there's a bit of depressing thoughts and attitude so don't read or read with caution if you feel the need to !!

///

Imagine being afraid of being replaced and Kai comforting you when he finds out // Based on Afraid by The Neighbourhood

 "When I wake up I'm afraid,
somebody else might take my place."

 Dealing with anxiety and worrying about everything was exhausting. Spending your days by shaking, crying and being scared of being replaced by your boyfriend and friends, it terrified and tired you to the point where you just wanted to throw everything away and end the misery you were in. Starting from the moment you wake up, to the very second you fall asleep, you were afraid. Even in your dreams, you were anxious, distressed and utterly scared of life.

 You were in a lovely relationship with Kai Parker, but you feared that he'd leave you. There was no good reason why he'd leave you, but you still felt like someone would eventually replace you, like Kai would just walk out of your life and never return. Because there was someone better, there always was. It was the first thing you thought about in the morning when you woke up - "Great, maybe today, someone will take my place, replace me, love Kai more than I do, and be better for him than I am."

 It was a feeling you couldn't run from. It followed you wherever you went, whatever you did, whoever you were with. A nagging feeling in your heart, telling you that maybe right at this very moment, Kai was with someone prettier, someone greater. You hated it, but you couldn't help it. And you didn't want to tell anyone either, you were afraid of how they'd react, so you just lived in the anxiety all alone without anyone helping, without anyone reaching out for you.

 It was daily for you. When you woke up, and went in the kitchen where you found Kai making breakfast for you, you wondered if he'd ever do it for someone else. You'd kiss him, and think about all the other girls he'd show that love to. You'd hug and say your goodbyes before going your own ways for the day, and all you could contemplate was if it would a final goodbye, the last words from him to you and from you to him.

 And god, you hated it with a burning passion.

 "All my friends always lie to me
I know they're thinking
You're too mean, I don't
like you, fuck you anyway."

 Kai, as the oh so evil villain, had his own matters to attend to and you had decided to spend the day with Caroline, who you loved with all your heart, especially after she had asked you to arrange an event for Mystic Falls High and its students. You knew that to her, events and parties were a big deal and she didn't ask for just anyone to help her - now it just so happened to you which meant you were special and you loved being reminded of it. Because almost always, you felt like you weren't special at all, that you were replaceable.

 And it was like that with your friends too. Even though you loved Caroline and she loved you back, you were concerned that she really hated you and just hoped for you to stop hanging around with her. Maybe, her thoughts were poisoned with hatred towards you and maybe, each day she woke up wishing she could avoid you, not see and be with you. It scared you, but you still went to the school where you met her, both of you smiling and going for a tight hug.

 "Y/N, I'm so happy you came!", Caroline said cheerfully, and you nodded, while thinking how that must have been a lie. You tried to smile, and she was so busy with the party arrangements, she didn't even notice your fake happiness and attempts to seem cool. You were glad she was buying it, because you definitely didn't want to irritate her. Not more than you already did by even being there, anyway.

 You and Caroline started to decorate the place, and listened to some music while working on everything necessary. It was lovely, spending some with her, but inevitably your thoughts won and you felt like you weren't needed. After some hours, you got enough of it, all the voices and thoughts in your head and you had to let go and leave.

 "This was fun, Care, but I need to go. I'll talk to you later", you smiled, and gave her a quick hug before leaving the building and the girl behind. She frowned in worry, her beautiful features turning concerned but she let you walk away, which she later understood was a mistake. She always took care of her friends, and you were one of them. Even if you believed otherwise.

 "Keep on dreaming,
don't stop breathing,
fight those demons."

 On your way to home, you felt like breaking down. You did break down. Crying, you stumbled towards the house that felt so far away, while your heart slowly shattered to bits and pieces, scratching you from the inside and causing you agony with each step. You could barely see, you could barely breathe, and you were so sure that you'd come home to an empty house. You were sure that Kai wouldn't come back to you anymore, that he had found another woman to be with. You were sure that all of your friends had found a better girl to replace you in the group. You were sure that everything was crashing down on you, like walls falling on top of you and it made you struggle with breathing and staying calm.

 "Stay calm, Y/N, just breathe, in and out. Slowly, deeply. Fight it, fight them, okay, you can do this. Be strong", you tried to calm yourself, but it was impossible to relax. You finally got home though, and after opening the front door, you fell onto the floor and let out heart-breaking sobs. You clutched onto your chest, wanting to claw your heart that only caused aching, and slowly sat up, resting your shaking body against the wall after closing the door.

 "Y/N? What the fu-- Oh my god", you heard a familiar voice, so familiar it brought some kind of comfort but you were in too much of a distress to calm down. You felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you, and you breathed out your boyfriend's name in the utter relief that his presence brought you.

 "I'm here, now, take deep breaths, for me, okay? It'll be okay, I promise, it always will", he comforted, kissing the top of your head and moving your hair away from your face. He forced his gaze into your eyes, and gave you a warm, loving smile while speaking calming, comforting words. You nodded, understanding him and relaxing at his touch and voice, feeling safe and loved again.

 You couldn't speak, not yet, so you just let Kai hold you. For hours, you sat on his lap, his arms around you and his jaw on top of your head while he rocked back and forth and caressed your cheek. He hummed along a song and calmed you down as much as he only could, and you closed your eyes and nearly fell asleep. You missed this. This feeling of safety and warmth and love. You missed not being afraid and worried all the time. You missed being truly, really happy.

 "If you leave me, then
I'll be afraid of everything."

 "I've been thinking too much", you let out after a long while of silence. "I've been thinking about you leaving me. My friends turning their backs on me. I'm sure that one day, you will all replace me. That there is someone better for you. Someone prettier. Someone you will love more", you explained, not wanting to open your eyes. You just remained against Kai, speaking quietly and holding him tightly.

 Kai chuckled, and shook his head. "No, Y/N, there is no one better than you. Not for me. I love with all my heart, and I always will. More than anyone or anything", he smiled, "I think, you shouldn't be scared because I won't leave you. I'll help you through this, until you're not struggling anymore. I'll help you see how amazing you are, and I'll help you realize that you're loved and safe with me."

 You felt like melting right there and then, but instead you placed your hands on his cheeks and your lips against his own ones. It turned into a soft, loving kiss and it earned adoring sighs from the both of you. "I love you", you managed to whisper, to which he replied with exactly same words.

 He'd eventually fix things, but what scared you now was that he also had the key to breaking you apart entirely. Your heart rested on his hands, and he had the possibility to crush it any moment he wanted. You loved him deeply, but one day, maybe he wouldn't. He was the one who saved you, who kept you calm and loved, but he was also the one who could break you, ruin you and hurt you the most. And that was by far the scariest thing ever.

 But right now, you could live in peace when he knew to give it to you. Right now, he stayed with you, and you didn't have to be afraid. Until he'd leave - then you'd be afraid of everything. But not now. Now, you were happy, and your mind at peace. 

///

i actually love this song and this whole band but i still didn't like this very much because idk i guess i'm losing my grip on imagines based on songs because the imagines i'm most unhappy with are those kind of but

anyway,, i love you all, hope you're doing fine ((: