For quite a while, she was in need of a long-term break so that she could heal her life's permanent trauma. Life was suffocating her since it happened, and she was now too exhausted to cope with the pain-clouds above and around her. All she was doing was struggling and pretending to move on in life. She wanted to escape the surrounding darkness. But it was an impractical thought. Because she knew she could not. She hated her life at those moments. She hated everything that had happened to her, and those dark times had caused a permanent fear in her for her future.

Priyasha inhaled and opened her eyes slowly. She was trying to meditate by watching one of those guided meditation tutorials from YouTube. Her mind, however, wandering around all over the place. It just wasn't working. She was wondering whether they say this nonsense to gain more subscribers. Maybe she needed more time with herself because she was just overthinking and nothing was helping her to get out of those bad memories. She wanted to move on, but she couldn't.

Stretching her arms, she stood up.

Her apartment was small but comfy. Upon entering, there was a small living cum dining place. One bedroom on the left with an attached bathroom, and to the right, there was the kitchen.

She went to the kitchen and prepared her meal. Her mind often replayed the recent events that took place accidentally.

How ordinary it seemed when she moved to the city and things started to fall in places. But... did they really?

The doorbell rang, startling her. Because it was almost 11 pm and no one had ever come to visit her this late.

She trotted toward the door and opened it. It was Vrinda. Priyasha wondered if something was serious because Vrinda never showed up this late before.

"Aunty? Anything serious?" Priyasha asked her as she moved inside and strode to the couch. She was panting and perspiring since she had to climb a floor higher than her own.

Vrinda sat down and looked at her. "Priyasha, I have a request for you."

Priyasha noticed Vrinda was a little off. She was hesitating to speak to her. Her eyes were giving out more even though she was trying to cover it.

"Tell me, Aunty, whatever you need done from me." Priyasha sat down beside her and looked into her eyes. Some teardrops were glistening there and were on the verge of coming out.

It is an interesting side of humans. They hide their emotions exceptionally well. They don't care about their emotional needs. In fact, they care less about their distressing souls and only get concerned about the worldly consequences.

Priyasha's heart squeezed inside when she saw Vrinda broke down in front of her. She wept and every pore of Priyasha's skin shivered watching the grief her eyes were making. Non-Stop tears were staining her face as she started shaking visibly within moments. Priyasha started panicking about this old lady's hysteria. The problem was, she wasn't telling anything.

"What happened aunty, please tell me," She cooed in her ear while holding her hand, trying to soothe her.

"Amit, my son..." She paused and more tears pooled in her eyes. Priyasha nodded to express her concern as it was scaring her out seeing the old lady like that. Lots of uninvited thoughts on upcoming consequences were bursting in her head.

"What about him?"

"He was killed in a shootout last night Priyasha," Aunty blurted out in a single breath, "He was only an innocent pedestrian. He had nothing to do with that criminal encounter. Did he?" More tears escaped her eyes as she broke down completely.

Priyasha held her there for a longer time. She felt like crying, to tell aunty she understood the pain she was going through but nothing would come out. She could not. Just there was a familiar feeling of her heart silently breaking into pieces, without letting the other person know.

She stayed silent.

After a while, Vrinda sniffled then wiped off her tears. "Priyasha,"

"Yes, Aunty."

"You'll have to move on. My daughter-in-law and granddaughter are coming to stay with me. You know, this is the only place I can offer to them. I don't want them to feel the same way I felt after my husband was gone."

Priyasha shook her head. In the back of her head, she realized, in a matter of seconds, she was now homeless. "When will they be arriving?"

"Tomorrow evening." Vrinda looked at her, then she uttered a heartfelt sorry and Priyasha's heart melted.

"It's okay Aunty. I'll vacate this place tomorrow morning. Don't worry. If you ever feel you need my help, just tell me. Okay?"

Vrinda eyed her relieved but guilty at the same time. She stood up and hugged Priyasha lovingly. Priyasha hugged her back and took her up to the door.

It still hurt her whenever she observed how far she had come after her nightmare. No matter how hard she tried to scream her heart out to the world, words wouldn't form. She couldn't express her feelings to anyone. Although she was getting better, there was this sharp pain that came crashing down to devastate her inside world from time to time.

