The cold nipped at my nose and cheeks as I cried. It was an evil, bothersome pinch that wouldn't leave me alone. It strangled my lungs, so I couldn't breathe. I couldn't scream out for help. Worst of all I could still hear, and I could hear something nobody else could.

Anthony was crying too.

It felt like he was beating his fists into my chest. Every one of his whines were fists against my heart. Nothing would stop them. All I wanted to do was comfort him. Nobody was there to keep him safe from all harm. That was my job.

Tiny ice pellets left little bruises on my cheeks as I trudged forward. The marks started to sting. Damn me, I was going to get to Anthony. I was going to find my human. His wailing was just too much for me to handle. Never once before had he cried like that.

Late in the night I found myself at the edge of his yard. He was laying against the fence. His poor fingers were purple. He seemed to have been out for a long time based off the ice hanging from his clothes. I was a fool for leaving him alone. Two days alone and he was getting hurt. It was all because he wanted to be loved. He needed me, and I knew that. I wasn't sure if he wanted to see me. The situation left me helpless though. All I could do was walk to him, and see what he'd do from there.

Every inch of snow held me back. Each step seemed harder than the last. It felt like I was being pushed away from Anthony. It did seem like a typical situation where an angel would abandon a human. Maybe it was a sign that I should have. I was determined though, so I fought to keep to him.

With mere steps left I fell to me knees in front of him. We stared at each other. He could have done anything, anything at all. He could have punched me, slapped me, perhaps even stabbed me. Those beautiful eyes, just staring at me, soaked with cold tears, let me know he wasn't going to hurt me -at least not physically. His eyes were hurting me enough. What could be shown of his beautiful soul was shown in that moment. It was the soul I recognized, the soul I spent days with in fields of warm light.

Days where he was loved.

He probably didn't even realize it, but his soul recognized me just as well. There was no reason for him to trust me. I was no safe haven from the storm, yet he scattered into my arms and sobbed. I flinched at the sudden touch. I didn't expect it from him, but something about him in my arms felt so right. It was Heaven all over again. He was sobbing at the feeling of safety, just like a child who recognized safety. Children can still feel the holiness from Heaven, and it's evident in their eyes. That's why their joy comes off so bright. Anthony was loosing his holiness. He wasn't a child anymore. He was grasping on tight to holiness.

I put my hand on his chest. His heart was beating fast. That was perhaps the most stress he had ever been under. It made me feel awful.

I wrapped both my arms around him and whispered, "I'm not going to let you go. I'm sorry."

He buried his face into the crook of my neck. His cold, gentle breaths caused my spine to shiver. He was in my arms, and he felt more real than ever. For the first time I was feeling him as a living, breathing being. I could feel every shutter in his chest. For the first time he was more than just a beautiful soul to me; he was beautifully human, and for some reason I felt so happy about him being human like that. It made me feel almost better about the situation.

He was starting to feel almost better too. His sobbing was calming to a gentle weep and his breathing was becoming less broken. He was starting to stir in my arms too. I must have felt warm to him. The snow was still falling, but not as hard. It was best to get him out of the cold though.

"Do you want me to bring you inside? Your parents must be worried."

He shook his head and started sobbing again. Something must have been wrong with his parents.

"Well I have to get you warm somewhere," I whispered to him. He just clung closer to me. We weren't going anywhere. He still had to be kept warm though. I spread my wings and wrapped them around us. My clothes were ripped, but at least he'd be warm.

Anthony looked up at me with awe. I reached up to his cheeks and brushed away his tears. He leaned into my palms. "Please, never leave me again. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I pulled his head back to my neck and whispered, "I've got you. I'm not letting you go. You're safe."

He started to mutter into my neck, "Why do I have to be me?" over and over again. It broke my heart. I chose him special, and he couldn't see that.

All he wanted was to be loved.

"Why do you not love yourself as you are?"

He sniffled and laughed, "Look at me. I'm a mess. How could I?"

"I'm looking straight at you. You're a mess, but I don't blame you. I think you're wonderful," I said, and I meant it. I could tell from the look on his face that he didn't believe it. Yet I smiled at him and sighed, "Oh you. You better believe me. I've watched you your whole life. I knew you before your life. You're wonderful, Anthony. I know you are."

He sighed against my chest. I started to rub small circles on his back. He pushed his face into my chest. "I'm not. I told them everything. I told them what I did. I told them why I did it. They told me I'm possessed. Am I possessed? They didn't really believe the situation with Manaphel, but they said I can never come back because I'm.. A sodomite!"

I rolled my eyes and said, "Of course not. You're not possessed, and you're not a sodomite. You can't be a sodomite. I'd know for sure if you were. I feel like it's shameful amongst you boys to be a virgin at your age though, but it keeps you holy, which is a good thing to be. You're Anthony. As yourself, you're a lover, and you're scared, and you're amazing. You're everything I would ever want in a human. That's why I chose you to be my human."

He looked up at me again. Those eyes haunted me. They were empty as ghosts. He didn't believe me. He looked so cold, and he thought I was lying.

Then his eyes changed. They sparked to life again. I thought something clicked.

