim here. He approached me with no provocation on my part—"

Kageyama brushed aside my words with his hand. "He APPROACHED you because Erli instructed him to, because you have been shamelessly flirting with her son for the past two months. I warned you not to make an enemy of her. Do you think no one sees what you're doing? That the servants don't talk?"

"I don't know what you're accusing me of-" I began.

"Don't try the innocent act with me," said Kageyama, voice low, though there was no one else in the hall but us. He took a step toward me, and I felt far more threatened than I had while Lu Pang held me. "I know who you are. Gods know what you've done in your past. I am telling you now, quit playing with Zhangyu. And Sanli. They are not dolls for you to toy with at your will."

I clenched my fists, angry. "It is you who treat them as toys. They are grown men. If not now, when will they be able to take responsibility for their own decisions? To measure up to us? You act as though you do not look down on humans, but you dismiss them as children simply because their years are not the same."

"They are not the same!" exploded Kageyama. "They do not have the experience, the wisdom we have—"

"Wisdom," I snorted, scornful. "The more I know the more I know that I know nothing. I wonder why you think yourself so wise, Lord Kageyama."

"Do not try and change the subject with smooth words," snapped Kageyama. "This has come about because of your own lustful nature—"

Suddenly I froze, blood turning to ice. "The little princess," I said. "She went to class with the other man. Cang something."

"Ermi is fine," said Kageyama, voice softening somewhat. He sighed. "After what happened in Zhanghai, the little princess has so many shadows following her, set both by her brother and by Sanli, it is a wonder she manages to see the sun. Cang Wu would lose both hands before he could blink if he attempted to touch her."

"Oh," I said, feeling stupid. Of course Ermi had guards assigned to follow her.

"You, on the other hand, have no one," said Kageyama gesturing to the empty hall around us. "I would advise you to stay close to Ermi. Or Sanli."

"Perhaps I will stay close to you, Lord Kageyama," I said, and here it was my turn to step toward him. Kageyama's eyes narrowed. "Perhaps... but no. It couldn't be. Is that what this is all about? You are not mad that I am playing with the princes. You are simply mad I am not playing with you," I laughed.

I expected Kageyama's usual scowl and rebuttal, so the ferocity of the revulsion that flickered across his face quite startled me.

"You are pathetic," the kitsune said as he turned to go, dark eyes disgusted. "Look at you, with all the pretensions of what you once were. Now you are nothing more than a petty woman with no scruples."

I was shocked by his vehemence. "I am what I am," I snarled at his retreating back. "I will not be sorry for it."

Kageyama did not respond. He did not need to. His words had cut deep, and held me in place even after the kitsune had departed, leaving me alone in the hallway.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I emerged into the courtyard in the bright autumn sunshine, intending to make my way to the carriage and wait there with the driver until it was time to go home.

My heart burned with unspent anger. I did not know who to direct it at. Erli? Lu Pang? The kitsune?

Myself?

"Ao-jie!"

I turned, blinking bright sunlight from my eyes. "Ermi?" I said, surprised, as the little princess emerged from a crowd of students and ran up to me. "Why are you here? You should be in classes."

Ermi looked upset. "I was worried about you. You didn't come to class, and when I got up to look for you, Cang Wu started acting strangely, as though he didn't want me to go after you."

The rage in my heart eased somewhat seeing Ermi's worried face. "I am fine princess. I just did not feel much like coming to class. I did not mean to worry you."

Ermi sighed. "That's good. Shall we go home? I am tired, and do not much feel like going to class either."

Ermi slipped her warm hand into mine, and started to lead me toward where the carriage waited.

And suddenly it was that night just a few months ago, at the Midsummer Banquet. I had come upon Ermi crying in the nest of her puffy red dress, and taken her by the hand and led her back to the main hall.

I remembered how small and child-like she had seemed then, beside me.

Now, looking at the young woman, face steady in the bright fall light, scholar's robes knotted about her middle, it was like looking at a different person all together.

How quickly they grow, I thought. Humans really are the most astounding creatures.

I smiled, and let Ermi lead me to where the carriage waited.

In the carriage on the way back to the valley, Ermi apologized profusely for leaving me.

"I am so sorry Ao-jie. I don't know what I was thinking. Abandoning my friend to walk with some boy."

"It is fine, princess," I said, leaning back against the cushioned seat. The wheels rattled over the cobbles stones beneath us. "He was not half bad. I wouldn't mind spending time with such a handsome wealthy merchant boy."

Ermi blushed. "Really... really... I was hoping to make Kageyama Sensei jealous." She buried her blushing face in her hands and her next words were muffled. "Stupid, I know...he probably didn't even notice."

I laughed to myself. "Oh no, princess. I think he noticed."

Ermi looked up. "He did?" She said hopefully.

