Half-assed Space Craft

"You're serious," Takebayashi realized.

Karma shook his head , softly. "he officially gone off the deep end once again."

Koro-sensei was beyond excited. "YES! Consider this the Assassination Classroom out-of-season research project!"

A picture of several realistically drawn students of E Class was shown as if it were a flyer. In the top center were the ISS and a picture of Saturn, which was actually a 'realistically drawn' Koro-sensei face with rings around it.

"Ground control to Major Tom," an astronaut voice said. "The ISS has been hijacked!"

"Whoa. No way," Nagisa said.

"Yes, way! Yes way ! " Koro-sensei insisted enthusiastically. "All the way!" He was beyond excited. "Consider this the Assassination Classroom out-of-season research project!"

A picture of several realistically drawn students of E Class were shown as if it were a flyer. In the top center was the ISS and a picture of Saturn, which was actually a 'realistically drawn' Koro-sensei face with rings around it. "Ground control to Major Tom," an astronaut's voice said. "The ISS has been hijacked!"

(And so, the E Class's unprecedented research project began.) Nagisa narrated. Itona was working with Takebayashi and Nakamura.

"The re-entry capsule carrying the research data will plunge into the Pacific Ocean," Koro-sensei told his students. "As a precaution against potential theft by the super creature which the said data pertains, the capsule will remain unopened while enroute to the lab - an insightful provision on their part. I'm not equipped to handle heavy objects, you see. A five-ton capsule might as well be a reinforced bank safe for all I'd be able to carry it."

"Which is why we'll get them to show us the goods before re-entry," Okano said. She looked up at Koro-sensei. "Still, though, does Japan really have the tech to launch an unmanned rocket into space?"

"It's hard to believe, but as it so happens, yes. Of course, I might have had a little something to do with that, but it's whatever."

Nagisa smiled. "There were a lot of unknowns, a lot to be terrified of, but when there's a problem to tackle, we come together. And when we come together... Blast off!"

Isogai stood at the front of the classroom. "Okay, we have a plan. Time to put that plan into action! First off, the rocket only holds two people." He raised his own hand, volunteering before asking the question. "Who's going?"

"ME!" most of the boys in the class said immediately and in unison, eagerly raising their hands.

Isogai's smile wavered. "Ah... Okay."

"Oh, the boys huh?" Nakamura commented, resting her face on her hand as she leaned against her desk.

Koro-sensei spoke up. "It's an experimental vessel with no successful flights yet...Who still wants to go!?"

Everyone except for Itona set their hands down. "I still want to," Said Itona. "I love technology. The whole idea makes my mouth water. It's just... it's clear to me who should go." He turned his head to look at them. "Nagisa. Karma."

Karma looked over at him. "Well...." he place finger on his chin. "I guess I can go again." He hummed thoughtfully and rested his arms behind his head and leaned back in his chair.

Okano rose a brow. " 'again' ? "

There was a pause. Many jaw dropped to the ground.

"You're serious," Takebayashi realized.

"N-no way..." Okajima choked.

Karma didn't answered their question , judged by his look the classmate knew Karma would never lied.

Maehara eyes widened in alarm. "WHAT!?"

"Wait , you went space before ? " Okuda looked amazed.

"Seriously?!" Nagisa exclaimed. "What can't you do ? "

But Kataoka smiled, glancing back and forth between Nagisa and Karma. "Karma the fighter, to provoke; Nagisa the assassin, for safety. They might be a good choice for hijacking a space station."

"G-Great," Isogai said trying to light up the mode again. "Everyone save up some money so we can cover the costs."

"Karma?"

The redhead looked toward the direction of Nagisa's voice.

"Look like it just the two of us" Nagisa smiled enthusiastically.

"Excellent," Koro-sensei said. "Then it's settled."

The screen showed the Cape Shimazu Space Center on the day of the launch. A few students from Class E were running toward the outer fence. They each grabbed their left wrist and the other's right, forming a square. The three others that had come leaped onto their hands and were catapulted over the fence, landing safely on the other side.

