That afternoon we sat together some ways down the track. It was the best place for jumping. Nobody was around to see us. Not a soul knew where we were, and it was best that way.

"Can you hear it coming?" Anthony asked me as he looked down the track. He stood up to see better.

"I can. Are you ready to go?"

He extended a hand to me, and I took it. As we looked at each other he asked, "Are you?"

I nodded and got up. I could see the train coming. "Let me jump first. I'm immortal. I'm replaceable. You're not."

"Alright. Get ready."

Within no time the train was whizzing past us. I ran with it. Anthony followed close behind. There was an open door I could jump into. I just had to time it right.

Three.

He was slowing down.

Two.

Would he stop?

One.

I jumped. I made it. I got off the floor and looked out the door.

"Come on, Anthony!"

He started to run a little faster, but I could tell he was growing tired. I reached my hand out for him. "Come on!"

He clenched his teeth together and jumped. There was no timing to it. I was terrified he was going to miss and fall under the train. It all happened so quick. He was a few inches short of the door, and he knew it. I could see the flash of fear in his eyes. It couldn't be the end already. I wouldn't let that happen.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him in. He sent both of us rolling backwards, but we both made it.

"Anthony."

His eyes were squeezed shut.

"You can open your eyes now."

"Am I... Am I dead yet?" he asked with perhaps the most shakey voice I ever heard. He had never been so terrified before. It baffled me how jumping on a train was less scary than selling a soul. Probably just another complexity of the human soul, I figured. Humans are complex beings, and puzzles I could spend ages figuring out.

I put my hands on his shoulders. "No... No, you're alright," I soothed as I pulled him closer to me, "You're just fine. You can open your eyes now."

Relief washed over him. It was a moving feeling. Almost like he was seeing with new eyes.

"I'm alright."

I patted his chest and nodded. "You're alright. I've got you."

He leaned into my arms and began to cry. He buried his face against my neck. "Thank you, thank you... Thank you, Ollie," he sobbed over and over again.

"Shh, it's alright now."

I could feel every rise and fall of his chest. His movements were beginning to slow. He curled closer to me, yearning for comfort. I began to rub circles onto his back.

"You're alright."

He pulled away from me a bit and whimpered, "I almost died."

I patted his back twice. "You're not going to die today. I'll keep you safe."

"I don't want to die."

I pursed my lips together. At least he had a will to live. Most humans were terrified of death. Anthony had his reason to be.

"I'll save you. Don't worry. You won't be Hell bound forever. I swear it."

He pulled away from me and looked out of the train. "Do you know what dying is like?" he asked while staring out at the passing horizon. I couldn't see his eyes. I wondered if he was more curious or scared.

"It's like going to sleep, I suppose."

He looked back at me. It was definite fear in his eyes. Not only was he afraid of Hell, he was afraid of dying too. I was plenty aware of when his day would come naturally. Manaphel could have interfered with it, but I'm sure she also knew his life wouldn't last all that much longer. My sweet Anthony had about two decades left on his life. Heart failure would be the natural cause of death. I was aware of it from the beginning. It was a bit typical of a death for my taste, but assigning deaths wasn't my job, nor was having an opinion. One of those I took up on Earth. In my opinion, he had no reason to fear dying as much as he did.

"It's painless. Don't worry, Anthony. You won't suffer... Perhaps the cause of death will cause you to suffer, but the actual dying part doesn't hurt. Do you think I'd ever hurt you?"

I barely heard him respond, "Maybe."

"No. I wouldn't. At least not with intent. I care about you too much to harm you. When you die, I'm going to be right there. I swear it."

I got up and moved to sit by him. He still seemed nervous, so I put my arm around his neck. I smiled at him and said, "Today is not the day, anyway. Worry about death later. We're living for today."

He nodded and leaned against my shoulder. His cheeks were starting to turn red from the cold. I pulled him closer to me and whispered, "You should rest. You haven't slept well recently."

I leaned back against some boxes and looked down at him. His face was pressed into my collarbone, but he still seemed cold. I spread my wings and wrapped them around us. He looked so small beneath them, but a little bit bigger compared to how he looked the day prior.

