chapter one — the brightest star
June 9th, 1978

          Evan didn't like coming up here much, he hated high height and loathed the dark but he liked Barty, and Barty loved it here. Actually, he had been the one showing him the Astronomy Tower. Their little secret meetings started back in December, right after the Christmas break. After Evan witnessed his own sister becoming a Death Eater and being tormented by the thought of it–he realised how much he liked Barty and couldn't bear to see him share the same fate as Daphne. Well, it turned out that Barty had his eyes on Evan for quite a long time as well.

None of it was official, though. They shared secret glances, stolen touches and even a few innocent kisses. Nothing more.

It was now the beginning of June. A day before Daphne's graduation. Both, Evan and Barty, had agreed on staying at Hogwarts until Daphne graduated since Barty was set to spend the summer with Evan. To be completely honest, Evan could not wait to spend it with Barty.

Despite the late hour, the breeze was warm and hugged Evan's face. He tried not to stare too much at Barty, still feeling a bit nervous around him. Being alone with Barty was very different from strolling in the hallways with him and Regulus.

"I can't believe Daph is graduating," Barty finally mumbled, breaking the silence. Their legs swung in the void. "Aren't you a little sad your sister is graduating, Ev?"

Evan rolled his eyes at his poor attempt of starting a discussion, "Of course I am, Bart. She's my sister," Evan replied.

Barty hummed, lighting his cigarette as Evan watched him inhale and exhale as if he had done this his entire life. Barty and Evan came here often, up the astronomy tower, because they felt safe—away from the outside world. A world where judgement clouded people's mind, a world where Evan would never be accepted as who he truly was.

"What is going on, Ev?" Barty asked, once again pulling Evan out of his thoughts.

He frowned, "What?"

"You seem away," he notified quietly, the cigarette hanging loosely on the side of his mouth. "You can tell me anything," he emphasised the last word, nudging him a little.

Evan hummed, "Well—I'm getting bloody bored of hiding," he admitted. "If we..."

"No, Evan. It would be too risky," he cut him off.

"Right."

Barty sighed, slightly turning his body so he was facing him, "Hey, look at me," he cooed gently, throwing the cigarette away and cupping his face. The pad of his thumbs caressed his cheekbones, making Evan close his eyes at the contact. "It doesn't change the way I feel. I would love to be with you, in front of everyone but we can't."

"Bullocks, I know that," he muttered angrily. "It's just—"

"Oi, stop being a wanker!"

Silence again. Evan was not being a wanker, perhaps Barty was one for refusing to be with him publicly. Was it so idiotic of him to want to hold his hand?

Seeing he was getting no answer, he continued, "I like you," he said and Evan ignored how his heart skipped a beat. "I like you more than you will ever know, Evan. But we can't go around holding hands and kissing in front of everyone," he added.

"I am not asking that."

Barty hummed, shrugging, "But you will someday and I can't say yes to that."

"Why not? Is it me?" Evan asked, looking up at the stars. "Are you actually ashamed of me?"

Barty didn't stop himself and laughed loudly, "How could I be ashamed of you, Ev?" He queried, his hand reaching for Evan's shoulder. He then slid his arm around his shoulders and brought him closer. Instinctively, Evan laid his head on Barty's shoulder, "You are the brightest star here. I could never be ashamed of you and the way you make me feel. If my name wasn't Crouch, I would have kissed you in the bloody Great Hall, in front of everyone."

Evan blushed lightly at the thought, "Am I really the brightest star?" He joked.

Barty chuckled, his head falling back a little and Evan did his best to not attack his neck with kisses, "The brightest of them all, love," he whispered in Evan's hair.

If Evan was really the–his brightest star then he was totally okay with being secret. As much as he would like holding his hand, he loved the idea of being called love and being reassured. With Barty's arm around him, everything felt so warm and safe, as if no one could reach them up here.

Minutes after, Barty threw his cigarette away and they headed to the common room. Not a lot of people were there, all of them were seventh year so Barty and Evan had the dorm to themselves. By one in the morning, they were both in bed and staring at the ceiling.

"Ev?" Barty's voice echoed through the room as Evan hummed. "Can you sleep with me tonight?"

"Why?"

Barty shrugged, "I don't know. I just want to hold you," he admitted as Evan stood up and joined Barty's bed. "I'm sad that Daphne is graduating..."

"Are you?" Evan asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, I guess. I see her as a big sister," he told Evan. "And it is going to be so empty without her and Becca. At least, I will see her during summer," he added, murmuring. Before Evan could add more, he released a breath and kissed his forehead. "We should sleep. It is getting late."

"Right."

Wordlessly, Barty's arms snuck around his body bringing him closer to him. Evan was so close that he could hear Barty's heartbeat slowing down, as well as his breath. Evan ended up closing his eyes as he savoured the moment. It was the first time since they started seeing each other that Barty asked Evan to sleep with him.

Evan would be lying if he said this was the worst night of his life. Honestly, it had been the greatest one so far. No nightmares, no dreams, just peace. A calm that he had not discovered yet. A pair of comforting arms around his frame that he did not know he needed until last night. There was nothing more peaceful than waking up to Barty's breath hitting his neck and sending shivers through his body.

He didn't dare to move, afraid that he would wake him up and that would ruin all of it. So, he sunk in the moment, closing his eyes from time to time to enjoy it. By eight in the morning, Evan turned to face him and one sure thing was that Barty Crouch Jr was a heavy sleeper.

"Bart," Evan whispered softly, shaking him so lightly. After a few failed attempts, Barty's eyes fluttered and his face was graced with a smile. "Morning."

"Morning, tosser," Barty mumbled.

