"There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares."

― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway: Quotes, Verse, & Grumblings for Every Day of the Year

"We are the walking dead. Swallow the lies we're fed. I'll cover your eyes. I'll cover your eyes. I'll cover the truth and you'll realize. We're hanging by a thread. We are the walking dead"

-Walking Dead, Papa Roach

~*~

Time passes by opposite to the speed  the earth as it spins- it's quick. We ignore the things we really need to do thinking that we have all the time in the world...Then it runs out. The world now, we can't waste any second in the wrong way. One wrong move leads to our demise, and as we take our last breath we pray to God himself to offer us some sort of way to re-wind life back to when it was good...If there was any.

The air was constricting with the humidity, and it reminded me of the way a snake would strangle its prey until the point of death. Seated on an old log resting in front of Dales Caravan, I used an old, filthy, tattered rag to clean the bolts to my crossbow. Ridding them of dirt, blood and guts from my previous hunts.

It was hard, but I was attempting to ignore the presence of Shane who sat beside me- cleaning his shot-gun. His presence just straight up irritated me- and I knew that out of the members in this group, I couldn't be the only one. It was amusing to watch Lori, attempt to give her son, Carl, a hair cut.

"Baby," Lori sighed in frustration. "The more you fidget, the longer it takes- so don't, okay?"

"I'm trying," The boy whined, crossing his arms over his chest, I chuckled, him reminding me of a young child who was just deprived of their favorite thing.

"Well, try harder, little man. "I say, shaking my head slightly. Carl looks up to me and releases a small giggle. Truth be told, I may have never been a people person, but kids sure as hell always won my heart. It was a soft spot...a weakness. " Someday, you're gonna be wishin' for her hair cuts."

Carl gave a look of disbelief. Shane glanced at me before turning back to the young boy. "No she's right, wait till you start shaving. Now that stings. That day comes, you'll be wishing for one of your mama's haircuts."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"I'll tell you what," Shane leaned in closer, nearly falling off the log. "You just get through this with some manly dignity and tomorrow I'll teach you something special- I'll teach you how to catch frogs."

"I've caught a frog before," Carl said, looking proud of his statement.

"I said frogs, plural." He sat up straight, wiping a cloth over his shotgun. I had finished with my bolts, and was now placing them in the quiver of my crossbow. "And it is an art, my friend...It is not meant to be taken lightly-there are ways and means. Few people know about it, I'm willing to share my secrets."

I watched in amusement as Carl looked up to his mother as if asking for approval, she turned his head away. "Oh, I'm a girl- you talk to him."

"It's a one time offer bud, not to be repeated." Shane persuaded the kid.

"Why do we need frogs, plural?"

"You ever eat frog legs?" Shane questioned with a smirk, laughing as he cringed and shook his head in disgust.

"Well, little man," I say, standing up and hitching the strap of my crossbow high up on my shoulder, gazing down at the kid. "When your down to that last can of vegetables, and the squirrels run off- you'll be wishin' for them frog legs."

With a sigh, I walked away. I stopped beside the ladder leading to the roof of the Caravan. Glancing up, I saw the old man, Dale, pace back and forth while every now and then placing a pair of binoculars up against his eyes- scouting for trouble. Shaking my head, I was about to walk away when a high pitched alarm echoed throughout the mountains.

Shane shot up off his seat and ran over to us. "Hey, Dale, can you see what it is?" He demanded answers. "Talk to me, Dale!"

The old man peered through his binoculars, sighing with frustration. "I can't tell yet."

"Let him get a good look at it," I snapped- earing a glare from Shane, but I pushed it aside.

"I'll be damned," Dale called out, pulling the binoculars away from his face. "A stolen car is my guess." As if on queue, a bright red 2009 Charger R/T pulled up the long, twisting dirt pathway that led to our camp on the quarry. Glenn hopped out of the car with excitement on his face.

Shane stormed over, popping the hood and ripping out a cord. The alarm stopped almost instantly. I turned to Glenn," What the hell were you thinkin' china man? Bringin' this wailing bastard up here- are you tryin' to attract every goddamn walker for miles?!"

