The house is quiet. There is no light emitting from the windows.
Abeonim must have been asleep already.
I breathe a sigh of relief. At least, I don't need to talk to him tonight.
I had meticulously checked my body in the event venue's restroom after the sexual encounter, scared that Taehyung had left any mark on me.
And to my horror, he did.
He left a small purplish hickey near my collarbone.
Although I never wear clothes that expose that part of the area, its sole existence scares the soul out of me.
I take off my high heels & slowly push open the door.
The heavy wooden door creaks lightly, but it sounds like a blaring bomb to my ears.
The air is still. The heavy silence weighs on the dark gloomy atmosphere.
I hold my breath & tiptoe quickly towards the stairs to go up to my room.
"You're back." The unexpected voice shocks me to the core.
"A-Abeonim. I- I thought you were asleep." I stutter, panic rising within me.
Oh God. Has he found out? Did someone see us & tell him about it?
"How was the party?" He switches on the lamp, causing me to flinch at the sudden burst of light.
"I-It was pleasant as usual." I lower my head & answer, silently praying that he will let me go soon.
"I heard you were being very generous in the beginning, but why didn't you bid during the second half?" He rises from his seat & steps closer to me with hands behind his back.
"I wanted to give the opportunity to the other attendees. I thought I shouldn't have drawn all the attention to myself." The surprising calmness in my voice makes me want to pat myself on the back.
"You're not lying, are you?" He stops a few inches in front of me & frowns.
"No, abeonim. I would never lie to you." I muster everything I have in me to not waver under his scrutinizing gaze.
"You smell like salt & sweat.. And smoke.." He moves his face closer & sniffs.
Does he smell Taehyung on me? But I've made sure to spray a lot of perfume to cover up his scent.
"The venue was right by the beach, that's why I smell like salt. And this dress is thick, so I sweated quite a lot. As for the smoke, a few ladies there had taken a liking of smoking those trendy thin cigarettes, so.."
"Atrocious! Whoever their fathers or husbands are should be ashamed. No dignified ladies should smoke. Cigarettes are for whores & prostitutes. You understand that perfectly well, right Y/n?" He lifts his finger to caress my cheek, sending chills down my spine.
I'm worse than those ladies Abeonim. But you mustn't know.
"Yes Abeonim. Those little rolls of tobacco are toxic & I'm never interested in trying them." I nod obediently.
"Good. Now go take a bath. You smell horrid, like one of those disgusting fishermen." He dismisses me with a flick of his hand & turns around.
"Yes Abeonim. Have a good night sleep." I bow at him & try to walk slowly so that he won't think that I'm trying to escape.
Once I get into my room & close the door safely behind me, my knees immediately lose all their strength causing me to collapse onto the floor.
If Abeonim finds out what I did, he will kill me for sure, so I have to carry this secret to my grave.
As I try to stand up, a numbing pain shoots through my lower stomach & genital area.
I quickly rush to the restroom & take off my clothes & underwear.
My cotton white panties are stained with blood, a sign of my indecency.
I'm no longer pure. I'm a whore. Why did I do it? Why did I give my precious first time to a guy like him who I know nothing about?
Regret & guilt wash over me in tumultuous waves as tears roll down my pale face.
"I don't intend to let you go just yet."
His last words echo in my ears, chilling me to the bone.
"What does he want from me? He can't- He can't possibly want me to have sex again with him, can he?" I mutter to myself, worried.
No, Y/n. You need to forget about tonight, about him. Pretend that it has never happened. I'm sure he was just teasing you.
I take my blood-stained panties to the sink, wash it until its back to its original pure white color, & throw it in the bin.
Then, I let the hot water pour over me, rinsing away his traces on my skin, erasing my sin.
But deep down I know, my sin will never be forgiven & his touch will never be forgotten.

A few peaceful days have passed.
There's nothing out of the ordinary & I'm back to my mundane daily routine.
I haven't seen Taehyung again since that night, so I guess he just threw me an empty threat when he said that he wouldn't let me go.
Consciously though, I try to avoid passing the area where his tattoo shop is located to minimize the chance of bumping into him. So far, luck has always been on my side.
Sunday comes.
The most important day of all for Abeonim, because it's time for us to go to church.
Like I said, he is a very religious man. Thus, I've never missed going to church even once since I started remembering things.
No matter how sick or how tired I am, I have to go.
Today is no exception.
It is already very crowded when we walk into the church. Everyone greets us with a smile & so many people try to grab a chance to talk to Abeonim before the mass starts.
I stand silently behind him, focusing my gaze on the floor as usual, as I listen to him talking animatedly with the other churchgoers.

A ripple of covert murmurs attracts my attention.
Out of curiosity, I lift my gaze & my heart instantly drops to the floor.
Taehyung steps confidently into the church & sits on one of the seats in the back row.
