I hear his voice in my head as my eyes squeeze shut.

Finding a perfect shelter in the silence, I embrace the longing darkness, the calm, like falling asleep on a Friday night.

I hear another voice, and my eyes pop back open.

I'm alone, standing before a peaceful glistening ocean mirroring the hopeful fresh blue of the sky above. It stretches far along the coast and wide into an unknown distance, a golden glowing sunset resting on seams of the horizon. The smell of the salty breeze, crisp and untainted moves me towards the foams only a few metres from my feet.

I have never been to a beach so I take the first step. The warm crumbly grains of sand tickle the under of my bare feet, sending me hurdling towards the water while the cool wind dances on my skin. I watch the little waves crash and flow through my feet. Paradise?
Amazed by the warmth, I stoop to play with the water and my reflection comes into view. I see him standing behind me, his big head full of Jerry-coils, just as I remember.

He smiles "Hey." My smile starts expanding so wide. I rush him a hug. The last time I saw him was five years ago. He hugs me too but doesn't hold on.

"What now? You're not happy to see me?" I ask. My voice seems to bounce around the air.

He smiles again, cheeks risen high, brown eyes narrowed, almost to a complete close, he says,
"Boma. What do you think you're doing?"

"Uhmm, hello, what do you want to hear? Deading? I died. Finally." I hop a little.

He laughs so hard, but his own voice seems to echo in the sunset. I smile shortly.

"Shooting stars burn Boma."

"Well I burned as bright as I could so don't start with me. Talk about this place," I pull him along the beach, "you of all people know we can't argue with God. If he says it's time, Bro it's time." I say.

He stops in his tracks. I have made footprints, but he hasn't. His smile fades and his face stays still, like the ocean, "Boma it's not time. Not yet, not now."

I look away from him, creating ripples in the water. As each ripple grows so does my anger. Why is life clinging and fleeting at the same time?

"I don't have time for this." I whisper when he walks up and squats beside me, "it's not getting easier, I've gotten a lot worse. I'm dying in 5 months, does it matter if it happens now or then?"

"You know I'll always tell you to choose life."

"At this point, I don't have one."

"How about your mother?" He asks and my defence shatters. "Doesn't she deserve to spend more time with you?"

"I fell in love." I turn the discussion around,

"That's a bad thing these days?" He asks,

"it was the biggest mistake of my existence, just might be the reason I go to hell."

He laughs, "You're not forgiving?"

"Never. "

"Well I think you should. Life is too precious to store grudges."

"Dany, don't preach to me. " I throw a shell into the water.

"Okay, but what If I told you that you have it all wrong, that you have no clue what life means, would you believe me?"

"I don't even understand you."

"Means you still have a lot to live for Boma. You're not the saddest case."

"How so?" I ask,

"You're still alive." He smiles and the sunset disappears. I'm watching him walk away when the ocean vanishes. Leaving me on the cold dry sand, I call out, "Daniel!" he turns around, smiling, skin like dripping burnt caramel, eyes like smoky coals, lips quivering, he says again, "you're a shooting star, don't Dull." before fading away into the darkness, I take a deep breath and a chill grips me.

"Beep. Beep. . ." Reality greets me with the famous sound of the heart monitor, accompanied by the rhythmic rasp of the ventilator. Reminding me that again, it was only near death. I feel hot tears streaming the sides of my face. I hoped I died. It's unfortunate I didn't.

Why can't you let me die? I ask myself. I feel mom's soft warm fingers wipe the tears as she whispers a prayer.

I take another breath and the memories that landed me here return in an unforgiving sweep. I see his face, hear his voice, the heart monitor begins to drum.

"Boma," I open my eyes and realise I'm not at Riverside. Moms silhouette blocks the bright white light as she peers into my visual field. "You're awake? Oh my God. Thank you Jesus." she begins to cry.

More tears flow out of my eyes and my heart drums more. I hear people enter the room. I turn around and I see the doctor. A man in a green surgical scrub. With his stud physique and stubble chin, I'm positive he's the person people refer to when they say tall, dark and handsome, "calm down dear." He checks my pupils.

At least he's hot. I close my eyes again and take a deep breath.

The monitor begins to beep less rapidly.

"She's breathing well on her own, so we're going to take her off the ventilator and move her to the private ward." The doctor squeezes my knees they feel like lead.

Mom comes into view again and wipes the remaining tears. I see her face and I remember that not everything was broken, just the part I gave away.

☝️If you're wondering who Daniel is, you can flashback to Chapter 13, he's story is told there. Keep on reading though. LOvE YOU GUYS 💯