"Was I mindless in the world,
Was I oblivion into words,
Did I stepped upon a thorn taking it for granted as a grass,
Did I fall in the lie?"

♤

Reckless decision are made to be regret. And right now she regretted every single second she spend here. No amount of gentleness can calm the violence stirring in her guts. Her loose form slumped against the thick, cool mud wall breathed a heavy sigh. Adorned in the loose beige silk gown with pretty intricate designs on the edges. Above she wore a long maroon arabic gown. The intricate done with golden thread on the command of Baraq. The twilight night deepened and the feelings in the guts deepened to, heavily settling deep into her stomach.

How naive was she to let her consent be the shield of her or be the nail for the shield she has made around her? What was left now to destroy more? She was a wife to an unknown person, who doesn't even belong to her world. A heavy sob wrecked through her body, echoing in the close walls of the small room, where she sat abandoned with her own self. The silence pricked on her skin, it itched as they time passed. And she stayed awake for her husband to show up. Her head heavy with dread but she has to face her husband one day or another. This night seems the night of tryst.

The window of the room jerked open making her startle on her place and she forgot how to breath. The breath turned into a lump stuck in her throat. A smooth black shadow loomed over the window. And fight made home in her heart.

A groan was heard as a grown man pushed himself swiftly into the room.

Baraq.

Her eyes widened with deep concern forming into tears.

"Wh-at a-re you doing here?" She stuttered through her question.

"What if he saw you here?" Again her shaky voice escaped through her throat lacing concern over the edges.

"I told you he doesn't care about anything." His sandy golden eyes reflected the angry flame of the ancient lantern.
Something fall into her stomach. Why did she felt disturbed by her husband's carelessness? Why did she felt disheartened by the denial of her husband's arrival? Tears by tears like a small waterfall slipped down from her eyes. Her head secured with the red scarf tightened around her head shook heavy with her shoulders as the sobs wrecked through her sobs.

Her knees tucked up beneath her chin made something crawl into his heart. A piece of memory flashes against his sandy eyes. He remembers how just few moments ago he married Layla, for the sake of her family. His jaw grind hard, teeth against teeth, muscles tightening hard.

The memory fresh of their marriage making home into his heart.

"كان بإمكاني أن أخبرك بالحقيقة في حياة أخرى، ربما في عالم مختلف. حيث كنا ننتمي إلى نفس العالم. حيث تعرف كيف تتغلب على الخوف من فقدان الأسرة، حيث أحلم بتكوين عائلة، حيث نتشارك غبار نفس النجم. حيث كنا ننتمي لمرة واحدة تحت نفس السماء. حيث كان بإمكاني أن أدعوك بقلبي. أوه، يا للسخرية، ليس لدينا أي حياة أخرى، ولا لدي القلب لأدعوك ملكي. لأنه يوجد شخص ما في عالمك، يحلم بك. لذلك، لن يكون لدي قلب لأدعوك ملكي."

"I could have told you the truth in another life, maybe in a different world. Where we belonged to the same world. Where you knows how to overcome the fear of losing a family, where I dreams of having a family, where we shares the dust of the same star. Where for once we belonged under the same sky. Where I could have the heart to call you mine.

Oh, the irony, neither we do have any other life, nor I have the heart to call you mine. For, somebody is there in your world, dreaming of you. So, I shall never have the heart to call you mine."

His low rumble echoed in the room, warmth of his words evaporating into the thin mist. Eyes landed upon his bride and his lips uplifted into a small smile under his keffiyeh.

Her brows drew together in confusion and she pointed accusingly at him.

"What are you speaking?" Her question came out in anger but in a whisper.

Jerking up, she stood up and crossed the distance between them. Her fingers curling around his collar as she pulled him closer to her face.
"What do you speak everytime? You are mocking me in your language?" Her red rimmed, angry eyes boring holes into his face. His calm sandy eyes drinking her features in landed on her eyes. Gazing intensely at her.

Slowly the crease smoothed on her forehead and the anger faded, turning into vulnerability.

"Baraq." A call whispered between them as she leaned against his rigid form.

"I know Allah tests his strongest soldiers," the words were followed by the heavy breath of Layla.

"But I am going to fail all these tests." Vulnerable. That was what all, Baraq saw in her eyes. She was not even an inch closer to any kind of peace. What she showed was lie or she loves to live in the oblivion?

He stayed numb at her question. Dread quietness veiled over them. His hands stayed at his sides as she shook against his body. Her fingers tightening over his lose fabric of thobe. The maroon veil over her face stuck wet onto her skin, from her tears. And his fingers swiftly moved tucking it down revealing her face all red and wet from tears.

"Those were the poetry and proses. I like to weave the words into words making them evaporate into heavy clouds." Her palms felt rumble of his words.

"Tell me them all." She demanded making him chuckle softly under his breath.
"I don't want to, for the words of poetry breaks a person more than the action of humans." She understood the denial under his tone.

A jerk jolt upon her body and she pulled herself away from him. Confusion clouded over his eyes heavily.

"What if my husband finally decides to show up for the last hours of night?"

A question rang over her head like a bell.

"He won't."

"How are you so sure?"

"He doesn't care. He wouldn't care. Even if you had a marital affair behind his bac-"

"Never. I have to live a life to please Allah. I can't fall so low. You should respect my husband. I do too. I don't know if he will ever accept me as his wife or not but he is my husband, in every sense of the world. He will stay as my husband until the world ends." He was shook by her thunder clap words. How could she accept any stranger as her husband?

"Ho-"

"I accepted him as my husband when I gave my consent to him. I don't care if he comes to me or not but I will forever stay as his wife."

A buzz rang in his whole body and he couldn't form any words to speak. Here, he was trying every reason to stay away from her and she spewed every reason to be his wife.

Tears slowly welled up in her eyes and she sat back down on the small couch.

He felt ashamed out of nowhere and leaned on the wall. Her words rang in his mind like a song on repeat making his mind go hazy. Breaths turned heavy and he realized he couldn't stay near her anymore.

Jumping over window he ran into the land of far away desert.