Early the next morning, wasting no time, Chasity reached out to Jade, not knowing much—only that she'd made a huge mistake and Jade was the first person to pop into her head for advice. Not just because Jade, without a doubt, had the most experience in this particular department—but because Jade was her best friend. Her ride or die.

As they pulled into the Planned Parenthood parking lot, Jade picked the closest parking spot near the door. It was ridiculously early still. The lot was a ghost town, even on a Saturday morning.

"Thank you, you're a real lifesaver! I owe you big time for this one!" Chasity told Jade as she took a sip from her water bottle.

"Trust me, I'm no lifesaver. I'm just glad you called me this morning instead of one morning a few weeks from now." She spoke with a slight pain in her voice that Chasity was too distracted to pick up on. In an effort to deflect, Jade turned the spotlight back on her friend.

"Do you want me to go in with you? If not, I can wait here. It's up to you," Jade told her with confidence and reassurance that she was making the right decision.

"No, I think I need to do this alone." Jade could hear the tremble in her voice, the realization of what could happen.

Jade took a long pause and stared aimlessly at her before she replied, "Okay. I'll be right here waiting."

"Thank you," Chasity said as she leaned in and gave her a hug.

Chasity sat in the waiting room for what felt like forever. Sitting there, she watched as the seconds struck the clock and turned into minutes. Nothing in her life had dragged out like those moments.

Between the knots in her stomach and her heart palpating, she felt as if she were going to pass out right there in the waiting room. One thought led to another then before she could stop it, those thoughts popped into her head. What if she passed out and then she called her parents? What would happen then? What would they say? How would they look at their perfect little girl?

The room started to spin. Her breathing picked up. In out. In out. In out. She began hearing her own heart pound when all of a sudden, someone called out, "Chasity. Chasity. Chasity."

Just like that, she snapped out of it, like a bad daydream.

"Here." She replied. Getting up, making her way over towards the doctor standing before at the top of the hallway, with her clipboard in her hand.

As they strolled down the hallway and into the back, the doctor began introductions. "I'm Doctor Miller, how are you doing today?"

"Not terrible, but could be better," Chasity let out, trying to be as calm as possible. How the fuck do you think I am? I'm at a Planned Parenthood at eight a.m. on a fucking Saturday morning! she thought to herself, not realizing at the time that Planned Parenthood performed a variety of positive tasks. A lot more than just help with unwanted pregnancies and morning after situations.

It didn't take long for them to reach the room; the doctor pointed her over to the bench to sit.

"So what brings you in today?" Dr. Miller asked as genuinely as possible, though Chasity couldn't help but feel as if it had been an interrogational question.

She choked, trying to get the words out, picturing them in her head. All the right words, all the right things that she knew she was supposed to say. But for reasons beyond her, they felt stuck in her throat and wouldn't come out.

Dr. Miller noticed her struggle and tried to help by changing gears, redirecting the conversation while still remaining on topic. "I know this can be overwhelming at first. I remember the first time I came to a place like this. I take it this is your first time?" she asked, her voice comforting and warm.

"Umm. Yeah," Chasity muttered, trying to think of what to say.

"When did you last get your period?" the doctor asked, looking down at her clipboard, pen in hand and ready to write down any details she thought to be important.

"Umm... two weeks ago, I think. Maybe fifteen days?" Chasity said nervously. Dr. Miller jotted that down. "I'm definitely not pregnant... not yet, anyway."

"Being proactive is always a plus. So tell me about your boyfriend." Dr. Miller went out on a limb, suggesting that a boyfriend was the reason she'd come into the clinic. As unorthodox as the question might have seemed to some, to Dr. Miller, building that rapport with a young client in this type of situation can have two tremendously different outcomes.

"I just broke up with him," she replied without a second thought.

"I can understand that, teenage boys can be real jackasses. Believe I know," she said humorously. "I must have dumped my husband at least fourteen times in the first week of senior year." Dr. Miller chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

The conversation then took a sudden and unexpected turn. "How did you know your husband was the one? I mean, did you always know, or did you date other guys in between? Like, how can you tell when you found the one?" Chasity went on to pry without meaning to. The doctor's tactics had worked a little too well.