Toka and Kurahashi immediately took off the jackets of their PE uniforms, wearing black, long-sleeved shirts underneath. Kimura ran across a street, hiding in the bushes on the other side. He watched the building, preparing for the right time to make his move. Toka and Kurahashi now wore everyday skirts and coats, walking confidently through the halls of the building. They opened a door and walked in, uninvited, to the ground control room.

One of the men turned to look at the girls. "Hey, you! How the hell did you get in here?" He stood up from his chair and walked over to them.

"You don't even have ID cards do you?" Another questioned.

"We're here on a field trip but we got lost! We followed some guy and wound up here." Kurahashi told them innocently, holding onto Toka. Then through another door in the room, Kimura sneaked inside without being detected as the girls continued their lie. "But since we're here... let us do the countdown!"

Kimura slipped in through a back door and sighed in relief. He'd entered without being noticed. "'Kay, Ritsu, I'm in the control room now. You said any of these computers should do the trick, right?" he whispered.

"Affirmative," Ritsu responded.

"Okay, I'm plugging you in and getting out of here, stat!" Kimura plugged a flash drive into one of the computers. Toka and Kurahashi's distraction continued.

"I don't care how cute you are - no! Authorized personnel only!" one of the ground control workers replied.

"Aw, I wanna push the launch button!" Toka insisted.

"Hey! Tickling won't help!" the worker shouted.

Ritsu quickly finished. "Security analysis complete!" she said, holding a missile behind her back. "All clear! Installation of remote control virus onto the control room mainframe successful!" Nagisa and Karma listened from an underground tunnel. "Both the on-board flight systems and the ground control network now operate on my command! We're good to go!"

Nagisa looked at Karma. "The first hurdle has been cleared. Nice." He turned his attention back to the AI. "Hey, Ritsu? Looks like a big chunk of our entry route is above ground. There anything you can do about that?"

"Roger. I'm confirming your current position now," she responded. Starting from a map of the world, she zoomed in until she found their precise location. "There you are. How about I shut down the security camera in that sector for ten seconds?"

"Sounds good."

"In three, two, one, go!"

Nagisa and Karma sprinted across the open area and continued underground toward the rocket. Soon, they were under the launch site.

"Security guard passing through," Ritsu told them. "Next patrol in approximately ten minutes. More cameras... let me adjust their angle. There, that should take care of it." Nagisa lifted the cover of a square manhole and jumped out. Karma did the same. "It's not off, so please be careful."

"Will do," Nagisa responded. Karma began running toward the rocket. Nagisa put the cover back on the manhole and followed.

Karma and Nagisa rode up an elevator to reach several flights of stairs. When the elevator stopped, they ran up to the rocket. "The staircase to the rocket hatch is fifty meters. We'll have to be quick," Nagisa thought. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw who was next to the entrance to the rocket. "Koro-sensei?"

Koro-sensei was poorly disguised as a human. He wore small, round sunglasses and a black bandana that was tied right where a nose should have been. "Nurufufufu! Inspection? Perfection!"

Ritsu spoke up. "I'm relaying recorded footage of the dummies to the control-room. If you swap them out now you won't get caught."

"Come on, Nagisa ." Karma instructed.

Nagisa gave a light smile and nodded.

"Well here we go!" Nagisa smiled anxiously.

The space center began the countdown. " 100 , 99 , 98 ,97 ,96 , 95 ," The rest of E Class, among other spectators, were waiting in an area on the center's property to watch the rocket take off. "94 , 93 , 92 , 91 , 90..."

The countdown continued as the others in the control room checked the necessities for a successful takeoff. "Liquid oxygen and liquid nitrogen systems are functioning normally," one said.

"25 , 24 , 23..."

"Flight mode on." Fire came out of the bottom of the rocket. "22 , 21 , 20 , 19..."

"You know something?" Nagisa said to Karma. They wore the spacesuits and were fastened into their seats. "This takes me back. I never felt this kind of nervousness before."

"Yeah, definitely," Karma nodded , calmly. "Except, you've changed a little since then."

Nagisa looked over , surprised before smiling. "I guess so..."

"All systems go."

