Tiny dancers on the tips of candles lit the darkness of his room. Tar like paranoia clung to his every limb. Making him sluggish. He felt weary, exhausted, and ultimately defeated, but knew the night had only begun.  Knew that with everything he was, he'd finally feel free after this. There was no looking back after this decision and it was time to truly let go of what held him back. 

"Why? Why wait til now to do this? Why couldn't you have made up your mind sooner?" Questioned a small, but fierce voice in the distance.  As He pondered the question, he realized that he simply didn't know. For all his many faults, procrastination had always plagued him the most. He supposed it was because he was never truly moved to until that very moment. Never was quit ready to make the leap from conscious thought, to conscious action. Even still, "The timing doesn't matter", he replied to the voice. "All that matters is that I'm doing it now."

The tone of his words seemed to fill the room.

The dancers flickered solemnly as if they, too, were taken aback by his words. He moved his chair closer to his phone, trying to give his body some tedious task to interrupt the staleness of the room. "You'll never find love again. You know that don't you? You know that no one out there will care for someone like you! I mean look at you!" The voice chuckled the last. "You're practically a place holder for anyone, good or bad, to replace you. You can't even look yourself in the mirror!"

The words cut deep. Maybe even more so because part of him believed them true. Compelled by a will far greater than his own, he slowly lifted his head to seek out his reflection. But before he could look himself in the eyes, his head fell; puppet like. Still he pressed back,

"I may not be perfect, but this- ALL of this- is toxic. Everything about you is killing me. I can't do this any more! I can't feel this way any longer. I refuse to feel this way ever again! All you do is poison me with your whispers of self doubt. I can feel self loathing rolling off you in droves. And I think others can too. You sit there dragging me into the corners of parties making me feel secluded. And alone. And broken. As if I don't deserve to be there. As if some how I deserve to be unhappy! Why? What is soo wrong with me that I deserve to feel this way? Why must you make me hate myself?"

"Because you are worthless! Can't you see that?" The voice barked in rebuttal. "Look at you now! Crying! You want someone to pity you. You like it. Stop pretending like it's all my fault. I've never done anything to you. Yet you blame me for everything? What about that time at the park with your so-called-friends that left you? Was that my doing?"

"Shut up."

"Or that time we went to the movies alone? Did I force you to go? Was that my doing too?"

"Shut up!"

"Or that time we drove around for hours hoping to get lost and never find our way home because-"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I've had enough!" His voice echoed through the room. He could feel it bouncing from wall to wall and back again. His fury seemed to be mimicked by the candles as they grew brighter! More passionate! He took a deep, resigned breath. And with a sigh added, "Just shut up. This decision was never up for discussion or debate in the first place. I'm done, okay? I'm done. With you, with this, with all of it."

"Done? With me?" The voice said with amusement. We've been together for years! Every single time you've said you're done we've ended up right back here. You don't even know how to function without me anymore. We have been together since high school and you think that all of a sudden you're ready to move on? You're obviously kidding yourself if you believe any of that nonsense. At this point it's till death do we part."

He stared silently at the candles and began to study the tiny dancers for long moments. Mindlessly, he was lost to their movements. He contemplated his phone sitting next to them and as if an eternity passed, his entire demeanor slowly began to change. He finally locked eyes with the voice while he shot for his phone. And with shaky, yet, determined fingers, began to dial.

"Are you kidding me right now?" The voice in his head said with ire. "Are you really calling them? Hang up! Hang up the phone now! How many times is it going to ring before you hang up? They won't even take you seriously. They're going to think you're a joke. You know that, don't you?  Hang up. Hang up! Hang up stupid! hang-"

"Suicide prevention hotline. My names Sarah and I'm here for you." A soothing voice claimed through the phone.

He stared deeper into his own eyes through his reflection and on the verge of crying again said, "He-hello? Sarah? I- I think it's time I broke up with my depression."