Jaw on the floor, she became completely shell-shocked by the question, which wasn't something that happened easily or ever before for that matter while working in the field and doing so at a free clinic often visited by unsupervised teens. Personal and odd questions came with the territory, but in her fifteen years of being at the clinic, not once had someone asked her anything along that line.

The doctor paused for a moment and tried to find an answer. "Honestly... I'm not sure..."

Chasity's facial expression was priceless. Her eyes were wide and on the verge of popping out of the sockets, baffled beyond belief. How could an adult not know, a doctor at that?! A person of her prestige should have all the answers, Chasity believed, because if she couldn't help her, then who the hell could.

"It's not as simple as most young people think... not as easy as most adults think it is either," she went on to add, trying to level with her and not just avoid the question. That's when it clicked. Not the magical answer which Chasity was in search of, but the only truth Dr. Miller could tell.

"There's no magical answer. No checklist. Knowing you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is complicated to explain, a lot like love. It isn't just a feeling. It's something you do... it's a special trip to summer camp." Dr. Miller smiled, indicating a glimpse into her personal life. "Putting your partner's needs and desires before your own, and them doing the same, making sacrifices, compromises. Love's hard... love is also the little things... If nothing else, remember this. Over time the little things will mask the grand gestures; grand gestures are made usually because someone royally dropped the ball. Whereas meager efforts are usually done with pure intentions."

To some, Dr. Miller's response could be all they needed and more—life-altering. However, for Chasity, it wasn't the answer she had been hoping for. Of course, she couldn't just come out and say, "I hope your medical advice is better than your psychological advice is, because if so, I'm totally fucked." No matter how much she might have believed it.

Dr. Miller could see her disappointment, the screaming sense of despair. "I know that probably wasn't the answer you were looking for... Does it help if I say it gets better?" She grasped at straws, trying to comfort her.

"A little, yeah," Chasity replied, smiling. Not only had this been the first time all day she smiled, but the bigger her smile got, the tension in her chest slowly faded more at the thought of the light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how long, dark, and dreadful the tunnel might seem.

Walking out of the clinic, Chasity wore a smile from ear to ear, happy as could be. The thought of being a teen mom was behind her, along with the thought of any future pregnancy scares.

"Damn, you were in there for a long time. Did everything go okay?" Jade asked concerned, eyeing her up from head to toe as she made her way into the car.

"Everything's great. She gave me a morning-after pill and put me on birth control. Said I had to wait thirty-six hours to start the pill and it takes another thirty-six to take effect. Bullet officially dodged." Her tone and mannerisms were completely normal.

"So does mean you and Shawn are a thing?" Jade asked, eagerly smiling, though the question wasn't completely selfless. Chasity had no clue, of course—she didn't have a reason too.

"I don't think so... I mean last night was fun. But meaningless." She uttered out the words as if the very thought of them weighed her down and stared out the window as they drove up the street.

"What? Like you two didn't talk about it? Or?" Jade asked, confused, giving her a distant look.

"We didn't do much talking. Really, we didn't do any talking. I made him drive me back to Skateland after, but of course, I couldn't get back in."

"Wait, what? He should have known that. He just left you there?" Jade asked in outrage. Chasity giggled.

"No, he rubbed in it my face, said he told me so. Then got us an after-shag shake at McDonald's before dropping me off home," Chasity said with flair in her voice. The guy at the drive-through had practically praised him, smiling over at Chasity, making a comment about how coming through for a late-night shake is becoming quite the habit.

"Fucking dick. Are you okay?" Jade asked, worried.

"Can you drop me off at Josh's?" Chasity said without a second thought, completely ignoring the question and the emotional despair Jade thought her to be in.

Shock came over Jade, though hiding her emotions was something she'd become very good at over the past few years.

"Yeah, sure. No problem." What else could she say? No? Her thoughts haunted her the entire ride. After what happened the night before with Josh—what didn't happen with Josh. What happened with Shawn. The apparent soon-to-be cluster of an emotional tournament has made its way back into her head.