"Ollie?"

I started to run my fingers through his hair as I hummed, "Yes?"

"Are you... Ashamed of me?"

I wasn't expecting that. I stopped moving my fingers. Shame? I was disappointed most definitely, but shame was something entirely different. Shame felt like such an unfamiliar feeling too. I couldn't be ashamed. I started to move my fingers again as I hummed, "Of course not."

No. This was Anthony. I couldn't be ashamed of Anthony.

He looked up at me. Oh his eyes. Those eyes again. I could see the shame in his eyes. Maybe I wasn't ashamed of him, but he was certainly ashamed of himself.

"Anthony," I whispered, "Don't look at me like that."

"Then I shouldn't look at you at all. Holy thing."

I ran my fingers through his hair and whispered, "You're the reason I'm holy. Your sin doesn't make you a shame."

He closed his eyes and asked me, "Then what does it make me?"

"Human. It makes you so incredibly human. It's your humanity. It's everyone's humanity," I answered as I moved my hand to his cheek. It felt so delicate, almost like linen, underneath my fingers. He was a doll in my hands, and I was a mere child before. We both became things for fate -or perhaps God -to play with the moment I stepped foot on Earth.

"Then free will is a terrible idea," Anthony muttered.

Perhaps God was always playing with me like a toy. I, a very obedient toy, was suddenly becoming less obedient and therefore more dirty. Dirty toys always get thrown away and replaced with new ones. I was nothing more than something to be played with, then thrown away. Anthony too, but he was meant to be like that. Humans are disposable to most. In that case, I must have been a hoarder. It all must have been very amusing for God to watch. One of His pretty little dolls getting dirty with the sinful, nasty humans. My doll was making me all the more nasty.

"Perhaps it is... Perhaps it is," I sighed, "Yes, perhaps it is. But that's you humans' fault. There's nothing I can do to help you now."

Because I was a doll too. I couldn't even help myself.

I patted his cheek twice as I sighed, "You should sleep. You don't have to worry about free will when you're trapped inside your own head. Sleep, Anthony, sleep."

He closed his eyes and mumbled, "I don't know where I'm going to wake up. Don't know when I'm going to wake up either."

I whispered his name, but I had nothing to say, really. Why would I argue? He was falling asleep anyways.

"Be at peace for a bit," Anthony I whispered as he finally fell asleep.

How lovely.

I felt a bit better. I did something right, finally.

Oh I must have been dreaming. Silly foolish me. Peace and all things lovely are always temporary except for in death.

When he woke up again in the morning we were far from home. I'm not too sure where we started from, but we ended up in New York -The Great Metropolis. I could feel the air. It was muddled and cold. It stunk of horse shit and fine perfumes. Things were being built everywhere; roads, buildings, factories.

"Look at it. Isn't it... Awful?"

Anthony rubbed his tired eyes and said, "It's busy. I wouldn't call it awful."

"We should get off here. This is where we'll stay," I said to him before I jumped. I went rolling along the ground. He decided to jump off after I was all brushed off and standing.

"Hesitant much?" I called out to him. I should have figured. Human nature.

He stumbled to his legs like a new born animal. Just like a little animal that was on the edge of life and death. Exposed to the newness of the world, and all its dangers. An animal. That's all.

I walked over to him and put my arm around his neck. "Come on. We need to get into town."

He panted a bit and stared at me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

He blinked a few times before hugging me. I was almost knocked over. Before I knew it he was crying against my shoulder. All I could do was hold him, just like how he wanted to be held.

After holding him for what seemed like long enough I asked, "Why are you crying?"

Those teary eyes. He stared at me with those teary eyes. I was haunted by those teary eyes.

"I'm scared," he whispered to me, "I'm so scared. I want to go back home."

I closed my eyes and pulled his head back to my chest. "There's no home to go to," I responded. He understood. His stillness told me all I needed to know.

"Come on, Anthony. If you want to go home, we have to make you one. We can't do that here standing in the cold."

