This time, I really believed it! The pain, the disappointment, I couldn't take it anymore. What a fool I was to believe in a legend!

All because Gin GuangYao had said that Siubian and Chenqing had sealed themselves!

Tears were streaming down my face. I returned to the inn where I had settled since the beginning of the week. Given the late hour of the night nobody saw me fortunately, because they would have been horrified to see in which state I was. My dress stained with mud and blood. My face ravaged by tears.

Once in my room, Bichen slipped from my hand. I didn't have the strength to bend down and pick it up. My heart was in pieces. To have relived, for a few moments, your last moment, I think, made me fall into nothingness. I know that it was Hu Meng who fell, that it was not you, but he looked so much like you !!!!

You had the same smile, the same look, the same red ribbon in your hair... I collapsed on the bed.

I had arrived in Xining a week before. I had heard that Jiang Cheng had been hunting for a demonic cultist near this city.

I had quickly found the trace of the one I was looking for. His name was Hu Meng. I found out that he was a former disciple of the Long Clan, the Northern Mountain Dragon Sect.

When I first saw him, I couldn't believe my eyes. He looked so much like you, he could have been your younger brother!

He didn't seem to mind that I was there. He knew who I was. The first thing he told me was that he was not my enemy, that he cultivated in an unconventional but by no means demonic way. He used talismans and music! At these words, I went back 7 years when I asked you to explain your behavior!

I knew it wasn't you,....but for a fleeting moment, I wanted to believe it...I thought I had found you again....that you lived in him.

But beyond your physical resemblance and your cultural path. You were different! You always had a sense of honor and justice. This was not the case with Hu Meng.

I tried to reason with him, as I had tried to reason with you...and I failed, once again!

We were at the top of the waterfall when Jiang Cheng found us. I got in the way. We fought. I had never crossed swords with him before. He was strong... almost as strong as you my love!

At one point my foot slipped and I was thrown off balance. My attention slackened for a split second as Jiang Cheng attacked me with Zidian. Hu Meng threw himself between us and was thrown over the edge of the cliff. I threw myself at him... Not a second time!

I grabbed him, but the water droplets from the waterfall had made our hands slippery. His fingers slipped and he fell. In a split second, I was back in Qishan 6 years ago, watching you fall into the abyss. I jumped on Bichen and dived down the cliff.

Hu Meng was there, lying on the rocks. He was about 2 meters away from falling into the water and would have been safe.

I started to scream in despair. Seeing his body was like seeing yours! I looked up at the top of the cliff. Jiang Cheng was watching us. He must have seen the hatred on my face because he turned around and left.

I looked down at the body lying on the rocks. I couldn't leave him there. I picked him up on my back and carried him home. I laid him on his bed. I couldn't take it anymore.

I returned to the inn in a daze.

I regained consciousness. I was on my bed. My heart and mind were empty. I had no hope. Bichen was on the floor. I dropped down next to her and drew it. I stared at the blade, glowing with a soft blue glow. I felt the coldness of the steel on my wrist and then on my second wrist. I closed my eyes.

I'm coming to you, my love.

I did not hear the door opening violently and a voice calling me,

"Han Guangjun"!

I felt like I was in a dream. I felt vaguely that I was being carried. I heard voices ... far away. A woman and at least two men. I tried to open my eyes, but I could not.

"How is he? "the woman's voice said.

"The fever is almost completely gone, I have stitched up the wounds on her wrists! Now it's all about willpower! And unfortunately I don't think he has any more. "

I knew that voice, it was the voice of the man who had saved my life in the ruins: Baochen SanRen. I managed to open my eyes.

"Is he conscious? "The woman asked.

"Barely.

"That's better. Come here... remember what I told you? "the woman addressed the third figure.

My eyes could only perceive blurred shapes. The black shadow came forward and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Lan Zhan, you must fight, I swear I will return to you. You must wait for me. "

It was the voice of my love. I had to make sure, I had to know, but it was so hard to speak!

"Wei...Ying, is that... You? I...joined you? "

"No, Lan Zhan, I came into your dream, to tell you to keep your courage and especially your hope. You are not alone, think of A-Yuan, he is still young, he needs you. "

"A-Yuan?"

"Yes, now sleep and promise me that you will never try to join me again. Wait until I do it. "I felt his hand on my cheek. It was warm.

"I... promise... " then I sank back into unconsciousness.

How long I stayed like that between dream and reality...I can't say. What I do know is that one morning I opened my eyes and everything around me was clear.

I was in a room that I didn't know. The room was warm. There were many candlesticks all over the place. A work table with an inkwell, pencils and brushes was in a sort of alcove with a low cabinet next to it.

I noticed a flute on the cabinet near the entrance.

A small square table was set up near the bed. There were several jars of remedies on it, as well as a cup and a teapot.

Someone was treating me. Who was it? What was this place?

My wrists were hurting! I lowered my eyes and raised them. I looked without really understanding. They were bandaged. Slight traces of blood were visible through the bandages. The events just before I lost consciousness gradually came back to me.

The emptiness, the despair, the feeling of steel on my skin... and a voice from a dream. But was it really a dream?

I heard the door open. Baochen entered. I had the answer to one of my questions!

"Ah, you are finally awake, Han Guangjun! I was beginning to worry and wonder whether I should tell your brother. You've been unconscious for almost 10 days! "

I stood up in bed. My head turned slightly. Baochen rushed over and helped me to sit up.

"Take it easy, boy! Although I arrived at the right moment, you lost a lot of blood and you were also in a very tired state. How long has it been since you had a full night's sleep? "

I remained silent. He took my right wrist and looked at the bandage, then pointed two fingers in his direction. A flow of energy entered me. It felt good. The pain was fading away. I felt my strength gradually returning.

"I see that you don't want to talk about it. I won't ask any questions about what you did. But I want to make sure you won't do it again! "

I raised my head to look at him. He did the same. I nodded my head up and down.

"I promise," I frowned. An echo of that sentence was coming back to me. It seemed to me that I had said it before, not so long ago.

A slight smile stretched Baochen's lips. I looked around.

"Where are we? Are we...alone here?"

"Yes, it's just the two of us and we're at my house in Baling. You will rest for a few more days and then you can return to Guzu... "

"I thought I saw two people... "

"You had a high fever when I brought you back. You must have had a hallucination! "

He stopped the transfer and began to re-dress my wrists. When they were removed, I could see the wounds. They looked deep. I would have marks. Evidence of my desperation.

If I wanted to hide what I had tried to do from those who loved me, I would have to wear a tunic with a tight sleeve and protective bandages. Under the loose sleeves of my dress, it would not be noticeable.

Baochen handed me a fragrant cup. Definitely...this was becoming a habit!

"How did you know? You weren't there by chance, were you? "

"I told you last time, I'll always be here, if you need me."

"But ..... "He interrupted me and put his two hands over his ears.

"te...te...te...te, I can't hear you! Shh!".

He got up and went to his work table. He took a book that was in the cabinet within reach. And opened it. He seemed really focused. I was trying to figure out what book he was reading.

Probably a medical book. I could see one of the pages from a distance.

It was definitely not a medical book! Well, not really!

"Han Guang Jun, curiosity is a bad trait, don't you have a rule about that in your sect? "

Yes, one of the very first ones even...and now I understood why.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)