Song: Ruelle - Until we go down

(Where my Shanara Chronicles fans at? This song has the perfect tone for the chapter and it's the theme song to another  one of my favorite series, so win-win!)

Trigger warning: This chapter deals with a subject that may be difficult to read.

Nathan's jacket was gone. It was the first thing Natasha realized thanks to the cold seeping into her skin from the cold, hard floor on which she was currently lying sideways. The cold was more soothing than uncomfortable though, easing the burn of the pain she felt in every part of her body. The most prominent pain was in the side of her head, which thankfully wasn't pressed to the floor. She was ignoring it though, because acknowledging it meant accepting that its cause was real and not just another one of her nightmares. This was also one of the reasons her eyes were still closed. Once she opened them, whatever awaited on the other side of her eyelids would become real.

So instead, she took an inventory of all her other pains. The stinging in the heels of her feet and upper arms was not so bad. It was more of a slight twinge that she could ignore if she tried hard enough. Her hands were tied behind her back and her ankles were bound together too by what she assumed was a string of piranha teeth from the way it was digging into her skin. As long as she stayed completely still, she could ignore those too. There was nothing she could do about her heart, threatening to beat a hole through her chest. Hard as she'd tried, she couldn't get it to slow down and she worried, though unreasonably, that it was beating loud enough for the world to hear. The frantic beat rang in her ears, adding to the pounding of her head and almost drowning out another sound that had gradually been growing closer to her. 

It was a shuffling sound, like something sliding slowly across the floor. Maybe it was something that could harm her. At this point, all she hoped for was that it would kill her quickly before she had to face the reality of what she'd seen. Unbidden, the image came to the forefront of her mind, accompanied by Kelsey's ringtone; the last thing she'd been conscious of, cutting through the darkness that surrounded her. The memory did nothing for her already accelerated heart rate. If anything, it made it worse. A whimper fell from her lips as she fought against the memory, making her head pound even harder. The shuffling stopped abruptly.

"Natasha?" a voice called out from the point where the shuffling had been coming from. She knew that voice, but was it real? Did she dare open her eyes and find out?

The shuffling resumed, faster now and accompanied with heavy breaths and an occasional muttered curse. Her eyes were still closed when she felt something warm nudge her in the back.

"Are you awake?"

Still filled with disbelief, she shifted backwards a bit, wanting to make sure this was real and she wasn't dreaming. Her body protested against the movement and white hot pain shot across her entire body making her cry out. Some dust entered her mouth as she did so causing her to erupt into a fit of coughs that aggravated her already sore body. She almost passed out from the pain and in that moment of weakness, forgot about her resolution to keep her eyes closed.

The view wasn't much different with her eyes open except for a dim light coming from somewhere above her. The rest of the place was shrouded in darkness and the most she could tell through her hazy, teary vision was that she was in a small room with a staircase on one side.

"...your head a little, away from the dust and breathe slowly." The last fragments of the sentence penetrated through the cloud of pain that surrounded her. She did as she was told and when she was finally breathing normally, she spoke.

"Kelsey?" she mumbled, voice hoarse from coughing.

"Yes! It's me. I'm so glad you're alive," Kelsey replied, sounding relieved. "Do you think you can turn around and face me?"

She shook her head slightly and it felt like lead. "Hurts," she choked out.

"Okay, hold on." The shuffling began again and before long, Kelsey swam into her line of vision, having shuffled to the other side of her. She was tied up too and her hair was a mess. A piece of cloth was tied around her left arm, darkened by blood seeping out from under it.

"I thought you were dead," Kelsey cried. Natasha wanted to sit up too, like her but the slightest movement was rewarded by intense pain. "Why did you come, didn't you get my code bloody-red?"

A glimmer of hope rose in Natasha as she remembered that she'd picked up on Kelsey's coded warnings and sent a message for help before she'd been knocked unconscious.

"I sent for help. They'll come for us soon," she assured her, hoping they would still be alive long enough to be rescued.

"Who's they?" Kelsey asked, sounding hopeful.

"Nathan, Liam, your mum, Uncle David and Doctor Kepler."

"The shrink?"

"I was hoping she'd alert the police once she saw my message," Natasha explained. "Wait, how do you know her?"

