My marriage was conducted with extreme splendour. Not that I expected less from them, but this was quite even more amazing than whatever I had fathomed. The only thing I felt other than extreme joy was a trifle amount of discomfort, owing to the ornaments weighing me down, barely allowing me to walk. But very soon, just as my nervousness got overpowered by his soothing glances, my discomfort vanished as I found him staring at me. Actually his stare should have increased my discomfort but to my surprise it made me feel good, feel good about my looks, made me feel that I was at least a bit good-looking when compared to his heavenly charm. I smiled contently as each ritual passed on, closing every expanse of space between us, till it was reduced to zilch. And I felt myself complete.

I felt a bit bad to leave my parents, but the welcoming atmosphere brought over by Shakya and his entire family lessened all my worries. After bidding farewell to my family, I moved towards my new family.

New family! The very phrase made me sigh. I don't know if the sigh was dreamy or of nervousness. We were at our home. We would be here for the next three months and then we would move to another palace for winter. Life here was just purely blissful. Moments with Shakya in solitude made me feel more accustomed to the new scenario I was now in. Shakya spent most of his time with us, now mostly with me. Not that I was complaining!

When all his royal chores would be commencing I would be around him. Devi Gautamī suggested that I be with Shakya, even during the imperial talks. That way I would not become bored sitting in isolation. I listened to all regal conversations, but my mind was never focused on these things. Shakya and Maharaj were there for that. So I always directed my focus on to Shakya observing him from head to toe. That was a pastime I relished and that would become a pastime I would cherish in a much later course of my life.

Days passed in utter bliss and to add even extreme ecstasy in my life, came the news that a new life was going to join us in our venture. The euphoria experienced when I was told that I had a soul inside me was something which all the permutations and combinations of the twenty six alphabets fail to describe.

These days were the best days of my life. Already I wouldn't move even my little finger and now it felt as if I was the empress. Well, technically I was the empress, now that Shakya was to be the emperor; still you get the picture right? Anyways I was forever on cloud nine; well I could even say cloud one hundred and nine. I was happy all the time, as all my mood swings got attended before I could even express them.

"I won't eat anything Ma"

Maharani Gautami had asked, well to be precise ordered me to call her mother, which I more than happily obeyed.

"Well, this is a first. Why doesn't my darling princess wish to eat anything? I have made your favourites today, including your present demands. If you want something else then tell me now, it will be ready in no time"

"No, I don't want anything. This is really not fair. You are giving me everything before I can even ask, but-"

"Then what is bothering my dearest beloved wife? Are you experiencing some sort of pain? Do you want me to call the royal physician?"

Yes, did I ever mention that Shakya was forever by my side? Even during the imperial talks, I had to be in close vicinity and under his vision only.

"Shakya, I am extremely, perfectly, completely, utterly, fully, wholly, entirely, absolutely, flawlessly, exceptionally, really, enormously, exceedingly fine, and I am telling you this for the millionth time today. But still, I am angry on all of you"

My long monologue with all the adverbs uttered in a single breathe made them widen their eyes.

"And why is that so?"

"It is because you never give me even a single chance to get angry on all of you. This is not at all fair. I am not having even a single thing to get angry on"

I muttered with a frown sending all others to pearls of laughter. And trust me, I did NOT find it funny that day.

The entire 38 weeks of my gestation period were the platinum days of my entire lifetime. Soon it was time for our little one to emerge into this beautiful world. But little did I know that this beautiful world of mine would soon lose its colours.

I had turned 29 that year and so had Shakya. Shakya had been going for strolls through the garden with the charioteer Channa. When he returned, I didn't find the blissful calmness like a serene ocean usually found in his magnificent blue orbs. Instead I found confusion. His eyes reflected the colossal ocean in spate, void of the serenity.

I stood up from the bed, where I was relaxing as Shakya gazed into the star studded sky. I went and kept an arm on his shoulder. He stared into my eyes as if searching for some sort of a solution. He took my hands in his and kept his vision directed on me. Surprisingly, this didn't make me turn all cerise; perhaps, because this was different from what I had experienced earlier. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion and immediately Shakya turned his face away.

"What happened?"

My voice was barely a whisper. He sighed deeply.

"Dhara, do I make you suffer?"

I was shocked with such a question. Shakya making me suffer! The phrase seemed like a lame joke.

"No way Shakya! Whatsoever gave you that impression; just take it out of your mind"

"Suffering is something inevitable, isn't it? Life on this planet is one filled with suffering"

I didn't want to speak about it. So I just rested my head on his shoulder. Shakya passed on a small smile and sighed caressing me.