Helena's Point Of View

By the time we reached Headal's capital my view of this world had been... ruined. I... honestly thought that I had seen the worst parts of this world just from visiting the slums... but according to Catarina children getting poisoned, kidnapped and assassinated is quite common for nobles. Especially the higher rank you are. They target each other on purpose because of politics, and none are better at this than the royal family of Ristaze. The loss of young children to politics is considered normal. This... feels quite different from what Lily meant when she told me that they had to sacrifice their loved ones though... this feels worse.

Furthermore, the countries surrounding Ristaze tend to lose more than one child of royal birth. They say usually about one or maybe two out of six children make it to their teenage years even despite the high amount of security. Headal is an example of this, except the mother was killed after she gave birth to Jacques, and the two sisters she had been feeding milk that evening died. Jacques lived because he was taken away to visit his father by a wet nurse... this too is considered normal by royalty and nobility. Catarina told me with a shrug that only Ristaze's royal family and house Salender do not suffer from this and simply try to keep one child for each family to prevent inheritance disputes.

"Helena Fox."

Jacques broke my stream of inner thoughts. He hadn't joined us in the carriage after the one weird conversation, so I hadn't gotten to ask him more questions or confirm his side of the story with Jesmaine. No... if he had been telling the truth then he had told both Jesmaine and I everything from the beginning.

"...yes?" I respond quietly. I don't know how to act towards him after finding out all of that about him... and about the world. He looks quite tired and his brows are lightly furrowed as he seems to evaluate me.

"You are spacing out. Come with me."

He motions me along with him while he turns and begins to head down the cold stone hallways. We are promptly surrounded by about five knights that go into a cautious formation around us, even though we are currently inside the castle. A normal maid coming out from another hallway promptly steps away and bows deeply... everyone we walk past does this without question or hesitance.

"I've no doubt that Catarina told you everything. As such, I make one request... or demand of you before I let you see Jesmaine. You are not to talk about the truth with her. She will end up doing something reckless and get in the middle of the war. Even you should understand that what we are attempting right now with Augustus is the most merciful method possible. However, Jesmaine won't accept forcing a civil war. She'll ask that we take back the demand... and it won't happen. Don't give her more worries than she has already."

His voice is calm, but I can't figure out his intention. If we keep quiet, then he will keep being the villain in her eyes. Since I don't reply he turns to me and stops up. His haunted violet eyes seem to pierce mine. He's probably right, after all, Jesmaine is really kind... but...

He presses his lips together and shifts his weight over as his eyes flicker off to the side again.

"Another thing... give her this..."

He reaches into his pocket for a sealed envelope. It's slightly crumbled and seems as though it's been in his pocket for a while. Even then it looks like he has fiddled with it, because the center of each crumble looks to be where the thumbs would be if he held it in each hand. It has the royal seal on it and looks awfully formal despite being in this state.

He holds it out, eyes down and away. He's not meeting my eyes at all, and this doesn't seem like an order... I remember Catarina saying he actually cares for Jesmaine, so it is probably make up letter. It's an unexpectedly sweet gesture that might work... but I want to tell him to give it himself. Before I can do so he grabs my hand instead and puts the letter into it with his lips drawn into a line. His hand is surprisingly cold...

He stares quietly at the letter in my hand and lets it go. Drawing his hand back as if with hesitance... he lets go of my wrist and pulls back.

"Wait. You should-"

He cuts me off quickly with an awkward and insincere smile.

"I will go later. I need to take care of duties."

His eyes drift to the side again and his smile falls as he turns and leaves. He just left me there without any other words than that. Was he nervous about facing Jesmaine because I said the thing about him being a stalker?

I look down at the letter that reminds me of confession letters from home... if it's just this much I can do that. They'll have time to talk it out after all.

One of the five knights stay behind with me while the other four leave with Jacques. The knight gives a short stare and then continues down the hallways of the castle. When we finally end up at an enormous and beautifully engraved door he steps aside. Compared to the rest of the castle, this place looks as though it is actually meant for a royal to live in if we go by Ristaze's standards... though... it looks old. Old but well taken care of. The rest of the castle is plain and grey, but this seems like it has been painted white to make it friendly and open.

A guard knocks on the door to the room and Jesmaine's voice sounds through the door. She sounds nervous.

The guards open the door for me and as I peer in I see Jesmaine surrounded by young beautiful ladies... and in the middle is Jesmaine clad in a warm cream colored dress. She almost looks like an angel with her long loose blonde hair and blue eyes to match the dress. It's beautiful in its simplicity.

She calls my name and with tears of relief I run to her arms and pull her as close as I can.

She is safe.

