I hate suddenly waking up in the middle of the night.
Tears visible in my eyes shone by the light of our bedroom lamp.

No one would know.
No one would hear.
All the whimpers and tears that I've made throughout the years.

The calls for help,
Which never reaches beyond the surface. Only inside my head.

I hate it when the words I write come back to me.

When I realize that what I said may have caused a disaster, even if I only mean well.

If only I was just like before.
Silent, not a word needed to be uttered.

It's better than me being rendered speechless.