I was craving blood from the source. Rather than sending my guards to find me whoever was next in line, I decided to wander down and find one of my favourites.

The scent of cooked food hung heavy in the air, so it was clearly meal time for the humans. I would probably find the bulk of them in the dining areas. There were three, one for the female humans, another for the male humans, and then one small one for my guards, which was also where Jamie would be eating if he was not finished already.

I could pretend that I did not have him in mind as I walked there, but it would not be true. An awareness of him seemed to be ever mixed into my thoughts. I tried to remember if there had ever been a human who so intrigued me. I had seen so many, good, bad, likeable and unlikeable, humans who screamed in terror, and humans who had pleaded to be turned into a creature like me.

Maybe there was nothing special about Jamie. Perhaps I had been particularly bored and had simply built him up in my mind to be so very entertaining.

As soon as I entered the dining hall, my eyes instantly found him as if I had no control over their direction. The moment he realized I was there was obvious from the stiffening of his muscles and the clenching of his jaw.

No, it was not in my head, or maybe it was, but I rather thought I had little control over my obsession. It disturbed me. I had been in control of myself for a long time, but now my self-control seemed to have crumbled.

I should have left him where I had found him, chained to the wall beneath the council building, but it was far too late for that now.

There was a chorus of greetings as I entered and I smiled at the group surrounding me. There was an empty seat across from Marcel, so I sat down in it, next to Ian.

"Mistress," Ian said, his voice as respectful as ever. "Can we help you with something?"

"I am actually a bit hungry." I raised my voice and asked, "Any volunteers?"

Several of them spoke up, but of course Jamie was not one of them.

"Who was least recent?" I asked and they began working it out amongst themselves.

My feelings around Jamie were very conflicted. I wanted him to never give in, but at the same time I wanted him to.

Perhaps Leif was right and I should just stop the games and be plain about everything.

But I did not want to. I adored the heat of his hatred and I needed it just a little bit longer.

I sounded like an addict.

"Seems like it's Axel," Dean commented.

I glanced towards the lucky winner. "Finish your supper, it's no rush." I always kept myself well fed.

While I had never set out to test my resilience, once I had managed to go without blood for over three weeks during the human suppression wars. It had been like I had gone mad, with nothing but the red fluid of life consuming my mind until I had finally had the opportunity to sink my fangs into some poor human, then another, and then another until finally that hollow craving inside me was sated enough that my mind returned to me.

While my near starvation had been a result of the lack of availability of humans in the midst of the conflict, later starvation had become a strategy that had ultimately turned a losing war in our favour. If I allowed myself, I could still see the battlefields as if a film ran in my mind. The humans with their weapons, holding us back, rendering the vampire forces to immobility or ash, until we released our new weapons: the new starved fledglings that had been turned from the wounded and dying casualties of previous battles.

Former human warriors, starved into madness and let loose against their former allies. Limbs torn, throats ripped, human and occasionally vampire bodies devastated. Once my cohorts had settled on the horrifying strategy, every human stronghold fell until all that was left of the former human world was scattered bands of survivors and feeder slaves.

The glory of the human world was no more.

All hail the new vampire order.

I did not like to think of those times. Ever since, I always ensured that I would never be hungry enough to come so close to losing myself again.

* * * * *

Once Axel was finished eating, he made his way over to me. He was the oldest of my current guards at nearly fifty and it was getting close to the time for his retirement from the position. It was a shame because I was rather attached to him.

Unfortunately all humans had their best before dates, so I would have to find a suitable use for him afterwards. He would not like that, but ultimately he would have to live with my decision.

I stood up and followed him out of the room. Without the need for words to pass between us, we headed off to the nearest feeding room, one of many that were situated throughout my home for my convenience.

He had done this many times before, so he sat down without saying anything. I could feel the bloodlust in my eyes and the way the muscles and veins surrounding focused my eyes on my goal, that pulsing blood under his skin.

I really needed to talk to him about his future, but now was hardly the time. I knelt next to him and he exposed his neck.

I bit down, fast, and his blood spurted out into my mouth. He made a little sound, but did not complain. It tasted so good, better than any food I had ever tasted in my former life. It was hard to regret that I was a monster while the feeling of life rushed from his body into my mouth, granting me more time in this ever-changing world.

Once I drank enough, I moved away from him. "You okay?" The signs of age were in the lines around his eyes, the slight sprinkling of grey in his formerly brown hair. Although he was still fit for his age, he had not entirely been able to counteract the ravages of time through discipline and training.

"Of course."

Affection for the human before me welled up in my still heart. Instead of letting my feelings show, I handed him gauze and he put pressure down on the wound with his opposite hand.

"Well, you know the drill. Two days of recovery and you can go back to your usual activities."

"I know that, Vienne."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, I know you know, but I also know you cheat when you get tired of resting."

He grinned at me without the slightest brush of remorse.

"At least pretend to take my orders seriously."

"I take all your orders seriously, but you know, my time is limited and I've got a lot to do before the end," he said.

"Well, as admirable as your work ethic is, perhaps your time would be less limited if you took better care of yourself."

"Alright, Mistress, I'll do what you command."

"See that you do," I said with false sternness. I was certainly going to miss him when he was retired and even more when he was gone.