While driving over, Jade had different scenarios playing out in her head. If Josh took Chasity back, then would he tell Chasity about their moment, which would lead to the end of their friendship? Would he remain silent for fear of losing her, and in return forcing her to pretend the last twenty-four hours never happened? Double dating, prom night, senior week down the beach.

All torture from being forced to live out the last year, the best year of their glory years miserable and guilt-ridden by the constant reminder of betrayal.

When Josh heard a banging at his back door, the last person he expected to see was the very person who had been hitting the door so hard it was shocking it didn't shatter the glass. He finally opened the door, glass still intact and somehow his parents none the wiser.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Josh asked, about as baffled to see her as she was by his greeting.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about. We're done. You walked away from us, not me." Angry and hurt, he slowly backed up to shut the door in her face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." She sounded genuinely remorseful, and Josh hesitated slightly.

"Sorry for what exactly? Telling me that you've outgrown me, how you can't waste any more of your time with someone who isn't on your level? Or the fact that not even two days after we broke up, you give it up to someone else." Eyes watering, he realized that he'd assumed the worst part was watching her leave the rink with Shawn. But like a lot of things he thought he knew, he was once again wrong.

"Believe it or not, I never meant to hurt you." There was compassion in her voice, true regret and sorrow in her tone. Josh knew this, yet it didn't change anything. The fact of the matter was she'd made her choice, and now they both were tasked with dealing with the results. Regrets, heartbreak, and all.

Chasity could see the darkness in his eyes, the hatred molded from the pain. If she only knew just how badly she'd broken him. The one thing she did know, nothing would ever be the same. There was no going back, and potentially no future, just resentment and pain.

"I would say go fuck yourself, but I guess you don't need to anymore now. Have fun in the teen moms club," Josh proclaimed before slamming the door in her face. He walked back over to the couch to resume his game and forget the pain and depression he knew was lurking just below the surface.

Chasity stood there, wide-eyed and sheepish, unable to distract herself and just forget everything. Her eyes became red and puffy; tears that she'd tried to hide begin to push themselves out and escape down the side of her face.

Unsure what to do next, she just started walking with no real destination in mind. She couldn't go home because that meant being alone with her thoughts. She couldn't call Jade, for that would mean needing to talk about it, what happened, what caused it. Even if on the off-chance Jade didn't feel the need to push her into talking about it, at the very least she would know something happened. That something was wrong. There would be no hiding the truth once it became known. Once truth becomes a reality, there is no escape by ignorance.

Chasity walked on for a few miles before she even realized how far she had gone, or that she'd been heading in the complete opposite direction of her house or anyone's house she knew of. A McDonald's sat not so far from where she stood. Staring at the big yellow arches, she was reminded by a growling stomach that with all commotion she'd skipped breakfast.

Three pancakes, eggs, bacon, a hash brown, and one sweet tea later, she was walking out when she saw no one other than Shawn himself in the drive-through lane. Of course, she attempted to play it off as if she didn't see him, for she thought he would do the same.

But not only did he not pretend not to see her, he actually went through quite a bit of trouble to get her attention when she low-key ignored his waves and the calling of her name. In the end, Chasity didn't shoot him a glance until he beeped his horn a few times, which inadvertently almost caused him to get into a fight.

Beep! Beep! Shawn hit the horn again after Chasity waved and kept walking.

"What the hell is your problem, buddy?! Stop beeping your horn, pull up, get your shit, and get the hell out of the way. Some of us have things to do today!" a guy from two cars back screamed as Shawn held up the drive-through.

"Chasity!" Shawn yelled again, completely ignoring the guy in the truck two cars back. Although Chasity couldn't do the same, she got a feeling that if she didn't stop, neither would he.

So she stopped and turned, staring at him; "completely embarrassed" would be putting it lightly. As much as she adored being the center of attention, being in what most people would call a couple's debacle at the local McDonald's on a Saturday morning wasn't ideal.

