You use the bike chain to secure your arm to the arm of your sofa. You then settle in for a day of vegging in front of the TV, resisting the urge to give in to whatever evil shit the monster in your mind wants you to do.

You wish your dad was still around. You wish he had never become a firefighter and you wish he'd never died in that stupid fire. He wouldn't know how to help you, but he'd be there for you and support you.

"Chin up, kiddo," he would say, any time you were going through a tough time. "Face it head-on."

Perhaps you aren't really facing it head-on by staying at home and not making any progress toward solving your problem. But this way, you can't hurt anyone, and that's good enough for you.

Your day is uneventful. You don't feel any other twinges of phantom pain, thankfully. But that evening, you begin to feel something different.

An itch under your skin burns through you. You suddenly feel compelled to unchain yourself and leave your house. You have to get to Brimborn Steelworks now. If you don't, you feel you'll die.

You yank at your bike lock restraints. The key to the lock is safely stowed on your coffee table just out of reach. But if you stretch yourself a bit further, you can grab it-

"No!" you mutter aloud. "Stop it!"

You settle back on your couch pillows, but then you feel it again. That urge to go to the warehouse. It consumes you. It's all you can think about.

The voice in your head murmurs that you need to go. That it's your destiny. That you're useless as-is, but if you join your new brothers and sisters, you'll be part of something much bigger than yourself. Something more powerful.

You reach for the key once more, pulling all your body weight toward it and wondering if you can wriggle yourself out of the lock without the key instead. Maybe you can be like an escape artist and dislocate a shoulder to get yourself free...

Suddenly, the desire to leave is replaced by a new wave of pain. It feels like your whole body is aflame, like you're melting, like you've been dipped in acid.

You stop scrambling for the key and sit back on your couch, scared out of your wits. Whatever's happening at Brimborn Steelworks, it's causing this kind of pain to the other possessed people. As tempting as it is to join them, as much as He yells in your head that you have to go right now, you resist. You won't let it end like that for you.

You stay on your couch, uncomfortable and hot and sticky with sweat. Everything is fine and you're content to sit there all night if it means you don't hurt anyone-until you hear a knock at the door.

You turn down the volume on your TV, hoping the neighbor asking for sugar or vacuum cleaner salesmen or whoever it is thinks you're out and leaves. However, a few moments later, you hear the knock again, along with: "OPEN UP! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE."

It's Billy Hargrove. Your panic increases tenfold. You dive for the lock key again, afraid that if Billy gets inside, he'll kill you for ignoring the demon's call to the warehouse.

You can't reach it and change tactics. Feeling a bit like a monkey, you use your foot to drag the key closer to you. It falls to the floor by your feet and you snatch it up, frantically unlocking yourself as Billy's knocks and taunts get louder.

As soon as you get free, you plan to escape through your bedroom window. But you don't get there in time.

Billy bursts inside, having used his shoulder to force your door open. He towers over you, sweaty and covered in black veins. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror by your coat rack and are horrified to see the same veins on your own skin.

"I told you to come when he calls," Billy says, voice dangerously level.

You aren't sure what to do. You aren't sure if you can talk yourself out of this, and you definitely can't fight your way out.

"Come with me," Billy says. "We have business to attend to."

"And if I don't?" you say, raising your chin defiantly.

"If you don't," Billy snaps, "I'll kill you and your little friend Steve Harrington."

Your heart pounds. You won't let him hurt Steve, so you follow him out of your apartment and to his waiting Camaro.

He drives to the Bradley's Big Buy store and demands you to wait in the car. He returns minutes later and says, "You're in luck. We're going to the mall. Maybe we'll see Steve, and he can see how much of a monster you've become."

"You're the monster!" you shoot back.

"We both are!" Billy says. He cackles. "But you're so much of a useless fuck-up, you can't even do this right. Your dad would be so ashamed of you, if the bastard wasn't six feet under."

You don't know how Billy knows about your dad. The creature controlling you both must have given him a glimpse into your mind. The thought sickens you and angers you all the same.

