I walk into the venue with Mike. I'm late, because I was forced to attend counselling, courtesy of being a troubled teen like myself.

Standing here, in the bustling hall, some guests prefer to stare at me. I don't mind.

Boma had sent me a picture of her dress, so I bought a suit with a silver lapel. It looks a lot more interesting under the lights.

"Scan around and tell me when you see her." I instruct Mike.

"There, sir." He points to the front of the hall, where some girls are gathered around the bride, scrambling to catch the bouquet.

I don't think walking over there is what I should do.

Instead, I allow myself to bask in the camera lights all flickering around me. They seem to absolutely love my suit—or just me—everybody does, instant love affair.

"Oh. My. God." The Master of Ceremony announces.

I look up and like echo-location, she turns around, with the bouquet in her hands. Her eyes widen into a radiant smile and some people follow her eyes to me. I prostrate.

If they're going to stare, I might as well make it worth their precious eyes. The cameras flick some more.

Her mother waves at me. I blow her a kiss.

Boma hands the bouquet over to a beautiful dark-skinned girl standing next to her, then gallops towards me, smiling like she could lose sight.

I start laughing, knowing I surprised her well.

"You came!" she flings her arm around my neck, bubbling like a glass of champagne.

I fling mine around her waist.

Always so beautiful.

She whispers in my ears, "Poolside."

"Okay." I nod. "Before that, pose." I turn her towards the camera. She laughs through all their clicks.

"Hi." she waves at Mike who smiles at her.

"We're at the Poolside, you can enjoy the rest of the wedding." I tell him.

He nods.

I love these new rules of 'listen to Ivan', my life finally feels like my life.

She grabs my hand, pulling me out of the hall, around the hotel, through a small fence, and to the poolside.

We get seated on the green swing. Letting it swing us for a moment while we watch the little ripples flow through the empty blue water.

"Have you been discharged?" She asks.

"Yes. Dr. Anthony made me swear that I'd attend all my future counselling sessions. I even had to take one today before he let me leave."

She laughs like I deserve it, or like she expected it.

"Well you missed the best parts," she says.

"Tell me about it."

"Well, there was the cathedral, and her dress, like when she walked down the aisle, and then there were the vows, they made theirs."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow is right. I cried a little, you would have laughed your eyes out if you saw me," she says.

I start laughing. She joins me.

"And then there was the dance we had marching into the hall. I actually didn't mess up the routine."

I laugh again, imagining the drama that would have followed that dance.

"You are beautiful," I say.

She smiles, "I know that."

"The picture you sent didn't do enough justice. "

She laughs, "aww. Thanks."

"Are they going for their honeymoon immediately?"

"They don't want to tell me yet. But I know they have plans."

"They're probably scared of breaking your little heart." I poke her chest.

She spanks my hand off.

"Ouch."

She smiles, "I think you're right though."

"Of course, I am." I say.

She throws me a squint.

I smile.

"It's a bit sad you know," she says. "With Mom being married now, and Chinny off to Calabar next month, it's like I'm losing my family. With Chinny, I have come to terms with it, and I'm excited for her, would probably even travel to Calabar. "

"Really?"

She chuckles, "just kidding."

"That's better," I say.

She laughs some more.

"But with Mom though, I don't want to keep her with me. You know, I'm not exactly going to be here for much longer."

She looks at me to see my reaction.

I smile and shrug.

She smiles too.

"It's okay." I tell her.

She rests her head on my shoulder, and pulls her fingers to her face.

Not long after, she begins crying. It breaks my heart and a small community of tears begin to gather in my own eyes. I pull her in closer and stroke her hair.

I let her cry because she needs to. Boxing up her fears and pain is the exact thing Dr. Stella counselled against.

She pulls her head up. "I feel my body get weaker everyday." A sob shakes her head back to my shoulder.

I hand her my pocket square.

She laughs. "It's becoming a trend, your pocket squares end up wiping my tears."

I smile, "that's an even better purpose, next time would be tears of joy."

She smiles, "lately, every breath feels like a chore. Like I feel myself dying, and it's not a great feeling at all. I'm so scared all the time."

"I wish I could take it all away." I say.

"I don't wish that," she says. "I wish I never had to be this way."

"Shhh. Boma, you're going to be okay."

She looks up at me.

These blue eyes would be the death of me.

"I am." She affirms.

"You are." I echo.

"You know," she smiles. "I used to have these silly bucket lists I wrote every year since I was eleven. I have them littered on my wall."

"I'd love to hear about them."

"Now?"

"It's not a scroll list, is it?" I ask

"Nope."

"Then let me hear all about it."

"Where do I even start?" She laughs. "Okay. There's find Ivan." She makes air quotes.

I laugh. She joins me.

"Check." I say.

"Help Mom find love."

"That's definitely a check. A big glaring check." I emphasize.

She laughs. "Kiss a boy you love."

"No..." My eyes widen. "You're kidding."

"I'm not kidding. That was for, I think for my fourteenth year."

"Was that me?"

She nods, her cheeks flushing in unison to her smile. "Check."

"Check! Check! Check!" I say.

She laughs.

"What else? I'm loving this list. Little Boma was cute." I say.

She smirks. "Read a book about death."

"Oh. Uhm. That's not exactly cute," I say.

She laughs.

"So? Have you done that?" I ask

"Yes, I still read it some days."

"Must be 'a' book."

"Dying Like The Sun; A Void by Sarah Okosi. It's the only book I've read outside school books, that's if you don't count Purple Hibiscus, Wuthering Heights, The Lion and The Jewel and, Another Visa Story."

"I think the only one you mentioned that I haven't read is Another Visa Story and of course the Dying Like The Sun." I say.

"DLTS was a gift from Dr. Hart to all her patients on their sixteenth birthday, and I got it last year. Another Visa Story was a Junior WAEC reccomend. There was another but I've forgotten the title," she says. "So, professor, what other books have you read?"

I look at her briefly, and her eyes glow into a smile. "The Great Gatsby, Pride and Prejudice, that was recommended for SAT's and TOEFL. All the works of Shakespeare, my favourite being his tragedies, Macbeth especially, I also read Lord Of The Flies, a lot of world war two memoirs."

Hitler, Josef Mengele, the concentration camps with the gas chambers, the weird human transplantation experiments, The stories of Mengele Twins and the people in striped pyjamas, how The Jews were rounded up in Poland, Denmark and other European countries and taken to Auschwitz in jammed fright trains, how most Jewish babies and old people were killed.

I shake the thought out of my mind when she sighs.

"Tragedy, I'm used to it." She says.

"Uhm. I think I've had enough of sad bucket list, cute bucket list please. "

She laughs at my attempt to skip the heavy stuff.

"Grow some hips." she says.

"Check."

"Uh. Uh," she nods. "Have you seen Chinny? We were both flat at some point."

"Girls don't always see themselves for who they really are. " I tell her.

She laughs.

"What else is on your cute list?" I ask

"Well there's own your debit card, unchecked, get your driver's licence, unchecked, Disneyland bicycling with Chinny, not going to happen, shopping spree at Toys'R'us, definitely not going to happen."

"So what would you rather do now?"

"To see all the most beautiful sunsets in the world." She replies with a dreamy smile.

"How long do we have?" I ask

She laughs. " Ivan, you're not dying, I am, and I have roughly four months left."

Something moves in the bushes behind us.

We turn around.

Chinny steps out with tears trickling down her cheeks, her eyes hazy with more to come.

"You're dying?" She addresses the question to Boma.

I turn to Boma, she's lost with her jaw dropped.

She heard our conversation.
How much did she hear?