Before either she or Shawn could another word in edgewise, the older male in the pick-up truck screamed out the window, "Would you please just hear him out so he'll get the hell out of the way? 'Cause if I miss the breakfast window because of this shit, he's not going to be the only one in the doghouse!"

She found his story amusing, yet it wasn't the main reason she found herself running over towards his car. A part of her felt for the men on some level. Yet the driving force had been more selfish. Chasity wanted someone, something to distract her. Opening the door and sitting in the passage seat, she could feel the weight on her chest slowly start to dissipate.

Almost instantly, before letting Shawn get a word in edgewise, she stuck her head out of the window. "Sorry to hold you up, we're going to pull out and let you go!" she yelled.

Sticking her head back into the car, she turned to Shawn, and he gave her a weary look. "We are? Did you see that line? It practically wraps around the building," he said.

"Do you want to be the reason that man gets a divorce?" Chasity replied, giving Shawn a death stare, making his stomach churn in the process.

"Honestly, if he gets divorced over missing breakfast at McDonald's, their marriage was doomed from the start," he replied, chuckling. Chasity gave him the "really, you want to do this now?" look.

"Fine, fine, I'll let him go," Shawn said before quickly pulling out of the line, allowing the other cars to pass him. "I still don't see how me getting out of line is going to help anything."

He quickly moved out of the drive-through, giving the guy a fighting chance to make the breakfast window. Pulling into the closest open spot, he parked the car, the sole purpose being to walk inside in an attempt to beat the line.

"What are you doing?" Chasity asked, giving him a strange look.

"What does it look like? I'm going inside. I came here for my morning milkshake, and I'm going to get it." Smiling, he got out of the car. "Are you coming?" he asked as he shut the door.

"I mean, I just ate, but you're not leaving me much choice. It's hot as hell out and you didn't crack a window or leave the AC running," she replied with mild sass as she got out of the car, closing the door behind her.

"You're not a child. You could have rolled down the window or just have sat in the car with the door open." His reply was both witty and impudent. Chasity said nothing, just smirking at his response. This was the first time she'd ever heard him speak with such attitude. She liked it.

As they walked in, Shawn was greeted by the people working behind the counter; he responded with a greeting and waved his hand up, making a peace gesture. She looked around only to figure out that she doesn't recognize anyone working. They couldn't have gone to school with her. She would have at least noticed someone there she knew or knew of or seen around.

"Shawn!" the person behind the counter called out a few minutes after he ordered instead of a number.

"How does everyone here know your name? And why do you have two milkshakes?" She looked at him with confusion.

"I come here all the time... I also used to work here. The manager still loves me, so they still hook me up. I got one for you too. Granted, you were leaving, not coming so if you wanted a milkshake for the road, you could have gotten yourself one. But then I thought, I can't just get one and not get you one too. That would just be petty... Not to mention you look like you just lost your best friend and could use a pick me up." What started out as babbling turned into a heartfelt comment, an attempt to build a bridge to something more. He handed her the strawberry milkshake, keeping the chocolate one for himself.

"Thank you." For a moment, she felt bliss and forgot all of her problems, a smile breaking through. "Wait, so last night when we stopped here for a milkshake before taking me home... That wasn't some lame 'after hook up' thing you do with all the girls you sleep with?"

"Some people smoke cigarettes, other weed. Milkshakes are my thing. My nicotine fix, if you will. Is that why you didn't want one? You thought getting milkshakes had something to do with a ritual I do with girls I sleep with?"

Chasity shrugged and didn't directly answer the accusation, allowing her body language to convey the message. All the while she glared down at his milkshake, then at hers. "Why did you get me a strawberry milkshake? That's kind of random. I mean usually, when guessing a flavor, it's fifty-fifty. Chocolate or vanilla." Though she wasn't turned off by the flavor, she was confused at his choice.

Shawn cracked a smile while sipping his milkshake. "English, sophomore year. You used to come in every morning with a strawberry Nesquik bottle of milk. Like clockwork, you would walk in, bottle of milk in your hand, just making the bell."