"5 , 4 , 3...Main engine ignition." The countdown began going back up as flames shot out of the end of the rocket. "One. Two. Three. SRB ignition." Nagisa and Karma were shaken around inside the rocket as it drew closer to leaving the ground. A cloud of smoke exploded around the rocket.

"That's lift off."

The rocket flew into the sky. The students watched in amazement as their two classmates were shot into outer space. Karma and Nagisa stared straight ahead, their faces showing no emotion.

Then, they somehow heard Koro-sensei's voice from outside the rocket. "Oh, my! It's so fast!"

"I didn't realize you were tagging along!" Nagisa exclaimed.

Koro-sensei gave a small laugh. "Well, you know me; I'm a worrier. Try not to be overly concerned with getting the research data, agreed? You're soaring through space! Sit back and relish the experience!"

"Koro-sensei?" Nagisa said. "There's something I'd like to say. You never waste an opportunity to teach us something, even if you have to put yourself in danger." Various examples of this from the school year flashed across the screen. "We're very grateful for that, but your life means more to us than what it can teach. It's what this whole mission is about! Just wanted you to know that."

"Thank you," Koro-sensei replied. "I do. And I appreciate it." Suddenly, he was pulled off the side of the rocket from the force of the air pushing against him. He panicked as he was left behind.Karma looked over at the window , quietly and watched Koro-sensei wiped a tear from his eye with a tissue as he watched the rocket shoot farther and farther into the sky.

The scene cut to show outer space. The rocket was approaching a much bigger ship. "Rendezvous complete. Commence HTV catch."Someone spoke in English.

"Roger."

"Mechanical arm: operation verified. Three more meters. Two meters. One meter."

The arm grabbed onto the capsule with ease. "HTV catch complete. Commence gripping. Demonstration ship: grip complete. Docking complete." The mechanical arm dragged the capsule into the ship "Shield interface: All green. Air pressure: normal. Permission granted to open hatch. Welcome to the space station."

"Your country sent you a doll to play with,"a large astronaut with a white beard and mustache said in English. "How about welcoming it aboard and giving it a big hug?

A Japanese astronaut moved toward the door. "Okay!"He opened the door and looked inside, immediately noticing that the spacesuits were empty. "Huh? Where's the dummy?" he called to the others. Suddenly, Nagisa came up from behind him and pulled him down into the capsule."What?"

"What the-?" The other astronauts watched with surprise.

Back on Earth, the people in the ground control room were confused. All they could see and hear from the space station was static. "Huh? A communications error?"

"Huh? What's wrong?"the astronaut with the white beard asked, entering the capsule with an African astronaut. "Huh?!"

"H-hello!"Nagisa said in English, smiling brightly at them. He held up a knife and a small box labelled 'BOMB'. Ritsu was standing on the screen of his phone, which floated next to him.

"Wha- Why is there a kid in here instead of a dummy?" the astronaut with the white beard asked.

"Is something wrong?"another astronaut asked, coming up behind the two at the door.

Ritsu winked and held up a pair of scissors. "I have terminated the comm-link with Earth!"

"Thank you, Ritsu," Nagisa cleared his throat before swapping back to English to speak with the men in the space station. "We have a bomb. We would like to do this peacefully. Please back away so we can talk. This place is a little cramped. Let's talk somewhere with more space."He grew nervously.

The men did as told and moved to another room that was much brighter. They also brought the entire crew, which was six men total, though one was still held captive by Nagisa.

"Therefore, please allow us to copy the American team's data,"Nagisa began to sweat as he continued to speak in English. "I won't be making anymore demands..."

But the men were unfazed, staring at them with almost bored expressions. Nagisa grew more nervous by the lack of reaction. The bald man suddenly began to clap, giving them an amused smile. "First, let me give you a hand. Bravo." He spoke in Japanese.

Nagisa's eyes widened in surprise and relief. "Ah! Japanese..."

"Well, yeah, aren't they required to know multiple languages?" Fujii commented. "Plus one of them is Japanese."

"But are you really gonna take on the six of us? Soldiers included?" He asked. "A bomb doesn't scare us." He switched back to English. "Because we've been running experiments here, not knowing when this is all gonna blow up and kill us all."

