https://youtu.be/9S7rzZKiZv8

I don't know what it is with me but I've been getting anxious a lot more now. Mostly every little thing i do, living, being alive to see certain things. Then there's children... How innocent of the world most are. I'm so jealoud they don't have to worry about much except if they get the toy they want or not... I want that mind again...

I don't know if this is normal or not. But i have been wanting to cry a bit more... I don't know if it's because i havent slept much or my anxiety or what... I have a feeling i don't want to have responsibilities in case i fail or something. Like i don't want to live to see things like that... I went out today and i had fun! Once we got back in the car i started to get anxious... How doing that made me forget everything that was going on... 

I don't know what to do... I need help... I want to live because i don't want anyone to suffer with me... I want to help people but i dont know how long i can do that before i become useless... My real life friends and my close wattpad friends... I love you all... I love knowing how happy ive made you all. 

I know its a good thing but I'm too much of a wimp to do anything bad to myself... I'm scared of what will happen after... I'm hoping it will pass but im wasting everything... i feel like i am... 

Please, no one become upset over me... I'm sure i will be ok... I got my comfort bonnie plushie... I'll be ok... 

"I wont forget the ones who
Pulled me out when I was at my worst
if its you I cared about
You know I'd tell you first" At my worst - Get Scared

Everyone asks if im ok... I have no idea. I feel ok but i feel anxious... LIke some things i do i'll regret. 

Sorry i needed to rant