chapter one — in his arms
August 11th, 1978

        Summer was warm. Summer felt free. Barty and Evan were mostly free to do whatever they wanted. Amalthea and Bacchus Rosier were away most of the time and so was Daphne. For some reason, his mum didn't mind the two boys sharing a room, after all they were best mates so why would it matter?

For the past few weeks, Evan found himself nowhere else but in his arms. In Barty's arms. He didn't bother going out in London but if he did, it was with him. As weird as it seemed, Evan couldn't imagine his life without Barty. Surely, he had already thought of not having Barty in his life as his best mate but as his boyfriend was harder than he thought.

Evan shook the negative thoughts away because there was no possibility of him losing Barty anytime soon. Instead, he let his eyes fall back on Barty and smiled at the sight of him. He looked so peaceful and Evan didn't think he had already seen him so relaxed. Barty was constantly under pressure because of his father and school, so it was nice to see him slowly let go of that heavy luggage.

Carefully, he approached his neck and let his lips glaze on his skin. Evan watched as Barty's body was submerged with goosebumps. A smirk appeared on his face as his arm tightened around Evan's body, pulling him closer.

"Good morning to you too," he chuckled, stretching. Evan had seen him do it multiple times and realised that he stretched the same way every single morning. "What's so bloody funny?" He frowned.

Evan shrugged, leaving the bed, "Your way of stretching every bloody morning," he replied as Barty whined. "What is it?"

"Why are you leaving the bed already? I just opened my eyes," he said.

Evan snorted, "We are going out today," he said simply, walking towards the bathroom as he could hear Barty whining from the bed because he did not have the time to get properly ready. "Bart, we are going out for a few drinks, that is it."

"Well, it counts like a date, doesn't it, love?" He whispered, making his way towards him and kissing him gently on the lips. " So?"

Evan blushed, nodding, "It's a date," he agreed as Barty threw his fist in the air as if he had won a Quidditch match.

As Barty got ready, Evan couldn't help but notice how the manor was quiet and he assumed Daphne was off somewhere. All she did lately was spend time outside. They had celebrated her birthday not too long ago, she had laughed and drank. Daphne even admitted the day after that the whole night was a total blur, to which Barty laughed loudly and told her he couldn't remember a thing either.

Evan remembered. He remembered how they danced in the middle of the crowded bar, he remembered how Barty reassured him and told him that no one was looking at them. He even remembered the moment where Barty pulled him in a dark corner just to snog him. It had been a good night.

"Do you know what Daphne is up to today?" Barty asked, walking out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. "Ev?"

Rapidly, Evan's eyes met Barty's, "Sorry, er, she's not here," he answered. "Why?"

Barty shrugged, "I had some questions to ask her. But that's fine, it can wait."

"No, what is it about?"

Barty smiled, "Aren't you a little curious?" He teased but Evan knew he was trying to get away with it.

Before he could leave, Evan grabbed his wrist and brought him back closer, "Bart," he warned, giving him a questioning look. Barty sighed, defeated and looked down at his feet. "You can tell me anything."

"I–I want to join the Death Eaters."

Evan frowned, "Oh," he let out, sitting down on the edge of his bed. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly before speaking up again. "I thought you didn't want to anymore..."

"I do! I still do," he answered. "I don't know if I'm worthy enough to do what is asked of me. Will I be able to murder an innocent man–"

"Or woman, even children," Evan cut him off, recalling all the mad stories he had heard at the family events. "Salazar, that is mental, Bart. Don't become one," he said, his voice shaking as if he was almost begging.

Even though Evan wasn't on his knees, it all sounded the same to him.

"Ev, I wa–"

"Is it what you really want?" Evan asked, almost shouting but keeping his voice down enough so Tilly wouldn't hear. "Have you seen how miserable Daphne is? Or Regulus? They have completely changed! It made them change. The mark did it."

Barty was looking at him with pure confusion as if Evan wasn't allowed to state his opinion on the matter, as if he didn't matter. He suddenly felt so little and so ashamed of his outburst like a child throwing a tantrum after their parents said no to something. Evan released a breath, running a hand through his hair as he tried to think of a valuable reason for his anger.

He loved Barty, Salazar...he adored him.

"I'm sorry," he croaked out but no answer. "I don't know why I di–"

"Evan," Barty cut him off, making him go silent again. "Why don't you want me to join them?"

"Because I need you to be okay," he admitted softly. "I need to wake up tomorrow and know that you are okay, safe from whatever's out there."

"But," he paused, reaching for Evan and cupping his face. "But, I'll be fine. You do know that?"

Sadly, he knew Barty Crouch Jr. would be totally fine with or without a mark but something in him wanted nothing more than to keep him away from the War. He wanted to keep Barty safe. Evan had no desire to become a Death Eater, he had seen the aftermath of bearing the mark on his own sister and cousin. So, why did Barty feel the need to become one?

"Barty, I love you," he blurred out. "I do love you and that is the reason why I need you to be safe," he added.

"You love me?"

Evan shrugged, "How could I not?"

"Well, I could write a whole list on why I am not good for you," Barty said. Evan hummed, arching an eyebrow. "I am curious, how?"

"Well," Evan snorted, shaking his head at the absurd question. "Just you being yourself, Barty. It is more than enough for me to fall in love with you."

"Oh," he said, letting out a shaky breath as if he couldn't believe it. "That's—"

Evan chuckled, reaching for his hand, "You don't have to say it back, Barty."

