October 23rd, 2004—the night of homecoming. After the dance, as most people do, Jade and Cody went to an after-party at one of their classmates' houses. At the end of the night, Cody drove Jade home like he always did after they went out. Never missing curfew and always knocking on the door and greeting her parents upon arrival. That night like clockwork, he did all these things. Yet this night had been different.

"Should I park around the block?" he asked, something he did often. He would spend the night almost every weekend and sneak out before her parents were any the wiser, though they never did anything sexual. A lot like Dawson and Joey having their own sides of the bed, though they were platonic.

But tonight had been different; Jade and Cody crossed that barrier. Not only had it been their first time together, but their mutual defiling, which changed everything. He not only saw her in the nude but truly exposed, and her, him. Despite the fact Jade didn't want anything to change between them, something had. The air around them felt thicker, heavier. Full breaths were harder to take, shallow breaths less fulfilling. Every touch heightened.

"Not tonight. My parents are already asleep, which means they'll come check on me at some point in the morning. Or if they get up in the middle of the night, they'll peek in. Halloween was a Hail Mary, I'm still shocked we pulled it off," she said, smiling. But her parents weren't the reason she didn't want him to spend the night; her reasons were more selfish. She felt sanguine, transfixed by this surreal surge of dopamine. She wanted that feeling to last, and she didn't want him to come in. To dilute the adulation by riding out the night until its bitter end. If he spent the night, it would make everything feel... real. She wanted this. Just not tonight.

"Yeah, that's true, I didn't think of that," Cody said in a monotone. This was new for him too, feeling angst, unsure what to say or do. He knew that everything changed, although wasn't exactly sure what to do or how to act. Completely overthinking every word and exchange. Every body motion.

"Do you want to get breakfast in the morning?" he asked with a smile, all while panicking on the inside. Thinking to himself, Am I being too clingy? Should I walk her to the door at least? Is that going to make it weird? Would be weird if I didn't. Fuck, I shouldn't have asked her to breakfast. Jade's reply, as quickly as it might have been, felt like forever to Cody.

"Definitely. I mean, only if we can go to IHOP."

Cody smiled, and in that blissful moment, everything felt as if it were going back to normal between them. "Of course, I mean we can't go to Tom's Diner, that would just be ludicrous."

Jade leaned in and gave him a hug, holding him tight. Breaking away from the overly prolonged embrace, before turning to get out of the car, she said, "I had a really great time with you tonight, thank you for taking me."

"Thank you for coming with me, I couldn't imagine going with anyone else." He smiled, and she moved in, giving him a kiss. After a rather intense end of the night kiss, she followed it up with the traditional, "Good night."

"Good night, I love you," Cody said, the words flowing out as naturally as a breath.

Of course, this took Jade by complete surprise; stunned, she said nothing in return. She froze there in awe, eyes wide, jaw dropped.

Cody reacted as anyone in his situation would—complete panic. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dropped that you on like that. Just forget I ever said it," he muttered nervously.

Jade could tell she had freaked him out and tried her best to comfort him. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry, you just took me off guard." She began stumbling over her own words, only making the situation worse.

"Don't be sorry, it's okay," Cody said, taking a deep breath, preparing himself for what he longed to say. "I know we've only been dating a few months... I'd been debating on whether or not to say it..." He started to ramble on a little too much, although Jade thought it was sweet, and kind of cute even. Cody couldn't tell; her facial expression remained blank for the remainder of the conversation. Jade had been so caught up in the moment, in the feeling she cherished so much and didn't want to lose it. That proliferated feeling.

"I'm just going to... I just have to say one last thing. Please, don't say anything in return. I just need for you to hear me. Then allow me the pleasure to watch you walk up those stairs and through the front door. Giving me hope that I didn't blow it with one of the most amazing girls I'll ever meet," he said.

Jade's smile tried to fight through her initial shock. Cody closed his eyes longer than a blink, yet just briefly enough to clear his thoughts and gather his courage. "I love you, Jade. Honestly, and I'm not sorry that I said it, though I am sorry if in return I ruined your night."