"I talked to her yesterday after finding Max. But how did you know where..." Kelsey began but was interrupted by footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Oh good, you're alive. I thought I might have killed you already," another voice came, as the footsteps drew closer.

Terror filled Natasha's heart, to the point that her pains felt insignificant. She turned her head towards the voice; mostly out of fear, a little out of curiosity and watched as a shadow made its way slowly towards them. The dim lighting in the room and her blurry vision didn't help matters much but she was sure it was a girl. With every step she took, a part of the darkness enveloping her fell away so she came into view in bits. First it was the mass of golden brown hair, gathered together in a bun at the top of her head. Then it was her cream colored forehead, lined with frown lines, over which little wisps of hair fell. The most striking feature were her eyes. They were hazel but not in the warm sunset kind of way, rather like the sun surrounded by shards of ice. By the time her pale, pink bow shaped lips came into view, Natasha had stopped breathing. All she could do was stare, entranced by this girl in front of her who looked exactly like her.

"What are you doing all the way over here?" The girl directed the question to Kelsey, reaching out to grab her by the arm and drag her away from Natasha.

Kelsey kicked out at her and snapped her teeth at her outstretched hand, like a vicious little dog. "Get away from me, you murderous cow!"

Annoyed, the girl reached into her back pocket and pulled out a gun, aiming at Kelsey, who immediately stilled. "The name's Claire actually. Now, you can either come quietly back to your corner or I blow your brains out."

The cold statement coming in a voice so much like her own snapped Natasha out of her trance.

"Please don't shoot," she begged, in a low whisper. The fear stricken image of Kelsey from her nightmares swam into her mind, paralyzing her with fear as she watched it act out.

Claire's impassive gaze remained on Kelsey who returned it with a glare filled with so much hate. It felt strange to her that she felt so much hatred for someone who wore the same face as her best friend but looking into Claire's cold eyes, she saw none of the kindness that was always in Natasha's. She didn't try to kick her again, but she still wasn't budging.

"I see you think you're brave," Claire smirked and Natasha was struck by how closely the expression matched her own. It felt like looking into a 3-D mirror. She was so caught up in that, she almost missed the next words that came from Claire's mouth.

"How about I go to your house again and take Keisha for a walk to the edge of a cliff."

Both Natasha and Kelsey gasped, the collective sound bringing satisfaction to Claire. Kelsey's shoulders sank and she looked deflated. She began shuffling back to where she'd come from. Few things could silence Kelsey so her quick surrender and Claire's threats showed Natasha just how dire their situation was.

"See Natasha, it's all about knowing the right button to push." Claire grabbed Kelsey by her injured arm  and she cried out in pain as she was pulled up into a half standing position. With Kelsey's back to her front and her arms around her, making sure the gun was positioned on the base of her throat, Claire dragged her away, this time to another end of the room, along the same wall from where Natasha was.

A wave of panic hit Natasha and she finally pushed up from the floor into a sitting position, ignoring the angry protest of her body. "Wait! Please let her go! You have me now. Please!"

Claire dumped Kelsey on the ground and went back to her. "What makes you think you're the one I want?" she asked, crouching next to her. Using the gun, she pushed away some of the hair that had fallen over the wound on the side of Natasha's head and the proximity of the gun to her face almost had her passing out again. She flinched as the gun lifted some strands that had been matted down by blood and was relieved when Claire finally pulled away. She stood and walked away, crouching down near a shape that looked like a big bag. When she came back she was carrying a bottle of water and what looked like folded up t-shirts.

She set everything down next to her, including the gun, then opened the bottle of water and poured some on the t-shirt.

"How can I not be?" Natasha asked, watching her warily. "Look at me. At us."

"You're just a button Natasha," Claire said, lifting the t-shirt to the wound and wiping away some of the blood. "Just like Mac and Max and Keisha and Kelsey."

At the mention of Keisha's name, Natasha pulled away from her angrily. "If you hurt her..."

"Relax, she's fine. Back at home with mummy." Claire rolled her eyes, pulling her back by the back of her neck. "Although I'm curious why she's so obsessed with bananas. She wouldn't stop asking me for one."

A jolt of pain went through Natasha's heart as she realized that Keisha had been so innocent and oblivious to the fact that she had been with a monster. 