She moved across the room to her bookshelf and pulled all the books out from their respective places and they all fell in a heap. She brought out two packing boxes from below her bed and started putting everything inside them. But froze immediately while she found a particular book while stuffing them inside the box. She stared at that for a long time until the burning on her left breast returned. She fought the urge to throw the book away and forcefully made herself stuff it inside. The novel's title reminded her of the reason of her nightmare. The one whom she loathed down to hell, who had given her a constant reminder that she belonged to a monster. She blinked her stinging eyes then went to pack other things.

Tonight, sleep was to no avail.

~~~

12th July

Priyasha entered the office cafeteria at lunch break with Sonya and Neha.

"What will you do now?" Neha asked. They settled down around an empty table with their food plates.

"I have talked to HR for accommodation, she said to wait up till 4 pm. Then only she can help with any information."

"Have you talked to any agencies?" Sonya asked.

"I did. There's this agency named Mitras. They said they need a week to provide me with an almost livable apartment." Priyasha rolled her eyes and ate a spoonful of rice.

Neha eyed around the cafeteria and located Abhiraj. "Girls, have you met our new colleague? Abhiraj Roy?" All three turned their heads at him. He was sitting at the far end corner, alone.

"Of course. He was our savior the day before yesterday," Sonya answered chewing on her food.

Priyasha remained silent and averted her gaze to her plate.

They had more than just met.

"Really? This morning, when Vikram summoned me for a quick meeting, he was already sitting in his room. He's reticent. Didn't exchange a single word in the first meeting, only agreed whenever Vikram suggested something." Neha rolled her eyes then concentrated on her food and started consuming it like it was going to run away.

Priyasha dropped her spoon on her plate sitting back. As an unusual instinct, she glanced at Abhiraj's way and caught him staring at her. His gaze made her self-conscious causing her to straighten up. She grazed her hand over her hair nervously and blinked away.

There was something unusual, intimidating about him which was unreasonably unnerving her. She looked up again and discovered his eyes were still on her. She tensed up, barely moving on her seat. She felt anxiety nagging at the back of her mind. If she didn't get a hold of herself soon, it'd give out way too much of her nervousness. She hated feeling like this. She wanted to be brave in her life for once and all. But, at times and situations like this... she'd just freak out. Like right now, she was suddenly palpitating and sweating.

"Girls I have to go," she blurted out and left the place hastily. She heard Neha calling after her, but she wasn't in a state to stop and explain.

She only hoped HR could help her out with accommodation.

~~~

Unfortunately, it didn't go as expected. HR couldn't help her in this short notice. Although he promised to help Priyasha with accommodation, it wouldn't happen before next month.

She was down to only option and that was booking a hotel room. It would definitely cost her a few fortunes, plus she needed a new phone. She didn't know how to manage. Sonya lived in a mess and Neha's house didn't have enough space for another person. She already had two sisters to share her room with.

She was sitting below their office building with two of her bags and considering seriously whether to call her parents or to check in some random hotel. The place was becoming quieter. It was almost 7 pm, and she was still clueless. Her colleagues left just when she forced them to go home. Although she told them she would book a hotel room and find a way out, she herself wasn't very confident about that.

Priyasha was staring down at the phone screen Neha had lent her. She shuffled through the hotel booking app, desperately searching for any offers that could cut down her expenditure, when she suddenly saw someone taking one of her bags away.

"Hey, hey, hey...what are you doing? Excuse me, that's mine," she shouted aloud, and the person turned to make her shut instantly.

"You? Err... what are you doing?"

"Come with me to my place until you find another," said Abhiraj Roy.

She looked up, surprised and daunted. She should say something in denial. He couldn't just do that. She barely knew him. However, she stayed quiet. She had noticed whenever she was around this man, some uncomfortableness ran through her spine. There was something in his gaze, it almost unnerved her.

Yet, right now, she got the nerves to stand there, facing him. These contradictory impressions were driving her nuts.

"You should say something," he said as he grabbed another bag of hers in his other hand.

She nodded. "Yes. Technically, I should be screaming for you to take advantage of my helplessness, as I barely know you. But I seem not to find myself in such a danger. Am I in danger?" She asked him instead.

He eyed around the place. His dark eyes twinkled for a split second. Priyasha was feeling nervous around this guy she barely knew, and rightfully so. But the concern he was showing to help her was undeniably tempting. He looked into her eyes and responded, "Tell your friends, you have found a place and send them the address. If anything bad happens to you, I'll take the responsibility."

They stood there in awkward silence for some moments before she let her need for a home win over her nervousness. s

She slowly nodded her agreement. "Okay."

They walked up to his car in silence before he tucked her bags behind and Priyasha settled down in the passenger seat. He got inside the car then gripped the steering wheel and inquired, "You okay?"

Okay? Did he really expect her to be okay in this helpless situation? She thought to snap at him but then decided against it. She only nodded and turned her head to the window and put it down. The silence that had ensued between them stayed intact until he started the ignition and the car took off.

Her heart squeezed inside as she watched the traffic passing by their car. Her hair fell loose by the wind blowing past. She leaned back as all the harsh truth hit her, harder this time. Why did everything turn too hard for her? First her identity, then her vigorously scarred puberty and then the hardships she had been facing since she moved into the city. A stream of tears rolled down her face unknowingly. She was tired of fighting.

Fighting and failing each time.

"Do you want to talk?"

She shook her head and wiped off the tears. Her fingertips running on the windowsill on their own as she turned to him.

He stated calmly, without looking at her. "Don't waste your tears. They too belong to... someone who cares."

His comment surprised her, but she said nothing. He drove in silence after that and let the rest of the journey quickly pass before they arrived at their destination. It was a five storied apartment.

His car slid through the sideways and inside the ground floor at the parking lot where she saw five more cars were parked. The car came to a halt before they climbed off of it.

He took one of her bags in his hands leaving the other for her as he gestured to her to follow him. They reached the elevator where she saw a boy standing by the elevator. Priyasha assumed him to be the caretaker of the building. He took the bag from Abhiraj and all three of them went inside the elevator. Priyasha noted, he lived on the second floor.

The boy took a quick glance on her then hastily looked away. Abhiraj remained quiet for the whole time until the elevator stopped and all three of them moved out.

"You need not to follow us," Abhiraj muttered as the boy cowered away inside the elevator and Priyasha saw him looking at her apologetically with some concerns in his eyes before the door closed. What was it?

"Come." Abhiraj pushed the key inside the lock and the door opened of apartment number 202. She stepped through the front door and looked around the living room. The place certainly looked cozy with a leather couch set, a TV hanging from the wall, a bookcase, many of them caught her eyes, and a computer desk sat in a corner. She dropped her shoulder bag on one of her bags before going over to the bookcase. Her fingers ran through their covers feeling them in which she took great pleasure. She wondered if she could borrow the books from him to devour them.

"You can sleep in that room." Priyasha turned to see him pointing to the left. "First door."

She nodded and grabbed her bags, walked through the hallway on her left and found the door already open. She opened the door and the fragrance of vanilla hit her nostrils. Wow!

The room had cream-colored walls and a tidy bed at one side, a small lamp table beside it and an almirah at one corner.

She dropped her bags on the floor and plopped down on the bed immediately before a groan left her mouth. This was great! She had to live with a stranger whom she barely knew. A probing thought crossed her mind.

It is strange how sometimes without reading the ongoing chapter properly, we turn over to the next chapter, expecting it to be vibrant and glorious unlike the previous. Past might have gone wrong for us, but we still remain hopeful that our hearts won't break apart in future.

It hurts when lovers turn into strangers but it is equally excruciating when a stranger tries to come closer when you have nothing precious to give them back. You only feel lots of what-ifs, maybes - and insecurities. That's the point. You have hope but your expectations are empty.

A sudden knock on the door made her sit up hastily. "Yes?"

Abhiraj's face appeared as he stood there with two bowls on a tray.

"I thought you'd be hungry. Some noodles were in the fridge."

Her face blushed awkwardly. It was way more thoughtful than she had expected. She made room for him as he settled down on the bed keeping the tray between them.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Priyasha whisper-asked him curtly. "Why are you so willing to help me?" Where did you come from suddenly to save me?

He remained quiet for a moment, staring at her. She shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze and felt nervous again. He sighed audibly and stood up facing the open door putting his hands in his trousers pockets.

Something went off. It felt strange. She could feel her heart was palpitating and small tremors of nervousness coursing through her. The empty apartment zeroed in on their presence and she didn't know how to react, how things will turn out because this was the feeling she had never felt before. A new course of anticipation broke free inside her. He turned his attention on her. Her hands went cold as he studied her curiously. She knew, he could sense her nervousness, however, he spared her the silence she needed much at that time.

Both of their gazes fell on the food tray at the same time, and then he replied quietly, "I don't know. Maybe because it feels right, that's why." He then bent down, grabbed one bowl and left.

Her heart continued doing the extra thump-thump long after he was gone.