"Sorry," Glenn meekly replied, holding his hands up in surrender. Shyly, he gestured to the car beside him- which I couldn't help but admire. It was a nice car. "Got a cool car."

Dale, who had climbed off the roof of the caravan, walked over. "I think we're okay."

"You call being stupid okay?"

"Well, the alarm was echoing all over these hills, hard to pinpoint the source." Dale stated, earning an angry look from Shane. "I'm not arguing, I'm saying." He looked to Glenn. "It wouldn't hurt you to think things through more carefully next time, would it?"

A cube van pulled up behind the charger, the returnees from the city run started jumping out- running to reunite with whoever they had left back at the camp. I stalked off to the side, not wanting to deal with all the sappiness. A tinge of jealously formed in my stomach as I watched every one and I couldn't help to think it was from the fact that I never had a reunion...At least not as happy as theirs...

Dale happily hugged Morales, a Hispanic man, while chuckling. " You are a welcome sight, I'd thought we had lost you folks for sure."

"How'd y'all get out of there, anyway?" Shane questioned.

"New guy," Morales smiled. "Crazy Vato just got into town. Hey , helicopter boy! Come say hello." He turned to Shane, and gestured to his baseball cap that read 'Police' on it in bold letters. "He's a cop, just like you."

The drivers side of the cube van opened, and a guy dressed in a cop uniform hopped out. He glanced at everyone before his eyes landed on Shane, Lori and Carl. "Oh...my god." He whispered, before running and hugging Lori and Carl. My mind pieced it together. Husband. Wife. Son.

My eyes moved to Shane who stared at the reuniting family, jealously swarming in his eyes. I smirked, knowing the sight that I had came across whilst hunting one time and I knew if the new guy found out- he sure as hell won't be happy. Aren't you in quite the predicament. Looking around at everyone, I noticed we were missing someone. "Where's Dixon?" They all went silent and looked to me, I shrugged. "Not like I give a flyin' shit- but Daryl might."

The new guy reluctantly left his family, and held out a hand. A friendly gesture for me to shake- but I only eyed it. He sighed and dropped it, finding his hand a new home on his hip. "Look, back in Atlanta, Merle was a danger to us all so I handcuffed him to a piece of metal on the roof-"

"And I dropped the key." T-Dog said.

"You couldn't pick it up?" I ask sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"I dropped it down a drain..."

I nodded my head. "Was that really a wise choice there, officer, I mean no one here in this camp could care on what happened to Merle Dixon- but his brother might- givin' any thought to that?" He just stared at me. I scoff," whatever, just know I ain't gonna help you deal with any of it. This is on you and you only."

Stalking off, I made it over to my tent which I so purposely placed a bit father from the others. It was the one and only place I knew that I could get some peace and quiet. Placing my bow on the ground, I rested in a lawn chair I had placed. Picking up a random stick that was lying around, I unsheathed my hunting blade and started to craft a new arrow.

Why are you still here? You don't need them and they sure look like they don't need you? C'mon, rob 'em blind and disappear- they wouldn't know what hit 'em!

The voice taunted in my mind. I growled lowly under my breath," I need to survive- that's why..."

Survive what? Nothin' changed for you...You're still the same, cold heartless bitch that's alone...And that's all you'll ever be...Alone.

Footsteps approaching pulled me out of my wandering thoughts. Without glancing up, I spoke with annoyance clear in my tone. "Don't you have somethin' better to do than comin' here and buggin' me?"

"Sorry for the intrusion," Hearing the voice, I sighed. Standing up, I tossed the almost made arrow down the ground, still however, gripping the leather handle of my blade. I looked at the new guy as he stared me down wearily. " I-I just thought I should get to know everyone- introduce myself...I never seem to catch your name."

"Well that's because I never fuckin' through it." I muttered. Glancing in his eyes, there was something in them that gave off a trusting vibe- and for me, that was not usual. Hesitantly, I held out a hand for him to shake which he gladly took- a smile playing on his lips. "Jessica Daniels."