"You called me a spoilt child. Now you're here praising me. What am I supposed to trust?"

He was mad. Served me right. I had gotten mad at him.

I ran my fingers through his hair as I said, "You don't know the value of things. You were so alive and joyful. You could do anything with it. You were a child, Anthony. Now you're... Now you're growing up. You'll figure things out. I was angry and confused, and I have things to figure out too. Believe me, please. I was angry at myself because I lost you. You're the most important thing to me, and I lost you. I lost the only world that I've ever known besides Heaven. Here is where I belong. Somebody has to keep you safe. I'll be here. I'll be right here."

He closed his eyes and didn't say anything. I could hear soft breaks in his voice. He was almost crying again. When he opened his eyes, tears rolled down his cheeks. I whispered to him, "It's alright," and he believed me. I could feel it. I was his safety . He wrapped his arms around my neck and whispered, "I'm scared. I'm so scared. Help me."

I worked my fingers through the knots in his hair. It was getting longer than what he had taste for, but I liked it. It was soft and fit his face well. He looked so handsome with it like that.

"I know you're scared. I've got you. You're safe."

He nodded a few times, then sniffled, "I have no home to go back to. Where are we going to go? I don't have much money. I don't think you'd have any. What are we going to do?"

There weren't many places that I knew we could run to. Trains were always running through the station. Those were a possibility. They began to prick at my mind too. Anthony had never been on one, considering they were so new, but I knew he wanted to. He loved watching the trains go by. For hours he'd stand at his father's office window with his face pressed up against the glass, watching the trains roll by. They seemed expensive though. We'd have to save up money somehow.

Another option was going to stay with Manaphel and Ariel. I didn't want to, and I knew Anthony didn't want to either, but I also knew they had a place. It was a good place to go. It was better than sitting out in the cold. Taking Anthony there felt like betraying him though. I didn't want him to face Manaphel. That was keeping him anything but safe. It was leaving him vulnerable.

He was just as vulnerable in the snow. I whispered to him, "I have a place to go, just for a little while. We'll save our money and then we'll get out of here. I promise wherever we end up, you'll be safe."

I then let go of him, never fully letting go, but shifting him around enough for me to stand. I let him back into my arms and carried him to Manaphel's dreaded house. By the time we got there, he had fallen asleep. I wouldn't have to explain where we were after his breakdown, and he was calm enough to rest. That made me feel relieved.

I did my best to knock on the door. It was enough, because Ariel opened it.

"Did something happen?" Ariel asked as they looked over Anthony. I walked in the door and sneered back, "Of course something happened. I need a place to let him rest."

Ariel smiled at me and said, "I'll show you to a spare bedroom. Come now. Hip hip."

Hip hip. What did they mean by that?

I followed them to a spare bedroom. The bed seemed nice enough, and it was well decorated. We were both soaked and freezing. I didn't want to tuck him in like that.

"Do you have anything he could wear to bed?" I asked, and Ariel responded with a nod. They ran off down the hall.

Anthony was still asleep. He probably was left sleepless the night after he sold his soul. Him getting sleep was the most important thing.

"Oh you," I whispered to him, "What am I going to do with you?"

"I'll tell ya what you're going to do."

I jerked forward at the sound of hearing Manaphel's voice. She laughed at that and leaned into the doorframe. Typical demon behavior. As if she hadn't been bothersome enough she continued to giggle and laid down on the bed.

"You're acting very un-ladylike," I sneered. She just continued giggling. It was getting on my nerves. She could have woke Anthony up. That wasn't going to happen. "Could you shut your damned mouth? Please."

She did, but she just stared at me after that. I suppose it was better than cackling, but it was still nothing good.

"What do you want?" I asked, bluntly. Patience is a virtue, but when dealing with demons, virtues are out the window. I lost my patience.

She sat up and said, "I found somebody for Anthony to love. And I think he and Anthony might be a little bit in love already, but he doesn't realize it."

"Who?"

"I want ya to go take a fine look in the mirror, then tell me who."

I pursed my lips together and shook my head. She started to laugh again. I immediately stopped her by saying, "No. I'm an angel. He's a human. You won't. You can't. I'm holy!"

"I'll go find him someone else more qualified then. You'll get jealous though. Evanora told me about ya and how you ran off. I knew where you were going. I needed entertainment tonight. I watched that whole thing. Now he's here, sleeping in your arms. You're perfect for each other. You two are so good when you're not yelling at each other."

I regretted going there. She was just going to get on my nerves. It seemed like she never stopped talking.

"-Absolutely darling. That whole thingy where you called him wonderful and said he's the most important thing to you. I know that's probably how ya angels talk to your humans or whatever, but while I was watching it, I thought it was the most romantic thing. And just the way he'd hold you. He was holding on for dear life. It was adorable!"

Anthony started to stir around a bit. He groaned into my shoulder. I rubbed the back of his neck and glared at Manaphel. She smiled at me and said, "That's what I'm talking about."

I was relieved when Ariel walked in the room. They placed a thin shirt of some sort on the dresser.

"Thank you, Ariel."

They nodded at me and asked, "So is your boy warming up?"

"I suppose so."

