Castle Araluen was a welcome and familiar sight. Y/N was exhausted and her travels back here wore her to the bone. It seemed farther returning here than it had felt when she had set off for Halt's just over a year ago. Maybe it was the grief she was feeling for having left Gilan that made the journey seem longer. But regardless, she was just glad the castle was finally in sight.

There was only one problem. She had to get to Crowley somehow without being spotted by anyone else. No one here would remember her and that would mean if any of the guards caught her, there would be no talking her way to innocence. They'd just see her as some rogue they'd never seen before, suspiciously sneaking around the castle. It wasn't worth the risk.

She just had to find a way around. Like most Rangers, Crowley had his own cottage situated amongst the trees outside of the castle. Though he had his own quarters in the castle, he still spent a fair amount of his time at the cottage, finding some peace and quiet to work in. This time of year, he'd be more likely to be there.

Y/N had to take the long way around Castle Araluen, making sure to avoid lookouts and to brush past the sentries routes. It took her late into the evening to carefully pick her way through the woods, but eventually, Crowley's cottage came into view.

There were signs of life inside. A small plume of smoke curled up from the chimney and Cropper, Crowley's horse, nibbled away at grass. Crowley had taught the old horse to not alert him if Y/N was around because that meant it also might alert someone who was looking for her one day. It was a precaution he'd chosen to make to help keep her hidden away and now it just made it easy for her to sneak up on him.

Briefly, her chest tightened. She'd never considered the possibility that Crowley had forgotten her. The last she'd seen him was over a year ago and she'd never asked Halt if he had been in communication with Crowley regarding her. She imagined that Crowley would have asked Halt here and there how she was doing, but then again, in an effort to make sure she wasn't found...she wasn't so sure. She very well may have escaped his memory.

She just had to believe that wasn't the case. Trying to push the fear aside, she snuck towards the cottage in now what was near dusk.

There were plenty of ways she could approach this. She could simply knock on the door. She could try to draw him out. She could ride off on Cropper. Or...she could be like Halt.

Y/N wasn't sure if she'd be able to pull it off, but she was willing to try. There really was only one way to test some of the things he'd taught her in the past year.

Waiting patiently, the girl sat just behind one of the trees to the side of the cottage. If routine remained the same, Crowley would eventually come out just before he turned in for the night to stable Cropper. When he did, she would have her chance to get inside. And with Cropper on her side, she had quite the advantage.

Finally, as the light of the sun was nearly entirely gone, Crowley stepped out onto the porch. He stretched and yawned and whistled for Cropper to come in. The horse obediently trot into the clearing and Crowley couldn't help but talk to his dearest friend as he coaxed him towards the stables. Y/N held back from laughing.

Once Crowley disappeared into the stable, Y/N made her break for the cottage. She couldn't guarantee Crowley hadn't seen her and was just playing dumb, but so far, she believed she hadn't been detected. She knew that, like Halt, Crowley left the hinges of his door squeaky incase of unwelcome visitors. But, Y/N knew how to open the door quietly by slightly lifting up as she pushed inwards. She closed the door the same second she heard the stable door shut a little ways off. Hastily, she moved for the same corner of the front room that Halt always hid in. But in the process, she tripped on the rug at the door. She knew she didn't have time to turn the upturned corner back over and was forced to ignore it.

The moment she sat down, the front door swung open. And, of course, Crowley's eyes latched onto the upturned corner of carpet at his front door.

Someone was here and they had gotten inside in the span of time it had taken him to stable his horse. If that really was the case, Cropper would have picked up on the fact that someone was here. And yet, the horse hadn't warned him.

Y/N watched as Crowley calculated. And she knew the exact moment he landed on the conclusion that this was no threat because he tried to suppress a smile as he nudged the carpet back into place.

Pretending as if nothing was wrong, Crowley made his way back to where he had water boiling. Instead of just one, he filled two cups with coffee and then set them both down at the table in the centre of the room. Slowly, as he sat, he lift his eyes and scanned the room.

It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust, but sure enough, there was a figure lurking in the darkest corner of the cottage where the light from the fire didn't quite make its way into.

Whoever was here knew him plenty well enough to have gotten inside nearly undetected. So, he eased into his chair and took a sip of his coffee. It could be one of the other Ranger's here to visit him, but not many of them had a playful enough spirit to sneak into his home. Besides most of them would be plenty busy this time of year to be playing pranks on old friends.

Halt was a likely possibility. He liked to lurk in the shadows and bother Crowley any chance he got. But the matter of the upturned carpet remained. Halt wouldn't let something like that slip.

This was someone less experienced. Someone...

Crowley lost all composure the moment he realized who was in his home.

"Y/N?"

He jumped up from where he sat and knocked the table, cursing to himself at the pain in his thighs and the hot coffee on his hands.

Before he caused too much of a mess, Y/N emerged from the shadows with a wide smile. Crowley tilt his head with a slightly embarrassed and slightly amused smile.

"This is terrible," was the first thing he said. "You're lurking in corners and everything. He's worn off on you. I knew I never should have sent you to him."

