Hindi ko alam kung bakit tanga akong pumayag na sumama kay Atlas sa party ni Bernadette. Una, hindi naman kami magkaibigan kahit noon pa kaya duda ako na kasama ako sa imbitasyon. Pangalawa, mga mararangya at propesiyonal ang mga bisita kaya wala ako sa lugar. Ano ang iisipin nila kapag ipinakilala ako ni Atlas bilang asawa?

"Are you, okay?" Atlas asked as his hand snaked around my waist.

Pumasok kaming hawak-kamay sa hotel dahil medyo ninerbyos ako bigla. Maganda man ang suot ko at hindi nila alam na hindi ako mayaman o nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral, naaasiwa pa rin ako.

I nodded shyly at him.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you're the most beautiful here," he whispered.

Namula naman ako kaya bumulong siya ulit. "Hindi ka pa ba handa? Alam kong halos tatlong buwan pa lang simula nang mamatay ang Nanay Sylvia pero naisip kong makakabuti sa'yo ang makaalis naman ng bahay maliban papunta sa eskuwelahan. Pero kung gusto mo, umuwi na lang tayo."

I shook my head at him and gave a little smile to show him I was okay. It's no use trying to hide myself because people already know Atlas is married.

Mas mapapahiya siya kung palagi akong magtatago.

Ang sabi ni Atlas ay pinabili niya sa sekretarya niya ang damit at sapatos na nasa isang paper bag na nakita ko sa itaas ng kama 'ko pagdating namin kanina sa bahay.

It was a dark-green dress with a sweetheart neckline and flowy skirt that had a side slit. Light makeup lang din ang nilagay ko dahil halos wala rin ako nito. Kahit ang buhok ay hinayaan ko lang na nakalugay. Because the open-toe stilettos were also gold, I regretted not getting to use my silver necklace tonight because it's been months since I've last worn it. Medyo naiilang ako na suotin ang wedding band at engagement ring pero siguradong hindi matutuwa si Atlas kapag hindi ko sinuot ang mga 'yon.

Pagdating namin sa hotel kung saan ang handaan ay nagsisi ako nang nakita ang magarbong mga suot at makeup ng ibang mga bisita.

Sinipat ni Atlas kung saan ako nakatingin at nahulaan yata ang iniisip ko.

"Kahit hindi ka naka-makeup, Rae, maganda ka pa rin."

I looked at him and exhaled heavily, appreciating his encouraging words. His eyes immediately settled on the rings on my finger.

He swallowed heavily as he rubbed my finger, his Adam's apple more prominent than usual.

A woman approached us and tugged Atlas away from me before we could speak more.

"Atlas! Mabuti naman at nakarating ka. Unang beses yata ito na pinaunlakan mo ang imbitasyon ko," bati ng babae sa isang boses na halatang sanay makihalubilo sa iba't ibang klase ng tao.

"I'm sorry, Dette. Happy birthday!" saad ni Atlas at agad inabot ang isang maliit na kahon.

I realized I've never really seen Bernadette smile a lot all those years ago. One of her rare smiles was on for Atlas now. Hindi maipagkakaila na maganda talaga siya.

Mas lalo pang lumitaw ang kagandahan niya dahil sa suot. She was also wearing a dress with a sweetheart neckline but the dip was lower and more seductive. The red ball dress sparkled with crystals and the skirts ballooned enough to make her look like a princess.

"Salamat!" she gushed at she looked at the pair of ruby earrings that Atlas had gifted her.

"You're welcome. You should thank my wife, though. Si Rae ang pumili," Atlas said easily and pulled me closer to him.

"Wife?" This time, Bernadette didn't have a choice but to look squarely at me. A flash of recognition instantly lit her eyes.

"Nandito na pala kayo! Akala ko hindi ka na naman dadalo, Pare," someone joined us and put an arm on Atlas's shoulder playfully.

"Atlas?" tanong ulit ni Bernadette.