Chasity's face lit up. For a brief moment, the air pocket in the pit of her stomach felt as if it was deflating. "I thought you said you didn't recognize me. That whole 'I must be new, because you would have noticed me' thing," Chasity said, slightly mocking him and reenacting his phrase from the previous night.

"Okay, okay, I get it, you got me. I've noticed you before last night. What would you prefer me to say? 'Oh, we've never met, but we had English together last year. You probably never noticed me noticing you barely making it to class every morning probably because you stopped to get a strawberry milk from the vending machine.' " Shawn was being overly theatrical.

Chasity put her milkshake down on the table and looked across at him, pausing before speaking, just giving Shawn an odd gaze. "Yeah... that would have been kind of... really fucking creepy," she said somewhat flirtatiously. "I definitely wouldn't have slept with you had that been your opening line."

"Do you regret it?" He watched her temporarily before breaking eye contact, only to reconnect a few seconds later. "Last night, I mean."

"No. Why do you say that?" She asked, caught off guard by his inquiry.

"I don't know... Just seems like you're having a rough morning... I don't know, I thought maybe that had something to do with the events that happened last night."

"No, I'm fine. I don't know why you would think that." She was strong, stern, with good eye contact, making a valid argument that nothing had been wrong, insinuating he didn't know what he was talking about.

"I don't know. You just seem off..." He was trying to indicate that she indeed had been off all while being polite and sensitive, not pointing out the fact that her eyes were slightly red and a little puffy. Her mascara, still noticeably applied, without question wasn't the same tone from corner to corner.

"One night and you think you know me... I mean, you were kind of stalking me apparently, so I guess you might know more about me than you initially led on." Her reply was facetious, and she was showing more teeth than in a school photo. Tilting her head ever so slightly to the right, holding the milkshake with two hands, she looked as innocent as possible.

Chasity took another huge gulp of her milkshake. The last thing she wanted was to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she could see why he drank milkshakes like his fellow peers smoked cigarettes. They were oddly satisfying—not socially trademarked, but oddly satisfying.

"I think 'stalking' is an overly strong, really creepy word to describe it. In my opinion, 'perceptive' is more accurate ." He shrugged his shoulders, being amorously defensive, and Chasity giggled at his reaction to her flirtatious banner. Giggles turned into a smile.

Shawn let out a genuine chuckle, mimicking the tone that she'd set. Chasity's smile didn't fade, though her intonation did as she continued.

"You're right. I'm having a shitty morning. Well, I was. My morning took an unforeseen pivot for the better, and it's partly because of the milkshake."

"Do you want to talk about it? Whatever it is that's bothering you, that is." His voice was calm, trying to assure her he was there for her.

"No, not really."

"Good, because I was lying. I'm a terrible listener. I mean I try, but let's be honest. I'd probably only listen for the first, like, thirty seconds before I spaced out looking at your boobs. Which look spectacular in that shirt, by the way." Lighthearted, he was intentionally being overly sexual. It was his way of trying to break the emotional tension building up between them.

Chasity burst out in laughter; she couldn't help herself, even if she wanted to. His charms were really starting to put in work she thought, almost as if he was a completely different person today than he had been the night before.

"Come on, let's get out of here," she told him as she stood up and began to walk away, only stopping to make sure he followed. "Come on, what are you waiting for, a private invitation?"

He jumped out of his chair in mockery. "No, ma'am. May I ask where we're headed, or is that only on a need-to-know basis?"

"Well, since you're going to be driving us, I suppose you need to know... Unless you're willing to hand over your keys?" she said with a smile, biting her lower lip, pushing it in towards her gum.

"That's a negative, no one drives Elenor but me. However, I will be more than willing to act as your personal escort and take you to wherever it is you need to go."

"You're in luck, because I don't have a destination. Honestly, I'm down to go anywhere but home."

Of course, there aren't many places for teenagers to go on a Saturday morning, especially since it had been before ten and the mall hadn't opened yet. Not completely due to lack of options, but being a considering factor, Shawn took her to the local indoor flea market.

As they pulled up, Chasity stares at the huge, oval building, that made even the biggest of Walmarts look small in comparison. In big, bold red letters the words "Flea Market" were painted across the side of the building. Shawn parked rather far from the entrance.

"I don't know if I should be honored or hurt," Chasity said, using her hand to block out the sun as she glimpsed around the parking lot in search of outside vendors or people with old run-down wooden tables trying to sell the used commodes they no longer desire. Shawn shot her a puzzled look as he took a drink from his milkshake.

"When I said that I was down to go wherever, this isn't where I thought we would end up." Although on the plus side, no matter what he says, I know for certain he would never take a girl here. Post- hook up or not, she thought to herself.

"So what does that mean exactly?" he asked, smirking.

"That of all the places we could go, not including my house. You decided to take me to a flea market."

"What? This is where I was headed before I ran into you. Some people." Shawn looked over at Chasity while using his hand to visually demonstrate he was checking her out from head to toe. "Like to drink smoothies and walk around the local mega-mall on Saturday afternoons. Others." He pointed to himself. "Prefer morning milkshakes and local dirt malls."

"I found it slightly odd you order another milkshake as we were about to leave, even for someone who has a weird obsession with them."

Shawn gazed at her, grinning. "I bet now you wished you got another one too, don't you?"

Letting out a light chuckle, tucking her hair behind her ear on the left side, she slowly looked up at him. "Maybe... although I don't know how you keep putting them away. I mean, they're delicious but damn."

"You say that now, but I bet in no time you'll be putting them down quicker than me."

While Chasity and Shawn were having their unofficial first date, Jade had just arrived at Josh's house. Well, technically her destination was three houses up, to park in the neighbors' back lot. The neighbors were a younger couple, early twenties. They were cool in the sense that they knew how it was to be his age.

He had her park there for a few reasons, and all of them were because of his parents. Avoiding questioning and any conversation that included introductions was the goal. Not that his parents were completely berserk, but Josh would say they were very orthodox, and believed in tradition, living life by a certain code.

Josh avoided confrontation with his parents, because unlike most of his peers, he knew the key wasn't to try and push them to let him do things, or to be rebellious or spiteful when they said no. Getting the last word isn't as important as getting what it is you desire.

As she walked up to the lower-level door that led into his room, Jade texted him. "Hey, what's up?" Code for "I'm at the door."

Before she could even close her phone, he popped open the door and motioned for her to come in quickly, shutting it behind her. Of course, no one could see her because the door sat at the bottom of a stairwell, invisible from anywhere except the top of the stairwell.

"Can your parents hear us?" Jade whispered, talking as low as she possibly could, though she was almost certain they couldn't.

"No, you don't have to whisper. They can't hear you. The door is shut, and I keep the light off by the stairway. So in order to see to come down the stairs, they have to turn the light on. We could see them before they even took the first step."

Though of course, his parents weren't as naïve as he thought they were, and they didn't think he was innocent as he acted. They knew the kind of kid they'd raised and how he wasn't a bad one; giving their teenage son some personal space wouldn't be the worst thing. Yet allowing him to believe they were watching him gave them a sense of a security blanket they'd never really had, nor needed.

"Looks like you have the whole thing planned out. So why so much secrecy then? You have the freedom to sneak out and sneak people in." She smiled. "I bet that comes in handy for after-hour conjugal visits." She raised her eyebrows in a philandering manner. One that sent a tingling sensation down to the pit of Josh's stomach.

Josh blushed ever so slightly, his cheeks began to turn red. "I've actually never done anything like that, Chasity." He said that name before he realized it. Both of them glared at each other in silence, dreading the very moment they'd managed to avoid up until now.

Jade's eyes shot quickly away, towards anything that wasn't in Josh's direction.

"Sorry. I..." Josh fumbled with the words, drawing a blank on what to say. Processing, his head went into overdrive attempting, crushing words together in an effort for him to possibly form a sentence.

"I ... I think maybe I should leave." Struggling to speak, but not in the same way as Josh, she didn't have a problem contemplating her thoughts, only the internal struggle of whether or not to listen to them.