Evan smiled, "We have to be ready in an hour," he said as Barty's eyes widened and he jumped out of the bed. "Oi!"

"Bloody hell, Ev! An hour?" He exclaimed, scanning the room frantically. "I have to shower and–and," he breathed out, grabbing clean clothes and ran to the other side of the bed where Evan was. "Are you not stressed?"

"Take a piss!" Evan chuckled. "You'll be ready in time, Bart."

"Says you! I take ages to get ready," he whined, turning on his heels and heading to the shower. Before he could go, Evan grabbed his wrist and brought him back closer. "Ev, please," he pleaded.

Evan rolled his eyes, cupping his face to kiss him. Barty melted into the kiss and Evan felt his shoulders slump back a bit, "Relax, yeah?"

"Right."

As expected, Barty and Evan were ready on time. Before walking out of their shared dorm, Barty kissed Evan and promised him that he would do his best to be more loving towards him. Evan tried his best not to crumble down from the sweet words and nodded, thanking him quietly. Evan knew his parents were around because he had received a letter telling him they would be here at nine o'clock.

Evan went to his older sister who looked in much better shape than the past few months. "Daph!" He called for her as she turned on her heels and waited for him to arrive. He gave her a hug and pulled back. "Mum and dad are here, they want to see you. Are you ready?" He questioned.

Daphne looked up and down and shrugged, "Do I look ready?"

He smiled at the sight of his older sister, "You look perfect, I'll tell you that!"

Barty wrapped his arms around Daphne, "Alright, it's time!" He shouted, kissing her cheek tenderly. "I'm quite sad, I'll tell you that."

Daphne laughed sadly, "I'm quite sad too," she confessed as they started walking towards the Great Hall. "Can you believe it? I'm graduating..."

"I honestly can't believe it," he teased as she gasped and nudged him. Barty noticed the two that he was going to see Becca and left. ""I think Bart will be sad to have you and Becca gone. He sees you like his own sister, you know."

"I know," Daphne replied. "I like him. He's funny and stupid sometimes."

"Yeah," Evan answered, chuckling.

Perhaps Evan was quite (very) fond of Barty. Sure, he was stupid sometimes but he was funny and caring. Reaching the Great Hall where all the seventh year and their families were gathered, Evan and Daphne sat down next to their parents.

"Oh there you are," their mum exclaimed, giving them a kiss on the cheek. "You look grand, Evan."

"Thanks, Mum."

She then looked at Daphne, smiling, "And you, oh my sweet child," she cooed. "You look magnificent. Doesn't she, love?" She said, nudging their father.

"Fabulous, love," he agreed with a smile.

Soon enough, Barty joined them, "Hello everyone," he said with a smile.

"Barty! Come," Amalthea said, motioning for him to sit down next to Evan. "Are you excited for summer?"

Barty glanced at Evan then back at Amalthea, "I'm really excited. Thank you for letting me stay with you."

"No worries, love."

Barty sat down next to Evan, their shoulders slightly touching and Evan smiled to himself. He knew that he shouldn't have lowered himself to that sort of veiled affair but he needed it. He needed Barty. Perhaps that was scary.

As he watched everyone graduate, he tried to remember when he realised that he wanted Barty as more than a friend. When did it click in his mind that he wanted Barty that way? He could not remember but all he recalled was that warmth he felt whenever he looked at him, or heard him laugh.

"Ev, clap your hands," Barty whispered in his ear as Evan snapped out of his thoughts, looking up at the stage and seeing Daphne.

He hurried himself to clap his hands and cheer for his sister. Evan realised that he had never felt so proud in his life than right now. His older sister was graduating from Hogwarts with outstanding scores. She had managed to do everything right, despite the mark and the unwanted meetings.

"She looks bloody amazing," Barty murmured.

"Right that."

He then leaned closer, "You do too."

Evan blushed, clearing his throat, "Thank you, Bart."

"Aren't you adorable when you blush?" He told him softly and Evan fought the need to pinch him, so they wouldn't disturb the ceremony. "Alright, I'll stop."

"Thank you," Evan mumbled thankfully.

As the ceremony reached its end, Evan escaped the room and waited there. The air was fresher and nicer. He reached for the almost empty pack of cigarettes in his pocket and lit it. The first drag burnt his lungs and he repressed a cough, the second one felt like heaven and he closed his eyes at the feeling. He prayed for his mum to stay in the Great Hall a bit more so he could finish his vile stick like she loved to call them, but as far as he was concerned she was talking with old schoolmates.

"Your dad is a bit weird," Barty said, sitting next to him. He spotted the cigarette and arched an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't smoke anymore."

Evan shrugged, "I tried to. Too hard," he replied. "And I know, I reckon mum drugged him," he joked, making Barty laugh.

"Sweet, sweet Evan," he breathed out after a moment, lighting a cigarette as well.

"Are you ready to come home with us?" Evan questioned after a while. Both of them had finished smoking and were simply enjoying each other's company.

Barty glanced at Evan, a smile creeping on his face, "If it means I am going to be with you then yes," he replied.

Before Evan could answer, Amalthea's hands touched their shoulders as she pulled them back with her, "Ready to go home, boys?" She asked as Daphne seemed to share a conversation with their father. "Barty, love, were you smoking again?"

"Sorry, Mrs.Rosier," Barty said with a blush on his cheeks. "It's a bad habit, I know."

"It's fine," she reassured as they walked down the path to Hogsmeade. "We have all summer to get rid of this awful habit, don't we, Ev?"

"Yeah, we do," he snorted softly.

—————
authors note, this book is for the gays and the gays only! anyways, they have my heart!