"Running a dangerous experiment without me again ?" Familiar voice piped up behind them.

"This voice..."The man gasped softly , recognizing the voice. They looked around to see no one when a dark figure appeared behind one of them.

"BOO !" Karma taunted , sticking his tongue out like a child. "Tada ! Surprise ! Surprise !"

"Yo Karma-kun !" An Africans astronaut exclaimed in English , he went up to the boy and hug him which the boy gladly returned it. "Long time no see , kid."

"What are you doing here ?" The other astronauts smiled , name Mizui.

Karma answered with a friendly smile. "I'm here to save my teacher , of course."

The man looked surprised. "You mean...the creature ?" The others share a looked when they saw Karma nod his head. He turned around and said, "So that's why you came here. No worries , we own you kid. I accept the hijacker's demands."

"We can make it back on our own," Karma said. "Our classmate's worked out the return orbital calculations perfectly."

"Yep!" Ritsu confirmed. "Our teacher can do any fine-tuning by pushing us in midair."

"You cheeky little fella." The Africans ruffles Karma's hair , they gather around the boy hugging , laughing and joking around as if they were a family. "You should have told us you came , we missed you."

Karma laughed. "Sorry , sorry."

"THEY KNOW HIM ?!" The rest of the class watched the negotiations and awe at Karma's expression through Ritsu's screen in the classroom. Ritsu, on Nagisa's phone, floated behind the two students, sending a live recording back to them.

At the back ground , Nagisa stand at the distance , his shock face turn to a small smile. Admiring the moment of them hanging out like a close family. Nagisa voice narrated in his own mind. "Karma looked so happy, " the screen zoomed up to Karma's smiling face. "is rare to see him like this."

"It seems you have genuine faith in your target's plans..." The astronaut with the white beard considered their argument before looking up at them. "All right. I'll take it upon myself to accept the hijackers' demands." He turned around to look at the other astronauts and said in English, "Prepare the data."He then turned back to the students and, switching back to Japanese, said, "But first, help us offload supplies. We'll put you to work and get you out of here already."

" I think they must have wanted to give us junior high kids the experience of a lifetime," Nagisa thought. He and Karma helped move white cases from the capsule to the space station. Karma unzipped one of the cases to find space food. He opened one of the packets and started eating it without permission. Nagisa and one of the astronauts rushed over to try to stop him, appalled with his behavior.

At another point, Karma pushed Nagisa to an open space in the center of the station and shoved the top of his head, causing his friend to spin around like a pinwheel. One of the astronauts gestured to them to look at Earth through a small window. Karma and Nagisa gathered around it, enjoying the view.

"This might just save him," Karma said to Nagisa.

"...Yeah." Nagisa grinned.

They both continue to stare out the window. Karma seem to be deep in thought , the familiar voice echoed into his mind. "And that'd be enough for you, right ? Karma-kun. " Karma frowned , faintly before the pushed himself away from the wall. " if I could make it in time , once again." he thought.

This left Nagisa float there.Nagisa's phone was plugged into a computer to transfer the data to Ritsu. Nagisa and Karma watched the screen as the progress bar grew closer to the end.

"That's the lab data on preventing that super creature from exploding," the astronaut with the white beard told them.

"No signs of falsification," Ritsu told them. "I can confirm it's the full data from the experiment in question. I'll just grab a copy." She winked.

"It's copied," Karma said, unplugging the phone. He turned to Nagisa. "Now to get back and validate it."

"Yeah, we don't want to overstay our welcome," Nagisa replied.

"Hey, Uncle!" Karma called to the astronaut with the white beard. "You can keep this!" He roughly threw the 'bomb' at him.

The astronaut caught it. "Whoa, whoa, hey!" he said.

"It's filled with sweet bean jelly, so knock yourselves out!" Karma said, winking.

"Ohhh, noooo!" the entire group of astronauts said.

Karma and Nagisa smiled brightly at them. "Just say you were too spooked by the bomb to disobey," Karma suggested.

Nagisa bowed deeply to them. "We're really sorry for all the trouble we've caused!"