He careens on the twisty back roads of Hawkins, driving you two to Starcourt Mall. He orders you to stay in the car once more as he goes over to a station wagon parked by the entrance.

The mall is long since closed. You have no idea who's still here, and no idea why Billy is messing with their car.

He returns with a cable of some kind and tosses it in the backseat before killing the headlights.

"What now?" you ask, voice thick with nerves.

"We wait," he says, eyes glinting. He squeezes the steering wheel and stares.

A few minutes later, you see a yellow Cadillac convertible zipping from around the opposite side of the mall. You consider screaming for help, but you don't want the driver and passengers to be subjected to Billy's reign of terror.

As if he can read your mind-which, you think he can-Billy says, "Don't even think about it."

The Cadillac drives onto the main road and disappears off in the distance, leaving you behind. It's for the best. If you don't do what Billy wants, he'll kill Steve.

He'll also kill you, but at the moment, you're starting to realize maybe that's what needs to happen. If you do die here, it wouldn't even matter, because your dad would be waiting for you in whatever comes next.

A hubbub by the doors of the mall sends you on high alert. It's a group of people that you think might be some of Steve's friends. They load into the station wagon and, a few minutes later, pop the hood.

"What did you do?" you ask. "Why don't you want them to leave?"

"Stop asking so many goddamn questions and just do what I say," Billy barks. "I must've fucked up when I turned you, because you don't know when to shut the hell up."

You shrink in your seat, and then flinch when Billy revs the engine and turns the headlights back on.

The people in the station wagon scurry back into the mall. Billy watches them, eyes still glinting with malice.

You almost cry out in fright when you see a big, fleshy, disgusting monster crawling up the mall like King Kong. Strangely, you recognize it. You just know that that's the thing haunting you. If you had gone to Brimborn Steelworks tonight, you would've ended up a physical part of it. You shudder.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Billy murmurs.

You don't reply, swallowing bile in your throat. You glance at yourself in the side mirror. The veins on your skin pump to the beat of an unspoken melody.

You wonder why you aren't affected in the same way as Billy, why you can resist His influence more than he can. You wonder if that will change. You hope not.

The people Billy is stalking exit the mall once more, fixing up their car.

"Showtime," Billy says. He revs the engine again, and again, and again.

A petite brunette stands squarely in front of her station wagon, aiming a gun at you two.

"Wait," you say. "You aren't going to hit them, are you?"

Billy replies in actions, not words. He changes gears and slams his foot on the gas. You gasp and grip the dashboard.

"Billy! Stop!"

"Shut up!" he growls.

Bang! Bang! Two gunshots smack the windshield. You squeal in fright.

Billy is unfazed and continues to drive toward the girl. You know he's fully intending on hitting her and her friends, with no remorse.

"Stop!" you scream. "Please! Stop!"

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! More bullets. The windshield cracks deepen. Another couple shots and a bullet could go through and hit you.

You two are getting closer and closer to the station wagon. You ignore His evil whispers, telling you to let Billy do this. You reach over and grab the steering wheel, yanking it to the right and spinning back the way you came just as-

Crash! Another car-the yellow Cadillac from before-hits you from the side and the car spins out. Whiplash sends a sharp pain down your neck. Blood seeps from a cut in your forehead after your head hits the dashboard. Billy is unconscious next to you, slumped over his steering wheel.

Flames erupt over the hood of the car. You're disoriented from the crash, too out of it to register that you need to get out of here fast.

Roooooooar! The beast terrorizing the mall shouts at the occupants of the yellow Cadillac. You glance over and, despite your bleary vision, notice Steve and Robin climb out and book it toward the waiting station wagon.

It takes all your strength, but you force open your car door and stumble onto the asphalt, falling on your hands and knees.

"Steve!" you shout, voice weak. "Help me! Please!"

You're surprised he can hear you over the sound of the monster growling and snarling. But he turns to see you struggling to stand.

