Ok guys so here's a new chapter. Enjoy :)

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Walking towards Julian it felt like a million years before I made it over there to him but when I did I felt speechless and more drunk then I did before. He stared at me with so much amusement I was confused. Why was he looking at me like that? Did I have something on my face?

I was eventually dragged out of my thoughts when he spoke,

"Yes Licity? What do you need my love?" He said, with clear amusement in his voice. For some reason his tone made me extremely nervous.

"I am not your love and I do not need anything." I said, slurring my words a little and staggering a bit. I must've looked down right pitiful because the next thing Julian said was surprising.

"Do you need some air?" He said. But then he added something else making me change my mind about him caring about me. I thought he did but he didn't.

"You must be hot and bothered cause your standing next to me and if you didn't need anything then why did you come over here? Was it just to enjoy the view from up close." He said, sounding like the ass he is. Why was he even being an ass? When he came to my house earlier he seemed nice. He must be trying to act all big and bad in front of his friends. Well two can play at that game.

"I came over here to be an ass. Hmm kind of like you. No actually exactly like you." I said, with clear annoyance in my voice.

"Well played." He said

"Well I mean you got to beat the player at their own game don't you." I said, clearly not making any since by now.

"Okay Felicity. Now for real why did you come over here?" He said, looking a bit fed up.

"Oh yeah, can we go somewhere to talk?" I said, finally remembering why I came over here.

"Sure why not. Let's go." He said, grabbing my hand in the process.

He must've thought I meant make out or something because he took me upstairs to Sophia's guest bedroom.

"Why did you bring me up here?" I asked.

"You said you wanted to talk so let's talk. I'm not gonna go outside to talk because it's freezing." He said, while sitting on the bed waiting for me to do the same.

I was sort of hesitant but then I gave in and sat down next to him before I spoke once again,

"Oh ok, well actually I didn't come to talk to you I came to you so you could talk to me. I told you we would talk later and it's later so let's talk. Okay?" I said, looking up at him with a little bit of worry on my face because of the look on his. He looked like he wanted to burst out crying right here in front of me but I think he had more pride then that because he cleared his throat and looked me in the eyes.

"It was nothing Lic I'm fine you don't need to worry." He said, while getting up and heading towards the bedroom door pulling me with him.

I definitely recommend listening to the song while reading this next part.

Once we got down the stairs one of my favorite songs was on which was Oblivion by Bastille. I immediately asked Julian if he wanted to dance. He said yes. So here we are slow dancing. It feels weird but it feels right at the same time. If that makes any sense.

As his hand slips down to my waist he pulls me closer to him while I am resting my head on his chest listening to his heart beat and the song at the same time. It was a beautiful moment. I felt so vulnerable right now, my wall was officially down for the night so that means anything can happen.

We danced and danced until I heard him muttering something under his breath. I had to strain my ears to hear it but I did hear it. Those few words made me stare at him for the longest time, he said,

"Why did you ever leave me baby cakes?"

I felt compelled to stare at him. It felt like a door opened again showing me him again for the first time.

Once the song ended I walked away immediately leaving him speechless. I could careless at the moment because I could feel the alcohol wearing off and my wall going back up. Once I got to the kitchen I saw Sophia standing there making out with some random guy, she must've been drunk off her ass otherwise she wouldn't have made out with a stranger. But once she heard me and she stopped kissing the mystery man I realized that it wasn't a stranger at all. It was Jasper.

Who would've thought that I would catch Jasper and Sophia making out. I definitely did not. As Sophia saw that it was me she immediately grabbed my hand and took me out of the kitchen to a secluded area so we could talk. Once we got there I started questioning her right away.

"Whoa Sophia, what the hell was that?" I said, with shock clear on my face.

"It was nothing really. It was just some harmless drunk fun. But what's up with you and Julian I thought you didn't want to get too close to him. But a few minutes ago it didn't look like you guys could get any closer. Do we need to have the talk?" She said, jokingly while slurring her words.

"Omg no what the fuck. Why would you ask that? We were just dancing that's all!" I yelled.

"Well just saying. I mean you both were practically having eye sex so I wouldn't be surprised if it turned into the real thing. That wall needs to come down eventually Felicity." She said.

"I know, I know, but I don't feel like I'm ready for that yet." I said, while messing with my thumbs so I wouldn't have eye contact with Sophia cause I knew she was staring at me with a concerned look.

"Felicity the thing is you will never be ready. So your gonna have to choose a time to be brave and come to terms with what your gonna feel when that wall comes down because once it does I have a feeling it will never go back up." She said.

"Yeah maybe your right but I feel like I should just leave the past in the past. What if he doesn't want to talk about it?" I said, sounding worried by now.