He's wearing the same black leather jacket from the last time I saw him & a pair of dark jeans.
The memory from that night flashes vividly in my mind. The feel of his hands gripping my body, his lips grazing my skin, his tongue caressing my sensitive spots.
He looks up & our eyes meet for a fraction of second before I quickly avert my gaze.
Even though it was brief, it's enough to make me burn with shame & anxiety.
I tilt my head lower to hide my reddening cheeks, while praying that Abeonim won't notice my restlessness.
"Kang sajangnim, what should we do? Should we chase him out?" One of the churchgoers ask in concern.
"Of course not. God loves every one of us & this church is a house of God, so every one is welcome here. Maybe God has led this lost soul here to us." Abeonim wisely says & smiles.
The people who are listening all nod vigorously & mutter praises for Abeonim, like he is a Saint reincarnated.
But I know, he didn't mean a word he said. He despises men like Taehyung & would prefer them to vanish from the face of the earth.
"I'm going to talk to him." Abeonim begins to step away.
Panic instantly overwhelms my whole being.
"Don't!" I quickly grab his sleeve to stop him, with a voice that is slightly louder than intended.
"What?" He turns to me & looks at me like I'm delusional.
If there were only two of us in the room, I would already get yelled at to no end. But since we're in public, he can only convey his annoyance through his stern stare.
"W-We don't know what his intention is. What if he's here to cause trouble? What if he tries to hurt you?" I plead with the best excuse I can think about in a flash.
"Your daughter is right Sajangnim. It's too dangerous. Let one of us ask him why he's here." A female stranger comes to my rescue by agreeing with me.
My heart pounds inside my chest, anxiously waiting for his reaction.
Please say yes. Please say yes.
He looks back & forth between me & Taehyung, and then laughs out loud.
"Thank you for your concern. I know I'm old already & am probably no match to that young man if he truly wants to fight me, but I believe that we won't need to use our fists today. I strongly believe that if I treat him with kindness, he will do so as well. So don't worry. I will be fine." He pats my shoulder & squeezes it with just enough pressure to tell me that he's had enough of my nonsense.
"Y-Yes Abeonim." I nod at him.
Back straight, chin up, he strides towards Taehyung with a perfunctory smile on his lips.
When he finally reaches Taehyung & starts talking to him, I feel like my heart is about to explode.
A deep sense of fear overcomes me, like a sacrifice animal waiting to be slaughtered.
"Agassi, are you alright? You look pale." The female stranger from earlier asks in concern.
"I-I'm fine. It's probably the heat." I pretend to fan myself with my hand & continue watching my father & Taehyung.
They seem to be engaged in a casual conversation, smiling to each other politely.
What are they talking about? Has he told Abeonim about what I did?
Not long after, Abeonim nods at Taehyung & walks back towards me with an unreadable expression.
I swiftly lower my head & wait for him to sign my death sentence.
"There's nothing to worry about ladies & gentlemen. That young man is called Taehyung & he owns a tattoo shop downtown. He told me that he's heard a lot of good things about this church so his curiosity brought him here. Praise the Lord that He's guided another lost sheep back to where he belongs, in the loving arms of our almighty God." Abeonim addresses the small crowd around us in a joyful tone while his admirers oohs & aahs in adoration.
Honestly, he sounds more believable than the priest himself. That's how good he is.
The priest walks onto the altar, indicating that the mass is about to start, so every one immediately takes a seat.
Abeonim & I sit at the very front row as usual. The honorary seats nearest to the altar, reserved only for us. No one else dares to sit there.
I try my hardest to focus on the sermon & praises, but I can't. Maybe it's just my absurd intuition, but I can feel Taehyung's gaze boring a hole on the back of my head.
The tension is just too much for me to handle, twisting my stomach until the pain becomes physical.
"Abeonim, I'm so sorry, but I really need to go to the restroom." I whisper to him in the middle of sermon.
It should be God I apologize to, but I'm more afraid of Abeonim's wrath than God's.
"Can't you hold it in?" He hisses without glancing at me.
"I-I can't. I'm sorry." I clutch my stomach, the pain unbearable.
He finally throws a glimpse at my cold-sweat-drenched forehead & pale face.
"Fine. But make it quick." He commands.
"Thank you Abeonim."
I excuse myself right away & discreetly walk towards the side of the hall, out of the wooden swing door, to the hallway behind it.
The hallway is still & quiet. Only muffled voice of the priest can be heard from here.
I rush towards the ladies' room & lock myself inside one of the empty cubicles.
"Huhhh..." I huff deeply as the pain diminishes after I've relieved myself.
Right then, I hear a barely audible click outside, but I don't put it to heart. It's probably just one of the ladies from the church.
After I'm done, I mindlessly unlock the cubicle door & step out.
