Two Years Earlier
Three Months After Outbreak

Niall's POV

Things were going great. For the past few months of hell Lee, Clementine, and the rest of our group have been living at this motel that had been abandoned. We'd cleared out any walkers inside, at least Haz and the others did, while Clementine, Duck and I stood far from any of the danger.

Lee had made it his priority to protect Clem and keep her safe from the moment he met her. Surprisingly, he made it his priority to do the same for me. We had met other survivors: this Chinese guy by the name of Glenn, a journalist named Carley, Kenny, Katjaa and their son Duck, this cranky old haggard Vernon who gave himself a heart attack when we first met him and his daughter Lilly.

We had made ourselves a home at a motel just outside of Macon; built fences around the perimeter and had a watch every night. It was safe, as safe as it could be in the apocalypse. Things were going so well, too well to be true. And of course, things started to fall apart.

We were running low on food and the kids had to eat before we did. Lilly had taken the role of leader and so she and Kenny continued to butt heads on group decisions. Things like who should get what, what we should do, and where we should go after we leave this place. Lilly was adamant about us not leaving, sure that we were safe here while Kenny thought we should leave. Lee tried not to take sides when they called upon him to tell them who was right and who was wrong on the matter. I tried my best to stay out of it.

But to make matters worse, someone was stealing food from the storage area and Lilly was on a rampage about it.

Zayn and Liam made a comment about how Lilly and her dad were so alike in their temper that it was uncanny. I couldn't help but try my best to stay out of the way as much as I could. I was always with Clem just because I was closer to her than anyone else.

Right now, I was sitting in a folding chair, watching Clem and Duck color together with chalk on the ground. I was bored as hell because Zayn and Liam went with Lee and Kenny to hunt. They all treated me like I was someone who needed to be protected, but at some point they would have to let me help out as much as I could.

It was when we found survivors who took us to their farm, promising food and safety, that everything went to shit.

The family there seemed pretty put together and nice enough to trust. The farm was protected by a chain link fence, electrified by the generator they had running and conductors connected to it. They did perimeter checks every day, usually during the span of morning, afternoon and evening to make sure the fence was still holding and move the dead from the fence to relieve the weight.

And then Lee discovered that the food we were preparing to eat was one of our friends who'd been shot the other day and we haven't seen since Lee and Kenny brought him here.

We're sitting at the table in the house, waiting for the wife to place the food on our plates. It's in the stew and meat on the side. I'm talking to one of the sons sitting next to me and I've found out that he was a fan of our band before this crap happened and that he was actually happy to meet us, me especially. We say our prayers and I realize that Lee's still not present but think nothing of it as I lift a spoonful of stew up towards my mouth.

At that moment Lee sprints in, yelling, "Don't eat that! It's Eric!"

I pause and look at him before glancing at Zayn and Harry who seem to be trying to figure out what he's on about too. Lilly is the one to speak first. "Lee, what are you talking about?"

There's terror in his eyes and he's frantic as he looks at me and Clementine his eyes pleading for us to listen. "The meat isn't animal, it's Eric. They killed him, cut him up and cooked him! Niall, Clem, don't eat that!"

Something in his eyes makes me feel inclined to believe him. He's never been wrong before and I don't think he'd lie about something like this. It just so happens that moment, I look down at the spoon and drop it back into the bowl, my face a mask of fear and I scream. I push my chair back as far as I can and look up at the others, my heart racing. There was a finger in the stew. A fucking finger!

The son I had been talking to suddenly stood up and grabbed a knife from the table, putting it against my jugular. Leaning to my height from behind me, he whispers, "Nothing personal, Nialler."

I cringe at the way he says my nickname and stiffen when he put pressure on it, drawing blood. Zayn and Liam had jumped to their feet at the first sign of danger but couldn't get any closer. Lee couldn't get any closer, even if he was the closest of the rest he couldn't risk me getting hurt.

"No one moves and he'll be fine. Everyone sit back down." I watched as Zayn and Harry sat back down albeit with scowls on their faces and looks that could kill. Lilly and Vernon, who had grown to like me despite their habit not to trust many people and their hot-headed temperamental natures, both glared daggers at Ed but there was a hint of worry in their eyes. Carley looks ready to kill and I know she has her gun on her person right now; Kenny and Katjaa looked very much upset. Clem and Duck, who were sitting side by side looked terrified and they shouldn't have to feel that way. Liam and Louis scowled at Ed and very much looked like they wanted to do some damage he wouldn't come back from.