He shouts your name, terror etched in his bruised face. He makes a move to sprint toward you, but Robin grabs his arm and motions toward the monster.

Steve practically shoves Robin into the station wagon and slams the trunk door, hitting it twice to signal the driver to speed away. Then, Steve runs to you.

Thankfully, the beast follows the car, giving you and Steve time to collect yourselves.

"Hey, hey!" he says. He helps you stumble to your feet. "I've got you."

He notices the black veins on your skin and gulps. You expect him to run from you, to call you a monster. He doesn't. Instead, he gives you a tight hug.

"I've got you," he repeats, before pulling away, but keeping his hands on your shoulders. A grounding touch. "What happened?"

"Billy attacked me the other night," you say with a sniffle.

Steve's face hardens. He scowls over your shoulder in the direction of the unconscious Billy.

"I just feel sweaty and overwhelmed and angry and like I'm always being watched," you add. "But I'm not as far gone as Billy. I'm only here because he said he'd kill me...and you...if I didn't come along."

Steve's frown deepens.

"We can undo this," he says. "I promise you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Okay?"

You nod, shaken up. You glance at Billy. He's still knocked out, but you have a feeling he won't be down for the count for long.

Steve must think the same, because he says, "Come on, let's get inside. I have a plan."

He grabs your hand and the two of you jog toward the loading dock entrance. You almost smack into three of his friends. When the boy-Dustin's friend Mike Wheeler, you think-notices the veins on your face, he scowls at you and pushes a brunette girl behind him.

"Steve, get away from them!" a redhead shouts. "They're flayed!"

"They're fine, Max," Steve assures them. "They're not fully turned. They won't hurt us."

"That's just what the Flayer wants you to think!" the boy snaps. "I won't let you hurt El!"

"Steve's right," you say. "I won't hurt you."

But the creature in your mind has other thoughts. He's screaming in your head, telling you to grab El and bring her to Him. You squeeze Steve's hand a little tighter as you fight to resist his orders.

"I'm going to take them to the food court," Steve says. "Great American Cookie has an oven, and we can burn the Flayer out of-"

You all hear a groan in the distance. You whip around and gasp-Billy has stumbled out of his car. He locks eyes with Max.

"Go, go, go!" Steve yells. He smacks his hand on the gate close button and ushers you all into the mall through an employee entrance. The lights flash and flicker above you, giving you a headache worse than the one from Him.

You feel a wave of pain and cry out, falling to your knees. The younger teens falter, but Steve waves them to keep running.

"Come on, Waldenbooks," Steve says, trying to hoist you back to your feet. "We've got to run!"

"Go on without me," you croak, falling back to the ground. "He's too powerful. I can feel Him trying to take over."

Steve shakes his head, a bit frantic.

"No, no, no," he says. "I won't leave you. Jesus, I-I won't!"

You're mad at him. You're mad at him for sticking by you for no good reason, when you're possessed and potentially dangerous and losing your mind.

But you don't have the energy to fight Steve right now, not when you're also fighting the monster in your head. You allow Steve to pull you to your feet and drag you along, despite tiredness seeping from every joint in your body.

You meet the teens at a service elevator. Billy got there too fast, and lumbers down the hall toward your group.

"You just won't listen to orders, will you?" he snarls at you. Steve moves to stand in front of you and the younger kids.

"Billy," Steve says, giving him a fierce look, "stop."

"You don't have to do this!" Max adds. She steps out from in front of Steve, shoving him away when he grabs for her arm to pull her back. "Your name is Billy Hargrove. You live on 4819 Cherry Lane. Billy, please. I'm Max, I'm your-"

Thanks to your twisted connection, you know what Billy's going to do before he does it. You dive forward and intercept his arm, blocking it with your own just before he can hit Max. She squeaks and scrambles backward.

Billy tries again, this time lifting a fist to punch you in the face. You dodge it just in time, kicking him swiftly in the kneecap.

"Get out of here!" you shout at the others, lifting your fists like Rocky in the ring.