"I didn't mean to hit you this hard, especially given your prior head injury from Max," Claire continued, not waiting for her answer. It sounded like she was apologizing but her face was emotionless.

"Max told you about that?" Natasha asked, surprised. It made sense that Max would tell Claire details of her life while they were plotting whatever it was they'd been planning, but she didn't think he'd willingly volunteer what he'd done.

Claire shook her head, surprising Natasha even more. "I saw you after he left you that night."

That night had been almost six months ago and before Henry's death. Had Claire been planning all this for that long? Questions swam in Natasha's mind.

"I'd spotted you a few days earlier and followed you around to see where you live. You were home alone that night and I stood outside for almost an hour, debating if I should walk up to the door and talk to you." She had finished her cleaning and discarded the bloody, wet t-shirt on the floor to pick up another. She ripped it in the middle and began to tie one o the pieces around Natasha's head.

"I saw Max coming up to the house so I left. If I'd known what he was going to do..." she trailed off, frowning as she secured the knot on her makeshift bandage and sat back to admire her handiwork. "I kicked his ass for what he did when I found him," she said, smiling in recollection.

Natasha thought it was ironic that Claire had pretty much done the exact same thing she was condemning Max for, and a lot worse. Claire handed her the almost empty bottle of water and she sipped it, grateful for the cool relief on her burning throat.

"Earlier you said I'm a button," she said when she'd finished the water. "Who do you want to get to through me?" She already knew the answer but she hoped talking about it would stall whatever deadly plans Claire had in store for them long enough for help to arrive.

"I think you know the answer to that," Claire replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Mum?" Natasha whispered. It hit her then that Lily was Claire's mother too. Her head began to pound a little more.

"Mum," Claire said the word with enough venom to bring down a mammoth. "That bitch doesn't deserve the title."

Natasha understood her hostility. Whatever had happened to separate Claire from her and Lily, she probably blamed on Lily.

"Don't call her that," she said defensively.

Kelsey snorted from the other end of the room, catching their attention.

"You disagree?" Claire asked.

"To be honest, she is kind of a bitch," Kelsey said, earning a smile from Claire and a glare from Natasha.

"Hey!" Natasha said indignantly.

"Sorry Thing 1. Maybe if we agree with Thing 2, she won't kill us," Kelsey hissed.

"I like your friend," Claire laughed. "It's so much harder to kill people when you like them."

That silenced Kelsey again right away. Natasha changed the subject hastily, hoping to distract Claire from thoughts of killing them.

"So you've known about me for months?" she asked, glancing briefly over at Kelsey. She was watching them and listening but not saying a word.

Claire nodded and laughed. "I didn't even know about you or Henry or Lily. I came to Pinehive for Nathan; imagine my surprise when I spotted you."

Natasha's heart skipped a beat and across the room, Kelsey froze. "Wh-what?"

Claire lifted the collar of the jacket she was wearing to her nose and took a deep whiff, closing her eyes and sighing dreamily. Natasha finally tore her gaze away from her face which, until then had held her entire focus, and looked closer at the jacket. It was Nathan's, the one she'd been wearing not too long ago.

"Why do you have that?" she asked, confused.

"Stole it from you when you were passed out," Claire smiled, enjoying her confusion. "Are you two a thing now? That would be ironic considering my history with him."

Natasha was dumbstruck.

"Mchotpants is in on this?" Kelsey blurted out, shocked into speech.

"He is a hottie isn't he?"

"You and Nathan know each other?" Natasha finally asked, wishing her hands were free so she could shake the answers out of Claire faster. Her heart rebelled against hearing the truth, beating faster in an attempt to drown everything out. If Nathan turned out to have been a part of the Pinehive killing spree, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle a betrayal of that magnitude.

"You could say that," Claire shrugged. For the first time, Natasha saw a flicker of emotion in her. Like remorse or sadness.

"You...He...What?" she stammered, not knowing which question to ask first.

"For as long as I remember, my mum was with Ben Morris. She always said he saved her life and she owes him everything," Claire said, ignoring the fact that her words were a wrecking ball to the last pieces of Natasha's heart that were still standing.

Natasha wanted to ask what any of that had to do with Nathan but she couldn't bring herself to say the words. Her imagination was already running wild, trying to pick through every moment she'd shared with him to see if there was ever any indication of what Claire was implying. The kiss they'd shared came to mind and she almost wept in despair.