Jade tried to interrupt him, but he continued. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you for days. Tuesday at lunch. You just took an enormous bite of your chicken patty. Mouth bursting at the seams, cheeks completely full. You caught me gawking. Admiring your truest self, a moment when you thought no one had been watching. Once aware. Almost instantly the walls went back up. Up shot your hand, covering your mouth along with half your face. 'What? Do I have something on my face...? Fuck, did I spill someone down the front of me?' " Cody couldn't help but smile at her reaction, he was so thrilled to finally be able to express his truth.

"Wednesday before school. We were sitting in my car. You had been wearing that pink sweater. The one I love so much."Every muscle in Jade's mouth completely relaxed, expanding inward and bringing out the biggest smile. Serotonin burst through her veins like an adrenaline surge. Picturing that morning, remembering, reliving that moment with a new perspective.

Windows down. Hanging in the jock lot. Chit-chatting. Talking about nothing important. Out of the blue, Cody muttered the words. "I love yo—" only to be interrupted by his best friend Joey, who had run up to the car ecstatically, practically jumping in through the window. Going on about Mr. Maiter being arrested. Apparently because he was sleeping with a student, a freshman girl from his fifth-period Biology class. School had been canceled for the day.

Cody's response to the matter was that they must go out. Do something other than simply go home, because Jade looked stunning. Went on to say something about, how much he loved her shirt. Since it was a school day, most of the pumpkin patches and other fall activities weren't open, so he'd decided the next best place would be none other than the aquarium. He even went as far as to get Adorama photo keychains from the gift shop using a picture they took in front of the koi fish tank.

"Thursday night when I dropped you off. I thought to myself, Now would be the perfect time. Then right as I was about to say it, you asked me if I would be mad if you weren't ready... It didn't feel appropriate. To tell you that I loved you for the first time. Thought all things considered. Saying those words then... I didn't want you to feel like I was trying to woo you." Cody's eyes broke away for a nanosecond as he regathered his muster to finish what he started.

"I've been waiting all night, trying, waiting for the perfect moment, but then I realized there is no perfect moment. I love you, Jade Johnson." He stared into her eyes. "Until my last breath."

Jade smiled genuinely, eyes glazed over with complete awe. To her, his speech had not only been perfect, but unimaginable. Not even in her wildest dreams would she had ever thought she would feel this way about someone. That someone could make her feel this way. Although, to his wishes, she said nothing.

Fighting every urge in her body to kiss him, she didn't. She simply basked in the moment, soaking it all in, allowing herself to feel and cherish it all. The gaze in his eyes as he gaped at her endlessly. His left leg nervously shaking, pattering a mile a minute.

The tactile feeling of her heart pounding in her chest. The moments leading up to it. Sense of phantasmagorical. A picture-perfect moment. However, every good thing must come to an end. Only a few seconds passed, although to her felt like minutes. Opening the door slowly, she prolonged her departure.

Sauntering up the stairs, towards the front door, she looked back only once reaching the top of the stairwell. Cody's gaze met hers with grace, awaiting the turnaround. Perpetuating, he held out longer than anticipated, then he blinked first. Jade used the fraction of a second to rush into the house. Closing the door almost immediately before leaning up against it, she looked through the peephole, watching as he drove off.

Once Cody's car was no longer in sight, Jade slowly turned and placed her back up against the door. Hands slowly made their way up to her face as her body drooped down against the door until she was flush along the floor. Covering her mouth, her eyes were wide with excitement.

She replayed the words in her head. "Jade, I love you." "I love you." " Until my last breath." She wished so much that she had said something back. Until my last  breath, she thought. Next time he says, "I love you," I'm going to tell him, until my last breath, because you're my fucking soul mate... well, maybe I should leave the word "fucking" out.

She smiled as she thought of responses, happy tears starting to come down her face.