"Now," the other son said. "Our mama took the time to welcome you into our home and make you dinner. The least you can do is eat it."

He picked up my spoon, scooped out the stew with the finger in it, and raised it up to my lips. "Eat."

I shake my head, pressing my lips together as tight as I possibly can and lean back away from him. There was no way in hell that I was gonna eat that. The son looked at Ed and it's as if they shared a message and all of a sudden, my head is being jerked backwards, causing my lips to part as a gasp forces its way out. The spoon is being shoved in my mouth before I even have time to think about what's going on and I'm forced to close my mouth. I want to spit it out and I struggle to get away from them, wanting nothing more than to hide away.

"Chew it up!" The other son yells, covering my mouth with his overly large hand.

"Stop!" Carley yells. She isn't the only one begging them to stop.

I'm crying and my body is shaking from the fear that's coursing through me. I look at them, my eyes pleading for them to stop. I can't chew it up. It tastes wrong and there's bone and I'm gagging and choking on it. The mother of the two finally states that it's enough and I'm allowed to sit forward and retch to the side. I spat out everything, throwing up the food I'd eaten earlier on in the day. When I'm done, the finger lays among the bile and I start to sob.

I can't take this.

I cry out for my mum, knowing that I might never see her again because for all I know, she's dead. I know I sound like a little kid but I don't care. I'm not strong enough to handle this shit! I cry that I want my mum and want to go home and all any of my friends can do is watch; they aren't allowed to move so they can't comfort me.

Lee's looking at me, the look on his face is anger and desperation and his eyes hold a question. Do you trust me?

I look at him, the look on my face the only answer he needs. He's gotten pretty good at reading me. Like I said before, Lee made it his priority to keep me safe as much as Clementine. The answer he see's on my face is this.

Do what you need to do.

* * *

The moment I see Glenn, I'm running and throwing my arms around him, hugging him tightly. I never want to let go. The last time I saw him was when he left to find his family. Glenn hugs me back just as tight, and I recieve adoring looks from this woman named Maggie. She's curious though, I can tell.

"How long's it been?" Glenn pulls back, so he can get a good look at me.

I grin the biggest smile ever and say, "Too long!"

Glenn smiles back and for a moment I see concern in his eyes and I know that he's been worried just as much as Zayn and Harry. "Did Negan hurt you?"

And just like that, my smile disappears. Negan didn't hurt me but that doesn't mean that what he did do, wasn't any worse. In truth, the man never lay a finger on me. After the incident with Dwight the first day there, Negan laid down the law that no one was allowed to touch me or come near me without his say so. And the isolation from being locked in a room for a day was just as fucking bad but I was never hurt.

"No." I say quietly, looking down at my feet. "He never touched me."

Glenn, probably feeling like a father figure at the moment, knelt down in front of me and grabbed one of my hands. I was aware of people watching us but I was feeling too ashamed to look at any of them. Zayn and Harry were standing close but off to the side.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Glenn asked gently.

I stare at my hands, which are starting to shake and blink back tears. I honestly don't know why I'm acting like a damn kid or feeling the urge to cry like a fucking girl. Back before the dead rose, people would have said that it was just my hormones but I know better. There's nothing wrong with me and I don't know why I'm upset. I just...am. It's like I've lost complete control over my emotions and it feels like I'm four again.

"I-I d-don't know!" I stutter. I'm trying to hold back my tears but it's not as easy as it fucking sounds. It feels like I'm about to have a panic attack but I know that I'm not. "I-I think...I'm scared."

Maggie steps up. "Scared of what, honey?"

If I felt like I was four again before, I definitely felt like it now. "That he's going to find me and take me back! I-I don't wanna go back there!" Even I didn't know what I was upset about until I said it and they now knew why I was starting to lose it. "I don't like it there and he's a fucking creep!"

I'm suddenly enveloped in a hug and through my tears I see that it's Carl who's wrapped his arms around me. I'm shocked for a moment but I hug him back, albeit slowly. When he pulls away, I see that his sheriff's hat is on and he's looking at me with a determined expression.

"Negan won't touch you again, Niall. My dad won't let him." Carl says and shoots a look at Rick, who nods in agreement. "Do you want to come with me and Carol to make cookies?"

Cookies? My face brightens just a bit and I find myself nodding eagerly. Food, especially sweets were kind of rare these days and I wanted to do something that would calm me down. Besides, food always cheered me up when I was down.