"It's nice to see you too," Y/N laughed and rushed to meet Crowley around the table in a comforting hug. Crowley pushed away from her slightly and held her shoulders at arms length.

"Oh, you've grown." His eyes nearly welled up with tears as he said it. "I feel like I've missed so much—"

Crowley stopped himself and his eyes narrowed down on her hair. His hands reached up and pushed back to find the white strip missing.

"And oh—oh no—" He grimaced. "He cut your hair, didn't he?" Halt had always had this strange obsessions with cutting his own hair. And to Crowley, it always looked rather...scruffy.

Nevertheless, he ruffled the girls hair and hugged her once more before he urged her to sit down and pushed the second cup of coffee towards her.

"We had to." Y/N finally spoke back to him as she sat down. "Someone...someone was tracking me by it. I had to get out of Redmont for a while."

Crowley's features darkened and he nervously turned the cup in his hands. "I was worried about that."

"Why did you never tell it was Morgarath trying to hunt me? I knew I was Dearmad, I knew Morgarath made me, but why did you let me think he'd forgotten me? That it wasn't his men after me?"

Crowley sighed and lowered his eyes. It was rare he ever seemed so sullen. "I wanted to give you a chance to be a person. To know what it was like to live a somewhat normal life. Because I worried that if you knew he hadn't forgotten you... then you wouldn't ever believe you were really a person at all. That you were better off if you just went to him."

"Crowley..."

He raised his fingers from his cup as if putting his hands up in surrender. It was faint, but it seemed he winced a little at the thought of the whole situation. "I know I probably didn't do everything right," He admit. "But what parent does?"

Y/N's insides froze over. "Parent?"

Crowley's wide eyes met hers. "I—"

"You see me as—"

"A daughter?" He cried. Any sense of shock for the words that left his mouth was replaced entirely with sincerity. "Of course."

"I thought I'd only ever been a nuisance." Y/N raised a brow.

"Never. Not since that very first day you stole my socks."

"Well, you left them in the sun to dry and they shrunk. Fit me perfectly. What did you expect?"

"Nothing more." He smiled at her and shook his head slightly with laughter. Never once, when he was younger, would he ever have foreseen himself having someone such as Y/N under his care. But ever since that day he had raced through through the woods with Princess Cassandra after the death of her mother, something had stirred within him. Watching the Princess grow up left a weary soft spot in his chest.

The moment Y/N turned up in his life, he knew. He knew she was meant to be a part of his life. And no matter the dangers, he couldn't have wished for more.

And how she was growing up. It had only been a year, but as a parent, a year showed plenty of difference when you knew someone inside out.

Y/N spent the winter with Crowley, mostly hidden away. Occasionally he would send her on messenger runs to other Ranger's around the kingdom. And a few times, she went with him to visit Halt and Gilan.

With the turn of spring and an invitation to Redmont for a feast, Y/N was packed and ready by dawn, eager to get on the road. Crowley wasn't surprised to see how eager she was. As he had noticed in their few visits, Y/N and Gilan seemed to have grown rather close in their time together. Gilan had been a mere afterthought after Crowley had sent Y/N to Halt and all he hoped was that they would get along. And, of course, not cause Halt too much trouble. It had become very clear to him that Gilan had been perhaps the best part of deciding to send her to Halt. Because of him, Y/N finally had a friend who could remember her.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Y/N asked as she dodged the pinecone Gilan chucked at her head as they rode side by side a ways behind Halt and Crowley.

"You, I suspect." Gilan wrinkled his nose in thought.

"As if." Y/N rolled her eyes. "I'm thinking it's about coffee."

"Ah, a good guess." Gilan had to give her credit.

Y/N chuckled and her focused turned to the narrow and treed road they slowly walked down. Their invitation to the feast had, of course, only detailed the three Ranger's. But Y/N didn't mind. She'd stay out in the field with the horses and knew that they would bring her some food for later.

"Who would have thought, huh?" Gilan asked, unable to leave any silence.

Anytime they got to spend with each other these days Gilan tried to savour every moment. He knew they would always come to an end and in an attempt to stave off that fear, he tried to never leave her alone.

"Mules." He chuckled. "Mules can remember you."

Y/N smiled proudly at her scruffy, big-eared mount. "Who would have thought Bob had a secret line of Ranger mules?"

"No one." Gilan shrugged. "I have to admit, he is a pretty impressive fellow."

"He is indeed," Y/N pat the mules neck. "Want to know why Bob named him Napper?"

"I could take a couple of guesses." Gilan raised a brow but urged her to answer anyways.

"He likes to take naps." Y/N tried to muffle her laugh with her hand. "As do I."

"A match made in heaven, I see?" Gilan admired the way she gazed at Napper with such a deep love. He understood the feeling and he was glad she finally had her own horse to experience such a bond with. "Speaking of which, anyone new around Castle Araluen?"

Y/N side eyed him. Gilan always asked. Every time they saw one another. He should have known by now that so few people remembered her, the chances were very slim.