Fuck! Why is it that my conscience has to find me right as I'm about to recover my bliss? They're not even together! I had no shame in showing Robbie Ross a good time on the day of his girlfriend's birthday, of all times. Emotionless. Nothing. Didn't bother me one bite, not counting the rug burn. Karma really unleashed her bitchy-ness that night. The high ground is bullshit. The first time I feel something and it's remorse. Not only is the forever void taunting my every step but to top it all, I feel like complete shit.

Jade made it to the door after what felt like a walk through an inferno abyss, hand hovering over the doorknob briefly before clenching it for dear life. Fingers trembling, hand shaking, knees clenching, she released her clasp on the handle, along with it everything else. All the worries and emotional baggage that awaited on the other side.

Feeling free, as if a weight has been lifted off her chest, she darted around, heading towards Josh. Power walking at full speed, fierce and confident, envisioning a grand moment. One with flair, passion, and excitement. Bold.

But, like most of her life, her vision of how this moment would play out went completely differently. To say it didn't go as planned would be an understatement.

Jade envisioned her walking up, kissing him, and for a brief moment—perfection. Music cue. "This Year's Love." He'd drop the remote and kiss her back. Nothing else would matter. Not the past. The future. Current problems. Just the moment. In that moment, for the first time, in a long time, she would feel more than just emptiness or solace. A glimpse at happiness.

Somehow in the process of attempting the perfect moment, the two of them ended up both busting their asses. Distorted from all the angst building up as she walked across the room, Jade had no idea what happened and how she was now lying on top of Josh, who had broken her fall which made a rather loud bang.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't, I shouldn't—" Never since Cody had a boy made her act that way, making her so dazzled, so tongue-tied. Jade blinked for a second, trying to regain her thoughts. Taking a deep breath then exhaling, she said, "I'm sorry, I..."

Before being able to finish the sentence, Josh kissed her unexpectedly. Then out of nowhere like a shockwave, a burst of electric sensation flowed through Jade. What started out as a slight spark in the center of her chest cavity, to the left of where the heart sits, quickly spread along the central nervous system, igniting every sensation from head to toe. Jade felt something. For the first time since Cody, Jade felt something more, as if the spark flipped a switch.

As life happens, within seconds the light turned on, and although they couldn't see it. Josh's dad was standing at the top of the stairwell. Not walking, he just stood there for a minute or so, giving Josh an extra minute before he began to come down.

"Should I hurry out the back?" Jade tried her best to whisper. Although in the dead of silence, without any music playing in the background to drown out their voices Josh's dad overheard them talking.

"Hey, Champ, you down here?" his dad called, proceeding down the stairs. Down two, back up one. Giving them extra time.

Josh began to panic. "Fuck," he whispered.

"Son, the whole girl in the basement, that stays between us. However, dropping an F-bomb, your mother's going to hear about that." He said jokingly. Not that his dad cared about either, but he thought it would just be a funny thing to say. A real Mr. Levenstein moment.

"You have to hide, there's no time to sneak out." Josh took Jade's hand and guided her to the bathroom.

"The back door is right over there!" she proclaimed, pointing to the door across the room.

"Trust me," he said, pushing her into the bathroom and gazing into her eyes before he shut the door overly hard, making a louder than usual noise. Of course, he didn't slam it, because let's be real, every dad knows when a door is slammed in the house, game over.

"Hey, Dad, were you calling me? I was in the bathroom," he said.

"Yeah. I heard a thump, I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I can now conclude it was nothing more than an intense bowel movement and not a ruckus made from an intruder."

"An intruder..." Josh gave his dad a long stare, letting him know damn well he didn't believe that for a second.

"Or maybe a young girl. One who goes by the name Chasity." His father smirked as the words came out, not knowing what had happened or what was going on. Which wasn't his fault; rarely do teenagers let their parents into their worlds, let alone their love lives.

Without saying anything, Josh's father knew that something was off. The mention of Chasity's name threw off Josh's entire demeanor and not in a good way. No matter how little Mr. Ray might have or haven't known, he knew his son.