"Rick Grimes. You don't happen to have any advice for me on this, Daryl character, do you?"

"Well, Rick, I'm gonna be honest with you," I pointed my hunting blade at him, causing him to back away slightly. "I don't care what happened to Merle Dixon, hell, no one does- but Daryl- I can say he ain't gonna be Little Miss Sunshine when he finds out when he get's back. I'd watch out, 'cause the second that redneck finds out what you did to his brother- he is gonna skin your ass alive..."

I noticed Rick gulp slightly as I spoke my words. Walking closer to him, I smirked and patted him on the back before going to the fire. Everyone was settled around it- digging in on what was left for food. Rick took his spot beside his wife and son- cradling them in his arms. As his eyes stared into the low embers in the fire pit- he spoke with a tone that held many emotions.

"Disoriented," He spoke, gaining roughly everyone's attention. " I guess that comes the closest. Disoriented. Fear, confusion, all those things, but disoriented comes closest."

"Words can be meager things," Dale states. "Sometimes, they fall short."

I watched in curiosity as Rick nodded. " I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else...For a while, I was trapped in some sort of coma dream, something I might not wake up from, ever."

"Mom said you died." Rick glanced at Lori, before turning back down to his son.

"And she had every reason to believe that, don't you ever doubt it." Looking in the direction of Shane, I noticed how he stared down Lori like she was a piece of meat- it sickened me to the bone.

"When things started to get really bad," Lori spoke softly, leaning in to Ricks side for comfort. "They told me at the hospital that they were going to medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta- and it never happened."

I scoffed. "Don't surprise me...I mean, somethin' like this comes up with the dead walkin' around- you think they're gonna care for the injured? Once Atlanta fell, it was every man for himself..."

"Yeah," Shane nodded. "Looks don't deceive. I barley got them out, you know?"

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't begin to express it." Rick looked towards Shane- happiness filling his eyes. I shook my head slightly, if only he knew...

A sound of movement beside us caught our attention and we looked to see Ed Peletier, throwing another log into his makeshift fire- the small embers grew into small flames. Besides Merle Dixon, Ed was another obnoxious asshole. Some days I have to restrain myself from beating the living shit out of him- put that fear of God in him. "Hey, Ed, wanna re-think that log?"

"It's cold, man."

"Yeah, well the cold don't change the rules now, do they?" I snap rudely. I didn't have time for this shit, It's late, I'm tired and wanted some fucking peace. "Keep our fires low- just embers...So we can't be seen from a distance, right?"

"I said it's cold. You should mind your own business for once."

"Listen, shit face!" I growl, standing up from my position beside Shane. "Pull out the goddamn log before I pull it out myself and shove it up your-" Shane grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down- scowling at me. I clenched my fist and rolled my eyes, standing back up again and stalking off to my tent, muttering a series of curses under my breath.

Entering my tent, I lay down on my sleeping bag and rested my hands behind my head. Closing my eyes, I let myself relax, having myself drift off into oblivion.

~*~

You stupid bitch! You should've left while you could- now your fucking in for it!

I awoke with a fast start, my heart gunning in my chest and I almost thought it was going to jump out of my chest. Like you even had a heart, the voice taunted. Sighing, I could see the sun breaking through the side of my green tent. I grabbed my crossbow and headed out.

The group offered genuine smiles, which I only returned with a curt nod. My eyes were kept focused on the ground- I crashed into a hard surface. Both un effected, I looked up to see Ed staring down at me hatefully. He took a step closer to me- but I didn't move. "You'd best be careful on how you talk to me," I scoffed. "After last night, call yourself lucky."

"Right," I huffed, glaring at the man. "You'd best know that you even look at me in the wrong way with your beady little eyes- there's gonna be one of my bolts between them..." Pushing past him, I walked off only to be stopped by a piercing scream radiating throughout the camp.

I took off in the direction it came from, recognizing it as one of the kids. Entering a clearing with most of the men, Sophia and Carl stood staring at a walker who was hunched over a dead deer with two arrows in it's side. I rolled my eyes, figures. I stared at the group with a questioning look on my face as they attacked the walker, hitting everything but it's head, and flinching as Dale hacked it's head clean off with a axe.