Manaphel walked over to me. She stared at Anthony. A small smirk came to her face. The kind of smirk that made it obvious she was about to do something awful. I covered Anthony with my arm and said, "Don't. He's sleeping."

"Well, I was just going to say he'll be very warmed up in Hell."

She then brushed some hair away from his face. "Aw, he's cute. He'll be a toasty little cutie. A little tart."

"Don't touch him," I snapped, rather quick and thoughtless, but with reason. I tell myself there was a reason besides the one that was true, but even then I knew the real reason. She seemed to know it too.

"You're jealous. You're more jealous than I thought you'd be," she said, too over confident with herself, but absolutely correct. It was obvious she was going to be smug about it too.

I rolled my eyes at her and said, "He's sleeping. Don't touch him."

Ariel tapped on Manaphel's shoulder. "Come now."

She rolled her eyes back at me, before leaving with Ariel. It was just me and Anthony, alone. His face was buried into the crook of my neck, and from what I could tell his cheeks were still red from the cold. That pretty little face seemed almost divine. It swelled with peace. Underneath his eyelids was probably full terror, but while he was asleep, he could have peace.

"What am I going to do with you, Anthony?"

I looked up at the neatly folded night clothes for Anthony.

"Suppose we should get you dressed."

Only once had I seen Anthony naked besides from the day he was born, and I intended it to stay that way. It was the previous summer. He had been yelled at by his father for crying. I couldn't soothe him. As a punishment he was whacked with a switch till he bled. It was a horrid sight. Uncalled for too. He was embarrassed as one could be.

In the search for relief he went to the creek, and didn't hesitate to lay down completely naked in it. He laid in it for hours, and I wasn't just going to leave him there. He could have drowned! It felt extremely inferior to see him so naked and vulnerable, but what would people say if his dead body washed up naked?

I felt a bit inferior changing his clothes too. There was nothing wrong with it, and he wasn't even completely naked. I half expected him to not be wearing any undergarments, but I was pleasantly surprised. He was still sleeping though, and rather vulnerable that way. I continued to dress him as quickly as I could.

"All warm now," I whispered to him after I finished. I then carried him to the bed and tucked him in. His eyes slightly opened, and I wouldn't have noticed if he didn't mumble, "Ollie."

"Hm?"

"That's what I'm going to call you... Ollie..." he murmured before rolling over and going back to sleep.

I liked the name, probably because it was he who came up with it, specially for me. It was almost holy in that way. It suited me quite well, and I figured it was a good one to use amongst humans. It sounded like an endearment from his lips. I wanted him to say it more -but most of all I wanted him to sleep.

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching him. To me he seemed peaceful yet again, wrapped up in sheets of linen, with a cotton quilt on top. I felt like I did something almost right for the first time since I manifested. It all felt so right, yet I was panged by it being wrong. I was falling into wrongness. What did I care though? Everything I had been doing was wrong up until that moment, and something with a hint of good couldn't hurt.

I looked up from him, at myself in the mirror. What I could barely make of his face was pictured in the corner. For some reason he seemed so far from me, yet he was so close. He looked beautiful, and I looked almost weary. My hair was a mess and I was soaked from the snow. I pushed myself off the edge of the bed, then walked to the door. Manaphel could be standing out there, I thought to myself, but I was worrying thoughtlessly. I twisted the knob and listened for a second. No one. I pushed the door and looked around. Still no one. It was safe to step out.

"Hello, angel."

I thought it was safe to step out. It would have been useful to know demons hang on the ceiling.

I fell to the floor, which caused Manaphel to laugh. I was left just to stare up at her.

"Manaphel! You can't do that!"

She dropped from the ceiling. "Why not?"

I got up and rolled my eyes at her. "Because it's rude. You act very rude."

She rolled her eyes back at me. It was almost like a game we were beginning to play. The winner was the most smug and petty one.

Anthony then peaked out from behind the door. He looked at us, bewildered about what he was hearing.

"I heard a crash of some sort."

Manaphel didn't hesitate to say, "Yeah, that was your angel. He fell. I scared him. Scared angel. I scared an angel. I did that."

"Wah-wah, demon. You can have your pity win there," I spat, then stepped closer to Anthony. I smiled at him and said, "I was startled. Not scared. Anyway I was looking for something I could change into. I would rather wear something dry."

Manaphel chuckled, "You're gonna empty out my entire closet if you keep needing clothes. I don't think I mind. Most of them I don't wear anyways. I can go getcha some if ya'd like."

I was wearing Manaphel's clothes. It felt wrong. I couldn't understand why a demon would wear linen, or why a demon like her would have men's clothes. That was beside the point. I was soaked and I was about to put on more of Manaphel's clothing.

"That would be rather kind of you."

She started to walk off, then turned around and said, "I'm glad you're getting that situation with your voice settled in. Ya sound like a human being now, and not a chalk board. You'll get used to things."

Anthony bit his lip. "After she comes back with something for you to change into, I'd like to talk to you about what happened, if that's alright with you."

"Of course it is! I'd love to. Yes, we can talk."

I then saw Anthony almost smile. The corners of his lips twitched. He still seemed sad, but not so sad. It made me feel almost better.