https://youtu.be/CuYCGSVZdEM

I am good with my superiority complex. I have it. And I accept it. Every human being with whom I cross is inferior to me, and it's not their fault. So I try to show condescending to them, explaining things many times and from the beginning so that everyone understands me. That, to my surprise, works for me with many women, although others give me a slap or an insult before they lose sight of me forever.

At work, however, I usually get poorer results. Especially in job interviews. I have learned to disguise a little that the interviewer is inferior to me to get the job. Then, once achieved, I am in charge of creating a harmful work environment, in which people understand that I have arrived to command. Nobody can command me, I am superior to all.

The fact is that the last job interview was interesting and I decided to report it in writing. So, if one day I feel like laughing for a while, I'll read it.

The job was human resources technician, according to my labor relations studies. A woman came out of a door and made me pass. Perfect. A woman was easier to deceive. She shook my hand but I gave her two kisses.

-In professional contexts we usually greet in a more formal way, Mr. Manrique.

-Well, it's still not a professional context since you have not hired me yet. I thought we knew the difference.

She looked at me grimly and replied:

-I'm not going to interview you, I'm Mr. de Pablos' secretary.

-What a fright, I thought I was going to be interviewed by a woman.

How had it not occurred to me that she was the secretary? She looked away with contempt.

-Enter the door on the left, candidate Manrique.

I went in and found a bald, formally-dressed man, dangerously hunched over some reports.

-Mr. de Pablos, I suppose -I said.

The old man looked up and reminded me of a weasel, whom I would have disturbed while it digging in the dirt.

-Have a seat. Are you Carlos Manrique?

-That's what my ID says.

-All right, I introduce myself. My name is Carlos de Pablos...

-My namesake. That is a good sign.

-...and I'm responsible for Sincaset's human resources department -he didn't seem to have heard my comment. He must have been a little deaf-. I am conducting a series of interviews to fill a position as a human resources technician in my department and I have to tell you that I have already interviewed several candidates. I will be frank with you. The level is high, Mr. Manrique. I do not say it to discourage you, but I like to be transparent from day one.

-It doesn't discourage me. I like that you consider this meeting as day one, that implies there will be day two, and day three, and many more.

-Well, it was a way of speaking, do not take it literally.

-When it's in my interest, I take things literally.

-I will continue. The position that is vacant consists in collabor...

-I read the ad. I have studied labor relations. I know what a technician position in human resources consists of. You can go directly to communicate my future salary to me and ask me the situational questions to corroborate that I will perform.

-Mr. Manrique... I have to tell you that you show some arrogance...

-I just want to get to the point. I guess your time is at least as valuable as mine. True?

-True. But I think it is necessary to keep the forms and procedures. Especially in a job interview.

-Go ahead, I'll let you do it your way, Pablo.

-Mister de Pablos...

-If we keep so many formalisms, we will never end.

-Pablo is not my name. My name is Carlos. Carlos de Pablos.

-Come on, Carlos. Spit it out.

-Look, I am beginning to consider that perhaps you are not the most suitable candidate for this position, and as you are the one who appreciates the time saving I will tell you that...

-Ask me a question. Just one. The one you want. If my answer doesn't satisfy you, I will leave.

Silence of several seconds.

-I'll play your game, since you only ask me for that -the old man adjusted his glasses-. Imagine you are conducting a personnel selection process. You did most of the interviews through Skype and in the end you stayed with the three best candidates, whom you bring to Sincaset in person for a final face-to-face test. That's when you realize that one of the candidates is pregnant. The position requires immediate incorporation and dedication. There is no doubt that her pregnancy could be an obstacle to this short-term objective. However, the woman has shown excellent performance in all the trials of the process so far. What would you do in such a situation?

-Is that even a dilemma? She would leave. Out of the selection process. It's what Sincaset would like, beyond hypocritical assertions that only serve to handle the situation in a politically correct manner. I know it. You know it. The CEO of this company knows it and would do the same. A private company like this doesn't do charity, and neither wastes time with gentleness. Maybe we could let the woman participate in the last test to avoid unnecessary complaints, but of course we would not take her into account for the final decision, no matter she does it well or bad. Yes or no? If you don't hire me right now it's because you're a picky guy who gives in to the pressures of social desirability and lacks guts to incorporate someone who overflows ambition and pragmatism. Do you know why? Because in a few months I can ascend non-stop and conquer this company. You are afraid of me walking over you, since you take three hours to make a decision that I would take in a minute?

The man de Pablos didn't say a word. After watching me closely while I answered, he got up slowly and went to the door. He opened it and pointed to the exit with his hand:

-Go conquer the world, Mr. Manrique. See you, never again hopefully.