Rick rushed to Carl, checking him over. "Nothing bit you? Scratched you?"

"No, I'm okay."

"That's the first one that we had up here, ever." Dale states his observation, looking shocked. "They never come this far up the mountains."

"Well, what'd you expect," I say, sighing and looking over the corpse of the walker- it's head right by my feet. "They're runnin' out of food in the city." The bushes started rustling and I aimed up my bow, aiming to kill anything or anyone that moved the wrong way. My eyes scouted the treeline, stopping as the redneck emerged. Daryl looked shocked to see us all here- but quickly recover. "Ah, crap."

His eyes moved to the deer and walker. "Son of a bitch! That's my deer! Look at it, all gnawed on by this filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!"

"Calm down, son." Dale said. "That's not helping."

"I ain't your son," Daryl snapped. "And why don't you go and take that stupid hat; go back to 'On Golden Pond'." Biting my tongue- I tried to suppress my laugh. He pulled out his two arrows. "Been trackin' this deer for miles; gonna drag it back to camp. Cook us up some venison. What do you think? Think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?"

I paused to think, it seems like a good idea but then I remembered we had no knowledge about this virus." No, it's too much of a fucking risk. We don't know what this virus is or what It can really do- y'all know that."

Daryl looked up to me, his Georgia blue eyes scanning over me before wiping his chin. "Damn shame," He stood up. "Got us some squirrel though, 'bout a dozen or so...That'll have to do."

People groaned in disgust as the walker head started coming back to life, it groaned and snapped it's teeth- having it's lifeless grey eyes stare up at me. Growling, I brought my foot up and smashed it down on it's skull. It smushed and broke- blood covering my combat boots. "Shut up."

Daryl started walking back to camp, calling out for his brother. "Merle!" No reply. "Hey Merle, get your ugly ass out here! Got us some squirrel, let stew 'em up!"

"Daryl," Shane called out, placing his shotgun in his jeep. "Slow down, we gotta talk to you."

"About what?"

"About Merle."

Daryl froze, gazing between all of us, I watched as his eyes moved to the dirt ground. "He dead?"

"We're not sure," Shane shrugged.

"He either he is, or he ain't!"

"Well, since they're not gonna be blunt and say it, I will." I speak up, pushing past Shane- ignoring his protests. " Daryl, your brother, Merle, was bein' a dick and officer friendly over there handcuffed him to a roof and left him there."

"Hold on, let me process this," Daryl raised his voice, turning to Rick. He started pawing at his eyes. "You're tryin' to tell me you handcuffed my brother to a roof- and you left him there?!"

"Yeah." I mentally face palmed myself on how blunt he is. Well, I thought. Aren't these people so well damned skilled in the 'I handcuffed your brother and left him behind' department. Daryl growled and threw his string of dead squirrels at Rick, launching himself at him.

I acted and jumped forward, tackling Daryl to the ground and pulled out his knife- throwing it away before he could cause harm. Immediately, I placed him in a choke hold. "Hey! You'd best let me go!" He choked out. "Choke holds illegal!"

"Does it look like I give two shits?" I snap. "There's two goddamn cops infront of you- feel free to file a complaint."

Rick walked over to Daryl and crouched down in front of him. "What I did was not on a whim, your brother does not work and play well with others, but I'm expecting you to do the opposite. You think we can have a calm discussion about this?"

Daryl slowly nodded and I released him, ignoring the hateful glare he threw at me. He looked back towards Rick, narrowing his eyes. "Who the hell are you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"Rick Grimes," He snapped, before looking around at everyone- his eyes landed on me before looking away. "To hell with all y'all, just tell me where he is...So I can go get him."

"He'll show you." Our heads turned to look at Lori, who leaned against the doorway of the Caravan. Even though she said Rick was gonna show him, her eyes were lying and it wasn't hard to tell that she was. She looked to her husband. "Isn't that right?"

"Yeah," Rick nodded, placing a hand on his hip. "I'm going back."