"You know you don't have to sneak your lady friends in and out of the basement or hide 'em in the bathroom when we come downstairs? We suggested that you move your room down here for a reason."

"What are you talking about? I'm not hiding anyone in the bathroom." Playing it off incredibly more zen than Mr. Ray ever imagined, Josh's underlying nervousness still showed.

"I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying, you don't have to. You're going away to college next year. Whether me and your mom like it or not, you're going to have complete freedom. Maybe too much freedom. Honestly..." Mr. Ray paused for a moment. He stared at Josh, watching as his forehead began to sweat. Standing, waiting for his response.

"Honestly what?" Josh said with a sense of unease.

"I failed out of two colleges before finally getting my shit together." His dad said with pride, grinning ear to ear. A smile so big, one would think he just won the lottery.

"What? You did?" Josh said in awe, completely unaware of such a crucial fact about his own father, the person who only ever preached how important school is. The climacteric of higher education.

"Yeah. My parents were real sticklers, though you probably never fathomed it. They weren't always the cool, fun-loving, easy-going people you grew up spending the weekends with."

"Wait, go back," Josh said interrupting him. "How did you get kicked out of two different colleges?"

"The simple version—I had just been given the ultimate freedom and couldn't handle it. My parents kept me under lock and key until the day I moved into the dooms. I went to my first party that weekend. Then I literally missed every class for the first semester of school because I made the rookie mistake of taking all morning classes. Not realizing at registration, I would be staying out all night partying."

Josh stared at him, flabbergasted. "So the moral of the story is, don't sign up for morning classes?"

Mr. Ray chuckled. "No, the moral of the story is, we're giving you a taste of freedom, so you can learn self-control while we can still keep an eye on you to make sure you're learning your limits and don't flunk out of college your first semester."

"But you flunked out of college twice and you turned out okay," Josh said smirking.

"I want you to do better than me. I want you to be better than me... I know you might not get it now. But you will one day, when you have a kid of your own." Mr. Ray turned, about to make his way up the stairs. "Which shouldn't happen until you're at least twenty-three. At least... Once the air clears and safe to go back in there." He pointed towards the bathroom. "Take a look inside the brown paper bag in the closet on the bottom shelf if you haven't already."

"Okay... I haven't, but I will," Josh said, puzzled.

"I'm serious, do it the next time you go in there... I know how absent-minded you can be."

"Okay, okay," Josh said, trying to keep a straight face. Mr. Ray nodded, heading back upstairs, exiting as quickly as possible without making it obvious.

Before she even heard the upstairs door shut, which Mr. Ray made sure to close extremely loudly, Jade rushed out of the bathroom. "I think I better go." The words came out almost as fast as her walk.

Josh is still in shock from the conversation with his dad, took a moment to process her words. "Go?" he asked, confused.

"You're Chasity's ex-boyfriend, whom she's still in love with. Regardless of what happened last night."

Jade's words were nothing more than that. Just words. Although the words she chose to say, in the manner in which she did, cut sharper than fresh razor blades, slicing Josh deep. To the point where her venomous utterance caused him to snap out of whatever daydream he'd been in.

"Love doesn't grant pardons. Magically erase the fucked-up things people do to each other. This is real life, not Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. You can't just erase painful memories from existence. No amount of 'I love you,' 'I'm sorry,' 'I still love you,' changes anything. They're just words, not a mixture of remedies that heal our emotional wounds like antibiotics." Josh proclaimed.

"Love sucks. No matter what happens. In the end, you're fucked." Heartless, yet heartfelt. Her voice was steady. Eyes weak, knees are heavy. Breaths shallow, yet steady.

Josh stared endlessly into her eyes, then into the open space where she'd stood after she left. Puzzled. Intrigued. Somewhat hopeful. Yet sorrowful with unease feelings of angst lingering just below the surface.

He was unable to bring himself to move. Not because of Jade, but because of the words she spoke. "No matter what happens, you're fucked." He repeated them in his head over and over. He couldn't help himself, couldn't shake that gnawing feeling.