"I know," he sniffled. He then pulled away from me and wiped his nose with the back of his wrist. "I just need a moment."

I gave him the time he needed. Within a few minutes we were walking into the city. Shops lined the streets. A few people scampered around like street rats. Their angels sat watching from the middle of the cross roads. How safe they must have felt! I could never. In fact, that day I made a point to avoid cross roads unless I had to go. I also could not bare to be around my own kind anymore. I was no longer one of them.

"Seems like an interesting place," I muttered as I pulled Anthony down a side road. "Maybe you could get a job!"

He started to follow me without me tugging on his shirt. "I've never worked a job before," he whined. Spoiled, yes, very spoiled he was. His spoiled-ness was shining through like a fussy ray of light.

I shrugged his whining off. "Well, congratulations you'll get your first job here then. That or we can sleep in all that!"

I motioned to the piles of fecal matter in the road.

"Do you want to sleep in all that?"

Anthony looked down at it for a moment. "N-no. No I'm too good for that," he muttered. He was not too good for it. I would have pushed him into it if his clothes did not have to stay so nice. It sounded like a good way to take him down a notch. Hard work would also take him down a notch too.

I put my hands on my hips. "We should go find you a job," I said before emerging from the side road. He was still following after me. Not much better than a dog, I thought, but dogs are loveable and loyal.

"What about you?" he asked. I put my thumb to my bottom lip. Yes, about me. I was unsure about that.

"Not exactly human," I muttered, "I'm not skilled at anything, but watching you. Perhaps I could find some religious work."

Anthony said, "I'm sure there's something more suitable. Maybe you could learn something. Places like these always need-" He paused for a moment, thinking, hopefully thinking about something I could be useful for. It came to him like a breath of fresh air. "Bakers! And dress makers! Those are good! Don't you think those are good? Yes? No?"

He seemed excited about it all. It was all over his face, he felt good about figuring out what I can do.

"I could perhaps try my hand at baking. What about you? You came up with a job for me before you came up with one for yourself."

He looked down at the ground. "Perhaps... Well I know factory life. Maybe I could work at a factory."

From that day forward I was a bread maker. The bakery happened to be hiring. That was less luck and more divine influence. Had to make Anthony proud, after all.

Day after day I spent rolling dough between my palms. It was almost like a sacred ritual, like a desperate prayer. I made good bread. It was always nice and fluffy. Buttery and creamy too. People would say it tasted like Heaven. It had the angelic touch to it, after all.

Sometimes after work I'd stay late. I'd have more time for preparing it. I would make it special for Anthony. I would bring it home immediately after it hardened and let it cool on the table. When he got in he would take off his dirty work clothes and sit down at the table. Then he would eat and praise me for the delicious bread. It was so much less than what he had before, but it was what I could give.

He almost seemed happier with it. He was learning the value of things. With that, he was learning how to appreciate things more. He was learning how to care for things except for himself.

That was the satisfaction I craved. Doing something right for him. That was all I wanted. And to be loved for it! It was all I could ever ask for.

There was something more though. Something I learned about myself when Anthony went on a train trip across the country, and insisted he wanted to go alone. I respected his wishes.

The day after he left a mysterious lady came into town. She carried herself with elegance and style. It was true vanity. Everyone was in awe of her. She was tall, and by their standards gorgeous.

Her identity was no mystery to me. I knew it was Manaphel. Demons are sorely recognizable. They could all dress up in silly costumes, but their presence drapes over an area like a blanket. Things always did seem warmer when Manaphel was around.

She came to see me at work one day. She ordered a loaf of sweet bread. That was all she ordered, so I knew she wanted something else.

"Manaphel, if you're looking for Anthony, he's out of town. He'll be back in a week."

She looked up at me for the first time. Those eyes, they seemed haunting and needy at the same time.

"No, it's you I want to speak with," she replied. She then slid the money over the counter. "Here. I want to talk. Meet up with me later. I promise, no tricks. You've got my word on it."