"Hun he's gonna have to face it eventually just like you so it might as well be now when your both tore up drunk." She said.

"Ok I will go talk to him." I said, before turning and leaving to find Julian.

When I found him a blonde bimbo was grinding on him but I didn't care. So I grabbed his hand and pulled him away from her faster then she could say wait. Once I had a great hold on him he yanked me back making me stop where I was and turn to look at him.

"What the fuck was that Felicity? Where are you trying to take me?" He said, looking really confused.

"We need to talk." Is all I said before finally seeing Katie enter the house. It was time for Sophia's plan to start. I sent her a quick text letting her know she was here before pulling Julian with me once again.

After we got upstairs I headed for the guest bedroom that we were in before. Sitting on the bed I finally spoke,

"Okay so it's time for us to really talk. We never really got to talk about this and I need you to know all of this before I can move on with my life. What I'm about to say has been holding me back from love and boys period for a really long time." I said, sort of blurting it out. It was like the words couldn't wait to spill out my mouth or maybe it was just the alcohol kicking in it doesn't really matter.

"Okay. I'm listening Felicity." He said, staring at me intently.

"That day last year when you spent the night at my house and you had spent the previous day with me at the waterfall I felt like we really had connected. For some reason I had felt like opening myself up to you and trusting you. But when I got to school and I saw that girl sitting in your lap in class kissing you, it felt like someone just took a knife and stuck it straight in my heart. I had felt so betrayed, so I avoided you that whole day. Then at the end of the day when you were at my car waiting for me I felt like I couldn't take it anymore I felt like I was so tired of just everything. You decided to make it known that you knew what you did and you obviously didn't think that kissing that girl would hurt me. I understand that we weren't dating so you could've kissed anyone you wanted but I don't know the betrayal felt really strong and after you finally got off my car and let me back out the parking lot I couldn't forget the look on your face. All I wanted to do was get out of my car and comfort you even after what you did but I couldn't let myself do that. So I proceeded to leave. The whole way down the road I was crying and I couldn't get the look that you had on your face when I left you in that parking lot out of my head. I still can't to this day. But anyway that whole night I had been crying I even cried myself to sleep. So the next day when I came to school all I wanted to do was turn my car around and never come back but I knew I had to face you eventually. So right before I got out my car I looked in my mirror and then I closed my eyes as I took in a deep breath, but as soon as I opened my eyes and let out that breath it felt like all the pain was swept away and the aching pain that was in my chest disappeared. It was like I put up a wall. I didn't trust anyone since that day and I haven't cried since that day either until now. That was also the day that I figured out how hard I fell for you. The wall that I put up that day is still up and I'm afraid to let it fall Julian, I'm afraid of all the emotions that are gonna come back to me. I hate feeling like this. I hate not being able to care about certain things. Right now my wall is down because I'm drunk but when the alcohol leaves my system I'm back at square one. So please Julian tell me what to do. I have no idea what I'm doing. I can't live my life feeling like this anymore." I told him, while tears slid down my face rapidly.

"Licity I am so sorry I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I don't know why I do half the things I do. But I do know why I kissed that girl that day in class, it was because every time I get close to having something real with someone I do something to fuck it up. I just feel like I wouldn't be a good anything. My whole life I've been told repeatedly how much of a disappointment I was and how I would never amount to anything by my parents. So I did my best to live up to that expectation. My main thought that day in that parking lot was 'why do you have to mess everything up Julian?' I asked myself that everyday of my life. I still do and it kills me to know that I hurt you Felicity. I truly hope you can forgive me. I'm so sorry that I caused you to have to put up a wall to block out your feelings to just make it through your day. I'm truly sorry that I hurt you so much to the point where you had to even put up a wall in the first place. I will not make excuses for my actions and I know I can't take those things back. I just hope that one day you can forgive me so we can move forward from this and maybe one day I would actually have the honor of calling you my friend and as for what to do about that wall you put up I say we knock it down. I don't want you to suppress your feelings anymore Felicity so I'm gonna do the one thing that will break that wall. Well at least I hope it does." He said, while holding my face and stroking my cheek with his thumb right before slamming his lips onto mine.

It was an electrifying kiss. One that sent chills all down my body. It made my heart rate rise. It was so in the moment. I felt like I never wanted the moment to end. I hadn't felt these lips on mine for such a long time but once they connected with mine it felt like they made their way back to where they belong. Right on my lips.

Slowly Julian pulled away resting his forehead on mine while breathing heavily. We stared at each other looking like we never wanted to leave each other's side but as I came to my senses I felt a rush of relief come over me and that's when I realized finally after a year my wall has finally come down......

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I hope you enjoyed have a nice day :)