The Unwanted Rose|12
I aborted my child because I knew won't be able to give him or her the perfect life. I don't want my child growing in such an environment. Where the two parents are breaking apart. Where one of them is happily building a life with some other woman and the other is going crazy. I have gone crazy. I can't do anything. My life has fallen apart in front of my own eyes. And I can't do anything to fix it.
I don't want my child to come to a world where their parents will be fighting for custody. Worst of all, I don't want my child to grow up feeling Unwanted.
I sat in the hospital bed as the doctor talked to me about the multivitamins I tuned her out. I sat there wondering how alone I was. I had nobody to rely on. I was completely alone.
"Miss you are discharged. If you face any problems in the future please call me on this number" The doctor said to me. I nodded and helped my body down from the bed. Walking in the adjacent bathroom, I saw my reflection. My cheeks hollow, my skin a little purplish. My perfect jet hair was rough. And the baby hairs on my forehead gone.
There were small pimples on my forehead. The side effect of pregnancy. I looked at the woman in the mirror whom. I barely recognised now. She wasn't me. She was just a statue of weak me. The broken me. I touched my stomach and realised the difference. I couldn't feel it anymore. The baby was gone. I killed it. I was the murderer of my baby. Tears fell one after the other as regret started building inside me.
I killed my baby...
I was a disgraceful woman.
"I... made a huge mistake," I said aloud.
"It was a mistake" I repeated trying to convince myself.
"It wasn't me who killed you, baby," I said looking at my stomach.
"Please believe I never intended to it..." I stuttered "was a mistake"
"Forgive mommy," I said to the baby. "I did it for you" I chanted
"Yes, I did it for you. I didn't want you to be an orphan like me" I shouted.
"Please baby believe me. Mommy loves you" I shouted trying to catch my child who was going far away from me.
"Please don't leave mommy. I am sorry" I said to my child but it started disappearing.
"I am sorry" I shouted once again. Banging my head against the wall I apologised.
"I am sorry, please-" My eyes drifted close as I fell in the bathroom.
***
"Miss are you awake?" An unknown voice asked me.
"I am sorry" The words left my mouth as soon as I opened my eyes.
"Ma'am, are you okay?" She asked me. I nodded and pointed towards the jug of water. She helped me drink the water slowly.
"I called in your house twice. A lady picked it up. She said she knows you and she is coming here" She said to me. I nodded my head.
I closed my eyes as I saw a white figure coming towards me. It was blinding me completely. I blinked my eyes and smiled when I recognised her face.
"You are truly a fairy, Pari. Now I realise why Sid fell for you. Why Karthik tells me that I don't deserve Sid. Because you are his love. The person he left his wife for. The person he neglected his baby for. You are perfect. I am not even a shadow in your light. Your light is blinding, it blinds me. Are you a fairy?" I asked her. She walked elegantly towards me. Her eyes filled with sorrow as she touched my head. Caressing it she shook her head.
"No, I am not. I am just a selfish human" She said to me. "I love him a lot. And he has fallen for me too. Please forgive me I destroyed you"
"You did. You destroyed me" I agreed with her smiling like a lunatic.
***
She dropped me home. The whole ride was silent I was observing her beauty, her grace and the aura she carried around her. It kinda made sense why Sid fell for her. She was beautiful in every sense. I didn't carry hate for anymore. As it was our lack of love, the space that we had between us made her enter into our life.
I started making a light breakfast after I changed. I woke him up and we sat down to have dinner. It was silent. No small talks. I didn't make an effort and Sid always loved the silence.
"I want to tell you something, Rosie," He said to me looking at me with a serious expression.
"Say," I said putting my fork down my hands shook as I thought about what he wanted to talk about. I joined my hands to stop them from shaking and I met his gaze.
"I think we should separate," He said to me " I know this sounds selfish but I think I found my other half. And I am sure you will find yours too"
"What do you mean by separate?" I asked him dumbly.
"Rosie I will marry her next month. I have already signed the divorce papers and I think it will be fair for both of us to separate as soon as possible" He said to me. I started laughing hysterically as he looked at me.
"Tell me this is a joke. I just aborted the kid because you told me to get rid of it. Now you want to get rid of me. I can't believe it. You are too funny" I said clutching my stomach pain as I felt the stitches move.
"Are you okay, Rosie? I think we need to go see a therapist" Sid said to be looking at me guiltily.
"Why can't you love me, Sid? Why her? What should I do to become like her? So you will love me. Please tell me" I caught his hands and begged him. He tried to snatch them away but I held them.
"Rosie I think we should talk when you are more collect. As of right now, you are acting like a crazy woman" He said to me snatched his hands away. Giving me a last look he left me alone in my misery. I sat at the table watching him walk away yet again.
****
So this is chapter 12. I hope you like it.
And I don't feel like asking any questions as I feel exactly like Rosie right now. I don't know I feel like I am going crazy...
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