16| ℐᏉᎯℕ 

  A STUPID MORNING. There's a knock at the door.

   "Sir," it's Sua's voice. 

   I don't want to see anyone, and I don't want to hear anything if it has Mother's name in it. Last night, we had a falling out, it didn't end well.

   'Ivan, don't you think it's about time you end all these shenanigans with this girl? It's time to focus. You have your whole life ahead of you.' She said the moment I walked into the living room. 

   I turned around and there she sat, at the head chair, looking all prim and proper, a glass of sangria in her hand, while one of the domestic staff waited on her with the jug. Tosin was also present, a can of energy drink in his hand, and a stupid smirk resting on his stupid face. 

   It took me some time to process what she had said and when I finally did, I walked away without saying a word. 

   She started ranting, trailing behind me. I got to my room and locked the door, praying she would just leave me alone and let me think. For Christ's sake, I wasn't sure where my mind was, but she just had to continue.

   I listened to her say a lot of things including how she made a mistake by letting me continue to play around with Boma, how she should have ended it the moment we came back. 

   What got to me was when she said, 'even if you think you can defy me to continue to see this girl, you're going away, for a long time and as we all know how unpredictable sickle cell is, she just might be gone before you get back.' 

   That stung. It stung so bad I punched my door open. She looked unmoved, like she didn't hear herself. 

   'You went too far.' I said, my jaws were clenched so tightly the words barely escaped. 'You went TOO FAR!' I roared. That was when a gasp escaped her lips as her eyes widened.

   'How can you say that? She's someone's child.' I said. She looked away then back at me, mouth still hanging open. 'Sometimes I wonder how much worse you have to become, before I can't call you Mother anymore.'

   'You have no right to say that to me, Ivan.'

   'I'd say ANYTHING I WANT!'

   She slapped me hard across my face, a pained scowl on hers. 'I'M YOUR MOTHER!'

   'Then try acting like it.' I said. 

   'What has come over you? It's that girl right, that stupid girl has turned you into this.'

   'THIS? YOU! DID! THIS!' I clenched my fists letting the blood trickle like water from a tap.

   'Ivan, you're bleeding...'

   'DON'T! don't touch me.' I moved away from her, backwards into my room, and everything in my field of vision became vibrating auras from the tears and a silhouette of her shadow.

   'Ivan,' she whispered as I pulled away from her.

   'If it offers you any comfort, you're right. She's dying, and pretty soon, you wouldn't have to worry about her doing anything to your precious son but until then, you don't get to choose what I do, she does.'

   'Ivan–'

   'You've done enough. Please go.' I said and she left. I heard Tosin asking her if he should handle me.

   Beat me? He has another thing coming. I thought as I locked the door.

   My heart was so messed up afterwards. I felt burnt and exhausted and helpless. I couldn't sleep either so Boma and I chatted till early this morning. I told her I had to work and went offline, but really, I was in pain.

   My whole left hand is a waste right now and I haven't left my room all day. Now Sua is here.

   "Can I come in?" Sua asks, 

   "Did Mother put you up to this?"

   "No. Your mother and Tosin left early this morning. I heard what happened and I know you need help." She says, "I could help with your hand. I overheard her saying you were bleeding. . ." 

   I open the door and she's standing there with medical supplies. I haven't touched my hand since last night, so my fingers are still bloody, and the gash looks messed up. I see the methylated spirit, and my eyes get wet. 

   "Can you please substitute that for water?" I say. She starts laughing. I've always had a phobia for methylated spirit and I'm certainly going to cry if she uses it.

   "You're still afraid?" she asks.

   "Not afraid, just cautious." I say. 

   She laughs again. "You're not a little boy anymore, you can take a little sizzle."

   "This has nothing to do with age, Sua. You know it."

   "I'll be gentle and quick." She smiles, "I promise." 

   The promise isn't going to do much, I'll just try my hardest not to cry. If anything, I need this gash to not be ghastly by tomorrow, I don't want to show up looking like I fought.

   "It's going to sizzle now." She warns before pouring a few drops of the spirit on the surface of the wound. 

   I feel the sting all over my body and try to pull my hand away, but she has it down tight. I feel all my manliness sleep away as I start to sob.

   "You're doing great, look at you, manning up to the pain. Just a few more drops then I'll wipe it and you'll be good to go." She adds another few drops, it doesn't sting as much as the first. 

   She picks the swab, and soaks it in more spirit, at this point, my room smells like a hospital ward. She squeezes the extra spirit and I watch in slow-motion as she dabs the surface of my knuckles. 

   The middle two are splintered but the wounds are white now. After she's done, she pats me on the back and stands up. I smile at her, exhausted from long minutes of high-end endurance.

   "Thanks." 

   "Will you at least eat something?" she asks. 

   I drop on my pillow and look away. I'm pretty sure I look like eight-year-old Ivan acting this way, but I can't help it. 

   "William could make you some eggs, or Jollof rice, or Moin-moin, or Eba, Amala. Anything." She says. 

   I turn around, she looks like the ever patient Sua who has always been there. If I had an elder sister who was nothing like Mother, she would be like Sua.

   "I'm famished. The Jollof rice sounds nice." I grumble. 

   "Good then, chicken, beef, goat meat, p..."

   "Chicken please, not the–"

   "The breast." She finishes my sentence. "Got it. I'll be back when it's ready. Get some rest now." She leaves, locking the door behind her.

   Boma drifts into my mind space. Her electric blue eyes, the way her lips curled when she said I was stupid, how divine and comforting it felt to hold her. I'm uncertain, maybe a bit frightened as to what life would be without her.

   Tomorrow, I'm taking her to prom. I should call to see how her day is going. I pick up my phone, it's 1pm, I ring her.

   "Hey." I recognise it's Chinny's voice.

   "Hey, Chinny."

   "B isn't available now, she's trying out prom dresses. Can you call back later?"

   "Sure. Tell her I called please." I say

   "Definitely." She replies, and I hang up. 

   Speaking of outfits, I haven't sorted mine out. I mentally scan my wardrobe. Nothing in it says romantic evening. 

   I have some shopping to do then.

   Tickets, check. 
   Transportation, check. 
   We could have dinner somewhere fancy afterwards, check. 
   I'd stop by the mall and get a wristwatch too.