Then another thought hit her and her blood ran cold. Ben Morris. She knew that name. She'd seen it on the evidence packet with the blade in her mother's study when she and Kelsey had broken in. She strained her memory, trying to remember the second name on the packet. It her almost immediately, like a tonne of bricks. Claire Kingsley. She stared wide-eyed at Claire. Was it a coincidence, or was this the same Claire? And if it was, what did it all mean?

"He was the sole breadwinner in the house for a while, running his auto-body shop out of our backyard so we didn't really have much. My mum finally got a cleaning job at a school when I was about 13 and as part of her wages, I got free tuition so I transferred to Crenshaw High," Claire went on, oblivious to the million thoughts running through Natasha's mind.

At the mention of the name of the school, something clicked in Natasha's brain. She remembered Nathan mentioning that his sister learnt there. Her heart sank.

Oblivious to her distress, Claire continued. "I hated every moment I spent there. Everyone knew who my mother was so they played around with my initials C.K for Claire Kingsely and changed them to 'Cleaner's Kid' instead," she said. She paused, breathing heavily but when she went on, her tone had softened and her eyes were filled with sadness. "Except for Caroline. We weren't really friends but she'd always say hi to me when she met me and always addressed me by my proper name. She invited me for baseball try-outs one time, but I suck at sports so I passed on that, but once in a while I'd watch her play."

Natasha's blood turned to ice in her veins. She didn't like where the story was going at all. There was no need to ask to know that Claire was talking about Caroline Henderson; the facts were too accurate to be a coincidence.

"That's when I first saw Nathan. He came to one of her matches and cheered her on with big, goofy signs written on cardboard. I envied her so much for having a brother like that. The closest thing I had to siblings were Mark and Jake, two of my friends who lived near our house. They were a lot older than me and they weren't the billboard toting type," she snickered, obviously having recalled something she thought was funny.

By now, Natasha was practically holding her breath in suspense, waiting for the bomb to drop.

"So for the most part I only had my mum, Ben, Mark and Jake. Ben was every bit the doting father. He drove my mum and I to school every day. He even taught me to drive before I was legally supposed to. The perfect father. At first." Claire's face darkened and her hands shook slightly until she laced them together.

"He walked in on me taking a shower one day when I was 16 and Mum wasn't back home yet. I freaked out, he apologized and said he hadn't heard me in there because he had headphones on, even though I was singing loud enough for people on Mars to hear me. I brushed it off then but it still bothered me, so I only showered when Mum was home. After a while I forgot about it, at least until the camera incident."

Natasha's feelings shifted. If Claire's story was going where she thought it was going, she felt sorry for her. Almost enough to forget her earlier remarks about Nathan.

"I was bathing in the evening and Mum was making dinner. Ben was tinkering around in the garage somewhere. I was only half done when I caught a flash from the window – like someone had snapped a picture of me bathing. I screamed and Mum came and when I told her what happened she told Ben and he searched our yard but didn't find anyone. They both said it was in my head but later..." she trailed off, breathing heavily.

"Later, I saw Ben looking at his phone with this weird smile then he looked up at me and winked." She stopped again, moved her hand to her chest and rubbed it, taking deep breaths.

"I just knew right then that he was the one who took the picture. I couldn't prove it. He never said anything crude or did anything that I could report him for. All he gave me was looks. Predatory, haunting looks and I knew what he thought of doing to me. I wasn't sure if or when but it was there in his eyes..." She trailed off and stared blankly ahead.

"He was in my head and it drove me crazy. I wanted to tell my mum but what could I say? So I avoided being alone with him and spent more time with Mark and Jake and at night, I'd sleep with a knife under my pillow, just in case. The more time I spent with Mark and Jake, the deeper I got sucked into their world. They were part of a group that smuggled guns and stuff and sold them and though they never let me be a part of that; they gave me one and taught me a lot of neat tricks about shooting."

She trailed her fingers on the dusty floor, following the movement with her eyes. "The gun gave me a little peace. As long as I had it, I was confident Ben wouldn't touch me. I finally had power over him."