"Nope, just Napper and I." Y/N sighed. "People still don't remember me, Gil."

"Yeah, but I mean, with Crowley's job and all you must cross paths with a lot of Ranger's. And there's been quite a few apprentices the past few years." He explained. "At least one of them..." He stopped what he was saying.

Y/N laughed lightly. "It doesn't matter if there is. They're not supposed to know I even exist. Aside from the few Ranger's I've delivered messages to or Crowley has trusted to introduce me to, it's just you and Halt."

"...The less people that know I exist who can really remember, the better. At least right now."

Gilan's chest ached for her. Even amongst the people who could remember her, she had to hide. The threat of Morgarath was still too much.

"I'm sorry," Gilan muttered. "I'm sorry, I always—I didn't realize—"

"Gil, it's okay. Really." She tried to reassure him. "I'm just glad I have you."

Suddenly, Gilan was very flustered. What did that mean?

"Yeah, and I just wish you could actually come to dinner." He sighed, trying to hide his face from Y/N.

"Ah, it's alright." Y/N shrugged it off. "I don't like crowds and I get the best part of dinner after anyways—the left overs."

"Fair enough," Gilan had to agree. But it didn't change that for once, he just wished he could have her sit at his side. He was proud to be a part of her life and wished there were more ways to show it. "But it does get boring without you there."

He, even though unlike him, was also getting tired of all the questions from just about everyone. Having to dodge questions about whether or not he had someone. Because how was he supposed to explain that his person was forgettable to everyone but him and a select few other people. Who would believe that?

He often wondered about what might happen to her if Morgarath was defeated. Would she be able to be remembered? If that was the case, Gilan knew he would do just about anything to rid of him.

"If you..." Gilan tried to think about how he was going to phrase what he wanted to say. "If you had the chance to be remembered, would you take it?"

Y/N eyed him curiously and then turned away to think about it. "I...I don't know." She shrugged. "If no one could remember me ever, at all, then probably. But I know how people are and somedays I think it's better being forgettable. I'd rather be remembered by a few honestly good people than by everyone who couldn't even care."

"Huh," Gilan contemplate the idea. "I never thought about it like that before."

Gilan's heart pound in his chest. The world was changing fast and soon enough, he'd be graduating. His apprenticeship with Halt would be over and he'd be sent off to his own fief. That was going to make seeing Y/N even harder.

"It's good, I guess," He swallowed hard. Apprehensively, he stopped Blaze and Y/N did the same with Napper, confused. "Less of a chance someone else will have the guts to tell you they like you before I do."

"What?" Y/N was a little startled. It wasn't as if what he said was a total surprise, it was just how he'd done it. Gilan always danced around this topic, trying to dig up proof that he wouldn't get turned down if he finally admit the truth. Even though all the proof was there and he was just terrified of what would happen, what would change, if she told him the same thing back.

"C'mon!" Halt called out from up ahead of them. "We're late!"

"I—" Y/N tried to speak but Crowley's voice rang out next.

"Let's go!" He drew out the o in a long, dramatic sound.

Sending him a sad smile, Y/N nudged Napper forwards down the trail towards their mentors.

Gilan's entire world was shaken up. He'd been so close. He'd finally done it. Just for nothing to be solidified.

"Alright," Crowley loosened Croppers saddle. "This seem like a good camp for you?"

"I—yeah, it'll work." Y/N agreed. "How long do you think you'll be?" She held onto Napper's neck nervously, her eyes darting to Gilan.

"Depends what the Baron has planned," Halt told her. "Don't worry though, we won't leave you the night."

"Alright." She nod.

"Can I stay this time?" Gilan piped up, almost like a weary child. "I—"

"You, stay?" Crowley laughed in disbelief. "You'd never miss a chance to mingle over a meal or to dance with some pretty people. Now c'mon." He pat the boy's back and turned him away from Y/N.

Completely disheartened, Gilan stumbled over his feet as he tried to look back to Y/N as Crowley moved him forwards. His eyes said it all. That he was sorry. That this wasn't what he wanted but it seemed there was no other option.

He didn't want to mingle over a meal. He didn't want to dance with anyone. He never really had, in all honesty. Those things had just been a means of fitting in, proving his worth and maturity. But nowadays, what he wanted was Y/N. To be around her. To prove to her how much he cared. Everything else, like these dinners, just got in the way. They way Gilan cared for Y/N wasn't simply replaceable. He'd learned that in the past year. No matter how many people he crossed paths with, it was Y/N he thought about. He would rather wait months to see her than to focus on anyone else.

Y/N held out her hands and mouthed an 'it's okay,' trying to ensure Gilan wouldn't be too hard on himself.

'Later,' Gilan was sure she'd mouthed just before he was forced to turn away.

But later was always such a risky word.

As the three Ranger's head for Redmont castle, Gilan didn't share in his mentors enthusiasm. He was, and had been for a while now, finding it harder and harder to enjoy the little things, knowing Y/N couldn't be there with him.