"Sa wakas, Pare. Akala ko itatago mo na lang si Rae sa'min eh!" biro ulit ng kaibigan ni Atlas.

"I'm sure you remember Andraea— Dette, JP."

"Akala ko... niloloko lang ako ni JP nang sinabi niya kanina na nag-asawa ka na." Halatang hindi natutuwa si Bernadette pero pilit na tinago niya 'yon sa isang ngiti.

"Nagkakilala na tayo noon, pero siguradong nakalimutan mo na," sabi ni JP sabay abot ng kamay ko.

I smiled easily at him and shook his hand. Atlas immediately pulled my hand and encased it in his own, bringing me a feeling of déjà vu.

"I see we will finally have the privilege of meeting your wife, Attorney Salvador."

I know he's probably in his early sixties but our mayor looks about ten years younger. Matipuno pa rin ang pangangatawan at hindi maitatanggi na makisig. Sobra man sa kalahati ang edad ng asawa niya sa kanya, hindi maipagkakaila na bagay silang dalawa.

"Huh?" Bernadette turned towards her husband with an inquiring look.

"Didn't I mention it? I thought you'd know already, seeing as you were once very close to Attorney Salvador, honey," Mayor Aragon responded genially.

"Mayor Leandro Aragon, meet my wife, Andraea Salvador," Atlas smoothly said.

The mayor extended a hand which I shook shortly.

"Kinagagalak ko po kayong makilala," magalang na saad ko.

"Oh, but this isn't our first time to meet, hija. If I remember correctly, I offered you a scholarship many years ago."

Naalala ko agad ang binanggit ni Mayor pero hindi ko gusto kung saan patungo ang usapan kaya tipid lang akong ngumiti.

Atlas must have sensed my discomfort because he shifted the topic quickly.

"Dinig ko po ay marami pa rin kayong binibigyan ng scholarship," tanong ni Atlas.

"Our mayor is a philanthropist, Atlas. Kung gusto mong maging alkalde rin balang araw, maraming maituturo si Mayor sa'yo," dagdag ni JP bago makasagot si Mayor Aragon.

"Hindi ko planong tahakin ang politika," sagot ni Atlas.

"Gano'n ba, Attorney? Sayang naman. I have been watching your career, and I bet we can groom you for candidacy in a few years' time," the mayor said, nodding to JP.

Ngumiti lang si Atlas pero ramdam ko agad ang disgusto niya sa paksa. Gusto ko man ibahin ang usapan ay hindi ko rin alam kung paano.

"So tell me, Mrs. Salvador," Bernadette started and I immediately asked to be called Rae instead. "Ano'ng pinagkakaabalahan mo ngayon? Nag abogasya ka rin ba? If I remember correctly, you were rather... eloquent even in high school."

Namula ako sa sinabi ni Bernadette, nahihiyang magsabi ng totoo.

"Nag-aaral ako ulit," sagot ko.

"Can you please excu—" Tingin ko ay gagawa si Atlas ng palusot para makaiwas akong sumagot pero hindi 'yon hinayaan ni Bernadette.

"Nag ma-masteral ka na? Saan?" tanong niya na parang puno ng interes sa buhay ko.

I swallowed slowly and braced myself before answering.

"Actually, I'm still completing my bachelor's degree. Unfortunately, I had to stop studying in Manila."

"Oh."

Bernadette's one-syllable reply spoke volumes. She had an annoying little smile on her face that looked particularly condescending.

"Better late, than never," sabi ni JP na pilit pinapasigla ang modo ng usapan.

"Ang importante ay bumalik ka sa pag-aaral, hija," the mayor kindly commented although it was clear to see he wasn't impressed with me either. I could almost see the wheels turning inside his head.

Kung sakaling tatakbo sa halalan si Atlas sa hinaharap, kailangan niya ng asawa na mas magpapatibay sa imahe niya.

Atlas slowly put a hand on my waist and pulled me close to his side as he kissed my hair softly.

