I have a secret.

A dirty, delightful secret.

He is everything I shouldn't want and everything I long to touch. 

The nips of teeth against smooth skin, a bruise from a kiss, and lips glossed by salty tears. 

It's toxic and pure all at once because it's my will to survive.

He is divine and unseen, skin the color of coffee and eyes as charred as my heart.

The ways his hair curls and falls just below the tips of his ears,

the way he listens to me talk;

everything about him is my lifeline.

I almost feel bad for the poor girl I'm stringing along as a cover for who I really am.

She deserves a lot better.

She's a sweet girl with a lot of dreams inside the body of a goddess.

I know she loves me.

I don't love her back.

I'll end up hurting her and him, I'm sure of it.

It's okay though, I won't stick around forever.