—-*—-

I end up crying for a while upon just holding her in my arms. I was so nervous all this time that she would have been hurt or been in some kind of danger. I'd even considered crossing the mountains on my own if Lily didn't accept letting me onto the battlefield.

To see and feel that she was all well made the worries fade. She was far from the war, the blood and the dead. I pull back to look her in the eyes and smile. The smile she sends me in return is angelic. We both wipe tears from our eyes, and Jesmaine's handmaidens seem to be smiling as well, though just small and hidden it means to me that they like her too.

There is a heavy knock on the door whereafter the guards call out the handmaidens. Jesmaine seems surprised, but I decide to use it as an opportunity.

I squeeze Jesmaine tightly. I may have gotten an order and request from Jacques to keep quiet, but I can't leave Jesmaine as the only one in the dark. I don't even think I would be able to carry this burden alone, and Jesmaine thought she had to carry that burden alone all this time.

"I have something I need to tell you."

I tell her everything in as short and fast a way as possible while trying to keep all the important details. Both about Lily's real identity as a samurai and the truth of the game. I tell her about Catarina. I tell her about Jacques and about Alstair and the thing with House Listere. Even about Claire and how she was fated to be tricked and used to destroy the other countries.

—-*—-

"...Catarina...chan... is a developer?" she asks nervously. She looks pale. The red in her cheeks from crying is gone and replaced with realization and horror.

"Yes," I reply calmly. I'm a bit surprised that was her first question. She grasps one of hands in hers tightly. Her hand is shaking and she's covering her mouth.

"Helena... please... tell me you're lying..." Her voice trembles and tears form in her eyes.

"Sorry..." is all I manage to respond as I stroke her back with my free hand and hug her close.

I hear a small sob from her.

"Is it because you called Jacques a villain?"

She jolts at my words and pulls back, staring at me with her big tear soaked blue eyes.

"How you do you know about that?"

I gently brush a couple of stray strands of blonde hair away from her face as tears roll down her cheeks.

"Catarina used it against Jacques and made fun of him about it. I think it'll be fine though. Catarina said it would be fine."

I try to reassure her that things are going to be fine. After all, if Jacques knows that he's a villain in the story then he knows she is just acting on that belief. Besides, the creator of the character said things would be fine, so they could still make up and be friends.

"He even asked me to bring you this."

I mess around and pull the crumbled letter from my pocket. It should confirm that things are find, and distract her from the sadness she was feeling. I hold it out to her with a gentle smile.

Jesmaine stares at the royal seal and then pauses for a moment as she takes it.

"Wait... did Jacques let you tell me about the truth?"

I look down to the side guiltily and rub my arm.

"He did tell me to keep quiet...but I couldn't let you be the only one that didn't know..."

She frowns immediately.

"I see... Jacques... he leaves ghosts here to follow me. He will know... and he's probably going to be angry with you."

...fffffk...

"J-just open the letter! I'll think of a way to plead for mercy meanwhile!" I insist and kind of push her hands a bit closer to her body to her to make her focus on the letter. With me having told her about the story of the world the misunderstandings between them should be over, so it can only go better from there.

Jesmaine looks a bit overwhelmed as she hesitantly cracks open the wax seal with a clack and opens the envelope... but as she reads the letter she goes ashen. She looks shocked to the point she even covers her mouth again.

It wasn't the reaction I was expecting, so I lean forward to peek at the letter from upside down. It's short... very short...

'Lady Jesmaine. I am annulling our engagement with immediate effect. You and Helena Fox will be escorted to a safe location, and your family will be compensated generously.'

I... don't understand... Catarina said he would stay with her forever no matter what... he'd been so nervous when he gave me the letter so how could this be it?

The door opened and a couple of handmaidens step in. They're carrying two sets of clothes, and their eyes lock onto us immediately.

"Lady Polliet, Helena Fox. We will be leaving the castle immediately. We've prepared clothes for the journey, please get dressed."

I stare dumbstruck at the handmaidens. Now? Wait... if we went now then Jacques wouldn't be visiting her later and explain this. They wouldn't be able to make up-... he lied...

The reason he had been nervous and had kept looking away... was that he had been lying. He had no intention of talking with her. He had no intention of making up with her or to make her understand why.

Then it hits me.

If I hadn't told Jesmaine about the plan, then the letter would have been good news for Jesmaine. Jacques would have remained a villain and she would have been set free, happy to not be a prisoner any longer. He'd been planning a pain free break and Jesmaine would have been happy and ignorant of the truth. That... that's just too cruel...

"Lady Polliet!"

Eh? I turn around, and behind me Jesmaine has opened the window and is crawling out of it... We're on the fifth floor of a castle!

"Jesmaine!"