"Pero, paano ka makakatulong sa career ni Atlas? Lalo na kung magpasya siyang pasukin ang pulitika?" inosenteng tanong ni Bernadette kahit medyo nakataas ang isang kilay niya. Siguro ay sinabi niya lang rin ang iniisip nilang lahat.

"That's enough!" Atlas's voice was low but it was harsh and had a commanding lilt that instantly made Bernadette blush angrily.

"I'm sure, Andraea has her own good qualities, honey. Come now, we should mingle with the other guests. Attorney Salvador, Rae, Inspector, please excuse us," the mayor said and pulled his wife to walk with him.

"Pasensya ka na kay Bernadette, Rae. Alam mo naman, dati pang may gusto kay Atlas 'yon," paliwanag ni JP.

"Pare..." saway naman ni Atlas sa kaibigan.

"Alam ko naman 'yon eh. Sayang hindi sila nagkatuluyan," was all that I trusted myself to say.

"I'm sorry about Bernadette."

Nakaalis na kami sa party at kasalukuyang nasa kotse pauwi.

"Hmmm," I replied.

"Rae..."

"Tama naman siya eh. Kaya nga sinasabi ko sa'yo, hindi na dapat tayo nagpakasal."

He sighed wearily.

"Nakakahiya ako..." I whispered, wishing he hadn't heard it but he did.

Tinigil niya ang sasakyan sa gilid ng kalsada at hinarap ako.

"Kasalanan ko kung bakit naikasal tayo agad, Rae," simula niya. Sasabihin niya na rin ba na nagsisisi rin siya?

"Hindi tayo dapat nagpakasal nang madalian. Pero gusto kong malaman mo, pinakasalan kita hindi lang dahil kay Nanay Sylvia. Pinakasalan kita dahil matagal na kitang gustong maging asawa," paliwanag niya sa namamaos na tinig.

"Kailan? Nang kinse pa lang ako? Nang nakita mo akong naninigarilyo o nang napagbintangan akong magnanakaw?" pinilit ko ang sarili na hindi maluha pero may kumawalang mga luha.

He sighed heavily and touched my cheek softly. "Yes."

I frowned and faced him directly, not sure if he's trying to joke with me at the moment.

"Huh?"

"As ridiculous as it sounds, I must admit that I fell in love with you when you were only fifteen. Can you imagine how bad I felt about it all those years ago? I didn't want it to seem like I was taking advantage of you whenever we were together."

"Atlas..."

"Alam ni Lola Lourdes. Sinabi ko sa kanya dahil diretso niya rin akong tinanong. Pinagsabihan niya rin ako na bata ka pa at hindi tama kung sakaling ligawan man kita."

I cried even more, remembering the old woman who had loved me like her own granddaughter. Nang pinalibing namin ang mga abo ni Nanay ay hinanap ko rin sa sementeryo ang puntod niya.

"I promised her and myself that I will wait for you to grow up. I told myself I will study and work harder so when you're ready to marry, you won't hesitate to choose me."

"At ano'ng nadatnan mo, Atlas? Isang babae na hindi man lang nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral? Na nanilbihan bilang katulong sa Maynila?"

Lumapit siya sa mukha ko at ginawaran ng marahan halik ang aking noo.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang liit ng tingin mo sa sarili mo, Rae. I have always been in love with you and I wish you'd give me the chance to prove it to you."

"Isang taon."

"Ano?"

"Papayag akong maging asawa mo sa loob ng isang taon. Kung sakaling... kung sakaling hindi pa rin maging maayos ang lahat, sana, ibigay mo ang kalayaan ko."

Hindi ko gustong bigyan siya ng ultimatum pero 'yon lang ang nakikita kong paraan para ibalik ang kalayaan niya.

Hindi tama na nagsakripisyo si Atlas para sa'kin. Siguradong maganda ang hinaharap niya at wala maitutulong ang presensya ko sa buhay niya.

"Make it two years. Hintayin mo man lang makapagtapos ka ng pag-aaral, Rae," malamig na tugon niya bago ako bitawan at magpatuloy sa pagmamaneho.