"Right."

Things were silent as they continued to get ready. They headed downstairs and grabbed a plate of whatever Tilly had prepared for breakfast—which turned out to be delicious. By noon, both of them agreed to go to a city far from London and close to the sea. Clevendon. Evan had no idea what was so great about Clevedon but Barty seemed to love it–so once again, Evan found himself agreeing because he loved seeing him happy.

"You're going to love it," Barty reassured him as they apparated on a hill not so far. His hand was tightly wrapped around his as if he was scared of Evan running away. "I used to come here for holidays. My mum loves it."

"It looks nice," Evan commented as he scanned the town around him. There was a pier, which Evan had never seen in real life. He didn't travel much outside of London and Scotland. "Can we walk on that pier?"

Barty nodded, "Yeah, of course! There are benches and all that. It's nice," he told him. "Oh and we can visit the Clevedon court!"

Evan nodded his head, chuckling quietly as he realised how much Barty loved this town. He never thought he would come to visit a mediaeval court with Barty Crouch Jr., if anything, he thought he would be the type to destroy it.

By noon, Evan could safely say that Barty was right and he loved it here. People were nice and the air felt so pure. Also, they could hold hands or hug whenever they wanted without having to hide. It felt so peaceful.

"How's your day so far, Ev?" Barty questioned as they sat on a bench, ice creams in their hands.

"Brilliant," Evan admitted, making Barty smile widely. "Thanks for showing me this little town."

"Do not thank me," he replied as it went silent again, both of them lost in their thoughts. Barty cleared his throat, turning his body so he was facing Evan. "About this morning–"

"You don't have to say it back, Bart," Evan cut him off.

Barty rolled his eyes, "I know but I want to," he told Evan. "I love you and it is a bloody terrifying thing to say out loud, Ev."

"I know, Bart."

He let out a sigh, his lips forming a thin line as if he was thinking of the right words to use, "But I do love you," he said. "This summer with you, Ev–It has been bloody brilliant."

"I know," Evan replied. "I know."

But something kept telling him that Barty would join somehow, it was like a gut feeling–the ones where it was almost always positive and likely to happen. He didn't know why he felt the urge to secure Barty's future as well, he knew deep inside that Barty would be totally fine living through the chaos but he couldn't lose him–just not yet.

On his side Barty felt relieved in a way? Those three words had been waiting to be spilled out ever since they stepped foot in the Rosier Manor and he couldn't believe that he was actually saying those words, on a pier, in Clevedon. But it did feel right.

Barty scooted closer, his shoulder brushing against Evan's but instantly Evan backed away, "What are you doing? You sai–"

Before he could finish his sentence about how he had told him before they couldn't be affectionate in the real world, Barty crashed his lips on Evan's and waited for him to melt into the kiss. As he pulled away, Evan kept his eyes closed which made Barty laugh out loud.

"What are you laughing at, tosser?" Evan asked, slapping his arm. "I thought you said–"

"I know I said things," Barty cut him off with a sigh. "But, we are in the middle of nowhere, Ev. We have barely seen four people today, all of them were way too old to be part of this War if they were wizards."

"Yes but–"

"There is no but, alright? We should enjoy our day together, yes?"

As usual, Evan couldn't resist Barty and nodded. So that's what they did–they hung out at the pier, laughed about Snape and the day where he spilled his cauldron on his robe and spoke about their childhood.

By the time they got home, Evan's mum was in the kitchen with Tilly and Daphne had returned. She greeted them with a kiss on their cheek and made her way to the kitchen as the two boys followed from close.

"Ah and they have returned," Amalthea said with a kiss. "How was your day?"

"Fine," Evan replied, matching her enthusiasm. "We went to Clevedon."

"Oh, isn't that far?" Daphne asked as she threw some peanuts in her mouth.

Barty shrugged, "Kind of but we had a good day. They have this mediaeval site, it's cool."

"Brilliant, then," Amalthea breathed out, putting a hand on Daphne's shoulder and kissing the back of her head. "I'm glad you boys had fun but now it is time for a shower, yeah?"

"Right," Evan chuckled.

Taking a shower with Barty was probably Evan's favourite thing to do. He adored the way his hand caressed his body and how his lips kissed the back of his neck.

"Why won't you take the mark?" Barty queried.

Evan shrugged, "Daphne is a Death Eater because she wanted to protect me so I won't go against her," he explained. "Besides, I don't want to become one–it is not really what I want to do in my life."

"Right, you are the wise one, then?"

"Something like that," Evan snorted.

Before they walked out of the bedroom to join Daphne in the living room so they could play wizard's chess again; Barty grabbed his face and kissed him longly and slowly, making Evan melt in the kiss.

Walking down the stairs, Evan was thinking about Daphne's obsession with chess ever since the summer had started. He reckoned she had something troubling her mind but he didn't dare ask so instead they played against her to make her happy.

"Ready to lose, tossers?" Daphne shouted as Evan could hear his mum scolding at her. "It is not a mean word, mum!"

Barty sat down in front of her, "The real question, Daph, is are you ready to lose?"

"Please," she rolled her eyes, moving her first piece.

Evan watched Barty laughing and shouting, all he could think of was tonight. After dinner when it would be dark outside, he would be in Barty's arms again where everything was right and so warm. 

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authors note, they're going to hurt so bad and i can't wait for yall to read it hehehehe