Background: This one is a really down point. I wrote it in bed for reasons that will become evident very early on in the poem. Really bad point but just so everyone knows someone came less than an hour later and helped me through.

WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, mentions of suicide/passive suicidal thoughts, medications/medical, also I drop the f-bomb at the end out of frustration and I don't really want to change it because I want it to stay how I was feeling in the moment. 

I feel heavy

Sort of useless 

I'm just laying 

Unmotivated 

I can't get out of bed 

My body is restless

Its wants to move 

But my mind can't 

Summon the courage 

So I just lay here

Because I can't get out of bed 

I can't stop crying 

Even though I don't feel sad 

Right now 

I don't really feel anything 

But exhaustion 

It's all because 

I can't get out of bed 

I know it's getting bad again 

The pills aren't helping 

My parents aren't home 

My sisters don't understand

Why I can't get out of bed 

I need help

Right now 

A push

Or I fear 

I might just lay here forever 

Unable to get out of bed 

I'm tired 

Tired of this feeling 

This numbness 

Uselessness 

The crushing anxiety 

Will it ever get better? 

Not if I don't get out of bed 

I wish sometimes 

That I would just

Die 

In my sleep 

Stop existing 

So I wouldn't have to face 

This everyday challenge 

I need someone to help me 

I can't get out of bed 

I'm slowly losing my mind

But everyone is gone 

Or doesn't care 

Someone help me 

Anyone, please 

I'm scared 

I can't get out of fucking bed