I saw you retreating towards the precipice. Tears were streaming down your face. Blood was escaping from your lips, then you closed your eyes and fell backwards. I saw Chenqing leave your hand and go down to that glowing hell at the bottom of the abyss.

Why?

Because you had just lost your shijie?

Because you saw the madness of the men ready to kill to seize the Yin Hufu?

Why did you force me to let you go?

Why did you smile so sweetly when you fell?

Why did you look so... serene?

I was only pain and incomprehension. I could only watch you fall. I continued to stare into the void long after you were gone. I couldn't understand and accept that I won't see you again. I heard Jiang Cheng walking away.

Why did you leave me?

At Phoenix Mountain, you told me that you once considered me your soul mate. Didn't I tell you that I was still your soul mate? And A-Yuan? The child you loved like a son? Where was he?

That's when I came to my senses! A-Yuan, ... you must have left him at the burial mound! I had not seen him among the Wen who had surrendered. So he must still be there! I turned my head towards the battlefield, my brother and Nie MingJue were trying to calm everyone down. I saw Jiang Cheng gather some men and take one of the paths down the precipice.

I had to be quick. Despite my injuries, I climbed on Bichen and flew to Yiling. I had to get there before all the clans came to their senses and decided to take over your domain. I headed for the cave. That's where I found him, shivering with fever. I took your child in my arms and carried him outside, but I felt them coming.

I put A-Yuan in a corner inside the cave. I took Bichen out and stood in front of the entrance. No one would pass, I vowed.

Su-She and several men from different sects stood in front of me. I made it clear to them that none of them would enter your shrine! So they destroyed everything outside. The houses you had built, the crops you had laboriously grown and the lotuses you had lovingly grown!

And then Jin Guang Yao came and held Su-She and his men back. He made them leave. But before he left, he warned me that my uncle Ri Qen was coming to take me back to Yunshen Buzhi.

So I stood my ground! They too were not supposed to find out about A-Yuan! For the first time in my life, I stood up to my uncle and the elders of my clan! I stopped the fight only when they were all down. I got up laboriously, leaning on Bichen, and took A-Yuan away from all this fury.

I went to my old nanny and asked her to take care of him. I think she must have thought he was my son! She didn't say anything. I explained to her that I didn't know when I could come back. She reassured me. She would take care of the child for as long as it took. When I left her house, it was dark.

I went down to Cayi. In the silence of the night, I remembered your smile and the last look you gave me. My heart sank. When I arrived in town, I bought that alcohol you liked so much: the emperor's smile. Then I slowly returned to the Jingshi. I emptied the whole jar. I have no memory of what happened that night! But when I woke up, I had this mark on my chest, the same as the one you were wearing: the mark of the Wen's marking iron !

They came to get me. I knew what was waiting for me. I had to accept my punishment for my disobedience and I knew it would be heavy. Had I not hurt our elders and my uncle? I deserved what was going to happen to me and who knows ... maybe with a little luck I would join you.

The punishment came. On my knees in front of my uncle, I listened to him pronounce my sentence: 300 lashes of discipline and 3 years of confinement in the cave of the cold basin!

20 strokes for each person I had hurt... I stood up straight. My fists clenched... my heart broke but I did not weaken. I took each blow. Blood stained my tunic as the wooden plank fell on my back.

"52nd rule of Lan Clan" my uncle asked me.

"Don't be friends with bad people" I replied.

He accused me of trampling on the foundations of our teaching and dishonoring our ancestors.

Bad people,... Wei Ying was not a bad person. I don't believe it and I would never believe it.

"What is right or wrong? What is black or white? "I asked him.

The only answer he gave me was that I had deeply disappointed him. He, the teacher, who always knew how to answer all questions, was unable to answer mine!

The blows continued to rain down on my back. I did not weaken. I would never give them the pleasure of seeing me weaken. I held on until the end. It was only then that I collapsed, unconscious.

When I woke up, I was in the cold cave. My wounds had been bandaged. I could hardly move. Three years of loneliness awaited me.

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