I put the money in the cash box and sighed, "I'll know where to find you. You're not hard to find."

She took her loaf of bread and left the shop without another word.

That night we met at where the river turned brackish and met the sea. The moon hung over head, giving just enough light for us to distinguish each other.

"Well?" I asked as I approached her.

She crouched down to the grass and took a seat. "Sit. Sit and talk to me. You've been away for six, maybe seven years now. What have you been doing all this time?"

I took my spot next to her after I finished. I chuckled a bit, unable to help myself. It was a little bit funny. "Has it really been that long?" I asked, getting a nod from her in response.

"Well," I sighed, "I've been making bread. I live with Anthony. He works in a factory. We make enough to get by. He's been learning a lot. I've taken him from being a spoiled brat to a well mannered man. And I've learned about human life."

She nodded more and said, "You're acting like one of them now. You sure are learning."

"I see you've lost your accent. Or rather I hear it," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess I have. Me and Nora moved. We're not too far from here actually. Things were getting rough back home. You wouldn't wanna be there. It's... It's nasty."

"Oh?"

She continued, "People like Evanora, and oh poor Jasper... They're slaves. I'm sure you know about it."

I bit my lip. Of course I knew. Everyone knew.

I nodded once, wanting her to go on.

"Yes, well we wanted to go somewhere she could be safe from all that. And Jasper, poor Jasper, what they tried to do to him. And you know how his skin is with his lighter spots. Cruel humans... He's in cat form more often now. He's been traumatized. I've been wondering where are all these humans' angels?"

I looked down at the ground and sighed, "Not the angels' faults. It's the humans. Free will. Humans can only be guided so far."

"Yeah... How has Anthony been for ya now?" she chuckled, seeming to wanting to lighten the conversation. I couldn't blame her for doing so, but it seemed like a topic we shouldn't have been avoiding. I figured we'd talk more about it later.

"Anthony is a fine gentleman now. It's easier to teach him like this. I think he just needed his time to grow up," I responded. I thought that would be a satisfying answer. Manaphel had to be the curious demon she was.

I didn't expect her to ask, "So is he in love with anyone yet?"

That caught me off guard. It was the deal though. Of course she was wondering about it.

I wasn't too sure about the real answer. All the feelings were very confusing to me. Of course I was attached to Anthony. He was my human, after all. But we were more than bread.

We were mornings on rooftops alone, watching the sun rise. We were nights spent together in bed, just holding each other for warmth. We were Sunday afternoons, drinking tea and giggling like children. We were close. We were friends, obviously. I loved him.

There were times though. Times where he looked into my eyes just right. Times where he cupped his hands around my face. Times where he'd giggle not because of some joke, but just from being happy about me being around. Those were the times I wondered if he loved me in the romantic sense.

Those were the times I loved him the same way.

"I think so."

She clapped her hands together. "Great! That's great! How's his man doing?"

"Uh... About that. He doesn't exactly have a man. He has feelings that he keeps to himself."

Her hands then dropped. Of course she knew what that meant.

"Does he still want you?"

I turned my head away from her and whispered, "Maybe."

"Oridon! What have you said to him about it?"

I stood up and said, "Nothing. Not a thing. I don't want to say anything."

"It's rude to just not give an answer," she whined. Imagine that. A demon giving an angel a lecture on being rude.

"I'm not sure what my answer would be. That's why I don't give one."

"Oh? Elaborate."

"I love him. I love him a lot. I'm just not sure about romance. That's all. I need time to figure it out."

"Ollie you've had six years to figure it out. I'm kind of on a time limit here."

I laid back in the grass and sighed, "I'll figure it out soon, don't worry."

"Let me know when you do," she mumbled as she walked off into the darkness.

I found it suiting to just lay there alone. The stars were comforting. Hopefully Anthony was looking at the same night sky. Even more so, I hoped that he'd be safe amongst the stars eventually. Then it hit me. If I kept procrastinating, that would buy Anthony more time.

Manaphel couldn't be that stupid, right?

Never underestimate Manaphel. She is never what you think.

Two could play at her game.