There is a saying that sometimes we do not realize what we have untill it is gone. Well, this was true for me. Kind of. We do not realise what we have until it is gone unless we are the ones that let it go. I was one of those who let it go. I knew what I had. Yet, I still took what I had for granted untill it was too late for me to make it right. I let her go.

It felt just like yesterday when she was still holding my hand. I didn't know if at the time she viewed me as her brother or she considered me more than that. I was sure I wasn't considering her as my sister. Maybe that was why I acted like a jerk. I said to myself, if all she wanted was just me being her brother then, so be it. I told myself that I will be acting as a good brother that she asked of me to be. Sometimes I didn't get what she really wanted me to do. One minute she wanted me to be her big brother and the next minute she wanted me to act all lovey-dovey to her. Kusso!*

"Whoa, calm down! What is wrong with you?" my best friend, Ryuuji Nara asked me. I just stared at him dumbfounded. What exactly was he talking about? I then tilted my head to see him more in my more comfortable position. I saw him holding a cup of coffee in his right hand.

I raised my eyebrow, "Is that for me, Nara?"

"Nope. It's for the lady over there." He then pointed at some random lady that he just happened to find in the room.

"Don't act smart with me. Smart ass. I'm just asking you," I tried to defend myself.

"Don't be a stupid. I know you know it is for you. There is no need for you to ask me anyway." He then sat beside me and put the cup on an empty chair between me and him. I then just answered him, "Have you ever heard about rethorical questions? That's exactly what I have been asking." Some best friend I had here.

"Whatever. That's beside the point anyway. So, what is wrong with you? You are just cursing out of nowhere. No way in hell you just did that without any reason," he asked as he sipped his own coffee.

It looked like I needed a cup of coffee too. I lifted the cup to my mouth and looked at Nara sideways while trying my best to share the coldness I felt with the cup of coffee that I had in my hand. "You can guess yourself who else would give me so much stress other than her?"

Nara narrowed his eyes at me and said in frustation. "Kusso! I told you to get rid of her when you were not in too deep. Now it is way too deep for you to pull yourself out. Now you are way too much in the deep."

"I know, man. I know. I just can't help myself. You will know what I'm talking about the day you find yourself falling in love." I stated. Then I glanced at the cup of coffee in my hand and looked at him again. "Thanks for the coffee, anyway."

"Who said I'd never fall in love?" He smirked.

When I was about to ask him more, there was an anouncement that was voiced out loud via a speaker all over the VIP waiting room in Haneda International Airport.

"This is the final boarding call for passengers Ryuuji Nara and Takishima Kei booked on ANA flight #008 to San Francisco. Please proceed to gate 8 immediately. The final checks are being completed and the captain will order for the doors of the aircraft to close in approximately five minutes time. I repeat. This is the final boarding call for Ryuuji Nara and Takishima Kei. Thank you."

"What the hell?!" I said.

Nara and I were looking at each other while shouting out of nowhere the moment we heard the speaker stop talking. I raised my hand to stop him from talking more.

"Wait, what the hell did I just hear? I thought we had more time. Kusso!" I then abruptly stood from my seat and threw the empty cup into the bin beside the waiting chair. I picked up my backpack and put it on my shoulders. Watching me doing that made Nara immediately act to prepare and he started doing the same himself too. After I saw him get prepared, I rushed to walk to get out of the VIP waiting room with him following me. Then I went straight to gate 8 as the speaker instructed.

Nara was following me behind knowing that I couldn't be disturbed when I was feeling so annoyed. Hell, I was annoyed by the fact that I actually needed to rush my walking just beacuse I was late. I was a disciplined person. I didn't like to be late to anything and certainly did not like to be late for checking in my flight. Kusso!

I turned around and looked at Nara. I stated with an annoyed tone. "Remind me again why I chose to fly in the middle of the night? It's freaking 1:52 a.m. right now. I should be sleeping right now and not drinking a cup of coffee or being rushed to catch a flight."

Nara sighed deeply as he shook his head and answered. "Because you are too afraid to let Naomi freaking Lanhard go. You are a fool. You are damn too stupid to realize what you are doing just wasting your time. And you are—."

I raised my hand and stopped him from talking more "Okay. Okay. I get it. I am a fool. I am stupid and whatever you want to call me but, let me be the foolest and the stupidest if it means that I can be with her."

"You are crazy." He shook his head again at me.

What was with him and shaking his head? I didn't know that it was his habit nowadays. "Yeah. I'm a bit crazy over her." I admited.

"Just a bit?" He asked teasing me.

"A lot. Okay. A lot. Now, shut up and—," before I even had the chance to finish my sentence, there was a voice that stopped me from voicing out my next words.

"Mr. Takishima?" She asked me while giving me her appealing smile.

I just nodded my head at her. Then she looked at Nara and asked, "Mr. Ryuuji?"

Nara was glancing at me before nodding his head at her.

As she looked at me, at Nara and then back and forth between us, she then gestured to the two of us to follow her. We just walked behind her and let her lead us. Since we already had our boarding pass and identification ready, we directly made our way to Boeing 777 from All Nippon Airways which was known as Zenniku, stand for Zen Nippon Kuyu Kabushiki Gaisha. As expected, the Boeing 777 was indeed a big plane.