"At least it killed some time, right?" Karma said, not seeming the least bit sorry. He bent the knife back and forth, revealing that it was really an anti-sensei knife that only appeared to look real.

The astronauts laughed.

Karma and Nagisa headed back to the capsule. The Japanese astronaut watched them leave. "Swimming in zero gravity like they're at a friend's house, negotiating for top-secret intel like they're bargaining at a penny-candy shop, piercing the atmosphere like they're heading home from school..." Karma did a front flip through the doorway.

"There's some pretty amazing junior high kids out there!" the Japanese astronaut said to them.

"You guys are an awesome group of heroes," the astronaut with the white beard said in English.

The one with blond hair said in English, "Come back anytime, but next time, do it the right way."

Karma responded in English. "Maybe....." He smiled at them, giving them a thumbs up. "...I'll make sure to to get in power before doing so."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it," the astronaut with the white beard said. Karma and Nagisa were then sent back into space, returning to Earth.

"Now to see if we can get back to Earth in one piece. Ritsu?" When Ritsu didn't respond, Nagisa looked up to search for her. "Ritsu?"

But Karma's phone floated by and Ritsu grinned. "I'm on it. I've crunched a ton of numbers to get you guys down safely. This spaceship might as well be my own body by now." The screens showed the calculations Ritsu was making to find the ideal way home. "Plus, all those sensors I have are picking up more now than ever before. External temperature... air pressure...speed...the scenery....Nagisa-san, Karma-san, I even have a clear read on your respiration, your conversation, your heart rate, your warmth..." Ritsu's eyes were closed and she glowed brightly. "To think so much...to move...to feel...how wonderful...this mission has evolved my intelligence, I'm experiencing it firsthand!" Ritsu smiled softly as she continued to feel so much. "Hey...you two...I just gained awareness of an emotion for the very first time. I'm happy. Happy to be a part of this class!"

The capsule plunged into the atmosphere, a dome of fire forming at the front. Inside, Karma and Nagisa were back in their space suits and fastened into their seats, being shaken around harshly. The dome grew around the entire capsule and left a trail of smoke behind them.

Koro-sensei flew beside them and landed on the capsule. "Right on schedule! And what a gruelling trip it must have- Ow!"

"Koro-sensei!" Nagisa exclaimed.

Three large parachutes shot out of the sides of the capsule.

Koro-sensei spoke through the side of the capsule. "So I didn't need to intercede in the negotiations after all!" he said. "You really must have gotten through to those space guys!"

"Guess so," Karma responded.

"Now to give you a little shove!" Koro-sensei flew by the side of the capsule, attempting to push it with his fists, but it was much too hot for him to touch. He still tried, even though his efforts were doing absolutely nothing to change the path of the capsule. "Hup! Ow! Hup! Hot! Ow! Hot!" he cried. "Onward to- Ow!"

The class could now see the capsule returning from the sky.

"Hey! They made it! They're back!" Sugino shouted.

The class celebrated. "Keep going! Almost there!" Isogai yelled.

"We doubted, fretted, came apart, and clashed..." Nagisa thought back to various memories from the 'saving Koro-sensei' situation, from Koro-sensei sharing his story to his and Karma's one-on-one to visiting the space station. "And finally, at the end of that long month, we went to space! "

The capsule crashed into the water where E Class was waiting. The students continued to cheer as they rushed toward it.

"Phew..." Koro-sensei, now standing off to the side, wiped sweat from his forehead with relief.

Bitch-sensei and Karasuma stood behind him. Bitch-sensei appeared calm and unconcerned. She had seemed to accept that this sort of thing was normal in E Class. Karasuma, on the other hand, was livid.

"What in the name of God did you do?!"

Koro-sensei panicked. "AAAAH!"

"I can't even conceive how much apologizing this is going to take!" He snapped.

"I-I threatened the students into going! You two aren't at all responsible, you didn't know my plan. Besides we got a nice bonus out of it." Koro-sensei held up a phone. "Data from using real humans instead of dummies. This alone should make another rocket launch worthwhile. And Ritsu discovered a more efficient course into space. Take all this and we'll call it even." Koro-sensei grinned hopefully, holding out the phone to Karasuma.