Natasha knew exactly what she meant. She'd felt the same way about her own gun when she stole it after Max's attack. Her eyes trailed down to the gun on the floor beside Claire, not noticing that Claire was looking at her.

"Don't even think about it," Claire said, startling her. "I'm faster than you, my hands aren't tied behind my back and I have a lot more experience shooting things."

Natasha gulped. "Did you kill Ben?"

Claire nodded gravely. "There was some important baseball game at school on the day, which meant no lessons. A lot of people always took advantage of that and skipped school altogether unless they actually wanted to watch the game. So I stayed home and so did Mum. I slept in and didn't wake up until around 10 a.m."

Her tone had changed again. She sounded robotic now; hardly blinking or moving. It felt like staring at a windup doll.

"I went out to the kitchen, expecting to find my mum making breakfast but she wasn't there. Ben walked in behind me and shut the door. I knew what was coming next from the look on his face..." her voice caught and Natasha pitied her, but she continued before she could tell her to stop.

"He grabbed me and I fought him off but my pajamas got ripped in the process. I felt exposed and vulnerable and it made me angry. Somehow I ended up with a knife in my hand and I stabbed him. Everywhere. Until he stopped moving and there was blood all over."

Natasha heard Kelsey gasp, her horror stricken face matching her own.

Claire didn't speak again for a minute or two and then she shook her head, blinking away the unpleasant memory. "Mum found me on the floor, partly naked and covered in blood with Ben dead, next to me. She figured out what happened and freaked out, but she didn't call the cops. Once she stopped panicking, she made me take off what was left of my bloody pajamas and take a shower. When I got out, she was wearing her cleaning uniform and she told me to get dressed and get into Ben's car. I took the gun with me and tucked it in the waistband of my jeans and threw on a bulky shirt over it. I thought we were running away and I didn't want the cops to come and find the gun with my fingerprints on it and trace it back to Mark and Jake. But turns out we weren't running away because it would have just made us look guilty. Mum said there were people coming to 'take care of it' and we had to go to school so we'd have an alibi. I was supposed to watch the baseball game and she was going to make sure anyone from Admin saw her so they could vouch for her being there."

"By the time we drove up to the school gate, the game was already over and the school was practically empty, except for Caroline. She was standing outside the gate by herself. When she saw me, she waved and Mum told me to go and talk to her and get details about the game that I could use in my alibi if I needed to; even though every time I opened my mouth, I felt like throwing up. I forgot about the gun under my shirt and when I got out of the car, my shirt rode up a little. She saw the gun while she was telling me she was waiting for her brother. I tried to explain but she ran off down the road. I ran back to my mum in the car and told her what had happened and she drove after her but then she..."

"Oh my God," Natasha whispered, horrified as Claire struggled to continue.

"She didn't mean to hit her. She was just trying to catch up to her but then Caroline tripped, and Mum was going so fast and she couldn't stop in time. We knew Caroline wouldn't survive that and if the police had come and found me with the gun then found Ben dead at our house, we were both going to end up in jail. So I got into the car and we drove away."

"Your mother killed Nathan's sister." Even as Natasha said it aloud, it didn't feel real to her. The memory of Nathan's haunted face when he'd told her about his sister's death hit her like a tonne of bricks and shock was quickly replaced by anger. "And you just let her drive away! Do you know what that did to him? Your psycho killer of a mother..."

She was caught off guard by a slap to her face.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that," Claire said, livid. "She's a good mother and it was an accident."

"She has to pay for what she did,"Natasha said, reeling from the sharp stinging in her cheek. The slap had awakened the throbbing in her head again.

"Not as much as Lilian should for everything she did."

"She's your rightful mother. I'm sure whatever happened to you is..." Natasha began to defend Lily.

"That bitch is not my mother!" Claire screamed at her, clenching her fists. Natasha was momentarily thrown by her outburst, and even more so still when Claire's angry expression morphed into a cruel, dark smile.  "She's not even yours either."

***

So some of you guessed evil twin (yaay you) but I bet no one guessed everything else (yaay me) lol. This chapter was hella difficult to write.

Won't say when the next chapter will be up (it seems to always jinx it when I do, lol).

And all the best to everyone entering the Wattys this year and for all those watching the World Cup. My team got knocked out yesterday so I'm done with soccer forever lol.