I looked up at the plane and found myself asking. 'If today's plane could be this big, then how big was the plane going to be in twenty years time just like the story of development of mobile phones. When mobile phones were invented, at first they were as big as my tumbler in a capacity of seventy hundred and fifty mililiter mineral water. But, I now looked at how small and slim mobile phones are now, or should I say smartphones? Well, we would never know where the future leads us. But, we sure know how to deal with the unexpected future as we prepare for it now, right?'

Suddenly I felt Nara poked his finger at my left shoulder. I turned my head sideways and narrowed my eyes at him as he raised his head to look into my eyes intensely before he spoke."Sometimes I wonder what is going on in your thick head. You act as if you are trying to save the world." After saying those words, he just looked straight ahead.

"Well, too bad. I love to keep my own way of thinking inside my head," I grinned. He stole a glance at me and then shook his head again. What was so interesting about shaking his head anyway? I did not really get him honestly. But, whatever. It was not my business. So, I decided to move on.

Nara and I continued walking until the female employee stopped abruptly. She stopped on the top of the additional stairs which lead to where we were going to enter inside the plane. We followed her movement. Nara and I were looking at each other and looking at the lad. Before I was going to ask her what was going to happen next, the lady beat me and spoke while smiling like she never got tired of smiling like that. "Enjoy your flight."

"We Will do." I said flatly.

"Hey! Don't be so cold like that. She is a woman you know." Nara defended the lady.

"Why should I? She is just like a robot, you know. Smiling at us even though her smile didn't reach her eyes at all. How can you not see that?" I asked him wondering how in the world he didn't think about this situation like how I did.

"You are thinking too much." He sighed and continued. "Anyway, where is your seat?"

I hated it when people replied to my question with question. I was like? Really? I was the one who asked them the question first and yet, they demanded from me to answer their question first. I was like ready to punch someone. I swore if he was not my best friend, I wouldn't have even considered saving his face from getting punched in the first place. It was lucky for him. Indeed, lucky.

"14C. Yours?" I asked him.

"14E. Good for us. We are near each other." He stated with relief.

"I know right." Nara and I walked in the same direction. As we found our seats, Nara was the first one to sit down as he found his seat while I was putting my backpack on my cabin above the seats. After everything settled, I took a seat at 14C near the window. Seeing me settled in, Nara immediately took the chance to settle himself in. He put his backpack in the cabin and then abruptly sit on his seat.

I was about to sleep when there was a voice speaking out loud through the Boeing's speaker. I couldn't care less about my flight right? But, I sat still in my seat, carefully heard what the captain or whomever said through the speaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome on board Flight #008 with service from Tokyo to San Francisco. We are currently third in line for take-off and expected to be in the air in approximately five minutes time. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelt at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Smoking is prohibited for the duration of the flight. Thank you for choosing All Nippon Airlines. Enjoy your flight."

Well, I didn't need to turn off my cell phone as my cell phone had a flight mode. What was the point of the flight mode in cell phones if in the end, we also had to turn off our cell phones every damn time we took a flight. So, instead of turning off my cell phone, I chose to turn on my cell phone's flight mode.

Two minutes later, there was a flight attendant coming my way and she said, "Please turn off your cell phone as we are now preparing to take off just about in ten minutes time."

I replied, trying to reason with her explaining my actions. "I don't need to turn off my cell phone as I already have turned on my flight mode."

"Very well. Enjoy your flight." She smiled while gritting her teeth tightly as she spoke to me. I was just smiling at her sweetly. She was just smiling but, her eyes were telling me to go to hell. I chuckled at myself as I saw her clenched her fist and abruptly left me alone. It was as though she was afraid that if she still stayed there with me she would have eventually broken my neck or something which was unlikely to happen anyway.

I laid back in my seat and closed my eyes before wondering around inside my head about how the hell I was going to face Naomi Lanhard. She was my osananajimi . She was my first love. She was all that mattered to me. Too bad she was leaving me without saying goodbye. I just couldnt believe how she dared do that to me. I knew she had to follow her father to San Francisco as he was working there. But, there was no excuse for the fact that she failed to inform me beforehand.

We had been together since we were kids. But, she always considered me as her big brother. Nothing more. Nothing less. But, sometimes I didn't understand her, really. One minute she could be just my sister but, the next minute she acted like she was my protective girlfriend. Not that I was complaining though. I just didn't get her sometimes. Well, I thought I didn't really know her like I thought I knew.

Geez. Stop thinking about her, Kei. Stop! Just stop! But, I couldn't help myself. She was all I thought about. There was no one else.

I sighed big time. Then I looked around at my suroundings and I realized that it was going to be a long flight. So, I thought I needed to sleep before I got jet-lag the moment I stepped my feet in San Francisco.

I took my cell phone out of my pocket and then plugged the earphone in before putting it in my ears. I searched for the blindfold in the front dashboard before putting it on over my eyes. I laid back and slept.

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*Kusso means shit.