Karasuma yanked the device out of Koro-sensei's tentacle, still fuming. "You're. Unbelievable."

The entire class was surrounding Karma and Nagisa, who stood in the water in front of the opened capsule. Karma and Nagisa simply smiled at each other, being the only ones to share these once-in-a-lifetime experiences. After a moment, Nagisa faced his classmates. "It's good to be home."

When they returned to the classroom, they went over the data on Ritsu's screen.

"Whoa, you've gotta be kidding me!" Maehara exclaimed. "I'm glad you got it and all, but, I mean, for real, this stuff might as well be in Greek!"

"I'll handle it, let's see here..." Okuda began to read the data out loud. "An experiment in space proved that the risk of explosion for a tentacle creature is inversely proportional to its size. The bigger it is, the more stable, while the smaller ones have a higher likelihood of exploding." She explained as Nagisa buttoned up a beige coat over his usual outfit. Karma was drinking some strawberry milk.

"Unlike those the size of a small mouse, the probability of a human sized creature going berserk is much lower than expected." Okuda continued.

Kataoka's eyes widened. "Huh? That means..."

"Wait, hang on. It says the drug indicated below is administered and a silicon compound used to stimulate the flow of blood... Oh, I get it! By relieving muscular tension, you decrease the creature going critical, of course!"

"Tension?" Isogai and Maehara asked in unison.

"When the following conditions are satisfied, the possibility of explosion, even if initially high, drops to less than one percent!"

"One percent?" Isogai repeated. The rest of the class stayed silent.

"It is likely that other cells will die out before any explosion occurs, and the creature will gently evaporate within 90 years."

Terasaka approached Ritsu's box, pointing at the screen. "So this drug they're talking about - can we make it, or what?"

"Yes, it's very simple. As a matter of fact, the compound I made a while ago is almost identical in structure!" Okuda said, referring to the one that had turned Koro-sensei into a silver blob.

"SERIOUSLY?!" the class yelled.

Koro-sensei laughed nervously, unsure of how to respond.

"Wow," Fuwa said. "So... the key to solving this has been in front of us all along?"

"But are we sure?" Muramatsu asked. "It just seems a little too easy, is all."

"Easy?" Kayano said. "I don't think I'd call the road we've been on easy."

"Kayano..." Nagisa said.

"My sister gave her life to help Koro-sensei, to keep him from going rogue. And he chose to follow in her footsteps, risking his neck just to give us a chance in the world!" Kayano smiled. "If we hadn't put our own lives on the line, how far could we go? Would we have found the drug? Even more importantly, would we have grown into a class that could travel into space?"Nagisa smiled.

"Look at it this way," Sugino said enthusiastically. "Less than one percent is practically zero! Even if we don't kill him, Earth won't explode!"

The class celebrated. Several students hugged each other. For a moment, everyone was happy.Suddenly, Isogai stopped and his smile faded. "Wait a minute, what about the assassination?" he asked.

"Huh?" His classmates looked at him. "We've been working on it as a class since the first term. Are we calling it off? Is that what we've decided?"

"I guess this means it kind of is, yeah," Sugino said. "Maybe..."

The class talked amongst themselves, debating how to solve the issue until Terasaka's voice overpowered everyone else's. "Nagisa," he said. "This was your idea. What do you wanna do?"

Karasuma spoke up from the front of the classroom before Nagisa could respond. "However minute the possibility maybe, the government's not going to cancel its plans, not as long as a creature like him is running loose."

E Class smiled at their superhuman teacher. Koro-sensei smiled happily back.

"I want to be respectful of the whole class," Nagisa answered, "particularly since we've made it this far. We talked it out and we decided if we couldn't kill Koro-sensei by the March deadline, we'd stop being assassins-in-training and opt for a more traditional student-teacher dynamic. But until then, we brandish our blades with the strength of our convictions. After all, in this classroom, assassination isn't just the bond we share with Koro-sensei, it's the bond we share with each other."

The class dove at Koro-sensei with their weapons.

"Now all I have to wait for them to get their move." Karma finished. "Here we go."

Smut - coming soon

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