El, Mike, and Max rush down a side hallway. Billy watches them, nostrils flared.

Steve, that stubborn bastard, won't leave your side. Even though he's completely ordinary-not supercharged, like you and Billy-he stands his ground, willing to fight alongside you. If you weren't a bit distracted by the circumstances, you would find that super attractive.

The fight is a blur of fists flying. For a while, it actually seems like you and Steve might be able to overpower Billy. But then he punches you square in the nose and grabs Steve by the throat.

"Let go!" you scream, clawing at Billy's arm. "Stop!"

"I told you I'd kill him if you didn't listen!" Billy barks.

Steve coughs, eyes watering as Billy chokes him. The thought of Billy killing Steve terrifies you and angers you. You channel that anger and do something equal parts unhinged yet helpful: you bite Billy's arm.

"ARGHHHHHHH!" he screams, letting go of Steve and rearing his arm back until you let go. Steve coughs and rubs his neck, stumbling to the ground and passing out.

Billy turns to you, pure venom in his facial expression.

"I'm going to kill you for that," he says. The fact that his voice is devoid of emotion-that he speaks like it's a statement of fact and not merely a threat-makes you dizzy with fright.

You're too slow to react when Billy whacks you on the forehead. You hit the ground hard like a sack of cement bricks. Just before you black out, you feel him grab your arm and begin dragging you down the hall.

***

You awake to the feeling of being on fire.

You aren't literally on fire. But you might as well be.

Billy has dragged you and El to the mall's main atrium. Through blurry vision and your position sprawled on the mall floor, you look up and see all of Steve's friends throwing fireworks at the big creature that's possessed you.

Because of your sordid connection, each hit of a firecracker stings you, and seems to sting Billy too as he stumbles on his feet.

You try to stand, but it hurts too much. You resign yourself to your position on the ground. To your inevitable end.

You screw your eyes shut and try not to think about your father. You try not to think about the fact that fire is what killed him, and now it's going to kill you too. Not in the same way, but close enough.

You try not to think about the fact that you did this to yourself by choosing Hawkins as your new home. You try not to think about how much you liked being friends with Steve, how you hoped to be more.

Eyes still closed, when you feel hands on you, you assume it's Billy coming to finish you off and don't even bother to fight back.

"Wake up!" Steve says. Your eyes snap open. He's kneeling next to you on the dirty mall tile, holding a lighter. His neck is as bruised as his face now.

"I'm really sorry about this," he says, voice thick with sorrow, eyes glassy. He grabs your palm and presses it against the lighter's flame.

You cry out, not sure why he's torturing you when you're already in so much pain. You wriggle and writhe, trying to yank your arm away.

"Stop!" Steve says, frantic. "I know it hurts, but if the Mind Flayer dies while he's still inside you, you die too!"

It's all too much. Too much heat. Too much pain. As if someone took a dull knife and cut into you with it, like a freight train hit you at 100 mph.

However, the burning does the trick. You exhale and feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. You are no longer connected to the creature. You're free. You're yourself again.

You yank your hand away from Steve, breathing heavily. As colorful sparks continue rattling the atrium of the mall, you pass out.

***

You remember flashes of the ambulance ride to the hospital, with Steve seated next to you, holding your hand and murmuring that it's all going to be all right. You remember being wheeled to the ER, Steve promising to be waiting for you. You remember a check-up with a kindly doctor named Dr. Owens and him telling you they need to keep you for observation overnight.

But it's all fuzzy fragments. No details.

You fall asleep in your hospital room sometime past 3 a.m. When you awake again, Steve is there-changed out of his dirty Scoops uniform, instead in sweatpants and a basketball team t-shirt.

He's asleep, curled uncomfortably in an armchair in your hospital room. Just past him, you can see an open window. Through the slats in the blinds, the sky is dappled with stripes of pink light as the sun rises and a new day shines over Hawkins.

You wish you could enjoy the beautiful sight. But the town is now tainted with memories you'd rather soon forget.

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