"Oh yes," I said emphatically. "In fact, I think he even seemed a little jealous last I saw him."

Ermi looked as though she did not quite believe me. We left it at that.

*~*~*~*~*~*

That night when Sanli came to bed I was waiting for him.

It was late, and I had been there for an hour already. I had become well acquainted with the painting on his wall across from the bed. It was ink, a picture of soaring mountains and narrow trails, clouds and waterfalls. My eyes had wandered the roads as they ran around misty peaks, until I could traverse the painted paths in my sleep.

"What are you doing in here?" Sanli asked me.

"I thought you might need help sleeping again, prince," I said, patting the pillow beside me.

Sanli sighed and stripped off his uniform, till he had just his undershorts on. I tried not to stare at the outlines of the lean muscles across his belly. "I think it is I who is helping you sleep," the prince said.

I noticed him moving to get into bed. "What, no bath?" I questioned him.

"I am too tired," he said.  "If you do not like sleeping beside an unwashed man, you can always go to your own bed."

I laughed. "I suppose I will have to tolerate it for now," I rolled closer to him. "Besides, your sweat smells sweet. Like long grass in the summer."

On the pillow beside me, Sanli said nothing.

"What were you doing all day, that caused you to be so tired?"

"I was in council, with Zhangyu, and our generals. And Erli." He said his sister's name with particular dislike.

I hesitated, debating whether or not to tell him what had happened that day with his cousin, who had approached me under Erli's instructions. I decided against it.

"What were you talking about?"

"My brother, Xiangli, in the Golden City, has asked for a tally of troops. I worry what that means," Sanli sighed. "I hope he doesn't mean to involve us in this war."

"He is still in the Central regions, your brother?" I asked.

"Yes. He will return by the end of the month though. For the Fall Celebration."

"And he is the current regent, correct? The First Prince's father?"

"Yes, Xiangli is regent. And yes, he is your beloved Xiangwu's father." I swatted at the prince next to me and he laughed, holding up the blankets to block me.

We lay in silence for a time, until I said. "You know prince, you never finished telling me your story. Of how you and your mother came to be here, in the valley."

"Perhaps another night," yawned Sanli. "I am too tired."

"Oh," I said, disappointed. Then, "Little prince?"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever feel I am taking advantage of your younger years? That I am toying with you for my own amusement?"

Sanli snorted. "Most definitely. How else did you end up in my bed, making me talk when I would rather sleep?"

I laughed. "Good night, little prince,"

"Good night, Ao."

*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke the next morning to sunlight streaming through Sanli's windows. It was a rest day, and as such the prince had not left early for training with Kageyama.

The prince and I had shifted in the night, and I found his arm across my shoulders.

I stayed very still.

I looked around the room, that I could see from where I lay. Scrolls of calligraphy and ink paintings hung on the walls. The large ink painting of a misty mountains that I had studied last night looked like a different landscape entirely in the morning light.

Sanli's room was messier than mine, with books and papers on every surface. Across his desk more books were spread, and I saw from the spines that they related to seals and the Golden Emperor.

Is he still trying to undo Yan's seal? He should give up. I appreciated the effort. But if I hadn't found a way in all the centuries I had been like this, there was no way the little prince would.

I stretched my limbs languorously, loving the way the smooth cotton sheets felt against my bare legs. The thin shift I wore had rode up in the night, leaving me exposed beneath the covers.

I was very conscious of Sanli, shirtless, beside me. His soft breath fluttered against the back of my neck. Close, intimate. As though more than sleep had occurred in his bed last night.

I knew I should dress and prepare for the day. But I was loathe to rise. The bed was comfortable.

And no one would ever know, but I enjoyed the warmth that came with closeness.

I tried to think of the last time I had laid in bed with a man like this. Not hurrying to leave. Not waking and wondering who it was I lay beside. The last time I felt this comfortable, this at ease with someone.

My husband? I wondered.  He had died near a hundred years earlier. Had it really been that long?

Sanli stirred beside me and yawned. He opened his eyes, and saw me awake beside him. "Good mornin—"

Sanli's greeting was interrupted by rapid footfalls outside, and suddenly the door to his room burst open and a woman in dark green robes who I had never seen before rushed inside.

"Ming Lang?" asked Sanli in disbelief, jolting upright in bed.

"Wake and rise, lazy little lea— oh. Oh. Sorry," the woman said, catching sight of me beside Sanli. "The servants told me you didn't have a lover at the moment. Looks like they were wrong." The woman quickly backed up, reaching for the handle of the door. "Take your time, you two. No rush. I'll be waiting with Zakhar and Kageyama in the courtyard."

"Ming, wait, you don't have to— she's, she's not my lover!" Sanli called after the woman.