Someone covers my mouth instantaneously while pushing me back into the cubicle.
I'm so startled by the sudden ambush that it takes me a minute to realize that the person is none other than Taehyung.

"Hello there Virgin." He smirks.
My eyes widen in shock & fear. I try to scream but his hand muffles my mouth tightly.
"Shhh.. Are you sure you want to scream & let people know that you're having a secret meeting in the ladies' room with me?" He whispers.
My eyes grow even wider, if that is even possible.
"Now you get it, right? I'll take my hand off but you have to promise not to scream."
I nod once as a sign of compliance.
"Good girl." He slowly moves his hand away & smiles at my obedience.
I know that he's a bad guy, but his smile stirs something inside me. I'm terrified of him, yet my body longs for him, which is absolutely perverted & wrong.
"What do you want?" I ask once I've caught my breath.
"I told you I can't let you go just yet. You've made a huge impression on me Virgin." He pinches my chin with his long fingers & I swiftly shake them away.
"Is that why you come here today? Do you want to blackmail me? You're hitting the wrong target. I don't have any money, my father has never trusted me with it." I frown, struggling to sound as steady as possible.
"Money? I don't need your money. I've made enough money from my measly tattoo shop. Why is it so hard to believe that it's you that I want?" He chuckles, like this is all just a joke to him.
"I don't have time to talk nonsense with you now. If I don't go back to my seat right away, my father will come looking for me. I will be punished greatly, but so will you. You have no idea how cruel he can be." I resort to threat in desperation.
"Oh trust me. I know." He scoffs.
"Fine, I'll cut the bullshit. I want you to meet me at the place we first met on Wednesday at 11 AM." He quickly adds.
"What? No! I'm followed by my assistant everywhere I go & she reports everything to my father. I can't meet you!" I exclaim in frustration.
"Then shake her. Like last time. I'm sure you'll find a way Virgin. If you don't come, I'll tell everyone about what we did in the shed that night." He grins as he backs away from me & unlocks the door behind him.
"I told you I can't! There's no way-"
"Remember. Wednesday, 11 AM. See you there." He winks & leaves me gaping alone in the restroom.
What exactly does he want from me? Ugh, I'll think about it later. I need to go back to my seat now, I've been away for too long.
I gather myself & rush towards my seat.
"What took you so long?" Abeonim scolds me as soon as I sit down.
"I'm sorry, but I had a lot to release." I lie.
Come to think of it, after I met Taehyung I've lied to Abeonim so many times, much more than what I had done in the past 20 years of my life.
The rest of the mass proceeds smoothly & Abeonim doesn't seem to be suspicious anymore about my prolonged restroom break.
For the first time in my life, I can't wait to go home so that I can hide myself from Taehyung.
Speaking of the devil, he's approaching us with a wide grin on his face & I instantly tense up again.
"Kang sajangnim, you're absolutely right. I feel so at home in this church. I think I will start coming here every Sunday from now on." Taehyung cheerfully says to Abeonim.
"That's good to hear, son. You are always welcome here. I'll see you again next week. Have a great day." Abeonim pats Taehyung's back & motions towards the exit.
I quickly follow behind him, but then Taehyung's call stops me in my track.
"Agassi, I think you dropped this."
Abeonim turns around & looks at the thing that Taehyung's holding in his hand, while I freeze like a statue not knowing what to do.
"It's your handkerchief. Go get it. People are staring." He hisses.
"Y-Yes." I only dare to move after he instructs me to.
With head lowered, I pace back towards Taehyung.
"Here you go. Don't forget our date." He hands me the handkerchief & whispers the second sentence so that only I can hear it.
I gulp my saliva & snatch my handkerchief from his hand before dashing to the exit.
"Throw that thing away when no one sees. He disgusts me." Abeonim says as he smiles & waves at Taehyung.
"Y-Yes Abeonim." I nod, the thin piece of cloth burning in my hand.
"Now, let's go. I need to wash my hands from his filth. What did he say to you?" His smile disappears as soon as he turns away from Taehyung.
"N-Nothing. He only handed me the handkerchief. Oh, he did say, 'Here you go'." Another lie.
"Are you sure? It looked like he was whispering something to you." He raises his brow in suspicion.
The tremendous amount of fear that such an innocent sentence can instill in me might sound ridiculous to other people, but I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'm scared to death at the moment.
"I'm sure Abeonim. I would never lie to you." Yet another lie & we haven't even left the church ground.
"I'll trust you this time, but don't ever engage in any kind of interaction with him again. He gets on my nerves." His deep disproving frown tells me that I absolutely have to do as he told on this. If he finds me crossing the line, the punishment will be severe.
"I understand Abeonim." I obediently nod.
"Good. Kim Taehyung. He's definitely on my black list." He scoffs.
I'm absolutely doomed now.