* * * * *

I spent the next few days reaching a conclusion about Jamie. I was no longer going to think about him. He was my kryptonite and weaknesses were the last thing I needed. It was bad enough when I lost my regular feeders like Axel, what would I do when he finally expired? As much as I adored distraction, I desperately needed focus.

It was easy to say, but difficult to do. Of course I heard about everything he did, since my humans kept reporting his actions even when my traitorous eyes were not searching him out. I knew from Theo that he had finished with the database without any luck, I knew from Leif that he had begun training, I knew from Dean that Jamie and Marcel had not been allowed to spar as yet, and I knew from Marcel that he really, really wanted to knock my newest human into the dirt because he was rebellious and dangerous.

Marcel was right about Jamie's attitude, of course, but I did not tell him that I rather thought he might not be able to win such a match, at least not without some substantial luck. Marcel was tough, but I sensed Jamie was something else entirely. Not many humans destroyed even one vampire alone without significant weaponry and lived to tell the tale about it, let alone twelve.

I did not doubt the truth of Jamie's claim. He had not been boastful, he was coldly factual. I almost shivered thinking about it.

So I forced myself to stop letting my mind wander.

At least, as much as possible.

I focused back on my own concerns, the upcoming council meeting and my bill, the hacking plot that seemed to be shaping up nicely, and all the other little details that Leif needed my attention on regarding my home and my wider future plans that had long since been put in motion. Boring matters like our successful bid on the contract to produce the branding irons for the Feral Branding Program. My focus needed to be on the future, as always, because the hour would come when Jamie would be forever gone.

The next quarterly meeting was coming swiftly forward and I avoided contact with Jamie for two weeks, although it rather forced me to skulk around my own home and hide as if I were the vulnerable prey and he the predator. It was most irritating, but at least I could pretend he was further from my mind than before.

Until the sound of footsteps came from the hall outside my chamber. I was afraid I knew precisely who it was.

"Open," I ordered and the guards hurried to do my bidding.

Jamie came into the room. Apparently my flawless avoidance had to come to an end at some point.

"Hello, Jamie, what do you need?" I asked him in the most blasé tone I could muster, as if I were not thrilled to see him standing before me.

He was so handsome, and I would have bet he had put on a solid ten pounds of muscle since I had bought him, but that was not what riveted my attention. The hostility in those dark eyes had been tamed, or perhaps, merely banked.

I had thought I would be disappointed to see its absence, but my silent heart twisted with painful longing.

It was with some horror that I realized, just maybe, it was not the fight with Jamie that I was addicted to, but to he himself.

It was the worst possible situation and the worst possible timing. I had cared for many humans, but I had always held something back for my own protection. I had needed their blood, I had needed their services, but I had survived nicely when they had left. But now this human, this man, might destroy me even before my end.

I did not close my eyes, nor let my face betray my stark realization. Light amusement was my mask as he explained why he had come.

"I want to come along to the leech's capital."

I had not expected that request, and there was no way it was a good idea. "No."

He did not look surprised with my response. "Why not?"

"You're a liability. Your rebellion would be bad for my reputation." It was a sound argument.

"I won't fight you."

"I doubt that," I lied. If he said he would not fight, I believed he would not.

"I will swear not to cause trouble, while we are there."

"Why do you even want to come?" I asked.

He paused, as if he had to figure out the reason for himself. "I want to help with breaking into the database."

I frowned. My first reaction was to give him whatever he wanted, but that was not going to happen. "Everything is already well in hand. Theo does not need more help, nor do I."

He had apparently run out of protestations, so I continued. "You're useless to me."

He stiffened, because he did not know my words were a lie. I could think of countless uses for him. I did not even need to have a use for him to want to have him by my side, but that was not according to plan.

I thought he would storm out, but instead he spoke. "You could use my blood." His face was a mask of apathy, as if the idea no longer disturbed him.

I was caught between two desires, stretched thin enough that it felt unsettlingly like I was vulnerable.

His blood sang to me, just as he did, but on the other side of the divide were my goals, and my survival, and my games. I knew which one was more important, but the other grabbed on and held me firmly making me want to abandon all that I and generations of my humans had worked for.

"I still don't need your blood, Little Human." My irrational wants did not matter in the shadow of the future.

He frowned. "I understand, Bloodsucker." I could tell he was about to leave.

I was lost. "You can come."

He stared straight at me as if trying to figure me out.

Good luck to him, I could barely figure myself out lately. I was apparently a complete imbecile, as if my tongue had taken control instead of my mind. I would not backtrack, so I plowed bravely forward.

"Listen, Jamie, if you come, you need to appear meek. You must obey my commands; you cannot question me. The walls in the capital are thin; they have eyes and ears. If you step out of line, I will punish you, and it will be a very public and painful ordeal. You won't emerge unscathed. I don't particularly care what you do while we're here, but I have a reputation to maintain amongst my colleagues and if you besmirch it you will pay the penalty. Do you understand?"

"I do." He seemed completely unconcerned.

"Then you're dismissed," I said. I needed to get him away from me before I made even more foolish decisions.

He did not argue, as if his obedience had already begun. I was left to try to figure out how I would deal with this new falsely compliant Jamie who had taken the hostile Jamie's place.