I was rudely jostled as Sanli leapt from bed and hurried to the door. Then, remembering he was shirtless, he turned back to dress.

I rose from the bed, disgruntled. "Who was that?" I asked, not trying to hide the displeasure in my voice.

"My friend from university," said Sanli absently. He hurriedly pulled on his shirt, then his socks.

"Your friend... is a woman?"

"Obviously," said Sanli. Then he was dressed and striding out the door.

"I— wait!" I called indignantly. I was left standing there, in my thin cotton shift.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I returned to my room and dressed. I put on a long dress robe of deep purple, trimmed with golden orange, that cinched at the waist and complimented my form. I did my make up in the court style, dramatic flairs at the corners of each of my eyes, and my lips rouged bright red like two crimson petals.

Finally, into my done up hair I stuck the goldfish pins I had worn before, that had so caught Qingxi.

Feeling ready, I left my room and went in search of the others.

I heard laughter coming from the courtyard even before I reached it. I passed through the moon arch.

Sanli, Zakhar, and Kageyama were all sitting on the terrace in the wicker chairs, as we often did. A shared pot of tea and a plate of sesame cookies sat on the table between them.

Between the men, in the spot where I usually sat, the girl, Ming Lang was sitting.

I inspected her as I approached. She was plain, with regular features, a face not too round or thin, but not very shapely either. Her skin was poor, with faint traces of pockmarks from adolescence, and without any of the glowing whiteness that noble women worked so hard to cultivate.

Hmph. She is quite ordinary, I thought smugly.

But the three men around her were all laughing and smiling like she was someone special. Even Kageyama threw back his head and laughed at something she said, a sound I had never heard before.

I seethed. I stepped onto the terrace and made my way towards the group.

"I still can't believe they let you into the nunnery," Zakhar said to Ming Lang, chuckling.

Getting closer, I was able to inspect the woman's dress. Her hair was done up in a bun with a simple wooden hair pin, and her face was clean of makeup. She wore plain green robes, without any adornment. I realized they were the robes worn by monks and nuns of the Green King.

"Hah, you should have heard the accolades the high priestess gave me when my training was done. They all cried when they heard I'd been given a different post," the girl called Ming Lang boasted. "'Noooo, Little Lang! Don't go!' It was a tearful parting."

I looked to the prince. Sanli was smiling as he watched Ming Lang's good nature bragging.

"Hello," I said cooly.

Everyone turned, looking as though they noticed me for the first time, though I had been in clear view as I approached.

"Ah, Ao," said Zakhar, hurrying to stand. "Here, sit down, I'll go get another chair—"

"I'll stand," I said. "I am leaving in a minute for Ermi's courtyard."

There was an awkward silence following my refusal to join them. I look pointedly at Sanli.

"Oh. Sorry. Ming Lang, this is Lady Yunyou. Lady Yunyou, this is my friend Ming Lang."

It did not slip my notice that the prince introduced me to her first, as though I were of lesser importance.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Yunyou," the woman called Ming Lang said, smiling at me. I did not smile back. "I'm glad you're here. I usually feel rather outnumbered. Too many men and too few women in Wo You Nai—"

"Ming-jie!" A voice rang out from the entrance of Wo You Nai. Ermi had appeared, Liang'yi followed her.

The little princess rushed up onto the terrace and threw herself into Ming Lang's arms.

"I'm so happy you'll be so close by now!" Ermi said, beaming.

"Close by?" I asked.

"I've been assigned to a post at Memorial Temple, at the end of the valley," Ming Lang clarified.

I thought of the pagoda that stood at the end of the valley, and its associated temple. It had not been called 'Memorial Temple' when I had lived here with Lu. It had just been an ordinary temple dedicated to the Green King.

"Why don't you all come with me?" said Ming Lang. "I have to swear my final vows. There'll be a banquet afterwards, of course."

"Oooh, that sounds like fun!" said Ermi, stepping back. "Can we go Liang'yi? Memorial Temple is technically in the valley, and brother said I could go anywhere in the valley so—"

Liang'yi shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"Memorial for whom?" I asked. But everyone was so busy talking to Ming Lang, no one heard me.

Sanli grinned. "We'll join as well. I could use a break from conferences. Are you traveling up to the temple today?"

Ming Lang nodded. "There are a few others I was traveling with. They've already gone ahead. Well all meet at Memorial Temple tonight, and reswear our vows tomorrow. The banquet will be after that."

I was tired of feeling left out of the conversation. "Memorial Temple? Memorial for whom!?" I finally demanded. My voice rang loud in the morning air.

Everyone looked to me, surprised by my question or volume.

It was Sanli who answered. "For my ancestor. The Green King. That's where he is buried."

*~*~*~*~*~*

Author's note HERE.